by Rayne, Piper
“Whoa, we’re still at school.” I wipe my mouth.
He smirks. “I’m no longer a teacher here.”
“Oh, that’s right.” I smile, and he corners me against my desk, his hands on either side of my hips.
“Yeah, so I could lay you down right here on your desk…”
I place my hand on his chest. “Except for the fact that I’m still employed here.”
He shrugs. “True. So.” He grabs my hand and pulls me forward until I fall into his arms. “No one can argue if I save you from falling on your face.”
I laugh, and he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. I’m really going to miss that.
“I suppose that’s true,” I say.
Knock. I dislodge myself from Austin’s arms.
Fay stands in the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“It’s okay, Austin was just trying to…” I wave her off. “Forget it. I’m exhausted from trying to cover it up.”
Fay laughs and enters the room. “I just wanted to say goodbye, Austin.”
“Oh, Fay, like I said, it’s not goodbye. I’ll be back for Thanksgiving.” He opens his arms, and Fay walks right into them.
“I know, but it’s not the same. Who will eat my butterscotch candies if the Baileys aren’t here?”
I sit on the edge of my desk, feeling as though I’m witnessing a private moment I probably shouldn’t.
“Holly will steal one a day.” Austin looks over his shoulder at me.
“Yep. Maybe two some days.”
Fay smiles and playfully hits Austin’s shoulder. She steps back and grips his hands. “Your parents would be proud.”
“Would they? I’ve had my doubts these last weeks,” he says.
She shakes her head. “All they ever wanted was for all of you to be happy. They never cared whether you lived in Lake Starlight or Timbuktu. As long as you’re happy.”
“Yeah?”
She nods. “The day you were born, I went to the hospital and your mom handed you to me. Your parents were the first of our friends to have kids, and I jokingly asked how bad childbirth was.”
Austin and I wait with bated breath.
“She said it hurt like a bitch, like squeezing a bowling ball through a straw.”
Austin looks at me behind him, laughing.
She squeezes his hands. “Then she told me that she never really knew where she fit. With her traveling so much for work, she worried about giving that up for a family and whether she’d be able to juggle the two. But she said one look at you, and she knew.”
“Knew what?” Austin asks.
“She knew where she fit. That her most important role was motherhood.”
“I always thought she resented having me early. That she wasn’t able to travel as much as she wanted.”
Watching the two of them interact is mesmerizing, and although I should be excusing myself, I’m don’t.
Fay sneaks a peek at me. “You’ll find out one day that life has a way of changing what’s most important to you. That’s the great thing about life—nothing is ever really set in stone.” Fay kisses his cheek and falls back down to her heels. She points at me. “I’ll see you for summer school.”
As Fay leaves the room, Austin turns around his grin wide and his eyes thoughtful.
“We should probably get going,” I say, pulling the strap of my purse onto my shoulder. “Where are we headed?”
“We’re going to Lakeside Grill. It’s family style.”
He grips my hand, and as he guides us out of the building, a thought plagues me like the flu. This is the last time we’ll walk out of here as… well, I can’t give us a specific classification. But in two days, things between us are going to change forever.
“Do you mind if we come back for your car?” he asks when we hit the parking lot.
My gaze shifts to the families talking and lingering around the grounds, taking pictures.
“Remember, I don’t work here anymore,” he whispers, opening the door and waiting for me to climb in.
As we drive away, Austin waves with the smile of a man who’s bound for greatness. I admire that smile, because that feeling has to sustain me the next two days. Austin deserves this chance, and I’m not going to be the one asking him to set it aside.
* * *
The restaurant is on the shore of Lake Starlight, and I have no idea why I’ve never heard about it.
“What kind of food do they have?” I ask as we approach.
Austin parks in the lot. “American. A little of everything.”
I climb out of the Jeep before he reaches me.
“One day you’ll let me open that door for you.”
I smile at him. “Sure, tomorrow you can open my door.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
In the last few weeks, Austin has treated me like a girlfriend even though we were sneaking around and I’m not officially anything to him. Boyfriends open girlfriends’ doors, and I have no idea why I pick that stupid sign of chivalry to rebel against, but it seems like a line I don’t want to cross.
On the way into the restaurant, his hand rests on the small of my back. We step into a dark room with windows looking out over the lake and hear the loud clatter of noise from a private room off to the side.
“That would be them.” His hand slides down my arm, and he clasps my hand.
Everything about this feels like he’s mine. Like he’s not leaving in two days. Like we’re on our way to being something real. I keep telling myself to push away that hope, remembering the agreement, otherwise I’m going to be left brokenhearted, but that’s getting harder and harder to do.
We step into the room and all eyes shift to us, the chaos of a large family silenced.
“Hey, you guys know Holly.” Austin drags me through the room and deposits me across from Savannah as he takes the seat next to me.
I look at her, and she turns her attention to Grandma Dori. “Grandma, can you pass the bread?”
“I thought you didn’t eat bread?” Grandma Dori asks her, winking my way.
“Today’s a special day.” She snatches the basket out of Grandma Dori’s hands before she can fully hand it to her.
