"Are you sure about this, sweetheart?"
Lily knew that Ryan's heart was in the right place, and that he worried on her behalf. She went over, hugged him tight, and kissed him soundly.
"Yes, I'm sure. A lot of what John said was pure crap. But he and Alice are my children, and I do feel an obligation to assist them with their educational expenses."
"I know you do. I also know that you'd like to build better relationships with the both of them. I just don't want you to be too disappointed if things don't work out that way. You can only go halfway, darling. They have to come the rest of the way themselves."
"I know. And I also know that my mother is likely never going to change. I ... I can't have her interfering in my life anymore, as she's always done. It breaks my heart to say this, but I may have to cut all ties to her. And that would be like history repeating itself, because I know she did the same thing when she left home, before she met and married my father."
At his questioning look, she walked into the living room, and opened the middle drawer of her newly refurbished desk. She handed him the book she kept there.
"Your mother's diary?” he asked after opening it.
"Yes. Anger and bitterness seethed in every word, and I couldn't understand it. How could a twelve-year-old girl have such darkness inside her for her own parents? Then I found this section.” She took the book, and opened it to where she wanted him to read.
When he looked up at her again, she read his expression. “No, it doesn't excuse her behavior. But it does go some ways in explaining it."
"Lots of kids are adopted, Lily."
"Yes. But not many are the illegitimate child of an heiress."
Chapter 18
"How much do you know of the story?"
"Quite a bit, now. I guess Uncle Mark must have figured it out when he went through all the old family documents, not long before he died. He left them for me to easily find, packed in new cartons, in plain sight right at the top of the attic stairs."
Lily smiled as Ryan simply began to set the table for her as she continued to prepare the dinner. In the time she'd known him, he'd cooked dinner, ran the washer and dryer, and had even vacuumed her living room. How nice to be with a man who simply shared the duties of day-to-day living.
Because she wanted to share, too, she began to tell him what she knew. “Apparently, during the 1930s, my grandparents had as much trouble as everyone else making ends meet. Uncle Mark, just a boy himself, helped my grandfather with the farm, of course, but it wasn't enough. My grandmother, through friends, found work in Toronto, with a wealthy family. The Westerlys hired my grandmother as a housekeeper—sort of like head of the household staff. Tough for her to be away from her husband and son for weeks at a time, but the era was known for people having to do hard things. Anyway, the Westerly's had a son, Chad, and a daughter, Amelia. I think the daughter was only fifteen when my grandmother went to work there in nineteen thirty-eight. A romance brewed between Amelia and one of the staff—my grandmother doesn't say who, in her own journal, only that the man had been hired for a time, then left. Amelia became pregnant. The family freaked. A common reaction in those days. They made arrangements for Amelia to be sent away until she had the baby. I guess because Mrs. Westerly trusted my grandmother, and because my grandmother couldn't have any more children, they paid to have Amelia kept here for the duration of her pregnancy. They had homes for unwed mothers in those days, of course, but from what I've read of the letters Mrs. Westerly sent to my grandmother, she feared her daughter's situation would become known if she went to one of them. The farm suited her purposes, being far enough away from the city so that no one in the family's social circle would know, and isolated enough that the secret could be kept. When the baby arrived, my grandparents adopted her."
"How did your mother find out?"
Lily replaced the lid on the pot of potatoes, then turned and leaned against the stove. “My grandmother told her she was adopted, though she didn't reveal the identity of her birth mother. On her own, my mother searched out the details—my grandmother had kept the letters from Mrs. Westerly, and she found them."
"So your mother figures that if she hadn't been adopted by your grandmother—she would have grown up rich?” Ryan had just set the last of the glasses on the table, and looked up at her.
"I think that's exactly what she thought at the time. I know that when she left here, she never returned. My dad brought me out to visit my uncle and grandparents. But Dad never told me why mother never came with us."
"Does knowing your mother's history help?"
"Yes, it does. Because I can at least understand why she is as she is."
"Whatever became of the Westerlys?” He leaned back against the counter and folded his arms, mimicking Lily's pose.
"From what I understand, Amelia married a doctor and moved to British Columbia. Her father didn't do such a good job preserving the family fortune as his predecessors had done. He died in the early seventies, and there wasn't much left of the estate."
"Does your mother know that?"
"I have no idea.” She turned around to adjust the oven temperature, then walked over to Ryan. “Like I said, at least now I understand where her anger and bitterness has come from. And I understand why she took to Reg right away and favored him over me."
"Because he represents the social sphere she believes she belongs in?"
"Exactly. She married my father, I'm guessing because she chose to, but she was never really happy with him. I don't think he ever made enough money to suit her, though I think he did pretty well. I guess her real problem is that she's stuck in a nineteen fifties mindset. Upper class, in my opinion, has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with the inner person."
"Amen to that.” He stood back, surveyed the table. “Well, I guess we're ready here."
Lily chuckled. “Yeah. The only thing left to say is, send in the clowns."
