by S. T. Bende
Oh, God, oh God, oh God.
Freia’s eyes rested on Erik. There was such compassion in their blue depths, it very nearly broke my heart.
“But what does it mean?” Erik’s voice cracked.
Freia smiled sadly before turning to me. “It means that you have a very difficult choice to make. Are you ready to return to the world in which you were born? Or do you wish to remain a part of ours?”
Chapter 22
MY HEART POUNDED AS I stared at the dagger—the one that had proven useless when I’d been ready to go home, and had suddenly decided to work now that I was finally settled in this life. Months ago I’d been homesick, scared, and most importantly, not engaged to the man I knew without a doubt to be my perfect match. Now that everything had changed, now that I was well and truly happy . . . now it decided to work?
What the hell was I supposed to do with that?
“Saga, you need to breathe.” Erik reached over to take both of my hands in his. I drew a shaky breath as I looked up at him, taking in his tense jaw, haunted eyes, and the absolute heartbreak emanating from his entire body.
How could I possibly walk away from him?
“Listen to me.” Erik’s chin gave the slightest of quivers. “I said I’d support whatever you decided—that if you were to remain here, it would be by your own choice. Not mine, not my family’s, and not that fickle blade’s. Yours.”
My chest tightened. The last time the dagger had been active, Erik had been ready to send me home. He hadn’t asked me to stay.
It had nearly broken my heart.
“Erik,” I began.
“No. You need to hear this.” Erik pulled his shoulders back, as if summoning some invisible strength I most certainly did not feel right then.
Oh, God.
“You need to know that I want you to be happy. That whatever your dreams are for your life, I will support them. No matter how much it pains me.”
“Erik, I—”
“If you miss your family,” he continued, “which I know that you do. If you miss them, and you want to return to them, I won’t force you to stay. I will never stand in the way of you living the life you desire. I will always be your fiercest champion. Always.”
Moisture welled behind my eyelids, and I blinked fiercely in a futile effort to keep it at bay.
“But Saga . . .” A sheen of tears coated Erik’s eyes. “. . . I don’t know how I’d go on without you. For so long, my world was nothing but darkness. And then you came into it and filled it with light, and hope, and joy, and . . . and awe. You see things as if for the first time, and it reminds me of how truly blessed I am to be here. Now. With you. Fighting for something the world desperately needs, alongside the person I needed all along. I want you here with me, always at my side. Challenging me and frustrating me and pushing me to be the very best version of myself. Reminding me of why we’re here, and what we’re called to do. Filling my soul with a peace I thought I’d never attain, and one I most certainly don’t deserve.” Erik leaned down to press his forehead to mine. “I said I wouldn’t force you, and I won’t. But please, Saga. Please don’t go. You are my heart.”
The dam broke, and tears streamed freely down my cheeks. Yes, I missed Mormor. And Olivia. And the rest of my cousins, and my aunt and uncle. And the internet. And coffee. But none of that could compare to the loss I’d feel if I had to live a single day separated from Erik—much less an entire lifetime. I loved him with everything I was, and everything I’d ever be. He was my heart . . . and he was my home.
There had never even been a choice.
“I love you, Erik.” My voice cracked over the words. “And I’m not going anywhere. Ever again.”
Erik slipped his arms around my back and crushed me against him in a hug that left me breathless. His heart thundered against my chest, the steadiness of its cadence a near perfect match to mine. He brought his hand to my hair and gently tugged, pulling my head back before crashing his lips against my own. This wasn’t a gentle kiss—it was urgent, demanding. Erik was staking his claim, affirming that I was his from now until forever. No clan, no war, no time-traveling dagger would ever be able to separate us.
Ever.
An eternity passed before we pulled apart. My breath came in ragged gasps as I pressed my cheek to Erik’s chest.
“I’m not leaving you,” I vowed.
“Good.” His arms tightened around me.
