Delia's Shadow

by Moyer, Jaime Lee

  I turned for my first look at home, the house I’d missed for three years. On the outside everything appeared exactly the same. Morning glory vines ambled up one side of the porch and across the top, blossoms shut tight against the night and ready to open at sunrise. Nasturtiums spilled out of window boxes in ribbons of yellow and orange flowers and saucer-shaped leaves. My father and mother’s will made Esther my guardian, and provided me with a substantial trust as well as income from my father’s real-estate holdings. I could afford to buy a house of my own in San Francisco or anywhere I chose, but this place and the people inside held my heart. This was home.

  But even if things appeared unchanged, I knew that wasn’t true. I couldn’t resume my old life and go on as if I’d never gone away.

  Shadow was already waiting on the walk, stoic and expectant.

  Gabe

  Gabe pulled back on the reins just enough to slow the horses to a walk. The buggy crept past the house, allowing him to keep Jack’s fiancée and her friend in sight until the front door closed behind them. He poked his partner with an elbow. “Sit up, Jack, and stop worrying. Sadie’s safe inside and the cab is gone. They won’t go out again tonight.”

  Jack uncurled from his crouch and sat on the seat properly. He slicked back unruly red-brown hair and settled his hat down tight. “Thanks for your help. I wanted to take a few hours’ leave this evening and go with her to meet Delia’s train, but Sadie wouldn’t hear of it. She’s perfectly capable of getting to the train station and back, but with all that’s happened—I just didn’t feel easy about her being out alone.”

  “If that was Victoria I’d do exactly the same thing right now.” Saying her name never got easier. Nine years had passed since Victoria and their unborn child had died in the fire that swept the city after the quake. Gabe mourned each and every day. He might have saved them if he’d been home and not out on patrol when the quake struck. Not knowing added guilt to his grief.

  Gabe guided the horses around the corner at the end of the block, away from the well-to-do houses on Russian Hill and toward Nob Hill’s mansions. He watched the shadows for movement and anything that didn’t belong. On a workday evening, most of the residents were tucked in for the night. Anyone skulking near houses or walking the streets most likely didn’t belong. “Have you told Sadie anything?”

  “Not yet. I don’t want to frighten her, not until I’ve no choice. I keep hoping one of us will catch the killer and telling Sadie I’ve been keeping secrets won’t be necessary.” Jack yanked his hat off again, raking fingers through his hair and adding to his disheveled look. The dampness in the air only made his hair and mustache curl tighter. “Patrolling this neighborhood is a waste of time. It gave me an excuse to follow Sadie home tonight, but that’s the only good I can see.”

  Gabe gestured at the well-kept mansions, manicured front gardens, and ornamental iron fences. “Police patrols until the ‘unpleasantness’ is resolved will keep San Francisco’s leading citizens off the mayor’s back.”

  “I doubt the esteemed citizens of Nob Hill know anything about what’s happened.” Jack fell silent for half a block, the scowl on his face deepening with each darkened house they passed. “Is the paper going to print the latest letter? The editor and the chief were still yelling in Cap’s office when I left.”

  Three letters sat in Gabe’s files, each addressed in a careful hand to the editor of The Examiner, and detailing how the killer’s victims suffered. If the person writing the letters were telling the truth, there were more victims than the police knew. A lot more.

  Gabe’s hands curled into fists, the reins digging furrows into his skin. He was positive the handwriting on the pale blue envelopes and cheap stationery was identical to the old letters in his father’s files. The muscles in the back of his neck twitched each time he thought of the symbols drawn in place of a signature. “The newest message threatened people visiting the fair if the letters aren’t on the front page by tomorrow. Printing them could cause panic. Not printing them means people could die. The chief is in a bad spot either way. And I don’t know how the mayor thinks he can keep this quiet.”

  “I don’t know how we’re expected to catch this killer, either.” Jack smothered a yawn with the back of his hand. “Not if every detective on the force is watching the wrong neighborhoods. This butcher’s been one step ahead for weeks.”

  The buggy crested the hill. Gabe hesitated at the top before turning away from gated mansions and rich people sleeping soundly. No one would miss them if they spent the last two hours of their shift driving other neighborhoods. Parts of the city never slept. Those were the streets they needed to be on.