* * * *
"Pass the ham, please.” Ryan's wink accompanied his request, and was returned by Lily's smile. Any other woman would have crumbled under the strain by now.
When he'd arrived, Reg had sent a scathing glance toward the set table, then shot Lily a disapproving look. “I thought we were invited here to discuss sensitive family business."
Reg's emphasis on the word ‘family,’ deliberately aimed at Ryan, made him chuckle. “Ouch, I guess that tells me,” he'd replied as he went over to Lily and slipped his arm around her waist.
"That's strange. Because I always thought a dinner invitation implied the sharing of a meal.” When her ex looked like he would protest further, Lily opened her hands graciously, inviting all to sit. “We will discuss business. After we eat."
"I hope your wife is well,” the short brunette Lily had introduced as Pam asked of Reg.
"Quite well, thank you. I couldn't see any reason to include her in this ... gathering."
Ryan caught Lily's expression then and did his best not to laugh. Apparently, including a wife in anything wasn't something Reginald Martin could find reason for, ever. He admired his lady's restraint in not pointing that out.
In short order, dinner guests had been seated, wine poured, and food served.
"Alice, I never did ask you last week. Are you still planning to go back to U of T in the fall?"
"Yeah. I'm entering the final year of my undergrad degree in English. Once I get that, I'm not completely sure what it is I want to do. I thought I might teach."
"Oh, now that would be interesting. Alice, a teacher."
Her brother's snide tone stiffened Alice's back. Ryan wondered how the little monster continually got away with acting like an asshole.
"It is interesting,” Lily immediately agreed, flashing her daughter a smile. “I think Alice would make a wonderful teacher."
"You do?"
Lily must have also heard the self-doubt in Alice's voice, for she immediately nodded. “I do. You have excellent people skills, and a way with kids. I notic
ed that when you served as camp counselor. If that's what would make you happy, I say go for it. What age group?"
"Elementary grades. Maybe even junior high."
"Well, your brother has certainly provided you with ample experience dealing with the pre-adolescent attitude."
"I beg your pardon?” John gave his mother a look that mimicked his father's.
"And so you should,” his mother replied quietly. “Immature and rude behavior is never appropriate, and always requires an apology."
The look of shock John wore was priceless. Ryan would have laughed, but he knew how hard it had been for Lily to say what needed to be said. The look of surprise on Alice's face made him realize that she had likely suffered the same treatment, at least from her brother, as had her mother.
"I don't have to stay here and be treated like this."
"You do if you want any financial assistance from me.” Lily looked right at him then, and Ryan wanted to cheer when John finally gave way and lowered his eyes.
"I think it may be time to get to the heart of this evening's entertainment,” she said then, challenging her ex with just a look. When her attention switched to Ryan, he gave her a nod of encouragement. Getting to his feet, he placed a hand on Lily's shoulder. “I'll clear the dishes, put on the coffee. If you'd like to take everyone into the living room?"
* * * *
It amazed Lily that things had gone as well as they had so far. She waited for Ryan to join them, then nodded to Pam, who had brought her briefcase into the room with her. Lily alone remained standing, and as Pam began to speak Lily braced her back against the window, her attention riveted on her family.
"Mr. Martin, I have here sworn affidavits from Lily's own doctor, from a psychiatrist in private practice, and from her investment broker. They all essentially say the same thing. My client—Lily Martin—is sane, competent, and quite capable of managing her own affairs. Should anyone be thinking of trying to prove otherwise, it would be practically impossible to do so. It is most difficult to have an adult declared incompetent in this province even with sufficient cause and evidence. In this case, there would be no chance of that happening, whatsoever."
Lily watched as the expressions chased across Reg's face. When she had thought ahead to this moment, she imagined she might feel powerful. But all she really felt was relief. Reginald Martin no longer had any power over her. She had taken it back after years of marriage. Now, noting the basically shocked and surprised look on his face, she couldn't help but chuckle.
"You shouldn't be surprised. It wasn't difficult to figure out what you and my mother had in mind."
"Your mother is quite convinced that you're ... sick. As she is the woman who raised you, I bowed to her greater knowledge of you."
That was a slap, and a part of Lily wanted to respond in kind. Instead, she made her tone dismissive. “I'll deal with my mother later."
She took a moment to look at the faces of her children. John's expression mirrored his father's. But Alice ... Alice's lips turned up in a slight smile. That simple fact gave her hope. They had begun to build a tentative relationship over just one lunch. Lily really wanted to share the kind of loving relationship with her daughter that had been denied to her. Refocusing on the present, she looked to Ryan, nodded in response to his wink, and turned her attention to her children.
"It is time that I did something in order to help pay for your educations. John was right in that. But he was quite wrong to think that he could somehow manipulate me into selling my home.
"If I did sell this place, I would be under no obligation whatsoever to share the proceeds of that sale with anyone. You're both legally adults, legally responsible for your own lives. But I've not done much to help you financially—or to help you become responsible adults. All that is about to change."
Lily nodded to Pam, who drew two folders out of her briefcase. She handed one to each of Lily's children.
