“Even if I said yes, we’d pass out from hunger.” Her stomach and hobbit-style eating habits were the current voice of reason. Her mind was too busy imagining him in her shower. “Extra towels are in the cabinet and Raul returned your duffel bag, so you have clean clothes, right? There’s a washer and dryer in the bathroom. You can throw your dirty clothes in there. I’ll add mine and run a load of laundry tonight.”
She had plenty of practical tasks to throw between them. She could keep this up all night.
“Even if I clean up, you’ll still be a dirty lady.” Jason stepped closer to her and his tone had gone deep and suggestive. “That’s very tempting.”
She opened her mouth, but the cutting retort she had stuck there. Sharp words came out of her as easily as breathing. There’d been moments, memories as far back as her school days, when she’d pushed someone away with hurtful words and it’d been too far. Now she was torn because she wanted him to back off, but she also hoped he would stay just close enough. Total conflict.
He stilled, watching her. “Are you okay?”
She decided to be honest with him, again. “I’m thinking too hard. People tend to get tired of it and find something more…amenable…while I’m doing that.”
“Ah.” There was understanding in his gaze and she wasn’t sure if it was uncomfortable or a relief.
Nothing about how she was feeling at the moment was normal. He’d extended a blatant invitation, but she didn’t know how to tell him what she wanted, only what she didn’t. “I don’t want sex.”
Jason rocked back on his heels. As rejections went, her message should’ve been clear, but there was more. There was a maelstrom behind her dark eyes, and he wondered how many people had heard her words and walked away from her. He admired so many aspects of her, but he was starting to realize words were not her strength.
“Okay.” As much as he wanted sex, it wasn’t all he wanted, and he was still exploring what that meant to him.
“Please don’t leave.” Her voice came in almost a whisper and almost cracked at the end. The request cost her something, a barricade or emotional wall of some kind. Standing there, she was vulnerable and bracing herself.
Whatever he did next could hurt her and maybe she hadn’t admitted the reality of it to herself, but the knowledge hit him in the sternum. Hard.
“Mind if I sit?”
She shrugged, uncertain. This was definitely a new side of her.
He made his way over to the small sofa in her living area, making sure to face her as he moved and not give her his back. He guessed she might’ve seen people’s backs too often in her life as they went on with their own lives and hadn’t noticed how very alone they’d left her.
“Why don’t you join me?” He patted the cushion next to him. “We can turn on your television and relax some. We were up before dawn to catch the flight over here from Big Island and you seemed like you stood through your whole meeting with your teammate. Take a little weight off.”
He figured coaxing her to relax was like approaching a tiger or other large predator. He went with the cautious, non-threatening approach. Of course, if he was too nice, she might get her back up again just because she’d be suspicious of his motives. Every person had layers of trust and comfort and with Arin, those were interlaced with a hell of a lot of personal defenses. He’d be stupid to assume he’d earned his way through all of them.
“Look, there’s a lot going on.” There was the defensive tone. She wrapped her arms around herself. “I need to process it all, not lose my mind.”
A zing shot through him. It was damned good to know he could do that to her. He’d love to do it to her again, when she wanted it. Instead, he raced through the possible responses to figure out how he could keep her from withdrawing completely. “How can I help?”
Her fingers clenched harder around her upper arms as she hugged herself even more tightly. “Not sure. I feel like I need to let off some kind of steam or I’m going to explode.”
Anyone as dangerous as Arin Siri had to find a release valve, otherwise she’d blow up and there could very likely be an inordinate amount of blood and/or body parts involved. He understood, because he faced a similar problem.
She did move, finally, and when she came to the sofa he was almost surprised. He’d already been formulating a plan B. She sat facing him, with one knee bent and pulled up against her chest.
He shook his head and enjoyed her puzzlement. “Turn around. I figure I owe you a lot and we’re not at a bar, so the least I can do is give you a shoulder rub. I bet you’re all tied up in knots.”
After another hesitation, she shifted around and gave him her back. Another layer, but so far in his time with Arin, she’d been more willing to risk physical vulnerability than emotional.
He set his palms on her and started warming up the taut muscles across her shoulders. “Why was your sister at a convention that would have a book like Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries for sale?”
Arin rolled her head, stretching her neck muscles as he kneaded the stiffness out of the area between her shoulder blades. “A lot of the victims of human trafficking come from overseas because the easiest targets are tourists traveling in places foreign to them. People go missing and anyone who cares enough to look for them is far away, in a different country.”
She sighed as he hit a particularly tight spot. He resisted the urge to kiss the place, right in the curve where her shoulder met her neck. Instead he continued to carefully stretch and ease the tightness there.
After an appreciative murmur, she continued, “But some victims are taken right here in the islands. Locals go to the mall or attend fan conventions. It could be an anime or science fiction convention, any number of themed events. In a big place like that, people go missing. It’s hard to track who a missing person might’ve interacted with at an event like that. My sister’s organization works with con security to keep an eye out for those kinds of traps. I’m guessing the book was from some sort of comic con, or something.”