  “We won’t be patrolling up here much longer, Jack. Time is running out.” He smiled, grim and without humor. “People from all over the world are in San Francisco for the Pan Pacific. Printing his letters won’t stop him from expanding his hunting ground. He wants the attention a killing in a public place will bring him.”

  Jack put his foot up on the buggy front and rested an arm on his knee. “And what’s to stop him from moving on again when the entire police force converges on the fair?”

  “Nothing. But I don’t think he will.” Gabe shrugged. “Call it a hunch, but I think he’ll stick around as long as he’s getting the publicity he wants or we catch him.”

  “Then I guess we better catch him. Any idea how we go about that?”

  “Not yet.” Gabe’s stomach churned, his father’s stories whirling in his head. Captain Matthew Ryan worked five years on the letter writer’s murders and the killings stopped as suddenly as they’d started. That he’d never brought the killer to justice still haunted his father. “We’ll find a way. I’m not letting him get away.”

  He bit his tongue before the words “not again” slipped out. Gabe hadn’t told Jack about the letters in his father’s files, not yet. He’d needed to satisfy his doubts about the similarities and that his memory was sound. Until then, it was only a hunch. His father had taught him hunches had no real place in police work.

  Someday Gabe might even believe that.

  CHAPTER 2

  Delia

  I set my bag down in the front hall and the house settled around me, wrapping me in familiar things. Smells drifted from the kitchen: the scent of fresh-baked bread and cookies, roast beef and honeyed yams from dinner. The wallpaper had faded more but otherwise hadn’t changed. Tiny roses still marched in straight rows to the high ceiling, the pattern disappearing into gloom the lamps never chased away.

  No ghosts filled the hall or the parts of the sitting room I could see from the door, none but Shadow. Home might be more of a haven than I’d hoped.

  Sadie hung her hat and coat on the hall tree near the door. A shake of her head and the curls settled perfectly into place. “Are you hungry? I know Annie planned on keeping food warm for you.”

  “Starving.” My hair didn’t curl and shaking my head the way Sadie had would gain me a face full of straight, mouse brown strands, not angelic charm. I tugged off my hat and brushed fine wisps that had escaped hairpins off my face. “But I don’t want to keep Esther up too late. Food can wait until I’ve said hello.”

  She took my hand and led me up the curving staircase. “Don’t be surprised if Mother’s sleeping when we reach her room. She sleeps more than she’s awake most days. And, Dee, I should warn you. She’s awfully thin and her memory’s not what it was. Don’t be offended if she doesn’t know you right off.”

  “Your last letter warned she was growing worse.” I trailed fingers on the darkwood banister, oil from my skin leaving streaks on the polished surface. Sadness mixed with the joy of coming home. Change happened when you weren’t watching. “I’m prepared.”

  “You think you are, but you’re not.” Sadie squeezed my fingers. “I’ve seen her every day of the three years you’ve been gone and I’m not prepared for what I find each morning. Do your best. I can’t say it gets easier, but you learn ways to cope.”

  A glance ov
er my shoulder showed Shadow right where I expected her to be, gliding a few steps behind. Her attention was fixed on the top of the stairs and she leaned slightly forward, her expression anxious, as if she wanted to rush ahead. The ghost had changed since we arrived in the city, more alert to her surroundings and showing me more than an unchanging, placid stare.

  Counting steps kept me from thinking too hard about what that might mean. Facing Esther’s decline came before puzzling over my problematic ghost.

  My mother had been Esther Larkin’s best friend, just as Sadie was mine. Esther had invited me on a grand adventure during the spring of 1906, a present for my sixteenth birthday. Traveling with her and Sadie down the coast was my first trip away from my parents, and I felt quite grown-up. We spent the last week in a red-roofed hotel in Coronado, its sweeping porches and round-topped turrets combining to make me feel as if I slept in a storybook castle. Eating breakfast on the terrace, waves whispering over sand yards away, added to my feeling of being the princess in a fairy tale.

