Forgive Me

by Susan Lewis

  You might have guessed by now that this is a goodbye letter. I want you to know that I’ll always remember you, and I’ll do my best to live up to the opportunities you’ve given me, and to your belief in me. It’s time now for me to free you up and make my own way with Ma. Just know that if there’s ever anything you need and you think I can help, all you have to do is pick up the phone.

  Knowing you has been far and away the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thank you again for all you’ve done; thanks, Marcy, for saving my life.

  Yours,

  Archie

  As he finished reading, all eyes went to Marcy as she got up from the table and went to fold him in her arms. She held him tenderly as he hid his tears in her shoulder, knowing very well that he didn’t want to say goodbye to her, but he thought it was the right thing to do. There were plenty of others who’d probably feel the same, but she was pretty certain that none of them were here in this garden. She realized that not even Claudia wanted him out of their lives now, or she wouldn’t have gone to fetch him.

  Whispering in his ear, she said, “Let me tell you something: if you don’t stay and enjoy this party with us tonight, and you aren’t there to perform with Jasmine on New Year’s Eve, then we might have to take another look at this forgiveness deal.”

  Acknowledgments

  Most books are not written in isolation, and this one is certainly no exception. I’ve long been intrigued by the concept, difficulty, even impossibility of forgiveness—so when I learned about restorative justice, I was more than ready to find out more.

  Whether you as a reader could forgive the crimes committed within this book only you will know. I can’t tell you whether or not I could, because I haven’t been in the same situation. And that is what always resonates deeply with me, the assumption we’d know what we’d do in any given situation without ever having experienced it.

  Most of all I would like to thank Dr. Marian Liebmann, OBE, for so much detailed and patient guidance through the process of RJ and the sharing of her expert knowledge. I have bent the rules for the purposes of the story and yet she continued to give support in the way she does for those who benefit so much from it.

  I would also like to thank another extraordinary lady, Alex Raikes MBE, Director of SARI (Stand Against Racial Inequality). It was Alex who first introduced me to restorative justice and who paved the way to this book. I have yet to write the story that took me to her in the first place, but I am determined to do it one day.

  Now I must express my deepest thanks to the burns surgeons who gave so generously of their time and knowledge to help me with the injuries inflicted at the heart of the book. First to Jeremy Yarrow, MBChb, BSc, FRCS (Plast.), of Morriston Hospital Burns Unit in Swansea. I will be forever indebted to you, Jeremy, for managing to condense so many years of training and experience into words and treatments that allowed me to bring feeling and authenticity to the story. (If there are any experts out there reading this and something is wrong, please know this will be entirely down to me.) Also a huge thank-you to Jonathon Pleat, BAPRAS, BBA (Plastic Surgery), based in Bristol, for setting the course, correcting my early drafts, and putting me in touch with Jeremy Yarrow.

  Last but by no means least a truly joyous thank-you to my wonderful agent, Luigi Bonomi, for unfailing support and advice. And to the exceptionally talented and magnificent team at HarperCollins: Kimberley Young, Liz Stein, Sophie Burks, Elizabeth Dawson, Fleur Clarke, Rachel Quin, Kate Elton, Roger Cazalet, and every one of the unsung heroes behind the scenes who do so much to bring you the books. So many amazing accomplishments were achieved during the lockdown period, and so much fun was had too, albeit virtually, but no less enjoyable for that.

  Susan Lewis

  November 2020

  P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*

  About the Author

  * * *

  Meet Susan Lewis

  About the Book

  * * *

  Reading Group Guide

  Read On

  * * *

  An Excerpt from One Minute Later

  About the Author

  Meet Susan Lewis

  SUSAN LEWIS is the internationally bestselling author of more than forty books across the genres of family drama, thriller, suspense, and crime. She is also the author of Just One More Day and One Day at a Time, the moving memoirs of her childhood in Bristol during the 1960s. Following periods of living in Los Angeles and the South of France, she currently lives in Gloucestershire with her husband, James, and mischievous dogs, Coco and Lulu.

  Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.

  About the Book

  Reading Group Guide

  Forgive Me has letters from Archie dispersed throughout the book. Why do you think the author decided to include these? Additionally, how did it affectyour opinions of Archie as a character?

  What do you make of Archie and Dan’s relationship? How does Archie’s lack of a father figure ultimately affect his relationship with Dan? How is their relationship an example of redemption and how does that theme translate to Archie’s relationship with other characters, including his mother and Marcy?

  In what way did the death of Claudia’s first husband influence her decisions throughout the book? As Claudia explores romantic interests, how do both of her previous marriages impact her relationship with Dan? Do you feel that Dan was respectful in his pursuing Claudia?

  Did the reveal of the recipient of Archie’s letters surprise you? In this scene, the narrative alternates between Archie’s and the recipient’s perspectives to provide context from both sides. What effect did this have on you?

  While both Jasmine and Marcy were interested in learning more about the restorative justice program, Claudia had a negative reaction toward it. If you were in Marcy’s position, would you want to participate in the program? And, how would you want your family members to respond?

  What do you think Forgive Me is trying to say about restorative justice in general? What new perspective or insight did you gain on the criminal justice system?