“Now that that’s settled, perhaps we should put the dagger away?” Freia’s lilting voice made me jump. I’d completely forgotten she and Halvar were there.
Oops.
“Good idea,” Erik growled. “Throw it into the sea if you have to. I don’t want to see that thing again for a long time.”
“Actually,” I hemmed. “I had another idea.”
Erik’s torso stiffened.
“Nothing like that,” I hastened. “I don’t want to go anywhere. But I do want my family to know that I’m all right. I doubt that blade left any kind of clue as to what happened to me, and they probably think I’m dead. I don’t want them to worry.”
Erik exhaled slowly. “Right. Well, then. We need to let them know. Can the dagger communicate messages? Or does it just transport people?”
“We may never know what it’s fully capable of,” Freia said. “But anything is worth a try.”
Halvar studied the blade. “Since we know it transported Saga, it may be capable of sending other things through time. Things like, perhaps, a letter?”
My eyes widened. “Yes! I’ll write my family a note!”
“And we will go to the sacred ground together to send it.” Freia nodded. “But first, sweet girl, you must get some sleep. It’s been a tremendous day, but there’s much work ahead. We need to be in top form if we’re to plan a wedding, contact your family, and open Valkyris to the world.”
It was, to be sure, one hell of a to-do list.
“Thank you.” I pulled away from Erik to clasp Freia’s hands. “For everything. I’m so grateful for you.”
“And I for you . . .” Freia kissed each of my cheeks. “. . . my daughter.”
My throat tightened again, and I blinked rapidly to keep my emotions at bay.
“Come, Saga.” Erik’s hand on my shoulder pulled me back. “You need rest.”
“We all do,” Freia agreed. “We can reconvene in a few hours.”
“Or days,” Halvar said with a yawn. “I may sleep for a week.”
“Good night, then.” I glanced at the window. Outside, light was just beginning to peek over the mountaintops. “Or, good morning, I suppose.”
“Go.” Freia waved us away. “Come back when you’re rested.”
With a wave, Erik held tight to my hand and guided me through the door. He pulled it closed behind us, and marched determinedly down the hall. When we reached his room, I put my hand on my hips and tilted my head.
“You’re not going to walk me back to the academy?”
“You’re staying with me,” he said firmly. “Tonight. Tomorrow night. And all the nights after that.”
Finally.
I pushed my bottom lip out, feigning disappointment. “And I so liked the view of the fjord from my room.”
Erik scooped me into his arms, then bent down and spoke softly into my ear. “I think you’ll find my room to be every bit as pleasant. Possibly more so.”
I shrugged. “If you say so.”
Erik raised a brow before pushing the door open and carrying me into his room. And for the next few hours, he dedicated himself to showing me exactly how pleasant his room could be.
Chapter 23
TWO WEEKS HAD PASSED since we’d defeated Bjorn. During that time, I’d written my family, and gnawed my fingernails to stubs while Freia used the dagger to send my letter into a sparkly void. I’d attached a blank piece of parchment to my note, hoping Mormor would be able to send something back. But as the days passed, I came to accept that my words had taken a one-way trip—if they’d arrived at
all. Since there was nothing I could do to change that, I resolved not to stress over it anymore.
If there was one thing the Vikings had taught me, it was that there was little point in worrying. We worked hard, took what actions we could to solve our problems, and hoped that the rest would sort itself out.
I only wished that my family could see how happy I was in my new life.
Erik and Axel had taken off on dragons a few days after the battle. They hadn’t told me where they were going, only that they’d be perfectly safe, and that Katrin and I were to focus on drafting the worldwide conversion plan. Ingrid and Vidia had volunteered to help, and as we worked I couldn’t help but notice the shift that had happened between Vidia and Katrin. I’d been so focused on converting the northern clans, then preparing for the battle, I’d somehow missed the easy relationship that had grown between them. They shared quiet smiles and easy laughs as they jotted notes on pieces of parchment. When Vidia reached over to rest her hand atop Katrin’s, my heart nearly burst with joy. Our time in Bjorn had been so dark, I honestly hadn’t known how we’d make it through. But Vidia, just like Ingrid and me, had found peace in our new life. Peace, happiness, and from the looks of it, love.
