My entire body was at attention, only not to what he was trying to teach me. “Yes.” My voice came out in a whisper and I opened my eyes as I tried to focus on his lesson.
“You need to use the trowel like this.” His voice was deep and soft next to my ear, and his breath was warm and smelled of mint. His hand guided mine until the grooves were right.
I turned my head toward his until our lips were nearly touching, but I could only see him with my peripheral vision. “Thank you,” I murmured. I saw his lips turn up into a smile and I longed for him to kiss me.
He pulled back slightly. “Now place the tile in the next open space.”
Trying to be a good student, I did as instructed, and wiggled the tile back and forth like I’d seen him do. “How’s that?” I asked, looking for praise.
“You did a good job.”
I smiled, proud of myself, but also wishing I needed his direct assistance again.
“Now, place the spacers around the edges, and make sure the tile is pressed up tight to the one next to it.”
I want to be pressed up tight to you. I felt myself heat at the thought, and was glad he couldn’t see my face. When I was done, I turned slightly to see his reaction.
He examined my work, then looked directly at me and smiled. “Good job. Now let’s see you do one all by yourself.”
Feeling more confident, I picked up a tile, then saw Natalie crawling toward us. “Uh oh. The little helper’s coming.” I looked at Marcus and he looked at his hands, which had thin set in places.
He laughed. “I’ll lure her away from you.”
“Okay.” I watched as he walked across the sheet we’d laid out earlier to keep thin set from getting on the new carpet, and knelt on the floor.
“Come here, Natalie.”
She gazed at him, then looked at me, then at him. Finally she turned in his direction and started crawling.
I don’t blame you, I thought, smiling.
Marcus stood and disappeared down the hall, and Natalie crawled after him. A few minutes later he reappeared, his hands clean, and Natalie held against his chest. “How’d you do?” he asked as he walked over to where I knelt.
“Better this time.” I held up the tile for his approval. “Is that right?”
He nodded. “Looks good to me. Place it, and then use the level to make sure the tiles are even.”
“Okay.” As I set the tile in place, I fervently wished he was kneeling behind me. I’d enjoyed his closeness tremendously. I put the level across the two tiles and smiled at him. “I think it’s level.”
“Awesome.”
I grinned. “I can finish this row, if you want.”
“It’s your house, Lily. You should do it.”
My smile grew. He was right. This was my house. He kept Natalie entertained while I finished that row. I stopped when I got to a place that needed a cut tile. Standing, I brushed off my knees and admired what I’d completed. A sense of accomplishment flooded me.
We continued working, and between the two of us we kept Natalie occupied until it was time for her afternoon nap. After I put her down, I came back into the kitchen to see the progress Marcus was making. Though I enjoyed doing some of the tile work myself, I was happy to let him help, as after a while my back and knees became sore.
“Wow. Just a few left,” I said.
“Yep. And we’re almost out of thin set, but I think we’ll have just enough.”
A short time later he held the final tile in his hands. He looked at me. “Do you want to do the honors?”
“Sure.” He stood and handed the buttered tile to me. I took it from him and carefully placed it in the only space left, seated it, then turned to him with a smile.
“Perfect, Lily.” His eyes gleamed with an unspoken message, and I felt a warm glow building inside me. “Just wait until we add the grout,” he added. “Then it will look finished.” He held his hands up. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”
“Okay.” I watched him carry the bucket to the backyard, then begin washing it, along with the trowel. His movements were graceful and sure, and when I recalled the feel of his body next to mine, his hands helping mine to butter the tile, I wondered when I would feel that closeness with him again.
I couldn’t be sure if he’d heard me say I love you. If he had, why hadn’t he said anything in response? Unless he was trying to think of a way to let me down gently. Then I thought about my feeling just a moment before, when he’d said Perfect, Lily. Was I imagining the feeling I thought I’d gotten from him? Did I so desperately want him to love me that I was conjuring up what wasn’t really there? A small frown played at the corners of my mouth, but I battled it back, and forced it into a smile as he came back into the house.
“You’ll want to stay off of the tile at least until morning,” he said. “To make sure they’re cemented into place.”
“Okay.”
He grinned. “That means you can’t use your kitchen, which means I’ll need to take you and Natalie to dinner tonight.”
I shook my head, worried about having to face him across a table after embarrassing myself with those three little words. “You’ve done so much for us already.”
One side of his mouth quirked up. “Are you turning me down?”
“Well, no. I guess not. I just don’t want to take advantage of your generosity.” Or have to listen to you tell me how it will never work between us—how we’re meant to only ever be friends.
He laughed. “If I didn’t want to take you to dinner, Lily, I wouldn’t have offered.”
Obviously I would have to face my future, whether I was ready to or not. “Okay.”
“Good. I’m going to go home and get cleaned up, and I’ll come back in a couple of hours to pick you guys up, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He left a few minutes later, and I headed to my bathroom to get ready. Even if he was going to break my heart one more time, I wanted to look my best. By the time he came back, I’d put on a dress that made me feel pretty and confident, although in reality my confidence was flagging.