“Do you have your period?” Grandma Dori asks, which gets the guys all cringing and groaning.
Uncle Brian surprises me by coming to sit next to me. “So, is Karen coming?”
I draw back. “No.”
“Oh, too bad. You know, she’s really got quite the green thumb. I mean, her garden is looking marvelous and she just moved in.”
I nod.
“We talked about maybe selling some of her vegetables at the farmer’s market. You’re going to love it here in the summer. There’s a farmer’s market every Saturday and Sunday morning in the parking lot of the library. If spring was enough to get you to stay here, wait until summer.”
I smile. He seems like a nice man. “I’m a little scared for winter.”
He laughs. “You should be. Aust—one of us will make sure you have enough wood for the fireplace and help you clear the driveway if we get dumped on with snow.”
“I can come over and check on you, Holly,” Denver says. At least I think it’s Denver. I still have a hard time telling the difference between him and Rome.
“Like hell you will.” Austin throws a roll at him, which he catches and chomps a big bite out of it.
“Hey, you’ll be in sunny California while we’re stuck in darkness for days,” Rome says. Again, I think it’s Rome and not Denver.
Austin’s hand lands on my thigh under the table. I slide my hand under, linking our fingers. How can something so right come with the worst possible timing?
“How’s that relationship with your dad?” Savannah asks, silencing the table.
“Savannah,” Austin warns, but I squeeze his hand.
“Actually, it turns out that it’s not going to go anywhere.”
Now it’s Austin squeezing my hand.
I never t
old him about my outburst at the restaurant or the nasty gossip my dad told me. I left it at the fact that he’d never wanted a relationship with me before and doesn’t really want one now. Which seems to be the truth, since I haven’t heard from him since that day.
“Oh,” Savannah says, looking chagrined.
“I’m very sorry, sweetie,” Grandma Dori says in a genuine tone.
“Thank you. I can’t be too mad. He’s what led me here.”
Austin removes his hand from mine, standing from the table. “Excuse me.”
He can’t leave. What is he thinking? Leaving me mid-conversation with his family? With longing, I watch him go, because I feel Savannah’s eyes on my face, and I have no idea if she’s done prodding me or not. I turn, and there are her brown hues that match Austin’s.
“Why did you decide to stay in Lake Starlight then?” she asks, breaking apart her second roll.
“I… um… I just like it here.” I shrug.
“What’s not to like? You’re not the first person who got sucked in,” Grandma Dori interjects, shooting a warning glare at Savannah.
Austin comes back into the room, Savannah’s gaze following him all the way to his seat.
“Don’t forget, Grandma,” Savannah says. “Some people want to get out too. It’s usually an either/or, never in between.”
Austin places his napkin in his lap. “What is?”
“Loving Lake Starlight. Some people love it and others don’t. We were trying to figure out why Holly wants to stay here.”
“Let it go,” Austin grumbles.
“Do you need some of my oils, Savannah? I have a lavender/bergamot mix in my bag. It might help chill you out,” Brooklyn says.
Savannah ignores her and leans forward in my direction, dropping the rest of her roll on the table. “I’m sorry, what?”
Grandma Dori pats Savannah’s hand. “Now isn’t the time.”
“Isn’t it? It’s perfect. The twins have graduated, and Austin gets to flee from his responsibilities in a couple days. Might as well hash it all out now.”
“Why are they called the twins? We’re twins too.” Denver leans back, resting on the two back legs of his chair.
Everyone’s gaze shoots to him before they move back to Austin and Savannah having a showdown as though they’re eight and playing who blinks first.
“Get off the damn soapbox. You said you understood why I was leaving,” Austin says.
Savannah stands and throws her napkin on the chair. “You’re so fucking blind.” She storms from the room.
“Austin,” Grandma Dori’s tone insinuates a lot.
“This is bullshit.” Austin throws his own napkin on his chair and leaves the room.
“So, like I was saying about your mom…” Uncle Brian moves the conversation along as if nothing happened.
“It’s just a little sibling spat,” Grandma Dori says when she sees my puzzled expression.
I smile at all of them, thinking I should’ve declined Austin’s invitation to dinner.
Thirty-Seven
Austin
I find Savannah on the patio overlooking Lake Starlight, her back to me as she sways on the porch swing installed there.
“Mind telling me what the hell is wrong with you?” I ask.
She looks at me, her eyes rimmed with red and her fingers brushing away tears. “You know I can’t handle my feelings.”
I chuckle, easing the tension and breaking the distance between us. “At Mom and Dad’s funeral, you yelled at the funeral director for going too slow on the way to the cemetery.”
I sit down beside her on the swing, and she knocks shoulders with mine.
“I’m sorry. I know I put on a good face about you leaving and you have every right to, but I just… I can’t help but feel like everything’s being dumped in my lap and I don’t know if I can handle it all without you. The business is finally starting to do really well since I took over. Rome is back and wanting to open a restaurant. Brooklyn’s wedding is next year. We were a team, and I think I probably feel like Holly should be a mess too. Obviously she can handle her feelings.” She laughs. “Remind me to apologize to her. I’m sorry about all the crap I’m giving you and her.”
