A Persistant Attraction

by Silvia Violet

  He told himself to think of Mark and of what his friend would do to him if he stole Amanda’s innocence. Hell, Mark might kill him for what he’d already done, but if he took Amanda’s virginity too, Mark would make sure his death was long and painful.

  Unfortunately such thoughts did nothing to cool his lust.

  “Rhys, are you all right?”

  He nodded, unsure he could make his voice work.

  He heard Amanda moving around, but he didn’t look up. He hoped to God she was putting her clothes back on. After a few seconds, he risked a peek. She was sitting on the edge of the sofa in nothing but the man’s shirt she’d worn.

  She must have sensed him looking at her, because she looked up before he could close his eyes again. He wanted to look away, but the hurt and anger in her eyes made his desire ebb as nothing else had.

  He lifted himself to the sofa. “I’m sorry. I just needed a moment.”

  “Why didn’t you…I know there’s more and…didn’t you want to?” He couldn’t have been more shocked. Could she truly not know how much he wanted her? “I wanted to more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Why do you think I’ve been sitting here like an idiot?”

  “I didn’t know. I thought maybe—”

  “I’ve been fighting like hell to keep myself under control.”

  “Why?”

  “Surely you understand that we can’t, that I can’t—”

  “But that was the point of our bargain wasn’t it? In exchange for your help, you would get the opportunity to seduce me.”

  “I was playing with you, seeing if I could make you mad. I never intended to go this far.”

  “You haven’t seemed inclined to stop before.”

  “That’s because all we’ve done is kiss, and I didn’t want to stop tonight.”

  “But you did.”

  Dear God, she was exasperating. “I did what I had to do. I know you think I’m no gentleman, but nevertheless I do not make a habit of deflowering innocents. I’m supposed to be protecting you, not ruining you.” Amanda’s cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. Anger flared in her eyes, so hot he feared she might combust. “I’m so damned tired of your notions of protection, I could scream. I am quite capable of taking care of myself and that includes deciding when and how I want to experience what men and women do together.”

  “Amanda, setting aside what Mark, Cassandra and your most formidable aunt would do to me, I—”

  “If you think I’m going to believe you let other people’s thoughts dictate your actions, then you’re not as smart as I thought you were.” Up to that point, Rhys had been merely frustrated. Now anger exploded inside him.

  “Just because I refuse to play by the rules of the ton does not mean I care nothing for what others want or feel. I’m trying to be chivalrous. I want to keep you from doing something you will surely regret.”

  “That’s a decision I should make for myself.”

  “Amanda, I swore to protect you. I will not—”

  “Just like you protected me the other night when you wore a mask so I didn’t know who you were. Then you took me home and kissed me senseless, making me feel like a complete wanton for responding like that to a stranger.” She must have figured it out from his stupid comment about the alley. He’d never been so careless with other assignments. If he had, he’d be dead. “How did you know?”

  “Your fighting style.”

  “What?”

  “You fight like you dance, with grace and skill. Two different men could not look that beautiful while killing others with their bare hands.” It took a moment for her words to sink in. He felt a surge of pride at her appreciation of his fighting skills before he sobered, remembering what tenuous ground he was on. “I shouldn’t have deceived you.”

  “Did you follow me from my aunt’s house?”

  “I wanted you to learn a lesson. I could have stopped you from going altogether.

  Instead I chose to follow you, thinking you’d get scared when you saw what kind of place the Black Eagle was and turn back. Obviously, I underestimated your determination.”

  “I am thankful for your assistance, but I’m not sure I can forgive you for not revealing yourself.”

  Her voice was cold and hard. He wanted to say something to defend himself, but what? He’d deceived her for no other reason than to have a chance to kiss her without their usual animosity.

  Amanda turned to face him. “Our agreement is off. I’m no longer interested in the protection you’ve offered.”

  For a few seconds, he watched her walk away, unable to fully comprehend how they’d ended up arguing. A few moments before they’d been tangled on the floor burning with a passion like none he’d ever felt. Now she was just going to leave?

  He snapped out of his stupor and chased her down the hall. “Amanda, wait. At least let me escort you home.”

  “Meadows will call the carriage for me. You needn’t worry about my safety ever again.” Her voice cracked and he thought he saw tears in her eyes.

  Chapter Eight

  Amanda couldn’t stop shaking as she huddled in the corner of Rhys’s plush carriage.

  Facing Meadows with dignity had been difficult, but she’d managed to hold herself together until she was alone.

  Anger, sadness and fear swirled in her mind, mixing with the afterglow of pleasure that still existed no matter how much she wanted to hate Rhys. She wasn’t sure whether she was mad at Rhys or herself or exactly which mistake, his or hers, had inspired the rage that pumped through her veins.

  At least she knew why she’d let things go as far as they had. Seeing him vulnerable had done something strange to her insides. He’d opened himself to her and let her know for certain that there was far more to him than the rakish veneer he showed the ton.

  But he’d failed to trust her judgment once again. She wasn’t a child, and she deserved to be a woman in every sense whether or not she chose to marry. He made her feel like a fool for having dared to be the seducer. What a damned inconvenient time for him to develop a conscience.

