by Lauren Rowe
“‘Secretly Dirty.’”
My clit flutters. I hold his gaze. “Good name.”
Lucas smirks. “So tell me about yourself, Abby. Let’s talk like actual human beings…for a bit.”
Oh, Jesus. I know where this is headed. He’s following the exact blueprint I gave him, after all. And I must admit, I’m not sad about it.
I stammer through some boring basics about myself and he listens intently like what I’m telling him is endlessly fascinating.
“And what do you do for fun, Abby Medford?” he asks.
“I don’t have time for fun, Lucas Ford.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it.”
“Bullshit.” He squints at me. “What’d you do last night when you had the night off?”
“I went on a date with this guy from school.”
“Well, that sounds fun.”
I shrug.
“Was the guy good in bed?”
“I didn’t sleep with him.”
“No?”
“No. He bored me to death so I cut our date short, right in the middle of making out with him. I wasn’t trying to be a tease. I was genuinely testing the waters to see if I could force myself to feel attraction to a guy like him, but I couldn’t.”
“A guy like him?”
Our eyes are locked. My heart is pounding in my ears. “A nice guy.”
“You don’t like nice guys.” It’s a statement, not a question.
I nod. “I’m trying to change that about myself. I know I should. But it’s easier said than done.”
Lucas purses his beautiful lips. “What’d you do after you left Mr. Nice Guy last night?”
“I went back to my apartment.”
“And?”
“And I put on ‘Shattered Hearts’ at full volume on my headphones so I wouldn’t hear the loud buzzing sound of my vibrator.”
His eyes ignite. “And?”
“And I watched your sex tape and used my vibrator and listened to your voice. And within thirty seconds I made myself come so freaking hard I left a puddle on my sheets.”
Unmistakable sexual desire washes over his features. His guitar is covering his crotch, but by the look on his face I’d bet any amount of money he’s hard as a rock right now.
“Did you watch the edited or unedited version of my sex tape?” he asks.
“Edited. I tried to watch the unedited version, but it had been taken down everywhere I searched for it.”
“Ah. My trusty lawyers, hard at work.”
“I thought you said the blonde leaked the video with your permission.”
“She did. But it wouldn’t have done her any good if the whole world thought I didn’t give a shit about it, now would it? For her to get the most mileage out of the video, it had to be ‘the sex tape Lucas Ford doesn’t want anyone to see.’” He shrugs. “We’ve all got our parts to play.”
“What mileage is she trying to get?”
“She’s got a hard-on to star in a reality TV show, so I said I’d help her as a favor.”
“Who is she?”
“My best friend’s girlfriend.”
“You had sex with your best friend’s girlfriend?”
“As a favor, like I said. She and my friend figured a leaked sex tape with Lucas Ford was the quickest way to get her a show.” He reaches for a box of cigarettes. “It was just sex. No biggie. My buddy would have done the same for me, I’m sure. And it certainly wasn’t traumatizing to me, as I’m sure you observed.”
I’ve been rendered speechless.
He puts a cigarette between his lips and lights it. “So do you have any ‘fangirl’ questions for me, Abby? You mentioned you might have a couple the other night. Lemme guess, you want to know the story behind ‘Shattered Hearts’?”
“Yeah, actually. I get the feeling there’s more to the lyrics than what’s on the surface.”
He takes a long drag off his cigarette and studies me. “I never tell anyone the full story behind that song. I tell a modified version. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy never gets girl back and he’s brokenhearted.” He takes another hit off his cigarette. “But you know what? Just because you were so damned honest with me the other night when you ripped me a new asshole, I’m going to tell you the whole truth in return.”
My heart leaps.
“Hang on. I got to get comfortable for this conversation.” He carefully sets his guitar down next to him and strips off his T-shirt, making my jaw hang open.
“I hate clothes,” he says by way of explanation. “Okay, so ‘Shattered Hearts.’” He takes a deep drag off his cigarette. “Do you remember my original drummer from my first album? Cole Larchmont?”
