Maybe I could get a part-time job.
I shook my head as I looked through the cupboards for something to eat.
A job will cut into my study time and then it will take longer to finish school.
Giving up on finding anything to eat, I went to my room and closed the door, then plopped onto the bed. I sorted through the mail to see if anything interesting had come, but finding nothing for me, I set the few pieces of mail on my desk and lay down.
I thought about my day, smiling despite myself. I'd been so nervous to start classes that I'd hardly slept the night before. Things had gone better than I’d expected—I’d even met a few people. Though I knew I should socialize more, it wasn't something that came naturally to me.
I need to get out of my comfort zone, right, Dad?
I smiled at the memory of my father's advice. He’d told me many times that I needed to force myself to meet people, to join clubs, to socialize. He hadn't understood that I preferred to stay in my room and read a good book. That was a lot more fun for me than any party.
Excited voices from the living room seeped under my door, pulling me from my reverie. It sounded like my roommates, Michelle and Nicole. I rolled off the bed and went to see what was going on.
“I hope he's there,” Nicole said. “He said he might go.”
They turned as I entered the room. “What about you, Lily? Are you going Friday night?”
“Where?” I remembered my earlier annoyance with my missing snack and wondered if I should mention it.
“The dance, of course,” Michelle said. “You know, the beginning of the school year dance. Maybe you'll meet some cute guys.”
Trevor’s face flashed into my mind. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t decided.”
“You can come with us if you want,” Michelle offered.
Warmed by their friendliness, I smiled. Nicole and Michelle had known each other before coming to the University and I couldn't help but feel a little left out of things when they were around. “Thank you. I'll let you know.”
When the two girls began talking about what they were going to wear to the dance, I went back into my room to begin reading my assignments. I closed the door and tried to ignore the loneliness that washed over me. Even though they’d invited me to go with them, I didn’t feel like I fit in with their group. They were all so outgoing and loved to socialize.
So unlike me.
I wondered if I would ever find someone I would feel completely comfortable with.
Someone who would love me exactly as I am.
Chapter Three
Before I knew it, Friday afternoon arrived and I had to make a decision about the dance. School had only begun that week, but I was already beginning to feel buried by all the work I had to do. Having high expectations of myself, I planned to spend a lot of time mastering the material being taught.
I hadn't seen Trevor on campus and wondered if I ever would. My Sociology class had only met twice so far, and when Trevor hadn’t shown up for the second class, I’d almost felt relieved—I could forget I'd ever met him. But in reality I knew I wouldn't forget, not after the strong magnetism I'd felt towards him.
Maybe I should go to the dance—just to see if he shows up. I can always come home if he's not there.
After doing a little digging, I found some clothes that made me feel confident and set them on the bed to put on after I’d eaten.
Excited now about going, I wasn't very hungry—my roommates had gone out to dinner with their friends and had left before I’d decided I was going. I fixed some pasta and a small green salad before taking a shower and pulling my long dark hair into a French twist.
Not wanting to be one of the first people at the dance, I waited until it had been going for nearly an hour before I left my apartment to walk to campus. There were a few other people out too, although no one I knew.
A short time later I entered the large room where couples swayed to the music. Slowly walking around the room, I watched the dancing couples, then stopped and leaned against a wall. Completely alone, I felt very self-conscious.
It was a mistake to come.
I turned to leave, but a large group of students walked by and I had to wait until they passed before I could make my way to the exit. Then someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to see Alyssa.
“Hey,” I said as my anxiety faded.
“Hi there, Lily.” She smiled. “I’ve been thinking about you. I’d hoped you’d be here. Do you have a date?”
I shook my head. “What about you?”
“Nope. But who wants to be tied down at one of these, right?”
I returned her smile. “I guess so, but I'm not planning on staying long. I just wanted to check it out.”
“Okay.” Alyssa took me by the arm. “Come with me. I have some friends you might like to meet.”
I allowed myself to be led to a small group of people sitting at a table. Alyssa introduced me and I tried to remember the names thrown my way. Everyone seemed very friendly and I felt better about coming.
Someone pulled a chair out for me and I found myself sitting next to a man I remembered being introduced as Justin. He smiled at me as I sat beside him.
“Hi, Lily. I’m Justin. Where are you from?” He leaned toward me as he spoke.
“Here in Nevada. In Lovelock.” I noticed his thick black hair and green eyes. “What about you? Where are you from?”
“Just here in Reno.”
Though I noticed how cute he looked when he smiled, I didn't experience the same intense attraction I'd had when I'd met Trevor. This realization brought relief. During the years I’d cared for my father I hadn’t had much opportunity to date, and now the idea of having to figure out relationships was a bit overwhelming.
“Tell me about yourself, Lily,” Justin said.
Suddenly self-conscious, I tried to steer the conversation away from myself. “I’m not that interesting. Tell me about you, Justin. What are you majoring in?”
“Computer science.”
Genuinely pleased, I smiled. “Really? My major is Information Systems.”
