As she walked she noticed the door to the library was open. It was a magnificent room. It had a massive stone fireplace on the inner wall and across it was a large bay window with cushions. By day you could lay there and read in the sunshine, and by night sit by the fireplace on the fainting couch. The shelves were lined with hundreds of books, and the newest addition to the room was devoted to audio recordings.
There was a black shiny piano off to the side, but neither Aunt Jana nor Uncle Tim played it. So why was it here? Probably just for decoration.
"So how was your day?" She heard Aunt Jana say from the end of the hall and walking towards her. "How are you getting along with your new friends?"
“Okey, there isn't much to do around here. I invited Sonya to the party tomorrow. I guess I should have asked first huh?"
"That's fine, it's your birthday!" She said kissing her on the forehead. "Do you need anything?"
Jillian wanted to say "YES YES I need answers. I don't want you to know what I did last night, but I do want to know what happened to me... Why I felt so horribly lost, or how Sonya fixed my ankle, or how we both saw the same thing in our heads today...Am I crazy?" But all that came out of her mouth was, "No, I'm OK. Goodnight." She said as she walked to her door and opened it. She 'felt' something was up, something she had no control of.
She got her pajamas on and looked out the window. In the silence of her room she felt so tiny, like a speck, but it was as if the whole universe was available to her. But why didn't she feel loved, or that she ever fit in, anywhere? She wanted to know that SHE made a difference, and that she wasn't a joke, an outcast, a mistake. Sometimes the feelings were overwhelming, the anger, the jealousy, the fear, the loneliness, the sadness. Is this what they call bipolar? Why do I constantly feel like I am on a roller coaster, and I am riding so fast I can't see the next curve or the drop?
She checked her phone for texts, none, of course not. She sat down on her bed and turned her tablet on, signed into Facebook. No messages, no posts. Her heart sank. Loneliness. Again.
As she cried herself to sleep, the stars were in perfect alignment. Her guides and angels watched patiently for their calling. She was preparing for a shift in space and time. From outside her window the crickets sang her a lullaby and she drifted into another reality, one of dreams where you are never quite sure if you are awake or asleep, and don't remember to ask.
Mornings usually were not the best time for Jillian. Knowing that she dreamed, but couldn't remember what; was frustrating. It made her angry. I should at least enjoy myself there, she thought. At least I don't have nightmares. What would I have nightmares about? Vampires or colossal spiders injecting me with paralyzing venom and wrapping me up in a cocoon for a late night snack? What about Zombies? How stupid.
She walked into the kitchen at noon. Aunt Jana and Tim were in the backyard setting up the picnic table with bright colored table clothes and party ware. Uncle Tim was firing up the grill for the party. It's a wonder he had any eyebrows left after the last cookout at Easter. Jillian would have to check them later today.
Uncle Tim and her dad were brothers. Gramma and Grandpa Hughes had adopted them when they were little boys, about a hundred years ago. Uncle Tim would sometimes get teary when he talked about how blessed they were to have had such tremendously caring parents. They were taught morals, ethics, respect and kindness from Gramma Hughs. How to provide for the family and make a living was what Grampa Hughs tried to teach them. Long days and a lot of hard work seemed to have paid off. They had been raised on the farm, and it must have been difficult, but Jillian thought she had the toughest life of all!
It seemed like all her parents cared about was that she always acted responsibly and do the right thing. Don’t they realize that kids can’t always remember everything, be responsible ALL the time and always make the right choices? They said that their role as parents was to teach her how to be honest and responsible. That is how they show their love.
They couldn't seem to understand why she found it so hard to pick up after herself and do her homework without being told to do so over and over. Who cared what her room looked like? She was the one who had to sleep in it. Why do you have to work so hard to remember math...Subtraction, multiplication, algebra. That's what calculators are for. The different wars and climates in different countries, all of the parts of a cell and their functions? That's why we have the internet on our phones, if we would ever need such stupid information.
Jillian thought that eating junk food all day then watching TV all night was how she was gonna live once she turned 18. And yes, maybe if a friend had asked her to jump off a cliff she might do it!! It drove her crazy when they told her what to do. Adults were so mean, that’s about all they ever did, tell her what to do. So Jillian would sometimes lie. “Yes I’m done with it,” she’d say, “Nope, no homework tonight,” just to get them to leave her alone so she could do what SHE wanted to do. She was getting quite hot and sweaty now, there were knots in her stomach, and her chest was heaving.
Luckily her angry daydream was interrupted by the honking of a horn. She ran through the house and into the front yard where her parents were pulling into the driveway. They jumped out of the car, just as excited to see her too. “Mommy, daddy, I missed you!” She said as she hugged them both. With a smile that stretched from ear to ear her mother said “Happy Birthday Pookie Boo! You have grown in the last week! You seem much older!”
“Oh no, you're starting to look like an adult. We had better put you in your place!” Her father shouted and tried to lift her into the air, but she was too big. He gave up and began to tickle her without mercy and they tumbled to the ground. Jillian was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe! Oh how she missed him, his hugs, his warmth, his scent, his smile, and his kisses.