“No, I, uh…” I fight staring at his abs. I want to lick them. “When I, uh, went to your concert way back when, I don’t think I noticed anyone or anything onstage but you.”
He smiles. “Cole was my first drummer. He wound up quitting my band right after the first tour because he decided no amount of money could possibly be enough to make him want to be in the same room with me, let alone make music with me.”
My stomach seizes.
“Cole and I had been best friends our whole lives. Grew up together. I’m an only child and he was the brother I never had. When we were seventeen, about six months before I got my record deal, Cole fell in love with this pretty, sassy, girl-next-door type named Winona. Winnie. You remind me of her, actually.”
Goose bumps erupt on my skin. Did Lucas just indirectly call me pretty and sassy?
“Man, did Cole fall hard for Winnie,” Lucas continues. “He wanted to marry her and take her on tour with us one day if we became big rock stars and maybe even have a little baby with her and a white picket fence. Damn, was Cole in love with that pretty, sassy girl.”
There it is again! Lucas just indirectly called me pretty and sassy! I’m not making that up, am I?
“So, of course,” Lucas continues, “since Cole was like a brother to me, that should have made Winnie like a sister to me, too, right? But it didn’t.” He sucks on his cigarette. “Because, unfortunately, I was head over heels in love with Winnie, too.”
My breathing hitches. Ten seconds ago he said I remind him of Winnie!
“No one knew how I felt about Winnie,” he continues. “I acted like I didn’t give a shit about her and said dicky things to her all the time and never said a word about her to Cole. In fact, once or twice, Cole begged me to be nicer to her.” He looks at me pointedly. “I’m pretty sure his exact words were ‘Come on, Luke, treat her like an actual human once in a while, would you?’”
My heart stops.
He smiles at whatever he’s seeing on my face. “But I couldn’t be sweet to her. I couldn’t be anything but an asshole to her. Because she owned me. And I knew that wouldn’t end well for me. But after a while I couldn’t help myself. I was obsessed with her. Couldn’t eat or sleep. Thought about her night and day. Dreamed about her. As far as I was concerned, she was perfect in every way.”
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t function. A moment ago he said I remind him of Winnie, didn’t he? Was I imagining that?
“I thought about her when I fucked someone else,” Lucas continues. “I jacked off to fantasies about her. I was tortured. And you know what tortured me the most? The way Cole and Winnie were always macking down on each other around me. Like I wasn’t even there. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. So, of course, that just made me want her more. It made me covet her. But I stayed strong. I knew Cole would never forgive me if I laid a pinkie on his beloved Winnie, so I stayed away from her and treated her like shit as best I could to make her hate me… All the while fucking any girl who even remotely reminded me of her. And then…” He exhales a long, dejected breath. “One day, I lost my willpower. Cole was off doing something one night and Winnie and I were alone, watching a movie or whatever, and I just stopped giving a shit
about consequences. I wanted her. Nothing could stop me. Not even my loyalty to Cole.” He shakes his head mournfully. “So I made my move and Winnie and I wound up fucking like animals. It was unbelievable. Like, the world shook for me, you know? So we became addicted to each other and started fucking around behind Cole’s back every chance we got. Chickenshit thing to do, I know, but neither of us wanted to hurt him, and we thought we could get it out of our systems and then everything would return to normal. Honestly, we both really did love Cole and thought for sure a nice girl like Winnie was supposed to wind up with a nice guy like Cole, not an asshole like me.” He looks wistful for a long moment. “Well, needless to say, the story didn’t end the way we thought it would. In fact, it ended with three shattered hearts.”
I stare at him for a long moment. He’s stunning right now. Absolutely breathtaking. Truly, the most beautiful man I’ve ever beheld. “Do you still love her?” I ask softly.
“I don’t know if I ever did,” he says, surprising me. “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think it’s fifty-fifty I just wanted what I couldn’t have. Maybe my stupid seventeen-year-old brain confused envy for love? I dunno.”
