by Amy Sparling
Everything—my breathing, my heartbeat, even the crickets—are silent for a long moment. I watch Theo, knowing the meaning of the words I just heard but not believing them. Not wanting to believe them.
Immortality? That kind of thing is a myth, a made up concept that entices made up characters like Lord Voldemort. People live and die and humanity has been like that forever. We age, we get old, we kick the bucket. There’s just no way anything else is possible.
Is he messing with me? As much as I want to laugh and call him on the joke, I can’t stop thinking about that horrifying moment when I took off the bracelet. My body has never felt like that before, and I fear I’ll never be able to forget how horrific it felt to be without the bracelet on my arm. That wasn’t natural, it wasn’t normal.
It was…
“I’m gonna need you to explain a little more,” I say finally.
Theo glances back toward the house. “You should probably be sitting down when I tell you.”
With a shrug, I drop to my knees and then sit on the grass, probably ruining this elegant purple gown. When I’d put it on earlier today, I’d pictured this night going in a completely different direction. You know, in a normal direction. Maybe I’d even get to make out with Theo by the end of the night.
But now I’m sitting in the grass next to Theo, who kneels down beside me, his elbow resting in his knee, this thumb and index finger sliding slowly across his brow.
Making out is the last thing on my mind.
In fact, I’m freaking out so much I’m not sure anything is on my mind.
“You cannot repeat a word of this to anyone,” he says, his voice low as he peers up at me through his eyelashes. He keeps glancing back toward the house, as if someone will suddenly spot us way out here. As if that would be a very bad thing. Theo, the calm and sexy guy I met on the pier, looks very unnatural like this. He’s worried. He’s in pain. He’s a guy with a lot of secrets that are probably hard as hell to contain.
I hold my chin up high because Cara Blackwell isn’t a liar. “I won’t say a word.”
“Not to anyone,” he stresses, looking me dead in the eyes. His voice is still low, so low it’s hard to hear. “Not Riley, not anyone. You cannot say a word, ever, for the rest of your life.”
“Okay…” I say as trepidation builds beneath my ribcage. “I won’t.”
His lips form a flat line. “You will be the first to die if you tell anyone. And then whoever you told would quickly follow you to the grave.”
“You’re being really morose,” I whisper back, trying to lighten the mood. I don’t get the feeling that Theo is threatening me here, it’s more like he’s the one who was threatened and now he’s risking it all by telling me.
“What the hell happened with my bracelet?” I ask.
He takes my arm in his hands, this thumb sliding across my skin just above the silver. “This blue gem is a lapis stone. It was created by an alchemist in the year 1532 after he spent a lifetime studying ancient Greek and middle ages texts on the elixir of life. I don’t know how the bastard did it, but he made a stone capable of giving immortality. He made several of them in fact. About two hundred.” Theo gazes up at me, pain flickering in his eyes. “Alchemy is real. When he couldn’t figure out how to turn metal into gold, he discovered another thing. Immortality.”
Chills prickle over my skin. People have searched for immortality for centuries, but just like getting Spiderman-like superheroes is just fiction, I’ve always thought living forever is just as unlikely to ever happen.
“Does this mean I’m immortal?” I ask.
Theo’s face falls. He looks at the ground, his hand still holding onto my wrist. “No, love. It means your life is being given to an immortal.”
I try to swallow and my throat tastes like acid. Tears sting my eyes. I don’t fully understand what’s going on but the solemn expression on Theo’s face has me more frightened than I’ve ever been. My body shakes uncontrollably. This is worse than the time I had to walk home after midnight and was run off the road by a car full of drunk assholes. It’s worse than going hungry, or being beaten with a belt from a foster care mom.
This is worse than everything.
He continues, “These stones work as a battery of sorts. They press to skin and they slowly drain the life from the person. That person’s life force is then transferred to the person who wears the stone’s mate. They will remain immortal so long as they have a donor wearing the bracelet.”
“So…I’m keeping someone immortal by wearing this bracelet?”
He nods and I frown, then look down at my hands, which are alive and normal. “But I’m still alive so…”
“Most girls last a year or two.” His voice is so soft I barely hear it. When he looks at me, there are tears in his eyes. “That thing is slowly killing you, Cara.”
Maybe I should cry, or scream. Or laugh and tell him this is all so impossible there’s no way it’s real. Instead, I don’t do anything. I stare straight ahead, my gaze focused on a sloping hill in the distance, the dark sky beyond it. There are a few stars out tonight, and the moon hangs toward the left. I have the sudden realization that people have been staring at this very moon for centuries. For thousands of years. How many of them have been immortal?
I have just been given a death sentence, and I don’t even know how to react.
“That mark you saw,” Theo says softly. “It was dark blue. That’s because you’re still filled with life and your essence is strong. As time goes on, it’ll get lighter, and then it’ll fade away completely.”
“And then they’ll replace me.” It’s not a question, it’s a fact.
His voice cracks. “Yes.”
We sit in silence for another long moment. Theo is still kneeling beside me, and I can feel how uncomfortable this is for him. Good. Let him feel bad. Let him feel like absolute shit.