“Come on guys let’s help get things ready,” her mom called as she headed into the back yard with some bags. As Jillian and her father walked into the back yard they saw Uncle Tim at the grill. He smiled and gave Jillian a wink, “How’s the birthday girl?”
“Fine! Can I borrow the car later?” Jillian laughed.
Her dad rolled his eyes, "That'll come soon enough, and we will have to buy that stuff to remove the gray out of our hair," he said laughing.
“Hair? After she starts driving I doubt if we will have to worry about any!” Uncle Tim said jokingly.
A van pulled into the driveway and parked. Doors flew open. It was her Aunt Monica with her cousins!! Her jaw dropped. Her mom’s and sister had arrived with her three daughters Alexa, May and Celia and her Uncle Nathan’s three boys Eric, Josh and Cody. As they all got out of the van the girls hugged and squealed and the little boys pushed the girls and ran around the yard.
Aunt Monica pulled bags and boxes out of the van and closed the doors and walked to Jillian. She tilted her head to shield her eyes from the sunlight. She looked into Jillian's bright face. Memories flooded her mind and heart. She looked just like her mother when she was younger.
She held out her arms and gave Jillian one of her famous two feet planted firmly on the ground bear hugs. “Happy 20th birthday!” Aunt Monica said.
Jillian, whose face was a bit blue now inhaled deeply and laughed, “You know how old I am, can you remember how old you are?” Aunt Monica rolled her eyes and shook her head. Just then ‘fwop.’ Something hit Jillian in the back of the head.
“Sorry!” Cody yelled as he picked up his Nerf ball and ran after his brothers into the backyard laughing.
There was a large cloud of smoke looming above the house from the back yard. “Uncle Tim’s grilling huh?” Celia said with a grin.
“Yep,” said Jillian as she and her favorite cousin walked around the house arm in arm. Jillian suddenly thought, I wonder if she would know, what I am going through, we're the same age. Does she ever feel alone? Probably not with the other kids in the house and her mom and dad there all the time. I wonder if they would let her stay with me for the summer. I can remember all of us camping in th
e mountains, that was so much fun! We shared secrets about boys, and sneaking snacks. I will never ever forget the bear walking up behind me while I was peeing! Jillian burst out laughing as they walked.
Celia looked at her "The bear?" She yelled, and started laughing hysterically as they walked around to the back of the house.
“Come and get it,” Uncle Tim said as he scooped up corn on the cob, burgers, and veggie-kabobs onto platters. Everyone was grabbing the food and piling their plates high. There was potato salad, deviled eggs, a cheese and relish tray, artichoke dip, guacamole, fresh tortilla chips, taco salad, mozzarella-basil-tomato bites, and black bean salsa. There were some things Jillian knew the younger kids help to make with Jell-O and marshmallows and fresh fruit. Looking around at the tables Jillian thought who am I waiting for? I guess Sonya isn't coming after all. I guess I don’t have anyone else. She felt sad and angry at the same time. Now she had no appetite. She was oblivious to everyone eating around her. I feel sick she thought as she realized the intense pounding she felt in her chest and stomach. It’s because I had to move. I have to be here for the summer. I had so many friends before I came here, and I had to leave them all behind.
“Jillian, can we start the game now?” Alexa yelled. “We have to leave in about an hour to get back in time for Eric’s game.” Jillian’s heart started pounding harder…they just got here, and they are going to leave? Everyone was done eating except her. Jillian was soo angry now. She just wanted to scream and cry and run away. She thought she was going to explode.
Jillian’s mother looked into her face saw that all too familiar expression. Her forehead was tilted down, her face was flushed and her lips were curled and ready to blow. “Honey, let's spend a few minutes together, just you and me,” she said as she quickly sat beside her and wrapped her with her arms and pulled her close.
“Mom, this isn’t going the way I wanted it to,” Jillian said.
“Breathe, slower… slower… let it go sweetie, let it go, focus on your breathing. That's good.” Jillian's mother whispered as she rubbed Jillian's back.
After a few minutes Jillian was feeling better and peeked to see that her guests had started playing the game without her. No one was paying her any attention. They all knew better. “I’m sorry, I just started feeling sick,” Jillian said looking into her mothers’ eyes, trying to cover up what just happened. Her mother held her face in her hands and gently kissed her forehead.
“It’s okay sweetie. Why don’t you play for a while and then we can do cake and gifts.”
She took another deep breath, relaxed and felt much better. Her eyes got all squinty "Okay, I’m gonna beat the pants off of Cody because I owe him one for hitting me in the head!” Jillian said as she jumped up and ran towards the others.
The game without a name was something her uncle made up out of PVC pipes and golf balls on ropes. Sometimes if it was just the kids playing they could invent new rules, but not today. The big boys, Jillian’s dad and Uncle Tim were playing too...And it got real loud...The competition of the four teams was fierce. Luckily only two ice packs were needed. Aunt Jana suggested the next time they played that everyone should wear helmets.
