by Sarah Noffke
Sophia shook off the insecurities, knowing that’s what they were. She’d deal with them later. Or not at all. Right then, she was going to go collect information on Trin Currante. Then she’d get to the bottom of this magician disappearance business.
Putting her finger in her ear, Sophia found seaweed and something she thought had to be Evil Hatch guts. She wondered what had created that strange creature. It didn’t seem natural, and its last words stuck with her. The creature had been grateful to be put out of his misery. Something had made it angry and go on a rampage. When afforded the time, she’d look into that. Right then, though, she had a date with Mortimer. After a quick whiff, she realized she couldn’t disgrace him by showing up in her present state.
She had time for a shower, she reasoned, making for the Castle.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Tied together by a smile were Rudolf and Serena Sweetwater, standing with their triplets wiggling around in their strollers. Sophia grinned at the family when she stepped onto Roya Lane through the portal. She felt refreshed after a quick shower and a change of clothes. She’d dropped the ax in the weapons room, which was where she expected to find Wilder if he was at the Castle. He wasn’t. She’d have him tell her about the strange weapon of the Unseelie fairy later.
The last time Sophia had seen the mortal Queen Serena Sweetwater, she had been reluctantly eating a magical cupcake that would extend her life so she could spend more years with her halfling children and fae husband. Almost as important was that it would make King Rudolf Sweetwater happy so he would be a better ruler to the fae.
Sophia’s gaze fell on the squirming babies in the stroller, Captain, Captain, and Captain. She suspected, based on something Papa Creola said, they were a huge part of this equation with the fae. Father Time had hinted their wellbeing was important for the untold future.
“How are you?” Sophia asked, unaccustomed to seeing Serena smiling…or during the day. Or dressed or upright, or sober, for that matter.
“Captain Morgan said her first word,” Rudolf told her proudly, pointing to the first baby in the set of strollers.
Sophia blinked with disbelief. “She’s an infant.”
The king of the fae nodded like that wasn’t to be questioned. “Yeah, a bit behind the pack, but I’m hoping she’ll catch up with other fae children soon. Her sisters are sure to somersault with their progress right after they learn how to somersault.”
Sophia gave him a sideways look, not knowing where to begin based on this information. “Wait, so the fae talk early?”
“Oh yeah,” he said with confidence. “We’re pretty much born talking and walking and doing math.”
“Then what happens?” she asked, never having met a smart fae before. Most interactions with them robbed her of her brain cells.
“Lust, wonder, and lots and lots of drugs,” he declared.
Sophia nodded. “That seems about right. It sounds like you are slated for great things.”
“Yeah, but we spoil it with our impulsive nature and need for immediate gratification,” Rudolf answered. He shrugged. “It’s a part of the design. Could you imagine how we’d rule the world with our long lives and beauty if we held onto our intelligence? It would be devastating to the rest of the magical races.”
“So, you dumb yourself down for the rest of us? How very altruistic of you,” Sophia said dryly.
“Oh, she said it again!” Serena exclaimed when Captain Morgan made a noise.
Rudolf clapped. “Oh, and she’s already so cultured. Maybe she’ll become a culinary expert like her grandfather.” He gave Sophia a proud look. “He invented marshmallows.”
“Wow,” she replied dryly. “You must be very proud.”
“Not as much as I am of the cousin who had the idea for the hokey-pokey.” Rudolf sighed. “He was working on the meaning of life and came up with the song and dance.”
“You’re more proud of that?” Sophia questioned.
“Well, what if the hokey-pokey is what it’s all about?” Rudolf reasoned.
Sophia shook this off, remembering a conversation with a fae was about like going through a maze blindfolded. It was inevitable to get lost. “What is this first word you just heard Captain Morgan say?”
“Oh, her first word was ghee,” Serena answered, smiling wide. “If you listen, she’ll say it again.” She looked at Rudolf, suddenly quite serious. “What if she’s trying to tell us she doesn’t want to be a vegan?”
He nodded like this made sense. “I was thinking the same thing. If clarified butter is what my baby wants, then that’s what she gets.”
Sophia’s eyes simply widened with complete horror. “You realize those are baby noises she’s making? That’s what they do…I’ve heard.”
Rudolf dismissed this at once. “That’s what simpletons believe, but we know our children well enough to know she’s saying real words.” Turning his attention to his wife, he said, “I think we can get some organic ghee at the shop down the lane.”
“You’re going to give an infant butter?” Sophia didn’t know why she was even going to argue with the Sweetwaters. It would only cost her more brain cells, but she felt it was her social responsibility to at least try.
He scoffed. “No. Not until she’s had her hemp protein shake and vegan sausage puree. What kind of monsters do you take us for?”
“If she doesn’t want to be vegan anymore, should we switch her over to regular milk?” Serena asked her husband.
He nodded. “Yeah, but let’s go with a type of milk that’s hard to get, and we have to buy on the black market.”
“Like something from an endangered animal like a panda or a German shepherd?” Serena asked.
“Um, German shepherds aren’t on the endangered animal list,” Sophia argued.