  Marcy experiences the most physical change out of all the characters. After seeing herself in a mirror for the first time, Claudia describes Marcy: “It was as if she hadn’t heard, or had somehow transported herself to a place no one could reach her” (here). How did Marcy overcome this challenge and reconnect with her friends and family? How does her accident and subsequent recovery demonstrate resilience and personal growth?

  Mother-daughter relationships are at the center of Forgive Me, between Marcy and Claudia and Claudia and Jasmine. How do each of these relationships shift and grow over the course of the book? In what ways do they grow stronger? Or weaker?

  Maria, Archie’s mom, is another important mother figure throughout the book. In the scene where Maria tells Fliss and Andee about Archie’s crime, she is clearly emotional about the tumultuous relationship with her son. How does this scene demonstrate forgiveness and grace, especially between a mother and son?

  How did Archie’s final letter resonate with you? Focusing on the theme of your “chosen” family, how does his sentiment in the letter speak to that?

  Almost all the characters give and receive forgiveness. Considering the uplifting ending, do you feel that the secrets and betrayals affecting the characters in the beginning were resolved and justice was served?

  Read On

  An Excerpt from One Minute Later

  CHAPTER ONE

  VIVIENNE

  Present Day

  The day started out so well. It was sunny, warm—a welcome bonus for what had so far been a rainy April—with misty slats of sunlight streaming through the partially open plantation shutters. The delicious aroma of fresh coffee and buttery croissants floated up from Maxi’s café next door, enticing her further into the day.

  Vivienne Shager stretched luxuriously, her taut, lithe body unraveling its impressive length from the contours of sleep as her mind made a happy reconnect with
the world and what it had in store on this glorious work-free day.

  It was hard to believe that four full weeks had passed since she and the GaLs—Girls at Law—had run and completed an entire marathon to raise funds for the charity Heads Together. So much had happened in that time—mostly work related, but she’d also had an irritating bug that kept coming and going, trying to lay her low but never quite succeeding. However, she was feeling pretty good today, she soon realized. This was a huge relief, for she and the GaLs were planning some serious celebration of their fund-raising efforts. The day was exclusively theirs; partners, spouses, offspring, parents, bosses, and colleagues had been given notice that they’d have to manage without the key women in their lives from midday until said women were ready to tip in the direction of home.

  For Vivi, there was less of a problem on the family front, since she had no children and her partner, Greg, was going to Lord’s for the day. Her mother fortunately didn’t live anywhere close by. On the work front, her immediate boss, Trudy Mack-Silver, was one of the GaLs, so no difficulties there. This wasn’t to say that Vivienne didn’t have a mountain of work to get through; being a senior member of the in-house legal team at FAberlin Investments meant her desk and inbox were always crammed with issues needing urgent attention. Over time she’d learned how to prioritize the ceaseless flow of demands, though many of them saw her laboring late into the evenings and often over entire weekends. She didn’t mind; she loved her job and even liked many of the giant corporation’s upper-management team. They could be tough, bad-tempered, inconsiderate, and in some cases offensively sexist, but in times of crisis she watched closely, spoke confidently, and managed to learn a lot from those whose jobs she had in her sights.

  “You give great kickback,” Trudy often told her following an intense negotiation or fiery confrontation. “They respect you for it. It makes them listen, and provided you don’t go wrong, you could be heading up the entire legal team by the time you’re thirty.” Trudy didn’t have a problem with this, because she had no such ambitions for herself. She was happy to stay at the level she’d already attained, since it allowed her time to be an at-home-most-evenings wife to Bruno and available-for-school-runs mum to Nick and Dean.

  The other important thing about today was the fact that it was Vivi’s twenty-seventh birthday, another reason the GaLs—all graduates of the London School of Economics law school—had decided that this should be the marathon reunion day. Combining occasions was something they often did; being so busy with their careers it was the only way to make sure nothing got overlooked.

  Throwing back the pale blue striped duvet, Vivi stood as tall as her willowy five feet nine inches allowed, arched her long back, and gave a lazy side-to-side twist to stretch out her waist. Since ending her intense pre-marathon training, her body had softened slightly, making it, according to Greg, more feminine and curvier, and way sexier. He had a thing about large women, which made his attraction to her a bit of a mystery, given how slender she was. However, they’d been seeing each other for several months, nonexclusively, so their friends weren’t living in daily expectation of some significant news. A baby. A wedding. Or perhaps something as simple as moving in together.

  Despite their casual relationship, Vivi had to admit that he was a bit of a dreamboat in his way, sporty, witty, fiercely intelligent, and very well connected in the financial world, thanks to his gentrified family and their historic ties to the City. When he spoke, it was immediately evident that he came from privileged pastures; however, Vivienne strongly doubted that he gave a single thought to the relative ordinariness of her own. He wasn’t a snob, or if he was, she’d never noticed. Nonetheless, she’d never taken him to meet her family, who still lived in the hopelessly unsophisticated coastal town that Vivi had called home for the first eighteen years of her life.