“Interesting.” Actually, he liked comics a little. “I’ve read some comics now and again. I’ve worked with people who had collections. I kind of envied them, actually.”
“Mmm.” She sighed. “Why?”
He considered it. “They retired after they made a decent chunk of money. It doesn’t take long in our biz if you don’t have a gambling habit or anything. They had homes to go back to or plans to buy some place in line with their idea of happy.”
“A lot of people have that idea of happy.”
He grunted in agreement. “When you have a place to go to over and over, then you tend to accumulate stuff to fill that personal space. I don’t really have any place I consider a home base.”
She was starting to relax into his hands and it was easier than he’d thought it would be to converse, not just listen or make small talk, but actually trade back and forth. Being near her like this was another memory he was going to tuck away and pull out in lonelier days when his ambition took him to other places. It didn’t escape his notice that she seemed better at answering questions than volunteering information.
“How do you make your home for yourself?” He wasn’t sure she was going to answer, but he’d been curious.
She didn’t pull away, but she tensed. “What do you mean?”
“This apartment doesn’t have many personal belongings. It’s not full of personal pictures or diplomas or awards, the way some people put their lives up on the walls. There’s just a couple of items, like the little replica of the blue police box I can see on your nightstand over in the bedroom. Things with stories not everyone will recognize. But it feels like you when you walk in the door.” He cleared his throat, uncomfortable, but he’d already started. If this was helping her let go of some of her tension, then it was worth it. “The two places you reserved over on the Big Island felt like you, too. It was like the minute you walked into those rooms, they were yours. It was nice.”
Ther
e was a moment of silence, then she whispered, “Thank you.”
They both said nothing and he focused on working the tension out of her shoulders. The tip of her ponytail brushed across the backs of his hands as he kneaded the tight muscles, and he thought about how glorious her hair was when she let it loose.
“I guess I’ve always traveled a lot. So if I’m going to be away from home, I pick places that match my mood.” She tilted her head, first to one side and then the other, stretching as he worked.
“Ah.” He started using his elbow to apply steady pressure to trigger points in an effort to get the knots in her muscles to release. “That’s something I never really paid attention to. A hotel room is a hotel room to me, and I never thought about it as anything but a place to catch some sleep. I’ve even gone for those little cubbies in some countries where it’s more like a drawer they tuck you into for the night.”
She chuckled. “To each their own.”
“But I only ever thought about the cheapest rate to pay for the bare minimum of what I needed,” he clarified. “You actually live as you’re doing things with your life. I like that.”
This, settling on a couch with her and enjoying her company, was the best time he’d had in a freaking long time.
“Why are you so frugal about the places you stay?” She turned partly to look at him.
Oh no, that was too tempting, even if she wasn’t trying to give him the come-hither look over her shoulder. He put his fingertips to the base of her skull, gently turning her head to face away from him as he worked on the delicate muscles of her neck. “Save money. I keep putting it away.”
“For what?” she asked innocently.
He paused to consider. He’d never really talked about his end goals out loud to anyone. They were only half formed. Better to go with the short term. “To be my own boss. I’d like to work freelance and I need buffer to do that. Sometimes you have to front the cost of travel to do a job, then collect on completion.”
“True.” Her acceptance was a relief.
Maybe he wanted her to dig a little deeper, but she shouldn’t have to. He just wasn’t ready to offer anything more up right now.
“So why are you so grumpy about your sister giving you a gift?” Coming back to the topic of her sister might bring Arin’s tension back a little but she did need to vent some, too. If he could help her let go of her tension and also work through some of the pent-up worry, it’d be better than her tensing back up later. “She thought of you and got you a thing. It does seem to fit you in a fun way, too. Why not read it?”
“She’s a lot more considerate than she used to be.” Arin sighed. As she tipped her head to one side again, her neck popped, releasing tightness right next to her upper spine. “She’s an adult now, not the kid I remember, and she doesn’t need me.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Jason wouldn’t want that kind of burden. It was why he hadn’t been in touch with his parents since he’d left home. But maybe Arin was the sort to want to be needed by people.
“No,” she admitted. “Not at all. I left home to go into the military when she was a teen. Well, maybe not even a teen yet, really. I kept in touch and even visited over the years, but never really came back. Then she went to college and we barely communicated besides the occasional email. She only came to the island recently. Interacting with her now, all the time, is taking more out of me than I can keep up with while I’m trying to adjust to her being an adult. It’d suck if I went on treating her like my kid sister. I keep catching myself and correcting.”
“You wouldn’t like it if the positions were reversed.” If he’d had siblings, he wouldn’t like it either.
“I wouldn’t. I’m trying not to smother her either.” Arin huffed out a laugh. “Intellectually, I know she’s an adult and I mostly say all the right things as if she is all grown up, but deep inside I’m still trying to save her from bullies. Maybe because I wasn’t around as she figured out how to handle them on her own.”
Jason laughed with her. “In your defense, she seems to be a magnet for the sort of trouble a normal person isn’t equipped to fend off on their own.”