"These are contracts. Once signed, they will be legally binding. I'll let you read them over, but essentially what they say is that if you are willing to get jobs and contribute to your educations, then I will contribute, too. These contracts are very clear. For every one hundred dollars you earn, I'll kick in three. I'll provide money to assist you in getting apartments, if that's what you choose to do. I'll give you, outright, the first and last month's rent, and will subsidize—not pay in full, but subsidize—your rent to a maximum of three hundred dollars a month. I will also cover the full cost of your text books and will contribute twenty per cent of the cost of your tuitions. Now, this will allow your father to cut back on some of the educational obligations he's been underwriting, but not all of them. Take a few days to look over the contracts. But bear in mind, this is the only offer that I am going to make. Should you turn it down, you are on your own, financially, as far as I am concerned."
John jumped to his feet, barely letting her finish. “This is bullshit! Who the fuck do you think you are, trying to tell me what to do and trying to run my life this way—a job, for God's sake! Well, I won't stand for it! You can't treat me like this! And if Grandmother knew—"
"If your grandmother knew, John, it would change nothing. The time is done when you can use her to threaten me, or use her to get your way with me. Don't you think it's time for you to grow up? Become a man?"
"Go to hell."
The sound of the door slamming echoed through the room. Lily turned her eyes to her ex and saw, with some surprise, his embarrassment. Alice sighed, breaking the silence.
"He's just mad. When he cools down, he'll realize that this is a pretty good deal, Mom."
"Is it?"
"Yeah, it is. I have no problem with getting a job. I didn't really bother before because the only ones I could get paid minimum wage, for part time hours—and it was easy to just let Dad pay for everything. But this is a good deal."
Lily thought she would cry when her daughter hugged her. “I want us to spend more time together,” she said quietly.
"Me too. I'm proud of you, Mom. I never said that before."
Lily stroked a hand down Alice's hair. “I've never given you much of a reason to be proud of me before."
Reginald got to his feet. “I'll speak to John. I'll tell him the only way he will get his tuition paid by me is if he accepts your offer. It is a generous one."
"He wants us out of the house, and to be honest, I want out, too,” Alice said after her father left. “I'll speak to John too, Mom."
* * * *
"Congratulations. You handled them all beautifully,” Ryan said when, a few minutes later, all their guests had left.
"Well,” Lily replied as she turned into his arms. “Not all of them. There's one more to go."
"Baby, you don't have to. You could just ... leave things as they are. Wait for her to contact you. Chances are, she'll act as if nothing has happened."
"Six months ago ... hell, six weeks ago, that's what I would have done. But I'm not hiding behind a shield of acquiescence anymore. I think the time has come for me to beard the lioness in her den."
"I'm worried, because I have a feeling she's going to use her claws and rake the hell out of you."
"Then I'll be expecting you to stand by with the first aid kit."
Chapter 19
Lily felt as if she had come full circle.
The home on North Shore Boulevard showed signs of age. When built in the nineteen fifties, it had been a show place, a grand house in the grandest neighborhood of the city of Burlington. As Lily got out of her car, she noted that the paint needed refreshing, and the roof replacing.
She'd never spent much time thinking about how her mother managed, financially speaking. Eloise Robertson Riggs always seemed to be in control of everything, and everyone around her. But now, looking at this old house through fresh eyes, she wondered.
All her life, Lily had wanted her mother to love her. She'd always been grateful, of course, for the nice clothes and all the extras—music and dance lessons, vacations
, and spending money. She had been the only one in her senior class to drive a brand new car. But even as a teen, she thought she could have done without some of those frills if it meant having a mother whom she knew loved her.
Instead, it had always seemed as if her mother had—maybe not hated her so much as resented her. And she'd never known why.
Now that she understood her mother's core bitterness, she thought she could figure out the why. But she was tired of speculating, and tired of letting everything her mother did, or didn't do, eat away at her.
Lily didn't knock. She'd never knocked on this door. In years past, when her father had been alive, they had employed a housekeeper three days a week. As Lily closed the door behind her, she realized there'd been no housekeeper here for nearly five years. Yet the interior of the home had been kept ruthlessly spotless. In fact, it didn't really look as if anyone actually lived here. The room not only lacked clutter, it lacked character. No photographs graced tables or mantles, not a single personal touch warmed the space.
Just shy of nine in the morning, Lily knew her mother would be in the kitchen, having her second cup of tea and reading the newspaper. She smiled, slightly, when she entered the back room and saw her doing just that.
"Good morning, Mother."
"I should think you'd be ashamed to show your face, considering your behavior over the last few weeks. Cavorting with outlaw bikers, threatening your own children, being rude to Reginald."
Lily grabbed a cup from the cupboard, and poured herself a cup of tea. Why had she always felt so jittery here? Why had that tone of voice from her mother always chilled her blood and frozen her spirit? She smiled as she realized not only did she not feel any of those things, she actually thought her mother was—well, kind of funny.
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