  She’d moved on since uni, had redefined her focus, and was part of another world that could hardly be more different from the simplicity of her early years. Not that she had changed in character, for she was still the same upbeat and optimistic Vivi that her beloved grandpa used to call Vivi-vacious. This nickname came from her love of life and people, especially him and NanaBella, which was what she used to call her grandma on account of her name being Bella. Vivi also adored her younger brother, nineteen-year-old Mark, and there was no doubt that she loved her mother with all her heart and knew that her mother felt the same about her. However, their relationship was the most complicated and frustrating part of Vivienne’s world, which was why she didn’t often go home. She’d spent too many years trying to unlock the closed doors in her mother’s heart and unravel the secrets Gina had never shared, and now all Vivienne wanted was to avoid the confusing and conflicting emotions she always came away with after spending time with her mother.

  She wasn’t giving any of this a single thought on this glorious spring morning, although she expected her mobile to ring at any minute, bringing a dutiful happy-birthday call from home. The postman would almost certainly deliver a card from her mother later, and a text would no doubt pop up at some point during the day, saying something like, Hope you’re having a fabulous day, but please don’t have too much to drink. There wouldn’t be a present, because her mother had stopped buying them a few years ago, saying, “I always get it wrong, so there doesn’t seem any point in wasting my money. If you want something, just ask.”

  That was Gina all over. In spite of being a glamorous and successful forty-six-year-old businesswoman with a good sense of humor and plenty of friends, she could be prosaically practical about things that called for frivolity or indulgence. (Although, Vivi reminded herself, their surprise trip to Venice when Vivi was a teenager had proved her mother could be both imaginative and impulsive when she wanted to be.) However, it was true to say that Gina was usually awkward with celebrations, and as for showy declarations of feeling, well, that wasn’t her at all. Actually, she was nothing if not a maddening set of contradictions, because she could be a lot of fun when she wanted to be, and when it came to throwing a party, she didn’t do things by half. Things had changed, however, since Gil, Vivi’s stepfather and Mark’s father, had left, just over nine years ago. Dear, wonderful Gil, who was still as much a part of their lives as if he’d never gone, except he didn’t live with her mother anymore—and if anyone could work out the bizarreness of that relationship, they’d certainly have a better insight into Gina’s mysterious psyche than Vivi had ever managed.

  “Don’t ask me,” NanaBella had lamented at the time of the breakup. “I’ve never really understood your mother, you know that, and she could baffle the heck out of Grandpa when he was alive.”

  “But you always loved her and stood by her,” Vivienne had pointed out, for it was true, her grandparents had always been there—for them all.

  There was no NanaBella or Grandpa to stand by any of them now. Grandpa had succumbed to cancer when Vivi was six, and NanaBella had been the victim of a drunk driver four Easters ago while on her way into town.

  That was another reason for Vivi to feel guilty about not going to see her mother more often. Gina had been devastated by the sudden loss of her beloved mother—they all had, including Gil. But trying to be supportive of Gina was like trying to hug a cactus. She couldn’t accept love without becoming prickly and awkward; although she clearly wanted affection, she just didn’t seem to know how to handle it.

  What was that line about an enigma wrapped up in a mystery inside a riddle? Well, that was her mother, and even Gil, as besotted as he was with her, never tried to claim she was easy.

  Reaching for her mobile as it rang, Vivi saw it was one of the GaLs and decided to let it go to voicemail. She simply had to go to the bathroom before speaking to anyone, and then she’d pop down to Maxi’s for an Americano and pastry to fuel herself for the day. If her mother called and didn’t get an answer, she’d assume Vivi was either out for a run, or at Greg’s, or still asleep with the phone turned off. She wouldn’t worry, because that was somethi
ng Gina resolutely refused to do, in spite of the fact that the tight line between her beautiful eyes showed that she spent just about every moment of every day worrying about something.

  Did she even realize that?

  Vivi thought she probably did, but she guarded jealously whatever was causing her anxiety—and maybe it was many things—as though letting go of a single hint of an issue would snap the strings inside her and everything would fall catastrophically apart.

  Standing in front of the twin-mirrored bathroom cabinet with its frame of snowball lights and inbuilt heat pad, Vivi pulled a face at herself and stretched out her jaw. She must have slept awkwardly because her neck seemed achy, and the stiffness in her limbs told her that she ought to get back to some proper exercise soon. Still, at least she was breathing more easily this morning, so the bug she’d no doubt picked up on one of several flights she’d made in the past three weeks might finally be clearing.

  She was, by anyone’s standards, a strikingly lovely young woman. With almond-shaped eyes, blue as a summer sky, and a full, sloppy mouth (her description), she was so entrancing that her friends swore she could hypnotize at a hundred paces. Her complexion was smooth and olive, her cheekbones high, and her light brown hair was a wayward riot of waves that fell about her face and neck in a style all its own.

  Right now it was a tangled mess, and her still-sleepy eyes were shadowed by the residue of last night’s mascara.

  Last night?

  Oh, that was right; she’d been at the office until almost midnight, after returning from New York on the red-eye in the morning. It had been a flying visit to the Big Apple, quite literally: one meeting, followed by a dull dinner at Bobby Van’s Steakhouse and an overnight stay at the Beekman.