Things just had a way of working themselves out.
Helene spent the weeks after the battle working on an herb-based remedy with Zaan. They’d both been stationed at Valkyris East during the battle, and the two healing students had seen firsthand the need to slow excessive blood loss. They’d thrown themselves into creating a congealant—one that would, hopefully, mitigate damages until a patient could be properly treated. Zaan hadn’t made a marriage offer yet, but Helene was so sweet and so smart, he’d be a fool not to pursue her. If he didn’t make his move soon, I’d whack him over the head and knock some sense into him.
Nicely, of course.
Raynor had finally come home. He’d moved back into his room in the family suite, and appeared to have rededicated himself to not only acting as an amicable member of Valkyris, but also to looking after Brigga. He checked in on her often, bringing food to her room during the early days when she was too grief-stricken to function, and then sitting with her in the dining hall and making sure she actually ate once she was ready to rejoin the living. It would be some time before I could look at either of them without the lens of suspicion that had filtered my view, but I knew that they were working things out in their own ways. I hoped that someday, things would be easy between us.
I knew Freia and Halvar hoped that, too.
As for Ingrid, she’d managed to put a lid on the pain she was surely feeling. Her father’s betrayal, then redemption, then death, were still fresh. But as our academy graduation neared, she doubled down on her fight training. She was determined to earn her spot in the Shieldmaiden Squadron. I knew Axel had checked in on her a few times before he’d taken off with Erik. Since the battle, things had been different between them. Axel still got under her skin, but Ingrid appeared to have warmed to him slightly. He’d asked me to watch out for her while he was gone, and as much as I wanted to ask her how she felt about him, I knew she had enough on her plate without having to deal with the thought of a relationship. Though I hoped, for both of their sakes, they’d find their way to each other. I still thought they’d make the perfect match.
As the days went on, Ingrid mastered all of the defensive maneuvers required for the Shieldmaiden Squadron tryouts, Katrin and I developed a functional draft of our global plan, Helene crafted a prototype of the congealing remedy, and Raynor agreed to teach an academy class—on conversions, no less. He’d brought the greatest number of clans into our fold, and though some of his ideals remained outdated, there was no denying that he was an expert in the subject. We needed his help in training the next wave of explorers.
The sun shone brightly the day before graduation. My friends and I spent the morning helping Helene decorate the courtyard for the ceremony. After lunch, the girls headed back outside to string fairy lights, while I went to check on the dragons. I was alone in the Dragehus when the barn door banged open. I looked up from Borg’s pen, which she now shared with only one of the other Littles due to their increased size. My spine straightened when I spotted my betrothed and his best friend leading their dragons to their stalls. They both wore ear-to-ear grins, which they wiped from their faces the moment I stood up.
“Oh. Hi, Saga,” Axel said. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just checking on these guys.” I tilted my head at Borg, who stretched her neck up to nuzzle my shoulder. I scratched her head fondly, my lips turning up at the sight of the Viking I loved, home at last. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me too.” Erik shifted from one foot to the other. Beside him, Axel studied the ground.
“Okay, out with it.” I arched my brow. “Why do you both look guilty?”
“What? No. No guilt here.” Erik shook his head. “Just two riders home from a mission, happy to see everything’s back to normal.”
“Erik. What’s going on?”
Axel’s shoulders shook and he pressed his lips together in a firm line.
“Axel . . .” I stared at him until he broke.
“Sorry, I can’t do this!” Laughter exploded from his mouth. “Erik got you a wedding gift. I think it’s terrible, but apparently, I don’t know the first thing about women. Or so he tells me.”
