My eyes narrowed at his reasoning, which… maybe I understood letting it ride because this was his sister’s day, but still. “But your father said something. He responded, and got laughs.”
“Because that’s him,” Eddie explained, shaking his head. “He’s the big brother, of course he can say some shit without anybody getting buck. That’s just the way it is.”
I pushed out a breath through my nose, frustrated by the whole thing – especially Eddie’s lack of caring about it. “And what about what he said? Being “glad you hadn’t brought some rusty nigga around”. That’s cool?”
“Yes,” he laughed as he continued unfolding a chair from the stack he brought. “Astrid… I get all your righteous indignation, and all that, but you have to understand – my father is a sixty-three year old Black man. Army man. That shit he said – that’s progress for him. I remembered him smacking my fucking head in when I tried to tell him I thought I like girls and boys when I was fifteen. Told me he wasn’t going to have any “gay shit” around here. But you know what he also did? Taught me not to let any of these other motherfuckers out here punk me, and if there was ever something I couldn’t handle myself – he did it. You didn’t fuck with Frank’s son. That “rusty nigga” I brought to meet them? Four years ago. So he went from “no gay shit” when I was sixteen, to sitting at the table with my date when I was thirty-two. He wasn’t happy about it, nah. He still isn’t. But he accepts it, because he accepts me, because… that’s my Pops.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” Eddie interrupted, laughing as he grabbed my face, cupping it in his hands. “Chill with the social justice, I’m good, seriously. I’ve known these people all my life, and I know what to expect. My “I ain’t taking this bullshit” line is different with my family than with the rest of the world, Asteroid. That shit? Didn’t even move the needle.”
So I left it.
Because he wasn’t bothered, I tried not to be either, but I really couldn’t help the scowl on my face whenever I came near his uncle. His father though… that infectious laugh and sense of humor slowly won me back over. By the time Erika and Frank shared their father and daughter dance, it was clear in my interaction with the family that Eddie was, by and large, loved and accepted. I had to remind myself that the people I had around me now – my cultivated family – were largely young liberals, many of whom were queer themselves, so I had to adjust my setpoint.v
Everybody wasn’t coming from the same place of acceptance and understanding. For some people, it just took longer than others, and some people would never get it. But a lot of times, the ignorant things that came out of people’s mouths was just that – ignorance. Lack of knowledge, instead of ill will, or purposeful ugliness. That didn’t mean it was supposed to go unchecked, but it did make a difference in taking it personal or not.
But I didn’t want to dwell there.
Instead, I smiled to myself as I peeked at Eddie sitting between his father and his new brother-in-law, with a beer in his hand. They were… bonding, and laughing, and he looked so damn happy that it made me feel happy for him. I’d already picked up that it had been a while since he’d been back here, been home. It seemed like he needed this, and I was glad he was getting it.
“Um… excuse me… Astrid, right?”
I glanced behind me to see a woman I recognized as the groom’s sister, and one of her friends. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m Astrid. Can I help you?”
They exchanged a look. “Well,” she said, leaning in a little bit. “We’re hoping to help you. You aren’t from around here, so maybe you don’t know, but it’s no secret around here that Eddie has… been with men.”
My eyebrow went up, and I tipped my head to the side, waiting for them to give me information I didn’t already know. When neither of them said anything, I frowned. “Uh… that isn’t news to me, ladies. I’m trying to figure out your point here.”
The sister’s friend’s eyes went wide. “So… you know how he gets down, and you’re out here with him anyway? Girl… you’re gorgeous, and young. You deserve better than a man who can’t figure out what he wants.”
“Excuse you? He has figured out what he wants – me. I’m here, aren’t I?” I spouted, even though I was in no position to say such a thing. But I didn’t care. These women didn’t even know my situation with Eddie, yet they felt empowered to speak on it. I had no problem correcting them as if they had us correctly pegged though.
“There’s no need for the attitude – we’re just trying to help you out.”
“Right. Don’t you know what the STD stats for “bi” men look like?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, actually, I do, because I’ve studied those stats for all queer people, and the way that better sex education and health care has improved those numbers over the last decade is amazing. Too bad that the ignorant ideas of people who run with assumptions from clickbait headlines haven’t improved.”
“Are you trying to call somebody stupid?” The friend snapped, stepping closer to me.
I shrugged. “Uh, yeah, I am, if you’re in my face trying to inflate facts to make it seem like all bi men are spreading STD’s, which simply isn’t true, and it’s gross that you’re trying to push that off on Eddie.”
“Nobody is pushing anything off, I just hate to see another Black woman being put at risk.”
“When you make the assumption that he’s putting me at risk, yeah… you kinda are. Meanwhile… when is the last time you got tested? When is the last time your straight man showed you negative STD results? Does he insist on protection every time, or does he “not like” condoms because he claims they’re uncomfortable, or he can’t feel anything? And how many other women is he telling that lie to, huh?”
The friend huffed, and the sister followed suit. “You don’t know shit about me or my man!”