“Cake and ice cream.” Aunt Monica yelled. A whoosh of kids ran to the table grabbing the most incredible flavors in the world. These were all hand made by Aunt Monica for her store, the Intentions Café. There was banana, orange, and French Vanilla cake with strawberry, chocolate and peach ice cream. She said that not only were her desserts made with wholesome ingredients, but that you could also taste the intention, the love she put into everything she made. Boy was she right! This was a real treat. Even the kids would slow down to enjoy these flavors bite by bite
15 candles were placed on Jillian’s gargantuan slice of orange cake. Everyone sang Happy Birthday the usual way, except the boys whispered the “you live in a zoo, you smell like a monkey” version and used “Smelly Bean” as her name. No surprise here.
Jillian looked over at Aunt Jana. Her eyes were closed. She was truly “tasting” her dessert, not just eating it. Copying her, Jillian closed her eyes and put a forkful of her orange cake into her mouth and began to smoosh it with her tongue. Wow! It was like fluffy citrus bread that made your cheeks tingle and your tongue salivate! Then she put a forkful of the milk chocolate ice cream in her mouth. It was smooth and creamy. Then she shoveled in some cake and ice cream together. They felt soft and fluffy, cold, thick and smooth. It’s like an orange with milk chocolate center. Awesome!
Jillian dreamily opened her eyes. The adults were standing and watching her. They were all smiling. Her mom and dad, Aunt Jana, Uncle Tim and Aunt Monica. It seemed as if the sun were setting behind them because she could see a streak of soft glowing lights around them. As she took another bite of cake and closed her eyes she could still see all of them standing there in her mind’s eye. The Fantastic Five, Doers of Good. All the time. Heroes to the World. A warm feeling grew in her chest and she giggled. They made her feel safe, like there was never anything to worry about. She ate the rest of her cake and ice cream, and licked her plate clean.
"Okay, let's get to the gifts," her mom said motioning all of them to the table where the gifts were. She handed Jillian a large decorative bag. As usual the boys got it at the dollar store and filled it to the brim. Of course, they included things they wanted for themselves. A football, basketball, weird looking sunglasses, air fresheners for the car, and silly string, not even the cousins are too old for that. However there was a silver necklace with a blue dolphin, a pack of hair bands, some candy, and a cheap periwinkle ring. “Thanks guys,” Jillian said to her cousins, “this is the most you’ve ever left me,” she said putting the necklace around her neck.
“Jillian, open the big pretty one from us,” her cousin Alexa pleaded. Jillian’s mother handed her a box, and Jillian began to pull off the silvery striped wrapping paper to reveal inside was a box painted with flowers, hearts and rainbows. “Open it up!” Alexa said moving up closer and sitting on her knees. Jillian opened it up and there was another box inside it, and another and another. Finally in the last box there were glass vials.
“They’re Fairy Wishes. We all made them for you,” May said with pride. "We dried, mashed, and boiled the herbs and oils to make them just right," Celia said. “Mommy painted the nesting boxes just for you,” Alexa smiled and held one in the air to show it off.
Jillian read the labels;
In the clear glass vial was “Essence of Clarity, to see and to know”
In the orange glass vial was “Essence of Gratitude, to feel thankful”
In the dark blue glass vial was “Essence of Faith, a calm knowing inside”
In the purple glass vial was “Essence of Joy, a feeling of such happiness it must be shared”
Aunt Monica explained, “They are charged with the energy or the intent of the feelings that are on the label. They are extremely strong, and will last a long time, so don't use too much." She looked at Aunt Jana who was smiling warmly at her, and they began talking about the recipes, the ingredients and bottles, comparing notes. It seemed like it was common knowledge for the family.
She opened each one of the vials and with closed eyes, inhaled the essence of each one. They were all beautiful. They all seemed familiar too. Aunt Jana, Aunt Monica and mom wear these; I never realized it was perfume. It just seemed to be what they smelled like.
She looked at the bottles, and thought about the selecting of the plants, the drying, the mashing, the boiling, the bottling, and labeling of each one. She inspected the boxes, painted inside and out, thinking about the time it took to make each one. Each heart, each flower and each rainbow painted by hand. One by one.
Something stirred in her heart. It felt full and warm. What is this feeling? Why do I feel like I’m gonna cry? I'm happy, not sad. “Thank you for such an incredible present!” Flowed from her mouth without her realizing it until she was hugging her aunt and cousins.
Her Mother handed her the o
ne box that was left. “It’s from Uncle Nathan,” she said. Jillian ripped open the paper to find an alarm clock. Jillian cocked her head and wrinkled her brow.
“Oh come on, there must be a reason,” her mom said looking at the box with a crooked smile.
“Hey, that’s like the one we have,” Eric said. “You can record messages to wake up to instead of an alarm sound.”
“Yah like, time to get up fart-face.” Josh said.
“Or looser…Wake up, you are late for school!” Cody piped in. The girls all rolled their eyes. Jillian winced, thinking what they could have recorded for her.
“Did you guys already make some for me?” She asked looking at her cousins. Everyone burst into laughter. She rolled her eyes. Now that would have been scary. She thought about the crazy things she could have woken up to.
Paranormal Summer (Indigo Moon Rising) Page 3
