by Gwyn McNamee
I sigh and look toward the passing city again. “Okayish. And on my way there.”
“Shit. Do you have a fucking death wish?”
At one point in my life, I would have responded yes. When Rea came into our lives, I was nothing but a shell of a man. I’d done so many unspeakable things, I was certain there was no soul left to be saved. But one small smile from the green-eyed angel assured me there was still a heart beating in my chest and something alive deeper inside me.
Something that is clawing at my ribcage trying to get to her now.
“No, but I have a plan.”
A long, drawn out sigh reaches me through the phone. “I was afraid you'd say that.”
My chest burns and I rub it absently and immediately regret moving my left arm. “Are you gonna help me or not?”
We’ve been through a lot together. More than any one person should ever have to experience both in the military at home and working for Tarek after we made it to the States. Lorenc has always been my friend and my confidant, and I know disappearing with Jade, without giving him any warning, was a real punch to the nuts. But I couldn't call him. I couldn't say a word to anyone because even a whisper of what we were about to do would've been a death sentence for everyone.
I'm counting on him hating my brother as much as I do, even if he was always loyal. But it's been two years, and I've no idea what's been happening since I left. For all I know, they could be best buddies at this point.
“Of course, I'll help you. Your brother's turned into even more of a maniacal psychopath since you've been gone. Swear to God, that guy is unhinged.”
Which is exactly what I’ve been worried about. “Have you seen Jade?”
“Who the fuck is Jade?”
“Oh shit, sorry, I mean Rea.” I had to force myself to think of her by her new name. A slip of the tongue could have been enough to reveal our true identities. It’s hard to think of her as anything but Jade now. She became Jade, and I became Griffin when we left Philly. Konstandin and Rea died the day we fled.
“No, he hasn't been back here after he grabbed her. He's keeping a low profile, but I have a few ideas where he might be. It's not like him not to have guards with him…just another reason I believe he's not thinking clearly anymore. Even after word got to us of what happened in Montana and in Chicago, he still won't tell us where he is to offer him protection. It's like he's become fucking paranoid that everyone is out to get him.”
He should be paranoid, but paranoia is not going to be enough to stop me from reaching my goal—his head on a fucking stake.
FOURTEEN
The dark night sky is the perfect backdrop to the lit Philadelphia skyline. I never thought I'd be back here. And I wish it were under completely different circumstances, like my brother’s funeral. But that will come soon enough.
My love for this city runs deep. It's my second home and the place where I met her. But it's also my brother’s city…one that's dark and deadly. One where people are waiting around every fucking corner to shoot me or slit my throat.
This isn’t a pleasure trip, although finally ending my brother will bring me extraordinary pleasure. This is necessity now.
The car Lorenc secured is waiting when I climb off the train. The sleek black sedan is both ostentatious and inconspicuous in my brother’s world. It's going to be a lot easier getting in and out of these places undetected if I blend in. The change of clothes he left in the backseat fits me perfectly, and as I walk out of the bathroom at the Amtrak station and make my way back toward the car, I can't help but feel like my old self.
My self before Jade.
My self before love.
My self before having anything to live for.
My self…the one who had absolutely everything he could ever want and also nothing.
A quick peek around the parking lot assures me I'm alone, and I pop the trunk to examine its contents. It's just as Lorenc promised. A duffel bag full of C-4, fuses, guns, ammo…everything I could possibly need to complete my plan.
Well, almost everything. I'm going to need a lot of luck and for things to go perfectly right to pull this off and still walk out alive.
But even if I don’t make it, as long as Jade is safe and Tarek is dead, I’ll have succeeded in my mission.
The engine rumbles and I peel away from the station toward the apartment Lorenc set up for me.
Tonight, I plan, I prepare, I sleep in a bed alone for the first time in two years, or at least attempt to.
Tomorrow, the shit is going to hit the fan, along with a whole fucking lot of blood hitting the floor.
***
By the time I’m done with my preparations, my arm throbs so badly, I’m forced to down two of the tramadol the vet gave me.
I hate drugs and normally wouldn’t leave myself so exposed and vulnerable in the middle of such a shit show, but I need to sleep, really fucking sleep, to be able to do what needs to be done tomorrow. And the only way that’s going to happen is with the help of some narcotics.
A warm, fuzzy haze descends on me.
But the euphoria filling me doesn’t touch what it’s like to be with Jade.
Her small, soft hands roaming over my body.
Stroking.
Caressing.
Scratching.
An unbidden moan slips from my mouth into the pillow.
Then I remember where she is now, who she’s with, and my stomach roils.
Swallowing down the bile, I turn onto my side and try not to think about it.
But it’s useless, and I race to the bathroom and heave over the toilet.
I can’t even remember the last time I threw up. Maybe when I had the flu as a child? Mami would make soup and rock me on her lap while Tarek made attempt after attempt to steal her attention from me. Even back then, he was a fucking dick.
