Chapter Fourteen
I stared at my tear-streaked face in the bathroom mirror.
The one person I thought I could count on has failed me.
An image of Trevor’s face as he refused to tell me what he knew filled my mind, and I squeezed my eyes closed, forcing down the disappointment that threatened to overwhelm me. I took several deep breaths until I’d gotten my emotions under control, then I splashed cold water on my face, toweled my skin dry, and went into the kitchen to take two aspirin.
Maybe Alyssa's right. Maybe Trevor’s wrong for me.
That thought was immediately replaced by another.
No. I love him. And he loves me. He'll tell me the truth if I give him time.
I stared at the kitchen cabinets as a question pushed its way into my brain.
How much time will he need?
The headache that had bloomed inside my skull throbbed, and I swallowed two aspirin and gulped down the glass of water. Then, not wanting to think about Trevor any longer, I went into my bedroom, pulled out one of my textbooks, and began a reading assignment. Ten minutes later I’d reread the same paragraph over and over without taking in a word. I gave up and put the book back on my desk.
Maybe I should go online and look for a new place to live.
A few moments later I’d pulled up the school’s website and navigated to the housing section. It didn’t take long to find some places that seemed promising. I called the numbers listed in the ads and arranged to look at two of them right away.
The idea of having my own place excited me and I left the apartment to check them out.
The first one was in a basement and wasn't too bad, except that I would have to share the kitchen with the other tenants. I didn't like that idea—that was part of the problem I was having already.
The second unit held more promise. It was also in a basement, but it was a one bedroom apartment with its own kitchen. It was a walkout basement, so I would have my own entrance. And it came furnished.
“I like it,” I told the woman showing me the place.
“I've had several people express an interest,” the woman said as she adjusted one of the curlers in her hair. “But it's available now and they can't move in for a couple more weeks. What about you?”
“I can move in right away.” I hoped that would give me an edge. I'd already paid rent through the end of the month, and I would have to find someone to take over my rental contract, but it was worth the loss of money to get this place. It seemed perfect.
“Okay. Just fill out this application and I'll give you a call when I decide.”
“Can I fill it out now?” I didn’t want to let the place get away.
The woman studied my face. “Are you a student?”
“Yes, I am. And I promise, I'm very responsible.”
The woman smiled for the first time. “Okay, then. Go ahead and fill it out.”
I quickly filled in the information before handing it back to the woman. “When do you think you'll know if I'm chosen?”
“I'm losing money on it every day it's empty. I'll call by tomorrow.”
“Great!” I said, trying to think positively. “I have classes in the morning, but you can leave a message on my cell phone.”
The woman smiled. “I'll let you know.”
I thanked her before driving home.
When I walked into the apartment and found Michelle and Nicole arguing about whose turn it was to clean the bathroom, I became even more excited at the idea of having my own place.
“Hey, guys?” I started.
They looked at me in surprise, apparently not hearing me come in. “Yeah?” Nicole said.
“I just wanted to let you know I'm moving out.”
That got their attention. “How come?” Michelle asked. “Are you and Trevor getting married or something?”
The mention of Trevor’s name brought a sharp sting to my heart. “No, I’ve just decided to get my own place. No offense, but I prefer living on my own.”
“Okay. Have you found another place yet?”
“Possibly. I'll find out tomorrow. My share of the rent's paid up till the end of the month. Do you know of anyone who could take over my contract?”
Michelle paused. “I might know someone. I’ll check with her and let you know.”
I smiled. “Great.” Then I went to my room for another attempt at my reading assignment. This time I was able to concentrate.
“The place is yours if you want it,” the landlady of the basement apartment said in the message she left on my phone the next day.
Elated, I deleted her message, then listened to the next one.
“Lily,” Trevor said. “I need to talk to you. When can we get together?”
With the two messages one after the other, and still upset with him for his refusal to tell me about the picture a stranger had left in my dresser, a wicked thought came to me.
What would he do if I moved and didn't tell him where I went?
The idea tantalized me. I had so few belongings, it would only take an hour to pack up and move it all to my new place.
As I packed my clothes into my suitcase, and the rest of my things into a couple of boxes, I thought about Trevor and his refusal to tell me about the picture.
How dare he compromise my safety by not telling me who was in the picture? Someone broke into my home and violated my privacy. He needs to learn a lesson in how it feels to be betrayed by someone he thought he trusted.
I shoved the last of my things into the box.
I won't tell him where I am—just for a few days. It's Thursday and we won't have class until Monday, so he probably won't run into me until then.
The idea gave me grim satisfaction.
That will teach him to value me.
As I pictured his face and imagined how he might feel in not knowing where I'd gone, guilt lanced through me. But I snuffed it out by remembering how I’d felt when I’d discovered someone had been in my room—a stranger who clearly knew Trevor.
With a final look around my room, I mentally said good-bye, then I lugged my belongings to my car and drove to my new place—my very own place.
The woman had said she would leave the key under the doormat and come by later to collect the first month's rent and have me sign the paperwork.