“But you said the earth shook when you had sex with her,” I say.
“Oh, it did.” He sighs. “Shit, maybe I did love her. I sure thought so at the time. Maybe nowadays my memories of the way I felt are tainted by how much pain my actions wound up causing. Winnie didn’t start something with me. I made a move on her. I’m positive she never would have betrayed Cole if it weren’t for me.”
“Winnie was just as culpable as you were. It takes two to tango.”
Lucas shakes his head and stubs out his cigarette hastily. “Fuck, I don’t know. I’m the last guy to ask about love these days. You’ve got to be an actual human to feel love, right? And I haven’t been human for a good four or five years. I’m nothing but a dancing monkey.”
“Lucas,” I whisper, my heart panging for him.
Lucas slaps his hands on his thighs, signaling the emphatic end of this particular topic of conversation. “So you got anymore fangirl questions burning a hole in your pocket, Ass-kicker?”
I shake my head.
“Cool. So now I’ve got a question for you. Would you be willing to do me a huge favor?”
“Anything.”
“Would you watch my sex tape while I watch you? Ever since you told me you touched yourself after watching it and made yourself come, I haven’t been able to stop fantasizing about watching you do exactly that.”
I’m shocked and I’m sure my face shows it. I glance down at his crotch. He’s most definitely sporting wood behind his jeans. My face feels hot. I open my mouth and abruptly shut it.
Lucas shifts his position on the couch, obviously relieving pressure on his hard-on. “I want to show you the unedited version. The one where I come all over her tits.” He takes a deep, steadying breath. “I want to watch you touch yourself. I want to see your facial expressions as you watch me fuck her. I want to hear the noises you make as you get yourself off. And then I want to see you come so hard you wet my fucking sheets.”
Chapter Eleven
I lie on my back on Lucas’s fluffy white bed, fully clothed, my heart racing, awaiting instruction on how Mr. Rock Star wants this pervy party to go down. “Like this?” I ask.
“Perfect.” Lucas pulls a laptop out of his bag and sets it next to me on the bed. “I’m gonna sit over there.” He points to an armchair in the corner. “Okay with you?”
“Okay,” I breathe, ogling his beautiful, shirtless torso.
He opens a video file on his computer and leaves it paused on the screen. “Start it up when I say,” he says, settling into his chair in the corner. “I want you to pretend you’re alone in your bedroom. You have no idea I’m sitting here watching you.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve never masturbated in front of someone before. And now I’m going to do it for the first time for Lucas Ford? “Do you want me to undress?” I ask.
“No. I want you to touch yourself underneath your skirt and slide your fingers inside your undies. I want to wish I could see your pussy, but I can’t.”
Oh, Jesus, the bulge in his jeans is doing wonders to heighten my arousal. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Would you be comfortable with me jerking myself off while I watch?”
I nod. “It would turn me on.”
“Good.” He unbuttons his jeans but doesn’t pull out his dick. “Start the video, Abby.”
I take a deep breath and press play on the video and there he is onscreen. The one and only Lucas Ford. Naked, tattooed, and fully erect. Preening like a peacock. I focus on the real article in the corner and my brain instantly connects the dots between the naked dude with the massive hard-on I’m viewing on the laptop and the guy with the huge bulge behind his jeans in the corner.
“Don’t look at me,” Lucas whispers from the corner. “I’m peeking through your window.”
Holy shit. I shift my eyes back to the computer screen and slide my fingers underneath my skirt, into my panties, and straight into my warm wetness. “I’m already super wet,” I whisper.
Lucas lets out an audible breath in the corner.
Naked Lucas in the video has stopped preening and now he’s sliding his hand between the blonde’s legs. Fingering her. Hulking over her from behind. She cries out with pleasure. He grips her hair and buries his massive dick inside her.
Oh, yeah, my fingers are finding their rhythm now. I’m so damned wet, my body’s making a kind of sloshing sound as my fingers work their magic. “I’m so turned on,” I murmur softly.