“Well, the ones that actually speak the language are,” Rudolf countered.
Serena nodded boldly, crossing her arms and giving Sophia a challenging look that said, “Yeah, take that.”
Sophia shrugged off their insanity and forced a smile. “You two are strangely perfect for each other.”
He cast a fond expression on his wife and nodded. “We really are, and thanks to your help, we are happier than we’ve ever been.”
This made a genuine smile grace Sophia’s face. “I’m really happy to hear that.”
Chapter Forty
Clean wasn’t the word for it. The brownies’ official headquarters was spotless. The smell of lemon was strong in the air when Sophia entered the reception area.
Sophia froze when Ticker ran a feather duster over her feet and legs.
“Dou yirty,” the little brownie stated.
She smiled down at the little guy. “You should have seen me earlier. I was filthy and covered in octopus parts.”
From seemingly nowhere, the little fairy pulled a squeegee and a spray bottle out of thin air. “Cwueaky slean.”
“No thanks,” Sophia said politely and stepped away from the enthusiastic brownie.
His mother Pricilla rushed from the back office, her youngest in her arms. “I’m sorry, Sophia Beaufont, if he’s bothering you. Ticker has just gotten excited about his new upcoming assignment and is practicing.”
Waving off her concern, Sophia told her, “He’s not bothering me. Ticker is already starting his first assignment?”
Pricilla nodded. “Yes, a bit late, but I wanted to keep him with me for a little longer.” She gave her son a fond expression. “I just didn’t want to let him go yet because once they are off, it’s hard to get them back.”
“Wow, brownies start work early,” Sophia observed, curious about how the different races evolved at different and seemingly faster rates than mortals and magicians.
“Yes, and I’m excited he’s enthusiastic about the work we do out there in the world, cleaning noble mortal’s homes.” She gave her son a prideful expression.
“He’s going to do the best job if this is any proof.” Sophia indicated the spotless office.
“Well, Mortimer is expecting you in his office,” Pricilla offered, holding her arm out to the door down the hallway. “We won’t keep you any longer since you have important business to attend to.”
The head of the brownies was spinning in his office chair when Sophia entered.
“Well, hello, S. Beaufont, rider for the Dragon Elite,” the brownie squeaked, always formal. Liv had said it was a part of the fairies’ culture, which respected hierarchy almost as much as cleanliness.
“Hi,” she replied. “How are you?” Sophia remembered the last time she’d seen Mortimer; he’d been quite stressed about the current global unease.
He spun again in his swivel chair, leaning his head back as he stared at the ceiling. “I’ve had better centuries, but we will weather this storm with the mortals losing morale over the magician situation.”
Sophia nodded, appreciating the brownie’s optimism.
“Now, I’ve got a lead on how you can find Trin Currante,” Mortimer began. “There’s apparently a dog who should know the headquarters of where Trin and her cyborgs are hiding out.”
Tilting her head to the side, Sophia gave him a hesitant expression. “How is the dog supposed to tell us where that location is? Does it speak?”
Mortimer shook his head like this wasn’t a weird question. “Not that I’m aware of. My brownies tell me the canine has super intelligence.”
Sophia lowered her chin, putting it all together. “Let me guess, an enhanced creature then? Created by the same lab that made Trin Currante and the other cyborgs?”
“I’m thinking so,” Mortimer replied. “Although I don’t know how, I think the animal should be intelligent enough to help you find the location of the headquarters.”
Dogs were great for search and rescue missions and sniffing out bombs and drugs. One could reason they could lead them to a specific place.
“Okay, so where do I find this super-smart dog?” Sophia asked.
“It’s at the location Trin Currante was at and blew up,” Mortimer explained.
“But it was blown up,” Sophia argued, deflating slightly. “The dog probably was in the blast or maybe even got away on the plane with the cyborgs.”
Mortimer shook his head. “I don’t think so. My brownie tells me the animal is still hanging around the site, confused and lost.”
Sophia’s heart sank. They’d left the animal behind, so no wonder it was confused and lost. It was probably some experiment of the Saverus Corporation, and now it had been abandoned. They had to go get it.
“Is there anything else you can offer?” Sophia watched as Mortimer began spinning around again.
He paused and thought, then shook his head. “Not at the present moment. My brownies are always sneaking around behind the scenes, so if I hear of anything I think will be of use, I’ll send you a message.”
“Thank you.”
Sophia was grateful to have such helpful friends—in all the right places.
Chapter Forty-One
“I wish you would just admit you need my help,” Evan said, sitting across from Sophia at the table in the dining hall at the Castle.
Sophia rolled her eyes. “I don’t need your help specifically. I just need backup. Mortimer says there are traps left behind at Medford Research.”
Evan stretched his arms over his head. “Sounds like you need my head.”
“It really comes down to that you’re the only one free,” Sophia told him, taking a sip of her tea, her stomach grumbling. She was starving after all the long adventures. “Wilder has to leave on another mission. Mahkah is doing high-level stuff on adjudication missions. So that leaves you.”
“You need me,” he sang as Ainsley carried out a plate of grilled chicken with a Thai peanut butter sauce.