Where most people outgrow pettiness and jealousy, his lingered, he just learned to hide it better. I always knew it was there, festering just beneath the surface, but as we grew, we bonded over our shared experiences and struggles. And when he begged me to leave Albania with him, to come to America to start over and expand his newborn business, I jumped at the chance, even if it meant being under his thumb at the time.
I can’t say I regret the decision, because it brought me to her. But I would give anything to have met her in any other place, any other time, any other life.
Crawling back into the bed, I feel ten times weaker than I did only half an hour ago.
I need sleep. I’m useless to her without it.
So I let the fog envelop me again.
Vivid memories swirl through my head.
Stolen glances.
Soft touches.
Tangled limbs.
Sparring tongues.
Laughter.
Squealing tires.
Tears.
Warm wet flesh.
Green eyes looking up at me with love and adoration.
Whispered I love yous.
The echoed sound of her words is what finally drags me down into the dark abyss of sleep.
FIFTEEN
The building is inconspicuous enough. It’s really nothing more than an old warehouse converted into a storefront business selling lawn-care items.
A front for my brother’s drug operation, just one of the many dirty rackets he has his hands in.
It’s served him well for many years. Either the cops don’t know or don’t care about it, and the ones who do know are paid to keep away and keep their mouths shut. Money talks, and as much as people don’t want to believe the men in blue can succumb to its siren’s call…they’re only human. They have bills, they have families, they have wants and dreams, and a little extra cash for turning a blind eye is something many are willing to accept.
Dawn is still two hours away, so all is dark and quiet for the time being.
It won’t stay that way long.
Four of Tarek’s men will arrive around six a.m., ready to spend the day sitting in the back office, bul
lshitting in between shipments while a clueless employee stands in the front in case any customers actually show up. My brother is good at one thing, he’s managed to keep a few people in the dark so if things go to shit, they can’t tell the cops anything if one he hasn’t managed to pay off accidentally stumbles in. I’m sure the employees suspect something shady, but Tarek’s men are scary enough to prevent questions.
I slip into the side entrance using the same passcode that’s been in place for as long as Tarek has owned the building. The moron didn’t even bother to change it after I left. Whoever is handling his security doesn’t have a fucking clue.
Maneuvering through the dark, I make my way to the back offices and open yet another door that should have been secured. It’s almost like he’s begging me to do this.
Poker chips and cards lie scattered across the table, leftover from their last game, and empty beer bottles overflow from the trash bin.
The bomb goes in the most obvious place…smack dab in the middle of the underside of the table. The blast will take out his men but leave the innocents out front unharmed. No matter how much I hate my brother, I'll do what I can to avoid collateral damage. The blast will also draw the police to the warehouse and any stock that isn’t destroyed by the rest of the bombs will be confiscated.
If I were going to let him live, he’d be going away for the rest of his life. But Tarek will never see the inside of a jail cell. All he’ll see is my face before his life ends.
Four more bombs placed in various locations around the main warehouse guarantee total annihilation of this location. Once assured everything is perfect, I head back out without leaving a trace. No one will know I was ever here until the whole place is up in smoke.
Tarek’s empire is vast, but he centralizes most of his operations here in Philly. It makes taking off the head of the snake easier.
Three more warehouses. Twelve more bombs.
Then I make my way to the one place I had hoped to never return.
My brother's headquarters.
The bakery is a legitimate business run by one of our cousins who also came over from Albania. I hate that I have to do this to her. But Tarek set it up as a front almost immediately and took over the back portion and the upper floors of the building.
Lorenc already told me Tarek hasn't shown his face here with Jade, and I believe him. He has no reason to lie unless he's in bed with my brother, which I highly doubt given the amount of firepower and help he's provided since our telephone call.
He’s also been staking out the other locations he suspected Tarek may be holed up. But the effort is futile. I know where my brother is. He's arrogant enough to think he's safe there. And it will be my next stop as soon as I get this place wired.
Getting in and out of here undetected is going to be a lot harder than at the warehouses. There's always someone here. The bakery runs twenty-four hours in order to keep up with the demand of the various specialty markets it provides baked goods for. And Tarek would never leave the throne of his empire unprotected.
But he did leave it weak.
I make my way to the fire escape that runs along the side of the building. I begged him to have it removed a hundred times, or at least, have it wired with motion sensors, given how easily someone can get in and out undetected this way, but again, my brother thought he knew better and didn't take my advice, much to my benefit currently. The window to his office pops open easily from the old jamb, and I crawl in and take stock of the room I haven't set foot in for over two years.
The same large wooden desk dominates the space and photographs of my brother and various friends and acquaintances of high-ranking stature line the walls. Tarek is always such a whore, kissing ass, and licking the boots of anyone who can get him anywhere or anyone he would look good standing next to.
One picture in the room, in particular, draws my attention.
Jade…
It must have been from the first couple of days when she came to him all those years ago, though I’ve never seen it before. I doubt it was taken with her knowledge.