  We got news of the quake the day before we were to start for home. Esther held me together while I waited for word from my parents, word that never came. Once we were allowed to return home, I moved in with Sadie and Esther. She stepped into my mother’s shoes and I was as much her daughter as Sadie.

  Sadie went into the bedroom ahead of me. Esther was awake, scribbling in one of her journals as she had every night for as long as I’d known her. Her curly hair had thinned as much as her body and the color had leached away, leaving puffs white as milkweed down. She looked up and smiled, shaky and frail, but bright as her daughter.

  “Delia! Come in, come in.” She set the journal aside and patted the bed. “Sit with me and visit. I’m glad you came home early this evening. It’s been too long since you came in to say good night.”

  Sadie and I traded looks. Esther knew me, but didn’t remember I’d been gone. Maybe morning would be better, after she’d rested and wasn’t so tired. I leaned to kiss her soft cheek, determined to make the best of it. She smelled of talcum and rose water. “You’re right; I should come in more often. I’ll try to do better, Mama Esther.”

  She patted my face with a shaking hand, confusion clouding her eyes. Confusion did little to dim her smile. “I wouldn’t deny you time with your friends. You need to see more of that polite young man who likes you so much, not waste your evenings with an old woman. But when you get in early enough, peek in before bed. I sleep easier when I know both you and Sadie are home safe.”

  Tears burned my eyes and I cradled her hand between mine. “How was your day? Did Annie bring up any of the cookies she baked?”

  “My days seldom change. I won’t bore you with the story of my promenade down the hallway and back.” Esther peered about my shoulder. “Delia, where are your manners? Leaving your friend standing in the hall is extremely rude. Please invite her in and introduce me properly.”

  Shadow stood on the threshold, hands folded at her waist, watching Esther intently and ignoring me. She didn’t step any farther into the room even after being invited and I was glad. The ghost loomed like a shadow of death in the doorway, poised to claim Esther. That I’d led her here, even unknowingly, suddenly felt like a betrayal.

  Sadie sucked in a quivering breath, on the edge of tears. She’d guessed who Esther saw. “Mama, we didn’t bring anyone home. You’re having another one of your spells. I think it’s best if I tuck you in so you can get some sleep now.”

  “You didn’t?” She peeked around me again, certainty wilting. The light went out of Esther’s faltering smile and I knew Shadow was gone. “I could have sworn … I know I saw a girl standing in the doorway.”

  “You’re just tired.” Sadie turned off the big floor lamp in the corner, leaving only a small light on near the door. Her cheerful smile might fool Esther, but not me. “A good night’s sleep will make a world of difference.”

  Sadie and I eased her mother down on the pillows and tucked the coverlet around her. I kissed Esther on the cheek again. “Sleep well. I’ll come eat breakfast with you in the morning. Would you like that?”

  She nodded, brow crinkled in puzzlement. “If you like. Who are you again?”

  “I’m Delia. Remember?” I smoothed her hair, keeping my voice calm and struggling to smile. Calm was far from how I felt. “I’ve come home again.”

  Esther shut her eyes, tears pooling in the corners. “Oh, Delia … I’m so glad you’re back. They told me you died in the quake.”

  She thought I was my mother. Each breath stuck in my throat so that I couldn’t speak. I fled into the hallway, exhausted and unable to bear more. Sadie murmured to Esther, soothing her as you would a small child, and shame joined grief. I’d broken in five minutes. Sadie had borne the burden alone for nearly three years.

  Hugging arms over my chest did little to warm me. The air in the hallway had turned so cold I expected to see my breath cloud. Shadow stood at the end of the hall, keeping her distance from the bedroom door, but positioned to keep me in sight. Green eyes stared at me, the ghost’s gaze intense and aware, trying to convey a silent message. “Say something,” I whispered. “I don’t know what you want. Tell me.”

  She glided a step closer, hand extended. The memory of brushing death again and again was too fresh and raw for me to brave taking Shadow’s hand. I stepped back, shaking my head. “No, I can’t do that. Find another way to tell me. Find a way to speak so I can understand.”

  The ghost dropped her hand and didn’t pursue me. She looked toward the bedroom again, drawn by Sadie’s soft voice and Esther’s mumbled answers, and her fingers wrapped around the cross at her throat. Shadow’s eyes met mine for a moment in silent pleading. Then she was gone.