She laid it down with a smile, looking at the arrangement of food proudly.
Evan pointed to it. “Hiker is going to hate this.”
“I know,” she said with a smile.
“He doesn’t like anything Asian,” Evan told Sophia.
She’d been around the Viking long enough to know he liked meat, potatoes, whiskey, and that was about it.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Ainsley exclaimed with excitement, hustling back for the kitchen.
Sophia gave Evan a knowing expression. They both understood that whatever she was hurrying to get would be something Hiker didn’t like.
“Okay, I’m ready.” Evan leaned back in his chair, tipping back on the hind legs.
“Ready for what?” she asked, giving him a reluctant expression.
“Go on and beg me for my help,” he replied.
“I’m not doing that,” Sophia declared definitively. “You are one of us. We need to track down Trin Currante. That’s part of the Dragon Elite’s mission. So, you’re going to go on this mission and be my backup.”
“When you say backup, it sort of feels like I’m not the lead on the project,” Evan stated.
“Because you’re not,” Sophia said with a groan. “I found the information on where to find the cyborg dog or whatever it is.”
“You got that from where?” Evan asked, tipping back farther.
“From my awesome secret source,” she answered. “This is my case, so you’re the backup.”
“But I’ve been to the Medford Research facility before and nearly died saving your life,” Evan argued.
“That’s not how things happened,” she stated as Ainsley brought in a platter of fried octopus.
Sophia pushed back from the table, grimacing.
“Oh, now you’re off my cooking too?” Ainsley stuck her hands on her hips, offense written on her face.
“Sorry, but I’m off octopus for pretty much the rest of my life,” Sophia told her, trying not to be sick from the smell of the fried squid.
Ainsley shook her head. “You act like you’ve gotten into a fight with a giant octopus or something.”
Sophia actually laughed. “What, have you been reading my diary again?”
“No,” Ainsley answered at once. “You never put anything good in there anymore. Just Wilder this and Wilder that. Ainsley, stop reading my personal business, or I’ll throw sheep poo all over the dining room floor for you to clean up. It’s all very boring.”
Sophia shook off the comment and turned her attention back to Evan. “So, can you leave tomorrow morning?”
“I’ve got to sleep until noon, so maybe after I’ve had my proper rest,” he stated, folding his hands behind his head.
Quiet entered the dining hall, his clothes stained with dirt as usual. His eyes narrowed on Evan and he muttered something, and the hind legs of the chair slipped out, making the dragonrider topple back.
“Hey!” Evan roared, landing on his backside.
Sophia and Ainsley erupted in laughter.
“We leave right after breakfast,” Sophia demanded rather than asked.
“Fine,” Evan said, clambering to his feet and pulling the chair upright. “Right after second breakfast.” He went to take a seat again and it fell back once more, sending him onto the floor again.
“Right after breakfast works for me,” Sophia said, stifling a laugh.
“Yeah, fine,” Evan replied, rubbing his elbow as Wilder entered the dining hall.
He flashed an excited smile at Sophia, his blue eyes twinkling. “Hey, that ax you left for me is something else. Where did you get it?”
“From an Unseelie fairy,” she replied.
Everyone fell silent, giving her wide eyes.
“On second thought, you should go on this mission alone.” Evan eyed the chair with great hesitation. “You seem to find the strangest trouble.”
“Yeah, I don’t think anyone has seen an Unseelie fairy in ages,” Wilder mused. “They are incredibly wicked.”
“Yeah, this one was grumpy, for sure,” Sophia agreed with a laugh.
“Well, it makes sense it was an Unseelie because th
ey are notorious for shielding the memory of their weapons,” Wilder explained. “I wasn’t able to see where it had been or who had used it. That’s why I was surprised to learn it belonged to a fairy. Actually, I was initially surprised I couldn’t read anything from it.”
Sophia nodded. “Yeah, I sensed the ax was really different.”
“It is,” Wilder affirmed. “It’s incredibly sharp, more so than most weapons, and would cut through just about anything.”
“Like a deranged octopus,” Sophia grumbled.
Wilder seemed surprised by this. “Yes, I suppose so. I was thinking heavy steel or something, but sure. It could probably cut through anything in the ocean. I’m certain there are many other magical properties to the ax, but I’ll have to look into it later.”
“Because you’re off to hit the casinos and meet some unclassy ladies, right?” Evan asked with a grin, still choosing not to take a seat.
Wilder shook his head. “No, I think that’s what you’d do if you didn’t make every woman run for the hills and a thorough scrubbing. I have a mission I have to leave on straight away.” He gave Sophia a remorseful expression. “I’ll be gone for a while.”
She nodded, disappointed.
“Hey, we’re leaving on a mission too,” Evan bragged. “Sophia is going to be my assistant and hold my bags and such. Like a caddy.”
Wilder pretended he hadn’t heard the other rider, still looking at Sophia. “You found a lead on Trin Currante?”
“Yeah, I just have to go find a dog with enhanced intelligence, and it will tell us where to look for the cyborg,” she answered.
He nodded. “That seems like a totally Sophia approach to a problem.”