Carrying my suitcase, I walked across the stone steps to my front door where I found the key under the mat as promised. It didn’t take long to bring in all of my things, and once I’d finished, I securely shut the door behind me and locked it, feeling safe in my new place knowing I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone else to keep things the way I wanted them.
My home would stay the way I desired.
With a smile on my face, I pulled the string next to the window, collapsing the blinds upwards and letting the sun shine in. Because it was a walkout basement, the front window was full-sized. A large tree took up most of the front yard, and even though the leaves were mostly gone, it was still lovely.
With my suitcase in hand, I went into my bedroom and set my sole piece of luggage on the bed, then glanced at the old, scratched-up dresser and night stand, then looked inside the closet.
Decent enough storage space. I smiled. And it’s all mine.
With the house built on a slope, the only window in the bedroom had a deep window well that didn’t let in much light. Regardless, the room was pleasant enough, and I decided I would brighten up the space by purchasing matching bedding and curtains.
I went into the living room and took a closer look around. A small desk sat along one wall, an ugly but comfortable couch was along another, and an old, but tiny, television rested on a cart. I didn't watch much TV, so I wasn't concerned about the poor TV.
A compact side table with a lamp was positioned beside the couch. I walked over to the lamp and turned it on.
Not very bright. I'll have to get a higher wattage bulb.
I took my notepad and pen out of my backpack and started to list the things I ne
eded to buy. Though it would take some of my precious reserves to get the items I wanted, I was determined to make the place how I liked it. To make it my home.
It was my only home.
As I stood in the middle of the room, I thought about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and knew I'd be spending it here. I had nowhere else to go, and I had absolutely no family to spend it with. I was completely on my own. The thought made me inexplicably sad.
There was Dad’s house in Lovelock, but without him there, it was just a building. Eventually I would sell it, but I wasn’t ready to do that yet.
I was so grateful to my father for teaching me how to take care of myself, even though I’d had to learn those skills at an early age. While still in high school, I'd done all I could to make his life easier—he’d always come home from work so tired. At first I'd thought it wasn't fair that I had to do it all, but eventually I'd come to appreciate my independence. And then, once my father had become unable to take care of himself, my skills had been critical.
Pushing the sad thoughts aside, I went into the kitchen to see what I could find. The sink was chipped in a couple of places, and the oven needed to be cleaned, but there was plenty of counter space. I opened the cupboards, but they were completely empty. The dishes in the apartment I'd shared had all belonged to Michelle and Nicole—all of the things from my father's house were still in Lovelock.
There was a phone jack in the kitchen but no phone. Since I had my cell phone, there was no reason to get a land line, although I would need to get an Internet connection set up. As I was adding items to my list, a knock sounded at the door. Startled, I wondered who it could be until I remembered that the landlady was supposed to come by.
I hurried to the door and looked out the peephole. It was the woman from the day before. Maureen was her name, I recalled. I opened the door for her.
“I see you got my message,” Maureen said, dressed in sweats, but no curlers in her hair this time.
“Yes, please come in.” Maureen stepped through the door and I shut it behind her.
“I have the lease for you to sign.” She held out a piece of paper.
I read it over, signed it, then wrote a check for the deposit and first month’s rent.
“Thank you, Lily.” Maureen smiled warmly. “If you have any trouble, my number’s on your copy of the lease agreement. The phone line’s working, but if you want a land line you’ll need to put it in your name. The rest of the utilities are included in the rent.
“Okay. I was just going to use my cell phone, but that’s good to know. Thank you.”
Maureen left a moment later, and contentment in having my own place cascaded over me.
Checking to make sure the refrigerator was plugged in, I jotted down a few more things I needed to buy, then grabbed my purse and headed out the door, locking it behind me, secure in the knowledge that when I returned everything would be as I'd left it.
Chapter Fifteen
At the nearby super store I walked up and down the aisles looking for just the right things. Though I knew this would be an expensive shopping trip, I was prepared to spend the money necessary to make my place a real home.
After finding a comforter and decorative pillows for my bed, I picked out a slip cover for the couch, then filled my grocery cart with food for my empty kitchen. The rows of kitchen implements reminded me that I needed to drive to Lovelock very soon to collect the dishes, pots, and other kitchen items that I’d stored there before moving to Reno.
With my trunk full, I headed home, excited to get things organized in my new place. As I neared my apartment, a car similar to Trevor’s passed me, forcing my thoughts to him. I’d been so busy getting my new place ready that I’d managed to keep him out of my head. But now, guilt at not telling him I'd moved stabbed at my heart, and I knew I would be telling him my whereabouts sooner than I'd planned.
By the time I’d finished my errands and gotten home, the sun had set, but I brought everything inside, then settled on the couch to catch my breath. I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone—okay, maybe I just hadn’t wanted to talk to Trevor—so I’d left my cell phone off all day. But now, as I turned it on, I found several texts from Trevor.