  Gone for now, but I knew not forever. I slumped against the wall, shivering in the lingering chill.

  Sadie stepped into view and closed the bedroom door softly. She leaned against the wall with me, offering companionship. “Mother’s already asleep. Dee, I have to ask … the girl Mama saw in the doorway…”

  “Shadow was watching us talk. I’m surprised, but I think Esther saw the ghost.” I took a breath, unwilling to think too much about possible answers, all of which came back to how little time Esther had left. I wasn’t ready to face that. Not yet. “I can’t explain how or why. As far as I know Shadow hasn’t shown herself to anyone but me. But I’m far from an expert on ghosts.”

  She chewed her lip for a moment and nodded. Sadie understood the implications perfectly. “Come on, Dee. Annie will feed you and then you can get some sleep. This was a rougher homecoming for you than I’d imagined.”

  “I’m fine.” I took a breath and brushed hair out of my eyes. “Hungry, but fine.”

  Sadie raised an eyebrow, looking down on me from her height advantage of two and one quarter inches. “No, you’re not. But I’m not going to quarrel with you about putting on a brave face tonight. I’ll save that for breakfast. You’ll be able to argue back and hold your own once you’ve rested. It’s more fun that way.”

  “I’m sorry, Sadie. I’d have come home sooner if I’d known.” I led the way down the stairs, hunger a burning coal in the pit of my stomach. Food and sleep would help set things right, just as long as I could swallow past the lump in my throat. “It’s not fair you’ve coped alone. Now that I’m home, I’m staying.”

  “I wasn’t alone, Annie was here. And I had Jack to help. He’s good with Mama.” Sadie smiled shyly and ducked her head. I’d only heard of Jack through letters, but the softness of her expression while saying his name made me like him sight unseen. “I haven’t been left on my own.”

  “I’ll be staying in any case.” Shadow’s seeking me out put an end to the foolish notion that I’d left ghosts behind by leaving San Francisco. Spirits would find me no matter where I was and I needed to face up to that. Whatever the reason she led me home, I was grateful. I didn’t want to miss Esther’s last days. In any case, the students at Saint Celia’s School for Girls wouldn’t even notice
I’d gone. “I’ll send a telegram to the school and have the rest of my things sent.”

  We reached the bottom of the stairs and my stomach rumbled loudly enough to make Sadie laugh. She slipped an arm around my shoulders. “I’m glad you’re not going back to New York. I’ve missed you. And I wouldn’t want to attempt planning this wedding without you. Jack and I have talked about marriage for a long time, but we only made it official last Friday. We both agreed to skip the engagement party and go straight to the wedding. There’s a great deal to be done in the next six weeks.”

  I paused at the kitchen door. Annie always knew everything that went on in the house, but I still lowered my voice. “Six weeks is a scandalously short engagement. People will talk.”

  Sadie’s chin came up, haughty and proud. People much older than either of us wilted when she turned that look on them. “Let them talk. When Daddy’s heart began to fail the doctors swore he had years left, but we lost him in less than a month. I can’t risk waiting. I want my mother at my wedding. Six weeks might be all the time I have to spare. Mama won’t remember a thing about what went on, but I’ll know she was there.”

  She wore the brave face now, but I’d not bet against Sadie Larkin taking on San Francisco society and winning. And I’d be right beside her, ready to battle with anyone who breathed an untrue word.

  I pushed open the kitchen door and held it for her. “We’ll get started in the morning. First we’ll eat breakfast with Mama Esther and have that quarrel over my bravery if you’re still keen on it. Afterward we should visit a seamstress to see about a wedding dress. Making a dress and fittings will take the longest, so we should see to that immediately.”

  Sadie’s eyes swam with tears. “I won’t forget this, Dee. I promise.”

  I gave her a gentle shove into the kitchen and put on a smile for Annie. My heart was too full, all the words I could have said in answer gone. Leaving home had been a mistake. I’d not lost my problems, if anything I’d gained more in the form of Shadow and the mystery surrounding her. All I’d lost was time with the people I loved.