“I could say the same thing to you. You don’t want to date a bi man? Cool. That’s your prerogative. But you should really stay outta people’s face with your faux concern and faulty ass logic.”
With that, I walked away, before I was the one to set it off on Erika’s day.
I couldn’t wait to get back home, where even with it’s imperfections, I wasn’t hammered with stuff like this. While their silliness had been aimed at Eddie, they didn’t realize that they were also attacking my queer identity.
Of course I knew the stats and numbers and all of that around STIs and STDs, because I valued keeping myself safe. They weren’t great. But I also knew that things like racism, poverty, intolerance, lack of healthcare access among other things were contributing factors – it wasn’t all about reckless, risky sexual behavior. And, contrary to grossly popular belief, it wasn’t as if every non-heterosexual person was carrying or spreading disease, so that implication pissed me off too, as if safe sex was just something we didn’t care about.
I cared.
Eddie cared.
When we shared our recent test results with each other, we weren’t anomalies, no matter how well that fit the narrative some people tried to create.
Once I was away from them, I grabbed myself another glass of champagne to swallow. I was upset about that exchange – way more upset than I wanted to be, especially after what had happened earlier. Eddie had mentioned before that there was a double standard that existed, even with our shared identities, and he was right. Did I get bullshit? Sure. But compared to what was lobbed against him…
Ugh.
I needed more champagne.
So I found it, and then I looked around to get my bearings, so I could spot Eddie. He was still with Phillip and Frank, having a good time, but now I felt like everybody was looking at him, judging, and I felt an overwhelming need to… protect him.
So I went over to where he was, and stood in front of him, making all three men look up.
“Hey…,” Eddie said, making me wonder if the waviness I felt wasn’t just in my head. Was I actually swaying?
“Hey,” I answered back, then drop
ped into his lap. “That champagne is… really strong. That’s not what I came to say though… is it?”
He laughed, hooking an arm around my waist to keep me steady. “Because that shit is cheap. How many glasses have you had?”
“Three… or four.”
“Oh, shit,” he chuckled, then looked back and forth between his brother-in-law and his father. “Well, it’s been real, fellas, but I’m gonna take her upstairs and try to sober her up.”
I closed my eyes, fighting against a sudden, reeling headache as he shook hands with both men. And then, I was cooperating as much as I could as he stood up, bringing me with him, then led me into the house.
It was quieter inside, but I could still hear the muffled music, still hear the talking and laughter. Eddie helped me up the stairs, then took me through a door, then sat me down on a couch before he disappeared. The room was dark still – thankfully. I didn’t know if I could handle bright lights at the moment – but I could make out enough shapes to recognize that it was a bedroom – more likely than not, his.
He was only gone for a few moments, and when he came back he flipped on a lamp. Then, he knelt in front of me, taking off my shoes.
“This is your room, isn’t it?” I asked, squinting through even the dim, warm light of the lamp. It was at the desk in front of the window, and illuminated the room enough that I could see the framed basketball posters, and photos of Eddie in various ages around the room. “Did you ever crush on him?” I asked, pointing to a Kobe poster, and Eddie laughed.
“Nah. Idolized him though. Never really had celebrity crushes like that. I need to be around you to want you. Gotta see what your energy is like.”
“You sound like me.” I groaned at the bit of a slur I heard in my speech, knowing it would be worse before it was better.
He shook his head. “You’re a bad influence.”
While I still could, I accepted the clothes – borrowed from his sister - that he handed me, changing out of the pretty little floral romper that wouldn’t have been any fun to sleep in. I hadn’t planned to spend the night here, had been looking forward to stripping it off at the hotel.
But this worked too.
He laughed at me again as I snuggled, way too comfortably, probably, deep into the middle of his bed. “Hey… thank you for being out here with me today. You made this a lot more interesting, and therefore bearable, than it would have been otherwise.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, with my eyes closed. “This…has taught me a lot about you.”
When I opened my eyes to see his face, he was frowning. “Like what?”
“Like… like… mmm.”
I said something else too, or tried to. But exhaustion and cheap liquor took over my tongue, and nothing but mumbled, fumbled words came out. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was a smirk on Eddie’s face as he shook his head, then pulled the covers up over me.
&
Shit.
I had bright light shining in my face, and it took me a second, with my eyes still closed from passing out last night, to realize that it was from the window.
It was morning.
Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes open, but I was slow to sit up, not wanting to set off the headache that was undoubtedly on its way, now that I was awake. Once I did though, I looked around, and the sports posters and framed photos quickly reminded me of where I was.
Eddie’s old room.
Gingerly, I pulled myself to my feet, and the first thing that caught my attention was the desk. There was the lamp he’d turned on last night, and there was also an open sketchbook, with a row of colored pencils beside it.
The book was open to a half-finished page of what appeared to be multicolored dragon scales, so vivid that it almost looked like a photograph.
It was… gorgeous.
“So not only do you take over my bed, your ass is nosy too?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Eddie’s voice, and looked behind me to see him lounging in the open door to his room.