Justin grinned. “Cool. Maybe we'll have some classes together.”
“I doubt it. I have a long way to go yet. You’re probably way ahead of me.”
He picked up a drink and took a sip. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Not right now, thanks.”
“You’re right though. I graduate next spring. But if you need help in any of your classes, I’m your man.” He grabbed my arm and stood. “Come on. Let's dance.”
Reluctantly I stood and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor.
I'm getting out of my comfort zone.
It was a fast song and I found myself having a good time. Then the song ended and I began to walk off the floor.
Justin took hold of my arm again. “Wait, Lily. How about one more?”
“Sure, why not?” Then a slow song began.
Justin pulled me into his arms and I swayed with him to the music, feeling slightly uncomfortable at being so close to him.
What's wrong with me? Why can't I just enjoy myself?
Even though a lot of women my age were experts at dating, I felt like a novice when it came to men. As Justin moved me around the dance floor I tried to relax and have a good time and found that the more I pretended to have fun, the more fun I actually had.
When the song ended, Justin led me back to the table, which was nearly empty. “Wait here. I'll get you something to drink.”
Alyssa smiled at me as I sat across from her. “I told you I had some friends you'd like to meet.”
My face flushed at the implied comment.
“Oh, you’re blushing,” Alyssa said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
I watched Justin as he walked through the crowd, then I turned back to Alyssa. “You didn't embarrass me. It's just hot on the dance floor.”
“Well, anyway, Justin’s a really nice guy. And I think he like
s you.”
I shook my head. “He just barely met me. He doesn't know anything about me.”
“So? He’s attracted to you. That’s the first step.” Alyssa glanced at the people dancing. “You should have seen his face when you guys were slow dancing. I’ve known Justin for a while. He doesn’t get a stupid grin on his face like that too often.”
I was flattered by Alyssa's comments, but I didn't really believe her. “I'm nothing special. Why would he be interested in me?”
“Listen to yourself. Do you ever look in the mirror?”
Self-conscious at the compliment, I tried to make a joke of it. “Of course I look in the mirror. How else am I going to get ready in the morning?”
Alyssa laughed. “Anyway, my point is you're a beautiful girl and guys are going to take notice. Surely you must be aware of that.”
“I don’t know. I never really paid much attention to that kind of thing. I’ve usually been too busy with other things.” I frowned. “Who has time to worry about how they look?”
“Plenty of people.”
Justin set a drink in front of me. “I hope you like Coke.”
I nodded, acutely aware of Justin's attention. “Thank you.” As I picked up my glass to take a drink, I heard my name, and when I turned to see who was speaking, I was shocked to see Trevor.
“Hi, Lily,” he said with a smile. “Will you dance with me?”
I glanced at Justin, who was looking at the table, then back at Trevor. “Okay.”
The song was just ending and the new one was a slow one.
Great. That's twice now.
When Trevor pulled me close, my heart began to pound, and as the scent of his cologne filled my senses, my heart quickened even more.
He pulled back slightly to look at me. “I'm sorry I didn’t make it to class. Something came up and I had to leave.”
“Oh,” I said. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah.” He pulled me closer and whispered against my ear. “Now it is.”
My breath caught in my throat. I didn't know what to say. Things were moving too fast tonight. Two men showing me so much attention was more than I was used to. I almost wished I hadn't come.
Don't be stupid. You're in the real world now. Not in that tiny town you used to live in.
The song ended much too soon and Trevor led me back to my table. “I'll see you on Monday.” And he was gone.
“Who was that?” Alyssa asked. “He's cute.”
“Where's Justin?” I replied.
“I don't know,” she said. “Now answer my question.”
“His name's Trevor. I met him Monday and he's in one of my classes.” I drank my soda, suddenly thirsty.
“Well, he's really cute.”
“What about you, Alyssa? Who do you like?”
She shook her head. “I haven't found anyone that interesting yet. I prefer to have lots of friends to a special boyfriend.”
I considered her comment. “That sounds like a good idea.”
Justin appeared next to the table. “Alyssa, how about a dance?”
I watched the two of them walk onto the dance floor and smiled as I watched them dance.
They’re both really nice, and everyone is so friendly.
I relaxed as I sat alone, my back to the table. When I turned to grab my soda, I saw a folded piece of paper next to my drink. I picked it up, wondering where it came from, then glanced around to see if I could tell who’d put it there. Everyone was busy and no one seemed to be looking my way.
I unfolded the note and read it silently. Stay away from him.
What in the world?
I reread the message.
What is this supposed to mean? Is it meant for me?
My gaze darted around the room as I tried to figure out who’d put it there.
Unnerved now, and not having such a good time, I stuffed the note into my purse and gulped down the rest of my drink, then decided I wanted to go home.
Justin and Alyssa finished dancing and came back to the table.
I stood. “It was nice meeting you, Justin.”