  Every time she thought of what they’d done, of the glorious explosion he’d caused in her, she wanted more. But that wasn’t going to happen unless he was willing to strike a very different bargain.

  But what was she going to do without him? She’d told him she didn’t need his protection. And when it came to escaping from her room or deciding when and how she wanted to lose her innocence, that was true. When it came to facing down men who wanted her dead, she needed him in the worst way.

  She knew she was better prepared to deal with her current situation than most of the silly, frivolous women she’d met in London. But she’d never be a physical match for the villains she’d encountered in the last week.

  By the time Rhys’s footmen saw her safely over her balcony and into her room, she was exhausted, mentally and physically. Sleep was the only thing she was capable of.

  Maybe after a good night’s rest a better solution to her problems would come to her.

  “I can’t wait to hear where you’ve been.”

  Amanda jumped.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Though I must admit you had me rather worried.

  I’ve been waiting for hours.”

  Amanda’s heart slowed when she recognized her sister’s voice. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Waiting for you.”

  “You must have had a reason to come looking for me.”

  “I’ll explain later. First I want to hear what you’ve been up to.” Amanda took a deep breath and lit the lamp on her bedside table. She heard the bed creak as Elise changed positions.

  “You were with Mr. Stanton, weren’t you?”

  Amanda sat next to her sister. Elise was stretched out on Amanda’s bed wearing a delicate pink nightgown. With her hair down she looked far too young to be in town for the Season, much less to be speculating about Amanda’s dealings with Rhys Stanton.

  “Whatever would make you think that?”r />
  “I suppose I could believe you went out alone. But if not, I can’t think of anyone other than Mr. Stanton who would accompany you on such an adventure.”

  “What sort of adventure do you think I’ve been on?”

  “One that would necessitate you dressing like a boy.” Elise waved her hand to indicate Amanda’s costume. “If I had to guess, I would say it had something to do with the man who attacked you the other night.”

  At least her little sister hadn’t assumed Amanda and Rhys were lovers. But what could Amanda tell her that would satisfy her curiosity but keep her from worrying too much, or worse, wanting to get involved? “I wanted a chance to see more of London than ballrooms. I met Mr. Stanton at a tavern. We had a drink, and I returned home.”

  Elise threw a pillow at Amanda. “Stop protecting me and tell me what’s really going on.”

  Stop protecting me. Exactly what she’d said to Rhys. But this was Elise, her little sister. Amanda took a deep breath. Despite her current appearance, Elise was all grown up now and likely believed she was as capable of taking care of herself as Amanda.

  Was she? She’d been too young to take part in the lessons their cousin, Edward, had given Amanda on using guns and knives and fighting hand-to-hand. But while she might not be a very good shot, Elise was an intelligent young woman who knew how to think for herself. She deserved to know what was really going on.

  “Promise me you will not repeat any of this to Aunt Claire.”

  “I promise.”

  “Mr. Stanton and I were trying to locate the man who attacked me.” Elise’s eyes widened. “So the attack was personal?”

  “Yes.” Amanda proceeded to tell Elise about the threatening letters, her enlistment of Rhys’s aid and her attempts to find the man who’d sent them. She left out her brush with death and Rhys’s attempts at seduction.

  By the time Amanda finished her story, Elise looked pale and frightened. Amanda wondered whether she’d made the wrong decision in telling her. She took Elise’s hand in hers. “Are you all right? I didn’t want to scare you.” Elise squeezed Amanda’s hand. “It’s just hard to believe someone wants to kill you.

  Can you trust Mr. Stanton to find him?”

  Amanda nodded. “That is one thing I can trust him with.” Elise looked at Amanda quizzically, but she changed the subject. “Do you have any idea who the attacker could be?”

  “Not really. I searched Aunt Claire’s room, hoping to find her correspondence from our father.”

  Elise’s eyes widened. “You don’t really think Father would send someone to kill you?”

  “No, but someone he owed might try to punish him by harming one of us.”

  Elise nodded. “Did you find any letters?”

  “I did. He recently asked Aunt Claire for a loan. Mr. Stanton is going to try to find out why.”

  “Isn’t there anything I could do to help?”

  Amanda’s heart beat accelerated. She absolutely did not want Elise involved, but before she said so, she realized there was something Elise could do without endangering herself. “Do you still read to Aunt Claire some evenings?” Elise looked confused but she said that she did

  “Does she still fall asleep after a few chapters?” Elise laughed. “Of course. Hasn’t she always?”

  “Would you return the letters from Father the next time you read to her? Nan caught me in Aunt Claire’s room when I took them, and neither she nor Aunt Claire believed my explanation. The letters belong in the second drawer of the desk under a ledger. You’ll have to pick the lock with a hairpin.” Amanda gave her sister a questioning look.

  Elise smiled. “I had plenty of practice with that at school. It will be easy to slip them in after Aunt Claire is asleep. What else can I do?” Amanda shook her head. “Not a thing. Now will you tell me why you came to my room?”