Her hair billows out behind her in the wind as she leans over the railing staring out to the vastness of the ocean. A small smile tugs at the corner of her lip, but the sadness in her eyes is apparent even in the profile view. She knew what her father had done to her even then, and my brother was too big of an asshole to let her go even though it was the right thing to do.
Well, it's time she's free of him. She chose her monster and it's me.
SIXTEEN
The small two-story bungalow sits on a quiet cul-de-sac in Trappe. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it five years ago, and I knew I had to have it despite really not needing all that space just for myself.
It was more about the distance it put between me and Tarek, between me and that world. When I wasn't working, I needed the empty space. My head was already filled by the faces and voices and cries of those I've killed, I didn't need them crowding me in a one-bedroom apartment somewhere downtown too.
The curtains are drawn, and it's still early enough there's no movement at any of the neighbors’ homes. My watch reads 6:30 AM.
He'll be awake by now. He's never been able to break the habit of 5 AM wake ups. Just like me, the military drilled it into him, and it’s impossible to overcome the routine.
Before I can do anything, I make a necessary phone call.
“Hello?” The soft voice belies her dominant stature and overbearing presence.
My mother’s cousin Drita is a force to be reckoned with, and I've missed her dearly since we left. She became a second mother to us and has always been there, no questions asked, for whatever we need from her. And she’s not afraid to speak her mind, even to me and my brother.
“Drita, teto, it's Konstandin.”
Her audible gasp reaches through the line. “Konstandin, djalosh, where have you been? I've been worried sick about you. Your brother…” she trails off. The words don’t need to be voiced. She knows what it means for me to be making contact with her. She knows there's only one reason I would be back.
“Drita, you and all the employees need to leave the building at precisely seven o'clock.”
A brief silence descends as she contemplates my words.
“Okay, Konstandin. Whatever you need, dear.”
“I'm sorry it has to end this way.”
She sighs. I can practically picture her resting her chin in her hand, her gray hair piled atop her head in the ever-present bun.
“Your mother would be appalled at what your brother has become, Konstandin. You do whatever you need to do.”
I didn't expect Drita’s blessing, but it certainly sets my mind at ease about what I'm about to do to her business.
“There's a duffel bag full of cash in the third oven from the left. Take it with you when you leave.” I managed to sneak it in there when one of the bakers stepped out for a smoke break.
“Are you never coming back after you get her?”
I sigh and scrub my hand over my face, my arm screaming at the movement. “I don't know, Drita. But I want you to be taken care of, no matter what happens, you and the rest of the family. Take care of Adelina.”
Just thinking about my sister, at home with her husband and children, blissfully unaware of what’s about to happen, makes my eyes burn.
“Have you spoken with her?”
“No. I can’t put her in between me and Tarek. I’m sure he was hard enough on her when I left. I’ll not tell her what I have planned.”
Maybe it’s a dick move, but my sister has managed to escape all the turmoil Tarek has created and made a real life for herself. I don’t need to drag her into this mess now.
“Shkoni me Perëndinë.”
Her words have tears pricking in my eyes, the first since Jade told me she loved me. The same words my mother used to say haven’t touched my ears in almost twenty years.
“So, take care of yourself, Konstandin.”
The line goes dead.
It’s done.
I can finally focus my attention on my real purpose. Getting my woman back and setting us free.
A haze of dawn touches the horizon when I slip from the car parked several blocks down the road. Branches and bushes pull and scratch at me as I make my way through backyards to the side of my house.
Even without any signs of life from inside, I’m confident he’s here. It’s just one more way for him to have what’s mine, to show Jade he can and will take and possess whatever he wants.
Given the time, he will break her down until she’s nothing but a shell of herself, someone even I can’t recognize. But that won’t happen. Rivers of blood will flood Philly before I ever let Tarek destroy her.
SEVENTEEN
The moment I open the back kitchen door, her scent invades my nostrils, and my cock stirs to life.
Cinnamon and sugar.
All things sweet and pure.
She’s here.
There’s not a doubt in my mind. Her presence wraps around me like a warm blanket, soothing my soul, and enforcing my will to do what needs to be done.
Vivid memories of fucking her on the kitchen counter, against the hallway wall, and making love to her in my bed flood my mind. Fuck Tarek for tainting my home, my memories, by bringing her here.
My hand tightens around the grip of the 1911, and I move into the kitchen slowly, my eyes never leaving the doorway to the living room. When I reach the jamb, I take a deep breath and then peer around the corner.
No sounds.
No movement.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Something’s wrong.
Step by agonizingly slow step, I make my way down the hallway, passing the open bathroom door.
No steam on the mirror.
The door to the guest bedroom hangs open.
Rumpled sheets cover the bed, but no other signs of life permeate the air.
Where the fuck are they?
There’s no way she isn’t here. Jade and I only spent one night here together. The night before we left to start our new lives. There wasn’t time for her scent and presence to invade the space the way they do now.