I hear Lucas moan in the corner and can’t resist peeking over at him, despite his strict instructions to the contrary. He’s got his dick and balls pulled out of his unbuttoned jeans and he’s pumping his shaft with fervor, his face intense.
I shift my eyes back to the computer screen and the movement of my fingers intensifies.
Naked Lucas on the computer is now fucking the blonde with deep, ferocious thrusts while fondling her large breast with his free hand. I peek at the live version of Lucas in the corner again. Wow, he’s going to town on himself.
Lucas’s burning eyes in the corner lock with mine. He looks on the cusp of orgasm to me.
And I’m right there with him.
“Oh, God,” I moan, and Lucas’s face contorts with pleasure at the sound of my obvious arousal.
My eyes flicker to the computer screen again. And then back to Lucas pumping his shaft in the corner. I notice the sexy bead of wetness pooling at the tip of Lucas’s penis. I gaze at his balls. His abs. His blazing dark eyes and tousled hair. I’m going to lose it any second. My toes curl. I hold my breath.
“Oh, fuck,” Lucas blurts on the video.
“Watch the video,” Lucas commands from his chair in the corner. “I want to see your face when I come all over her tits.”
I return to the laptop as instructed, just in time to see Lucas push the blonde onto the bed, grab his dick, and shoot his milky-white load all over her massive breasts.
And…I’m gone. Every muscle connected to my clit seizes violently and then begins clenching and unclenching in warm, delicious waves. I spread my legs and arch my back, reveling in my delectable climax.
“Oh, fuck,” Lucas blurts in the corner, and a half second later he stiffens, leans back in his chair, and shoots a large load all over his bare, taut abs, emitting a long guttural groan as he does.
There’s stillness.
Finally, Lucas exhales a long sigh of deep satisfaction.
But I’m not satisfied. Not even close. In fact, my body feels like it’s just getting started.
Lucas exhales loudly from his seat in the corner and runs his hand through his tousled hair. “Holy fuck, you’re hot.”
But I’m not in the mood to talk. I’m in the mood to taste him. To ingest him. To conquer him.
Without consciously commanding my body to do it, I get up from the bed and w
alk toward him, sucking my wet fingers as I go. I kneel before him and voraciously lap up every drop of goodness off his abs like a stray kitten lapping milk from a saucer.
“Lucas,” I whisper, my fingers between my legs, my body aching painfully for him. “I want you so fucking bad.”
Chapter Twelve
When I’ve licked every drop of goodness off Lucas’s stomach, he grabs my hair and guides my face to within an inch of his. But before my lips meet their target, Lucas stops and holds me firm, his chest heaving, our eyes locked.
“Assassin,” he whispers, his eyes burning.
I’m panting. Wet and swollen. Aching. Now that the drug of him has infiltrated my blood stream, I want more. I want all of him.
His hand still buried in my hair, Lucas beams an amused smile at me that tells me he can see right through me. He knows what I am.
Lucas stands, guiding me up by my hair as he goes. When we’re both standing, our bodies mere inches apart, he grips my hair extra hard and leans forward. I close my eyes, anticipating the thrill of finally getting to feel his luscious lips on mine, but much to my disappointment, he doesn’t kiss me. He releases his brutal grip on me and begins stroking my hair from root to end. “I’ve got a proposition for you, dirty girl,” he whispers, still stroking my hair. “Something I want you to do for me.”
I open my eyes, quivering with desire, the taste of him still on my tongue. Whatever self-respect I managed to tap into the other night when I told him off for acting like an asshole is long gone now. I want him however I can get him. Even if I have to grovel.
Lucas smiles like he’s deeply amused by something he sees in my face. “Come have a drink with me in the other room and I’ll explain what I want from you.” He releases me and motions politely toward the living room as if he’s just asked me to join him for a spot of tea and crumpets.
I take a deep breath and walk on wobbly legs into the sitting area, my entire body trembling.
“Have a seat,” he says, heading toward the bar on the other side of the room.
I sit on the couch.