“You look beautiful, Lily,” he said, his green eyes sparkling with obvious appreciation.
His sincere compliment helped my confidence grow, and I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Let’s take your car,” he said. “If that’s okay.”
“Sure.”
He picked Natalie up from where she was crawling on the floor, and carried her out to my car, securing her in her car seat, then he opened the passenger door for me and helped me in. He drove to the restaurant, and after a short wait we were seated in a booth, with Natalie in a high chair.
“Today was very productive,” I said, after ordering my food, trying to keep the conversation away from our relationship, not yet ready to hear the dreaded word—friend.
“Yeah. It was hard work, but it turned out great.”
After our food came, I gave Natalie a piece of my roll and she kept herself busy chewing on that.
“How’s your food?” Marcus asked.
“Delicious. Thanks for taking me here.”
We chatted about what was left to do on my house, and talked about when we would work on each step, then Marcus looked at me, his expression unreadable. My stomach began to churn and I knew the moment I’d been dreading had arrived.
He rested his forearms on the table and leaned forward, gazing at me a moment. “I heard what you said today.”
There was no question what he was talking about, and my mouth fell open to have my admission pointed out so boldly. Then I pressed my lips together, and my face went crimson.
His smile grew. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed, Lily.”
I stared at him in silence, mortified that he had, in fact, heard me. He’d known how I felt for all these hours, but hadn’t said anything until now. And now he was going to tell me that he was sorry, but if I wanted to remain friends, I would need to scale back my feelings. What if I couldn’t do that? Would he want to cut
back on the time he spent with me so as not to encourage me? I felt a flutter of panic at the idea. I needed him in my life. I gazed at him, not knowing what to say, my stomach in knots.
He reached across the table and took my hand. Energy charged through me at his touch, and my gaze went to our intertwined fingers, then to his face. His incredible green eyes sparkled, and an unexpected surge of hope pulsed through me.
“Lily, over these last few months, as much as I’ve fought it, I’ve finally learned to accept the way I feel about you.”
I blinked a few times, my mind racing. Where was he going with this? Did I dare hope? Just then, Natalie began banging on her tray and babbling loudly, evidently not liking us ignoring her. I tried to pull my hand from Marcus’s, but he held it firm.
“She’s fine,” he murmured, then he reached out with his free hand and stroked her face, shushing her, and she settled down.
My love for him blossomed even more as I watched the way he was so gentle with my child, and when his focus shifted back to me, I found my gaze riveted to his, wary and hopeful at the same time.
He smiled. “As I was starting to say before the little princess interrupted . . .” His face became serious, and his gaze turned intense as his grip on my hand tightened slightly. “I love you, Lily. You and Natalie.”
My lips parted in stunned surprise, and a small gasp flew from my mouth. My heart soared as my mind fought to take it in. Did I hear him right? He loves me? “You do?” I finally managed to whisper.
He nodded.
“But you said we could only be friends.” As I gazed at him, I feared I was only dreaming, but the sounds in the restaurant, and the smell of the food on my plate were too real to only be in my mind.
“I was wrong. Like I said, I’ve been fighting my feelings, but deep-down, I’ve known all along that I was in love with you.”
His words slowly sunk in, but after wanting this for so long, I was afraid to let myself accept them. What if he didn’t mean it? “I don’t understand,” I finally said. “Why were you fighting your feelings?”
His hand gripped mine as he gazed at me. “I was afraid of getting hurt, of putting my heart out there to be trampled.” He paused, looking thoughtful. “The moment I witnessed you giving birth to that little girl . . .” He looked at Natalie, then back at me. “That was it for me. But then your . . . husband . . . showed up, and, well, I felt like you’d betrayed me.”
“I’m so sorry I lied to you.” The old shame flared bright inside me, and I tried to pull my hand away again.
He held on. “I’m over that, Lily. Totally and completely.”
I forced myself to relax and believe, trying to focus on the here and now. “Thank you.”
“But after he died,” he continued, “And you were all alone, I felt a need to protect you. Both of you. And that protection extended to protecting your heart. You’d just been through a traumatic, life-altering experience. I didn’t want to take advantage of that by trying to win your heart, so I decided I needed to just be your friend, and I pulled back.” He sighed. “When you told me you really liked me, I was elated, but I was afraid. Afraid that I was just the first man you’d spent time with, and that what you felt for me wasn’t real. I didn’t want to take the chance that either one of us would get hurt.”
His brow creased. “So I pushed you away. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us—giving us time. But then you went on that cruise and met . . . Cameron. When I was staying at your house taking care of Greta, and those flowers arrived for you, I felt panicked, like I’d messed up, let you get away.” Anguish filled his face. “And when I stopped by and Cameron was at your house, eating dinner with you, I was crushed.”
He paused, clenching his jaw. “I decided that if I really loved you, I would stay in the background and just be your friend.” He laughed, but it sounded grim. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Then his face lit up, and the sparkle came back into his eyes. “But today, when you whispered that you love me, I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t even sure I’d heard you right, but the look on your face when I asked you what you said?” He laughed, and the sound was pure joy. “I knew I’d heard you right.”