For the briefest moment I considered calling him to tell him I'd moved, but then I decided to make him wait.
He probably doesn't even realize I'm gone. He wouldn't know unless Michelle or Nicole told him.
With lingering anger for the way he’d behaved, I read his texts. They were all the same—telling me he wanted to talk to me. I deleted them without replying, then I called Michelle and let her know I’d moved out. When she told me she’d found someone to take over my contract, I smiled, glad I had one less issue to deal with.
Needing something productive to do, I put my new comforter and decorative pillows on the bed, then stood back and admired the way my room was shaping up.
It didn't take long to unpack my clothing—I didn't have much—but when I was done I spread my toiletries around the bathroom, thrilled not to have to share space anymore. It seemed luxurious to have all the storage to myself.
Too tired to do any more that night, I got ready for bed, then read in bed for a while before finally turning off the light on the night stand and going to sleep.
The next day, Friday, I only had one class and was able to spend the balance of the day making my apartment just right.
The slipcover went on the couch, and the desk was stocked with my school supplies. I took out my math book, prepared to begin working on my latest assignment, but before I’d even started on the first problem, my mind filled with thoughts of Trevor. My anger at him had seeped away, and I realized I wanted to share my joy in my new place with him. Even if his response to the picture I’d found in my dresser had upset me, I wasn't one to hold a grudge.
I called his phone, but got his voice mail. “It's Lily. I wanted to let you know that I moved to a new place. My own place. Give me a call if you want.” I ended the call, anxious now for him to call me back.
With no idea how long it would be until he called back, I set to work on my math assignment. When my cell phone rang, I was nearly done, and I dropped my pencil before grabbing my phone.
“Lily,” Trevor said, his voice intense. “I was worried sick. I went by your apartment last night and found out you'd moved. They didn't know where you'd gone and I was afraid you weren't going to tell me.”
Hearing the tension in his voice, I felt dreadful for not calling him sooner. If the situation had been reversed, I would have been beside myself if he’d moved and hadn’t told me where he’d gone. “I'm sorry, Trevor. I really am. Please forgive me.”
“Where are you? Can I come see you?”
“Of course you can.” I gave him my address and he promised he'd be there shortly.
Expecting him any minute, I hurried into the bathroom to make sure I looked presentable. The doorbell rang just as I was coming out of the bathroom.
With a wide smile on my face, I flung open the front door.
Trevor stormed inside, then turned to me with a frown. “How could you do that to me? I was so worried about you.”
My smile faded as I closed the door.
He stepped close to me, then dragged me against him. “I didn’t know what had happened to you. I haven’t even eaten since last night.” He pulled back, gazed into my eyes, and with a soft voice, said, “I love you. Don't you know that?”
The intensity of his emotions shocked me. “I'm sorry, Trevor. I guess I needed a little space. You know, time to myself.”
“That was selfish of you.”
Heat rushed to my face. “I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t think—”
“No, you didn’t,” he cut in. “That’s the problem. You only thought of yourself.”
Is that true? Was I only thinking of myself?
I looked away from him, my shoulders hunched.
He glanced around the room. “This place is pretty nice.” He paused. “Lily?”
I lifted my gaze to meet his.
His eyes narrowed. “How long were you thinking about moving?”
This was a question I could answer without feeling guilty. “Before Wednesday it had only been a vague wish.” I hesitated. “That's when I found that strange picture in my bedroom. The one you apparently know nothing about.” I paused to see how he would react, but he didn’t. “After that, and your refusal to tell me anything about it, I knew I needed to get out, to make a change. So here I am.”
“That's a pretty big change.”
Talking about the picture reminded me why I’d moved in the first place, and the shame I’d initially felt at his accusations of selfishness evaporated. With a tone of self-satisfaction, I said, “I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anyone. Least of all to you.”
His nostrils flared. “You're right. You don't have to answer to me. And I don't have to answer to you either. But do you really want it that way? I thought we loved each other.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “At least, I love you.”
Embarrassed by my childish attitude, I wrapped my arms around his waist and lay my head against his shoulder. “I do love you, Trevor. I guess I just needed to assert my independence.”
He pulled away, lifted my chin, and after gazing into my eyes, he pressed his lips to mine.
Love for him surged through me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. A moment later he broke our kiss and smiled at me, then took my hand and led me to the couch. With extreme gentleness, he pressed my shoulders so that I would sit, then he knelt in front of me, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small velvet box.
Stunned, I watched his face as he opened the box and held it out to me.
“Lily, will you give me the great pleasure of becoming my wife?”
Chapter Sixteen
I stared at the gorgeous diamond ring nestled on the bed of black velvet, then looked into Trevor’s handsome face. Earnestness shone from his vivid blue eyes. I so wanted to make him happy, but his proposal was completely unexpected. He knelt in front of me, waiting for an answer, and I tried to form one. “Trevor,” I whispered. Then I spoke louder. “I don’t know what to say.”
Lily's Story: The Complete Saga Page 7