I nod. This is Savannah—she runs hot. Especially when she’s feeling emotions she doesn’t want to. “So, you don’t think she’s a spy now?”
She giggles. “No, I don’t. At the time, I thought that she’d be another reason for you to leave here, that the two of you would go to California together, and if you had her, you might be more okay with leaving Lake Starlight.”
“That’s why you thought she was the enemy?”
Savannah shrugs, her eyes never meeting mine. “That, and a little bit of who her dad is. She’s not from here. I never thought she’d want to stay. Especially after all the shit she took about you and her outside Lucky’s.” She looks at me. “She’s tough.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“I actually like her.” She huffs as though she can’t believe it herself. “You guys fit well together.”
I think back to what Fay said my mother felt after having me. “You know I’m only a phone call or plane ride away. If the family becomes too much, call me. I’m not going to California and forgetting my family.”
“That’s too rational for me to comprehend.” A smile tips her lips. “You know, you’ve sacrificed so much. You deserve to get what you want.”
“Thanks.”
I’m so sick of everyone saying that. I didn’t sacrifice, I changed course for a while. My life in Lake Starlight hasn’t been a prison sentence. I reconnected with Jack and got to be his best man when he married Francie. I saw my siblings grow up, and I grew closer to them than I would’ve had I stayed in California. I was able to spend more time with Grandma Dori as she aged.
“We don’t know what my future would have been if they hadn’t passed away,” I say.
“That’s the thing, right? We’re always chasing what we think it was supposed to have been like. I wonder if I’d stayed on course, would I really want to run Bailey Timber Corp? What if none of us had wanted to take over the company from Dad? Would a sleazeball like Clint Edison have bought it? There’re so many unanswered questions we’ll never know the answers to. They died and you came back, and I took over the company. I think it’s time we forget the what-ifs and live for the what-can-bes.” Her hand lands on my knee, and she squeezes before she walks to the railing.
“You have a point, I guess.” I meet her at the railing.
Both of us stare at the lake, Main Street on the other side. I spot a few graduates and their families smiling and laughing as they make their way along the sidewalk. Bright futures, venturing out to live their lives.
“Just do me a favor.” Savannah’s voice is low and melancholy.
I turn and face her. “What?”
“Don’t live for the past. Live for the future you really want to have.”
I nod.
“Now I’m going to apologize to your girl—to Holly.” She squeezes my shoulder before she walks away.
Crossing my arms, I feel her words about the future I want wrap around me and squeeze the breath out of my lungs. I stare at the lake, and again that nagging feeling tugs at my gut.
I shake off the feeling and head back inside. Things can go south with my family pretty quickly.
* * *
“I can’t believe your sister apologized,” Holly says from the passenger seat of my Jeep.
The rest of dinner was good, and the conversation stayed lighthearted after Savannah and I returned to the table.
“Yeah. One thing about Savannah, she usually admits when she did wrong.”
“It was nice of her.” Holly’s smiling as she watches Lake Starlight go by in the window.
“You really like it here, huh?”
She smiles and nods. “I do. I can’t describe it. I mean, I get why you want to leave. It’s not the town or the people, it’s the opportunity that lies elsew
here. For me though, I feel like I’ve tried to find somewhere I fit all my life, and it just feels right here. That’s the best way I can explain it.”
I clear my throat. There’s that word fit again.
“It’s a good explanation, and I get what you mean. I’m sure I’ll miss it. Both good and bad.” I pull up to her car in the high school parking lot. It’s dark now, no life inside the building. “Can I come over tonight?”
Her hand is already on the handle. “Um…” Her head turns down, and she takes my hand. “I think we need to rip off the Band-Aid.”
I shake my head. “No. I have such little time left here.”
“That you should be spending with your family.”
“They don’t care.”
She looks at me with that “you’re wrong, they do” look. I sink back in my seat.
“What about tomorrow?” I ask.
She brings her face to mine, placing the softest kiss on my lips. She draws back, and a tear slips from her eye. “We have to say goodbye.”
A stabbing sensation pierces my heart because I know her answer before she even says it. “I can’t change your mind, can I?”
She smiles and shakes her head. Her lips press to mine once more, and this kiss feels like a goodbye. She rests her forehead to mine. “You got this.”
One last kiss, then the interior light illuminates us and she’s climbing out. As I try to pull air into my lungs, I feel as if I was just punched in the gut.
“Wait.” I grab her hand. “We could do the long-distance thing. Why are we saying goodbye? We don’t have to.”
A small smile forms on her lips. “We’re both too old to pretend that would work. This is your time. Take the opportunity.” She shuts the door, and the sound feels final somehow.
She unlocks her car and slides in. I wave out the window, and soon it’s only my Jeep in the parking lot as I stare at the dark high school that’s as empty as I feel right now.
Thirty-Eight
Holly
I throw my keys on the couch, run up the stairs, and trade my dress for pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. Back downstairs, I grab a bottle of white wine from the fridge and plop down on the couch, ready to commence the ritual of ridding Austin Bailey from my memory and my heart.