“It was already open,” I defended myself, but didn’t step away. Instead, I looked down at it again, getting a better look. “This is really, really good. I didn’t know you could draw like this.”
When I looked at him again, his eyebrow was hiked. He raised his forearm and pointed. “How can you tattoo if you can’t draw? It’s the same thing. Gotta draw it first to know what you’re doing, and then you can freehand.”
“You tattooed yourself?”
That question earned me another “are you serious?” type of look. “Uhh… yeah. I was my own first canvas. You didn’t know that?”
“There’s a lot I don’t know about you, and vice versa. It’s not as if our time together usually involves much talking.”
He nodded his concession. “I guess you have a point. But… now you know.”
“Do you mind if I flip through?”
“Yeah, actually.” With that, he moved out of the doorway and into the room, flipping the book closed. “It was only out because I forgot it last night. Wasn’t expecting company in my childhood bedroom, but somebody decided to get champagne wasted, so…”
I folded my arms. “Wasted is a stretch, come on.”
“Not that much. Or at all, really. I heard you cursed out Phillip’s sister.”
No she didn’t…
“Of course she ran and tattled and made herself out to be the victim. I didn’t curse her out – I checked her ass, because she came at me with some stupidity.”
Eddie chuckled. “Oh, I know. Yana has always been on some bullshit. She’s still upset that I turned her down a few years ago, so she likes to pretend to be on some “protect black women against downlow men” shit. When really, it’s a “how dare Eddie not want my pussy” mission. Ain’t nobody thinking about her ass.”
“I should have known.” I shook my head. “I really didn’t curse her out though.
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t give a fuck if you did. You think you’re in trouble or something?”
“Am I?” I pushed out a sigh. “After that, and having to spend the night in your room… I’m not like disrespecting her house or anything am I?”
Eddie snorted. “Bye. My parents are so happy I brought home a woman I could go down on you at the kitchen table and they’d just give us some privacy,” he laughed. “Trust me, you’re good. But… my mother does want you downstairs for breakfast if you’re up to it. And Erika wants to meet you.”
“Umm… they do know we’re just friends, right?”
“They don’t give a shit,” Eddie chuckled. “I’ve said it about fifty times between now and Friday, and she just wants to know when to start planning the wedding. She’s going to dream how she wants to dream. And Erika just wants to meet the person I didn’t hate enough to bring them into this house. Or hated enough to bring into this house. One or the other.”
I smirked. “You don’t hate me boy, stop. But umm… I can’t sit at your family’s breakfast table like this! I’m not dressed, and I haven’t even brushed my teeth!”
“Toiletries are waiting for you in the bathroom across the hall, and you’re about as dressed as the rest of us.”
When I glanced down at what he was wearing, that was true. He was just in basketball shorts and a tee shirt, so my leggings and tee weren’t terribly out of place, but still…
“It’s not negotiable, Asteroid. My yoga mat is in the closet over there if you need to hit it for a few, but you’ve got like ten minutes before these biscuits come out of the oven.”
He left me there in the room, ignoring my protests, so I really had no choice except to get moving. I found a new toothbrush in the bathroom like he said, along with soap, lotion, and pretty much anything else I might need. Luckily, my quick braided updo was still intact, so I didn’t have to touch my hair. Exactly ten minutes later, I walked into the kitchen, just as his mother was placing a cast iron skillet full of golden biscuits on the counter.
“Good morning hon
ey,” she called to me. “Go ahead and grab that bowl of fried potatoes and take it out to the dining room. I fried those in butter instead of bacon fat just for you. Eddie said you don’t eat meat, but I hope you don’t mind the rest of us indulging.”
I smiled at her. “Good morning, and no, not at all.”
I did as she asked, taking the bowl out to the dining room where the rest of the family was, setting up the table. Eddie, Frank, Erika and Phillip were all there so I found a place too, helping bring out a mouthwatering spread of food that… was honestly giving me a bit of a headache.
Note to self – never ever drink champagne again.
After Harriet – Eddie’s mother – had said grace, the table conversation revolved around the fixing of plates and passing of dishes, and then there was silence except for the clatter of forks and glasses as everybody tucked into their food. I was seated between Erika and Eddie, and Eddie’s mother kept looking up at us, beaming. After a few times of this, Erika nudged my leg, and leaned in.
“You know she’s thinking – look at my three beautiful kids, right?” she whispered, then laughed.
I quickly swallowed the mouthful of – divine – biscuit I was chewing to whisper back, “Wouldn’t it be four, with Phillip?”
Erika scoffed. “Oh girl no. The police caught me and Phillip getting busy in the bleachers on my prom night. Word got around the neighborhood, and she’s hated him ever since.”
“What are you girls whispering about over there?” Harriet called, and Erika came with a smooth answer before I even processed the question.
“Oh Astrid was wondering how you got the biscuits so buttery and flaky mama,” she said, grinning at me.
Something Like Love (Serendipitous Love Book 6) Page 11