I brought my hand to my mouth. “Is that why you left? To bring me a present?”
Erik glared at Axel. “You can leave now.”
Axel led his dragon into a stall. He didn’t stop laughing until he’d removed its saddle and made his way to the door. “Don’t be too sad, Saga. He’ll get better at gift-giving . . . or not!”
Erik shook his head as he stabled his own dragon. I helped him remove the saddle, then followed him to the hay pile in the corner of the Dragehus. He pulled me down on his lap, and kissed me soundly before withdrawing a bag from his cloak.
“Contrary to what Axel believes, I’m pretty sure you’re going to like this.”
“I’ll love any gift you give me.” I reached up to stroke his beard. “But you don’t have to go away to get me something. I’d rather have you.”
“I think you’d rather have this.” Erik tugged on the string, and the pouch opened. A cluster of ruby-hued berries was nestled inside.
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “Are those what I think they are?”
“Ja.” Erik held up the bag.
I drew a slow inhale, absorbing a note unlike any I’d smelled before. The berries would require some processing, but I had no doubt their sweet scent could be transformed into the tantalizing aroma thought I’d never breathe again. “Where did you find this?”
“In the east. I had Katrin pull every available record from the dissemination logs. It took some searching, but eventually, we tracked it down.”
I blinked at the Viking who’d brought me the treat I missed most from my old life. “I can’t believe you found me coffee.”
“The Dragehus was our second stop. On the way in, we left several plants with our farmers. And when we go back to the castle, I’ll get my mother’s approval to use an älva handler to ensure rapid growth. If things go as I’m hoping, we’ll have a functional crop in no time.”
I threw my arms around Erik’s neck. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, a thousand million thank yous. This is everything.”
“It’s a start.” He chuckled. “I can’t have you regretting your decision to stay.”
“I’ll never regret my choice,” I said softly. “Being with you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Erik.”
“And I love you.” He pressed his lips to mine. My stomach flipped as I squirmed against him, deepening the kiss until I’d very nearly forgotten who—or where—I was.
“Ahem.”
I tore my fingers away from the home they’d found under Erik’s tunic, and looked guiltily toward the door. Axel stood with his arms crossed and an amused smirk o
n his face.
“Go away, Axel,” Erik groaned.
“I would,” Axel said without a hint of remorse. “But I ran into Freia, and she asked me to send you to her suite. Apparently, she’s received some kind of communication from someone who knows you, Saga. What’s that about?”
I blinked up at Erik. “She got a note back?”
Erik jumped to his feet, pulling me after him.
“Wait!” I bent over to pick up the satchel. “Don’t spill my coffee!”
“Seriously? You actually like what he brought you?” Axel shuddered. “That stuff smelled horrible.”
“Axel Andersson, don’t you dare speak ill of my wedding gift.”
Axel shook his head as Erik and I walked toward the door. “I will never understand women.”
“Someday you might.” I patted his cheek as I passed him. “Ingrid’s setting up the courtyard for graduation, if you were looking for her.”
“What? I—no, I was just—”
“See you later,” I called sweetly.
And with Axel spluttering behind me, I followed my Viking fiancé back to the castle where, I hoped, a piece of my family was waiting.
I held tight to Erik’s hand as we nodded at the guards outside his parents’ suite.
“Are you all right?” He paused with his hand on the door.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“Hey.” Erik reached up to tug my bottom lip free from my teeth. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
“I know. It’s just . . I’ve missed almost a whole year, and this is probably the last time I’m ever going to hear from them. I wouldn’t change anything—I want to be with you. Forever,” I added as Erik’s brow furrowed. “It’s just hard to realize this is the end of that chapter. You know?”
Erik cupped my face between his hands. “I do. And we’ll find ways to bring your clan into our life. We’ll cook their recipes, honor their traditions, tell our children about the amazing people who raised the strongest woman I know. They’ll be a part of our family, even if it’s not in the way we wish they could.”