“True.” Arin stretched forward as he started to work his way to her lower back. “But she has Raul. He’s my best friend and he is absolutely capable of watching out for her. She is also above and beyond the normal person. She’s brilliant. She doesn’t need me, and we’d get along a hell of a lot better if I wasn’t so used to making her my all-consuming priority when she’s at the top of my mind.”
Jason paused, both because he needed to pull his brains together when presented with her lean back and gracefully curved hips, and because he was trying to understand her thought process. “Are you saying you need a new hobby?”
Arin snorted. “I wouldn’t put it that way, but yes. I need to let her live her life and get back to building one of my own.”
“You’ve got a damned impressive career.” He worked his way back up her spine and carefully kneaded the tight muscles under her shoulder blades. He couldn’t get over how smooth and soft her skin was. He was incredibly tempted to kiss the nape of her neck, too, but he wouldn’t be able to stop there, and she’d made it clear she didn’t want sex right now. Besides, this was really nice as it was. “How much more do you want to build it up?”
“Establishing a career isn’t the same as building a life for yourself.” She leaned into his hands and he eased her back until she was lying against his chest. He dug his fingers into her thick, silken hair to give her a scalp massage, too.
“It’s not?”
She turned her head, nestling more comfortably against him. “Not for me. There’s…more.”
He listened to her breathing slow and lightened his touch as she fell asleep. He wasn’t sure he’d ever looked at life the way she seemed to. He was building the career he’d planned for himself. This was a small, unplanned detour and the way he was getting to know her was definitely more than he’d intended. But what was more going to mean to him?
Chapter Twelve
Arin closed the trunk of her SUV and slung her beach tote over her shoulder. King bumped her left hip with his shoulder, lifting his nose to catch the breeze. As far as her partner was concerned, this was the closest he’d had to a day of beach fun in a while.
“Why? Why are we here?” Jason exited the vehicle, clutching a coffee in a paper cup in one hand. “And why were we up at oh-five-hundred?”
“Because I wanted to be on the road by oh-five-thirty. Hanauma Bay opens at oh-six-hundred and the parking lot is packed full within an hour. I wanted to get here before it got crowded. We’re meeting a contact and it’s better to talk to him before there are too many people around.” She was inordinately entertained by his obvious dislike of mornings. They’d also slept for most of yesterday afternoon and the entire night. As far as she was concerned, neither of them should be operating on a sleep deficit at this point. True, they’d been on her couch the majority of the time, but she was still more rested than she had been in a while. Rested and…lighter in a lot of ways. She wasn’t completely at ease with how much she’d shared with him yesterday, but she felt so much better. “Don’t fuss. I stopped to get coffee.”
Jason grunted his response, which she took to be something between a thanks and additional grumpy sentiment. She checked King’s service vest, which clearly identified him as a working search and rescue canine, and clipped his leash on his collar. The leash was more for the people they encountered than to control King. He was excellent in his obedience training and well-practiced in working with her in crowds. But GSDs were big dogs and people remained more at ease around King when they saw him on a leash.
They’d arrived ahead of the crowd, right at open, so there was almost no line. Arin gave the person at the ticket booth a smile and paid the entrance fee. Next up was the educational video, which Jason watched at her side with minimal grumbling.
“You think they’re going to update that video sometime soon?” Jason a
sked as they headed down the steep walkway to the beach.
Arin shrugged. She’d seen it and wasn’t required to watch it again within the same year, but it’d seemed crappy to make Jason go in and watch it alone, so she’d gone in with him. “It looks better on a television screen than projected. State park facilities have to pick and choose where their funding goes.”
“I guess.” He looked out and down at the curve of beach and water below them, letting out a low whistle. “I’ve been on the island almost a year now and haven’t ever been here. It’s an impressive sight.”
She agreed, enjoying the view. Hanauma was an almost complete circle, born of volcanic activity bursting up through the sea floor and the ocean itself, then subsiding. The waves had cut their way through the lower southeast wall of the crater and rushed in, forming the bay. Now, the water was a gorgeous blue green and clear enough to see the coral stretching out across the bay floor. The sky beyond the crater wall was mostly clear with only a few clouds overhead and in the distance. It was going to be a sunny, hot morning, perfect for snorkeling.
“It used to be even better for snorkeling but the coral has suffered bleaching from the warmer water temperatures recently.” She frowned. “But we’re not here just for the snorkeling.”
“You mentioned there being an objective to coming out here.”
He was a patient man; she’d give him that. It was a good thing, too, because she tended to wait longer if people nagged her too much. She was contrary that way. “We’re looking for a contact.”
“Ah.” He didn’t say anything further.
So they reached the bottom of the roadway in peace and she looked up and down the sand. “Honestly, this is the last beach I’d have thought he’d be at.”
“Who?” Jason sniffed the air. “Also, I could definitely eat right about now.”
“Snack bar is expensive.” She searched around in her tote and came up with a small wrapped treat. “Here.”
Fierce Justice Page 12