His smile grew. “And when you told me that you and Cameron were done, I knew the time was right.”
I stared at him, hardly believing that what I’d wanted most—to have him love me—was actually happening. My heart felt so full that I thought it might burst. I glanced at Natalie, who was still working on her roll and watching a child at a nearby table, then looked back at Marcus, whose eyes were locked on me.
“Lily,” he said, holding my hand with both of his. “I want us to be a family. You, me, and Natalie.”
I went completely still and held my breath, scarcely able to believe the words coming from his mouth. Was he about to say what I had only dreamed?
His eyes bored into mine as he spoke. “Lily, will you marry me?”
Chapter 31
My breath came out in a rush, and a million thoughts raced through my head. Chief among them was that I wanted nothing more than to be his wife, and for him to be Natalie’s father. He loves me! He wants to marry me! Joy suffused every fiber of my being.
I opened my mouth, ready to accept unequivocally, but then my earlier realization that his mother, Trish, evidently hated the idea of me dating her son so much that she’d lied to me and tried to manipulate me, came into my mind as a bold, clear statement. She doesn’t want you to be with her son.
Though I desperately wanted to tell him yes, I hesitated, worried now about driving a wedge between mother and son. If I accepted, he’d want to tell his parents right away, and I was certain Trish would not be happy. I didn’t want to shatter our good news with the disappointment of his family.
The other option would be to accept, and then to ask him not to tell his parents yet, but understandably, he’d want to know why. I couldn’t tell him that his mother had lied to me, as I was sure he’d go straight to her and then maybe they’d end up estranged. I had no family. I wanted my husband’s family to love me like their own. Driving a wedge into what could already be a fragile relationship was not a good way to start a marriage.
No, I could not accept his proposal until I’d talked to Trish.
“Lily?” he said, his face full of earnestness.
“Oh, Marcus, I love you so much.”
He grinned. “Is that a yes?”
How to do this? I wondered, my mind working frantically. “I want to say yes, but . . .”
“But what?” His face showed sudden distress. “What’s wrong?”
I smiled, trying to reassure him. “Please. Just give me a few days, and then I can give you a resounding yes.”
He looked confused, but he nodded. “I don’t understand, but I know I kind of sprung this on you without any warning.” His look of distress was replaced by a tentative smile. “I trust you, Lily. I’m trusting you with my heart.” The earnestness returned. “Please don’t break it.”
“Oh, Marcus. I would never do that. I love you.”
He smiled, and I felt my heart expand to proportions I didn’t think possible. We’re going to be married!
The rest of the meal went by in a blur, my mind on my dreams coming true, as well as what I would say to Trish when I spoke to her.
After Marcus paid for the meal, he lifted Natalie from her high chair and held her against his chest, then took my hand as we left the restaurant. I was on a high like I’d never been before, and I felt like I was floating as Marcus opened my car door for me, then put Natalie in her car seat, and drove us home.
When we got to my house, he hurried to my side of the car and opened the door and held out his hand. I took it and he held on as I climbed out, then he said, “Let’s get Natalie and go in the house.”
A thrill of anticipation raced through me as we walked around to Natalie’s door, hand in hand, then he released me as he took her out of her car seat and carried her to the front doo
r.
I fished the keys from my purse and let us in, then I smiled. “Let me put her to bed.”
He nodded. “I’ll be here.”
Those three simple words filled me with an inexpressible bliss. Soon he would be there with me every single day, and I could hardly wait. After putting Natalie in her pajamas, I tucked her in and closed her door, then I went back into the family room. Marcus was bent over the tile, pulling out the spacers.
He stood and turned as I entered the room. “They’re already pretty dry. Maybe we can grout tomorrow.”
“That would be great.” Tile was the last thing on my mind, and I stopped at the transition from the family room to the kitchen.
He set the spacers on the kitchen counter and walked toward me, his eyes dancing, then he held out one hand and I eagerly placed my hand in his. He stepped toward me, then with his other hand he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. He ran a finger down my face, leaving a trail of fire, and his finger ended under my chin. He lifted it so that our eyes met, and my gaze locked on his.
This all felt like a dream—a dream I never wanted to end.
“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” he murmured, his voice husky. Then his eyelashes fluttered closed, and his face descended toward mine.
I kept my eyes open, wanting to take in the moment and lock it away for safekeeping, but when his lips touched mine, desire like I’d never felt before coursed through my body and I had to close my eyes to stay anchored in the here and now. My arms slid around his neck, and his arms went around my waist, pulling me against him.
I melted into him, wanting more, so much more, but I knew the limits I’d set for myself. I’d made Trevor wait until our wedding night to be intimate, and I had no intention of changing that now. Marcus and I would be married—the sooner the better—and we could wait that much longer to fulfill the desire we both so obviously wanted.
He pulled away slightly and whispered my name against my lips, which nearly swept me away. This was something I’d wanted for so long. Even as I’d kissed Cameron, my thoughts had been on Marcus, hoping, ever hoping, that somehow this day would arrive.
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