“Why didn’t you get here early enough?” I say, looking up at the stars. This far in the country, they sparkle and shine without any light pollution from the big city. I let out a breath until my shoulders sag. “Why didn’t you meet me at the pool and tell me all of this earlier?”
“I’m so sorry.” Theo runs his palm down his face. “It is forbidden to speak of the clan’s true purpose. I couldn’t tell you in you room. The tablet near your door is triggered to listen for certain words, immortality being one of them. Should any girl start to question why she’s there, they know about it the moment they figure it out.”
My eyes widen, and seeing the horror on my face, he says, “No one’s listening to you all the time. This isn’t the government or anything,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “It’s a piece of software on the tablets. If it hears a certain word, it’ll start recording and it’ll send it to Alexo.”
“What happens then?” I ask.
He looks at me. “A person would be immediately killed to protect the secret. That’s why I couldn’t tell you on the plane. I couldn’t tell you in your room. I had to wait until we were truly alone. I was going to meet you at the pool and walk down here and tell you.” He swallows and I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down. Just a few minutes ago, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. I thought I’d never be able to focus on anything else when I was near him. I thought we could live happily ever after.
But now boyfriends and kissing and all of those things seem so stupid and trivial.
Theo presses his forehead to mine and sighs. “I’m so sorry, Cara.”
“Me too,” I say.
And that’s when it hits me.
I have just been given a death sentence.
This is not a drill.
This is real life.
And real death.
Chapter 26
Overwhelming panic consumes me. My heart pounds like it’s fighting to get out of my body and drops of sweat bead along my forehead. I start hyperventilating until stars fill my vision, and even then, I can’t stop. Theo is talking to me, his voice low and urgent, but I can’t und
erstand any of it. It’s just noise against the backdrop of my panic.
I am dying.
This thing is killing me.
I’ll be dead before I’m twenty years old.
“It all seemed too good to be true.” When I talk, it sounds like someone else’s voice. Some other stupid girl who just ruined her life, not me. I am so far consumed in panic that I don’t even feel like myself anymore. But I know it is me, deep down.
Theo doesn’t say anything. There’s really nothing to say. All he can do is watch me fall apart as the realization that I am going to die cascades over me like a lead blanket, suffocating me.
“I feel like I should be mad at you,” I say, shaking my head. “But it’s not your fault. You tried to warn me. I can only be mad at myself.”
He starts to say something, but now that I’m aware of my own impending demise, I have a lot of questions. “How long do I have?”
“Two years at the most. If you stay calm and don’t injure yourself or get sick, your life force will be stronger and last longer.”
“That’s why they let us live in luxury,” I say. I’m smiling, but I am not happy. I’ve probably gone completely insane.
He nods and I see the hint of a scowl cross his face. “If you take care of your life donors, they last longer. This clan is one of three clans, and they are arguably the most humane of them all.”
“There’s more clans?” I say with a snort. “This whole time I thought that word—clan—was so weird. It’s like this ancient, weird, word you never hear on a normal basis and they kept saying it.”
“They are ancient,” he says. “Alexo is two hundred and fifty-nine years old.”
My heart catches in my throat. When I had met Alexo, however briefly, there was a calm demeanor to him. That of someone who has lived life long enough to be able to stop and smell the roses. He wasn’t a fast talker. He took time to look at all of us when he performed the ceremony.
A sardonic thought comes to mind. Ceremony is probably the worst word to describe condemning five young women to an unnaturally short life.
“What about the hundred thousand dollars?” I ask. Maybe I can send it to Uncle Will and he can use it to make his life better.
Theo frowns. “A lie. You will live in luxury while you’re here, no doubt, but you’ll leave here in a body bag. They use the high salary as an incentive to lure in women.”
I flinch as soon as he says body bag, and I can tell he feels bad about it. He reaches out and cups his hand to my cheek. “Cara…” he breathes. There are a million emotions behind that one word, and I find myself wanting to hate him and love him all at the same time. Why did this happen?
Why is my luck so impossibly shitty?
Theo sighs. “I will never forgive myself for letting this happen to you.”
“But you let it happen to other girls,” I say, my stomach clenching into knots. “You’re letting it happen every day.”
“I’m trying to make it better, Cara. I swear to you. I—” He stops, his forehead creasing as he looks at me. “That day I saw you on the plane, I’ve never been more horrified. I wanted you out. I wanted to save you. Some of these girls they hire are just vapid idiots and I’ve been able to look the other way, but with you—” He sighs, then lowers his lips and presses them to my forehead. “With you, I felt my entire heart get ripped out at the idea of you becoming one of their pawns.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and I don’t wipe it away. This is all too much. I can’t handle it, I can’t function or even begin to fathom what the hell is going on.
Part of me still hopes that maybe it’s all a prank, some mean hazing joke to convince me that immortality exists and that I am on the wrong side of it. I imagine myself in a parallel universe, where this really is a joke, and we can all laugh about it later.
There’s a rustle in the grass near a wooded area of the yard. Theo straightens and curses under his breath.
In one swift movement, he pushes me on my back and then dives on top of me, his hand sliding down to my hip.