  Elise frowned. “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “And you wanted to see if I was still awake.”

  “Not exactly. I needed someone to talk to. I…” Tears began to pour down Elise’s cheeks. “It’s Ben. We can’t marry. His father expects him to go to India.”

  “Is this why he was distant the other night? Did he already know he was to leave London?”

  Elise nodded. “Yes. I really thought he was angry with me, but he was just trying to find a way to tell me.” Her silent tears changed to sobs. Amanda pulled her sister into her arms, wishing she could take her pain away.

  *

  Rhys stared at his reflection in the cheval glass as he tied his cravat. Meadows had been sullen all morning. No doubt he disapproved of what he imagined Rhys had done to send Amanda fleeing from the house. Unable to bear the man’s reproachful looks any longer, Rhys had dismissed him in favor of dressing himself. Unfortunately, the solitude allowed him more time to curse himself for behaving as he had the night before then being too cowardly to go after Amanda and set things right.

  Not that he was exactly sure what to apologize for. In his mind, his highest crime was not stopping things before he did. Apparently, Amanda was angry that he hadn’t gone further.

  Whether she ever spoke to him civilly again or not, he would continue to see to her safety. But, reluctant as he was to admit it, the thought of not spending time with her every day made him feel lonelier than he had in years.

  Once his anger had calmed, he had gone after her. He’d gotten as far as the courtyard of her aunt’s house before he’d lost his nerve. He’d stood there, staring up at the light flickering in her window, thinking about her in there, undressing and nestling down between the sheets. The balcony had called to him, begging him to climb up, burst inside and tell her…what? That he was sorry he hadn’t taken advantage of her and he was ready to do the deed now?

  The ridiculous situation made his head ache. Where had this chivalry come from anyway? Since when did he worry so much about the reputation of another? If he felt nothing besides lust for Amanda, he would have taken her to bed without a care. Even Mark and Cassandra’s opinion wouldn’t have stopped him. The problem was he felt far more than that.

  With a snarl, he pulled on his coat. As if his difficulties with Amanda weren’t enough to face, he had to go tell Farrington he’d been recognized. This was going to be one hell of a morning.

  A half hour later, after a quick breakfast, Rhys approached Farrington’s house on horseback, having determined that the amount of late morning traffic would make carriage travel too slow. At least there was one bright spot in this otherwise hellish day.

  As early as it was, Farrington wouldn’t have risen yet. What a joy to be able to irritate the man even in so small a way.

  Rhys raised the ornate pewter knocker and rapped loudly. A footman opened the door immediately, and Rhys presented his card, fully expecting the man to try to send him away. Instead, the servant took one glance at his name and said, “Right this way, sir.

  Lord Farrington is in his study. He’s been expecting you.” So much for waking Farrington. Word must have gotten back to him about last night’s fiasco. Rhys cursed himself for not reporting in. He would have if it not been for Amanda. But as badly as the evening had turned out, he couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Amanda’s reaction to him and the feel of her lying beneath him.

  “Unless there has been a turn of events this morning, you have absolutely nothing to smile about,” Farrington snapped as Rhys entered his study behind the footman.

  Farrington sat as his desk trying to give off his usual bored air. The man had changed into morning clothes, but Rhys seriously doubted he’d been to bed, despite his appearing well-groomed and rested. “Believe it or not, I have things going on in my life that have nothing to do with you or your missions.”

  Farrington’s lips curled up. “So the lovely Miss Halverston finally succumbed to your charms?”

  Rhys squeezed his hands into fists as heat rose to his face. “Miss Halverston is an innocent young woman whom I consider a friend. I will not tolerate you speaking of her that way again.�
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  “Little details like innocence have never mattered to you before.” Rhys stepped forward and slammed his hands down on Farrington’s desk. “Don’t push me on this.”

  “My God, I can’t believe it.” Farrington looked truly shocked.

  “What?”

  “You really care for her.”

  “Of course I do. I intend to protect her no matter the cost.”

  “You wanted to protect Therese, but you weren’t like this, even with her.”

  “I told you never to mention Therese’s name again.” Farrington smiled but said nothing further.

  “As I told you before, I consider Amanda a friend.” Farrington laughed. “I couldn’t really expect you to admit it, could I?”

  “Admit what?” Rhys was growing more exasperated every minute.

  “That you’re in love with her.”

  Rhys felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Love. The emotion he had not dared name in connection with Amanda. The force he’d feared was creeping up on him, ready to slam him over the head at any second. He’d tried damn hard to hide it, even from himself. How could Farrington know what was going on inside him?

  Knowing he’d already given away too much of himself, Rhys attempted to school his face. “You’re free to believe whatever you like. My relationship with Miss Halverston is no longer open for discussion. I thought you would be eager to know what went on at the tavern last night.”

  “Yes, I am most eager to hear about your abysmal failure to keep yourself hidden.” Rhys gripped the arms of his chair lest he jump up and knock the smug look off Farrington’s face. The man loved getting under other people’s skin. It was a miracle Farrington had not been murdered by one of his own agents years ago.