“Are you leaving already?” Alyssa asked. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”
I didn’t know either one of them well and felt weird about showing them the note. I thought they might think I’d made it up to get attention or something. “I'm fine. I'll see you Monday?”
“Would you like me to take you home, Lily?” Justin asked.
Normally I would have preferred to just go home on my own, but the note had spooked me and I was glad to have an escort. “Yes. That would be great.”
We walked out to his car and he opened the passenger door for me. “Where do you live?”
I told him and we were there in only a few minutes. He climbed out and opened the door for me.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said as I stepped out.
“Maybe I'll see you at school,” he said.
I looked into his green eyes as a small shiver of attraction coursed through me. “Yeah.”
“It was nice meeting you,” he said.
“Yes, I enjoyed meeting you too.” Reluctantly, I turned toward my apartment, then turned back. “Bye, Justin.”
“Bye, Lily.”
With a smile, I walked into the stairwell and hurried up the stairs. Once in my room, I peeked out the blinds and saw Justin getting into his car.
No one else was home yet and I was pleased to have the solitude. Although still disturbed by the note, I tried to push it to the back of my mind, wondering if it was even meant for me. I’d barely met Justin and had only talked to Trevor twice, so I didn’t see how anyone could believe there was something between me and either one of them.
Forcing thoughts of the note aside, I got ready for bed and analyzed my feelings after the night’s events.
Here I am, trying to concentrate on getting my education, and now I'm becoming attracted to two men.
Then I corrected myself.
No, not Justin. He's cute and everything, but I didn't really feel the pull I felt with Trevor.
The inner joy of a new crush swept over me, but just before I drifted off, the strange note pushed its way into my thoughts, and the happiness I'd felt moments before melted away as the words rang through my head.
Stay away from him.
Chapter Four
The next morning was Saturday and I slept late, then I spent a good chunk of the day finishing my assignments. When I was done, I indulged myself in reading a new romance novel I’d picked up from the library. As I read about the hero and heroine and their budding relationship, my mind went to Trevor and Justin. They were both good-looking, but I had a hard time believing either one was really interested in me.
In high school I hadn’t gone on very many dates. I didn’t know if it was because I was shy, or because the boys didn’t find me attractive, but I was used to sitting home on the weekends. And then the last two years I'd been completely occupied with taking care of Dad, and had zero social life.
Comfortable in my own company, it didn’t bother me to have no social life, although I couldn’t help but fantasize about being swept off my feet like one of the heroines in the romance novels I loved to read.
I set the book down, then rested my head against the back of the chair and closed my eyes. In my mind I re-experienced the slow dances from the night before. The scent of Trevor’s cologne seemed to fill my nostrils, making my heart pound. I imagined his arms around me and heard him whisper in my ear, then I pictured his face.
Could he be my Prince Charming?
Then I thought about Justin. I had to admit that I found his dark hair and green eyes alluring, and I'd thoroughly enjoyed his attention—plus Alyssa had told me she thought he liked me. But when I imagined his arms around me, it felt more like that of a big brother. Although I didn’t have a brother—or a sister for that matter—I hadn’t feel the same spark with Justin that I’d felt with Trevor.
Then I remembered why I'd left so a
bruptly. I grabbed my purse and dug around until I found the note. When I read it again, anxiety stabbed at my insides.
Is the note referring to Justin? That's who I spent the most time with. Why would anyone want me to stay away from him? I don’t even know if I like him that way. And I spent less than five minutes with Trevor.
I shook my head.
It must be some kind of misunderstanding.
Determined to put the note out of my mind, I chose to believe it was some kind of mix-up.
On Monday morning as I walked toward my Sociology class and thought about seeing Trevor, a flock of butterflies bumped against my insides. And when I remembered what he’d said as he’d pulled me close at the dance, the butterflies beat their wings harder against my ribs.
Will he be here today? Or will something 'come up' again?
I was a few minutes early, so I sat on the floor, leaned against the wall, and watched the other students walk past. After pulling out my textbook, I reviewed what I'd read over the weekend, but after only a couple of minutes I sensed someone standing near me. I looked up to see who it was.
Trevor.
He was looking in another direction—apparently not noticing my head bent over my textbook.
Should I say something?
Panic pooled in my gut.
What if he saw me and just didn't want to say anything?
I mentally shook myself.
Get a grip. Speak up.
“Hi, Trevor,” I said softly.
He turned in my direction. When he saw me, his face lit up and he immediately sat beside me. “Hey, Lily. How's it going? Are you ready for class?”
“Of course.” My confidence grew at his positive response. “What about you? Did you do any of your reading yet?”
He shook his head as he smiled. “I wasn't here, remember? I didn't get the assignment.”
I felt dumb for not thinking of that. “You could've gone ahead and read the first chapter.”
“Yeah, right.” His smile faded. “I have better things to do.” He leaned closer to me, making my pulse race. “I'll bet you're a good student though. Do you study every night?”
I nodded, trying to ignore the erratic beating of my heart.
Lily's Story: The Complete Saga Page 2