“Stop crying,” he breathes against my ear. “Pretend we’re making out.”
“Is someone out here?” A man’s voice calls out.
Theo’s lips press to mine. My eyes close on instinct and a flood of warmth rushes through me from the kiss. But it only lasts a second because my heart doesn’t have room in it for kissing guys at the moment.
Still, Theo keeps up the charade as the footsteps grow closer and then a guy says, “Damn, son!”
Theo jumps up, doing a fantastic job of pretending to be startled. “Can a guy get some privacy?” he says, giving Russel this ridiculously douche-bag level grin. I’ve seen the same look on college frat guys. I can’t believe for a second that Russel actually believes Theo’s act, because anyone who knows him should know he’d never act like that.
“Of course, of course,” Russel says. He holds up his hands innocently and takes a step back. “I lost the spare keys to my four wheeler out here so I was just looking for them. I’m glad to see you’re finally enjoying yourself here, Theo.” He winks at Theo and then gives me a smile. “Carry on.”
Theo rocks back on his heels and watches until Russel has disappeared back into the wooded area. I sit up on the palms of my hands and try to catch my breath.
Even while knowing I’m about to die, a kiss from Theo can still take my breath away.
“I’m sorry about that,” he says. His teeth bite down on this bottom lip. “It is not the time for shit like that, but I couldn’t let him think we were talking. I’m not exactly on excellent terms with these guys.”
“Why?” I say sarcastically. “Because you disagree with their heinous lifestyle?”
“Er, sort of.” He scratches his neck. “There are so many more aspects to this than you know. More than I could possibly tell you in a night. Immortality—it goes deeper than that. The clans don’t always get along and there are some very bad people after this one.”
His tone is so ominous it makes me shrivel in fear. I hitch up the bottom of my gown so I can bend my knees so I can get more comfortable. I don’t plan on leaving until I know every detail of this horrific thing I’ve gotten myself into.
“Wait,” I say as I think over what he just said. “Why are you here? You’re not…” I don’t want to say the word. “You’re not…immortal, right? You’re not one of them?”
“I am not one of them,” Theo says evenly. “I would never lie to innocent people and then steal their life force from them.” He runs a hand through the grass, then looks up at me. I smile a little, because I know I can trust Theo. He’s broken this huge secret because he also trusts me.
“I’m glad,” I say, reaching for his hand.
“It’s more complicated than that, love.” He reaches for the collar of his shirt. Pulls it down.
There’s a thick silver chain around his neck. A blue gemstone pendant presses against his chest.
“I am not a member of the Rosewood Clan,” he says softly. “But I am immortal.”
Chapter 27
Theo braces himself. He must expect some kind of backlash from me, but I’m all out of energy. At this point, God Himself could come down from the heavens and hand me some cotton candy made from clouds and I wouldn’t be surprised. This is all too surreal. I can’t function. I can’t understand.
“How old are you?” I ask.
“Ninety seven.”
“How old were you when you became…like this?”
“Twenty two.”
I nod and then look at my hands because I’m unable to meet his eyes right now. My mind is a swirl of thoughts, emotions, and fear.
“We need to get back,” Theo says. He rises and offers a hand to help me up. “I’ll answer any question you have, but we need to get off the premises first.”
I let him pull me up but I drop his hand as soon as I’m on my own feet. I brush the dirt and grass from my backside and then try to see the back part of it in the moonlight. Luckily, it�
�s already pretty dark and the dress isn’t showing any dirt.
“Here’s the deal,” Theo says as he picks up my shoes and carries them in one hand while we make the trek back to my house. “You should act enamored, like we just met and we are crushing on each other. It needs to be believable, okay? They can’t suspect anything.”
I roll my eyes. “It would have been more than believable if you’d never told me about this epically huge and terrifying secret world of people,” I say. “It would have been actually true.”
“Listen—” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I know you’re dealing with a lot of shit right now. I remember when I found out about immortality—but we can’t let them know anything is out of the ordinary.”
I nod. Even though we’re both doomed to die soon, I don’t want to let anything happen that would put Riley’s life in danger. “I’ll be the best damn actress on earth,” I say.
He smiles down at me. “So, what’s our story? We met and you fell head over heels for me at first sight?”
I roll my eyes. “We met and you fell for me at first sight. I wasn’t really feeling it, but you begged and begged and asked me to go on a walk with you, so I obliged.”
His grin is so cute it almost makes me forget about the horrors of what my life has become. “I suppose we can go with that story…”
“Good,” I say, bumping into him with my shoulder. He smiles, and I smile back, and it hurts my insides because everything is not okay. Nothing will ever be okay again.
This is literally hell.
We make it back to the party and although my mind is reeling with the severity of the situation, I try to stay calm. I make swoony eyes at Theo and hold onto his elbow and act like I’m totally in love with him. It comes easily, all this swooning. In another world, he might have been my soul mate, after all.
Riley walks over to us, a glass of wine in her hand. “Where have you been, lady?” she says all flirty like, like she knows exactly where I’ve been. She doesn’t even look like the same person to me now that I know the terrible secret of the bracelet on her wrist.
