by ANDREA SMITH
I sighed thinking just how lucky I was to have Seth.
A boyfriend.
Yes, that promise ring had changed our status, but truthfully, I knew our status had changed the night of that first beautiful kiss we’d shared.
Chapter 8
December 27, 1993
Mama had talked me into going to the mall with her to return some items Daddy had gotten her for Christmas. She claimed they weren’t her style. Said they looked more like what some Hollywood slut might wear, not a Southern woman of refinement.
I’d kept my mouth shut on that one. Seemed like there was no pleasing Mama these days. She hadn’t been drinking since Daddy returned, and that fact seemed to make her even growlier with everyone, including me.
So, the whole way to the mall, I jabbered about our trip to the art museum the day before. It had been so totally awesome, that I had a difficult time keeping my voice from raising every time I explained a different piece to her.
“I’m telling you, Mama, it was one of the best places I’ve ever been. Even Seth enjoyed it and I never expected that in a million years! I could have stayed another day and not seen everything. Hey, how about you and me making a trip down there some time together? I just know you’d love it. They have pottery there, too. And lots of sculptures that I know you’d just love. Can we?”
She didn’t answer.
“Mama, can we?”
“Can we what, darlin’?”
“Visit the art museum down in La Jolla. The one I went to yesterday with Laura and Seth.”
“Oh, that’s right. How was it? Did y’all have a good time there?”
I sighed. She hadn’t heard a damn thing I’d said. God only knew where her mind was these days. “Yeah, Mama. It was real nice.”
“That’s good,” she replied, turning onto the service road that led up to the mall. “You made sure to thank Mrs. Drake now, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Mama. I thanked her.”
“Good girl.”
Thankfully, our time at the mall didn’t take much time at all. It seemed all my mother wanted was to return her gifts for cash. Several thousand dollars worth of it as a matter of fact.
“Do you need anything before we get outta here, Neilah?" she asked after the last item had been returned and she had stuffed the money into her billfold. “I’m buying.”
“Nope, I’m good. Where to now, home?”
She looked at her watch. “Damn, it’s after four o’clock. Your daddy will be home from golfing by six. How about if we stop at Fry’s on the way home and pick something already cooked at the deli?”
I shrugged. “Works for me.”
Mama picked out some baked pork chops, Au Gratin potatoes, and three-bean salad at the deli. She grabbed a bottle of white wine from the cooler. “Anything you want for dessert?” she asked placing the items on the checkout counter.
“Can I grab one of those angel food cakes over there?” I asked, nodding towards the display table.
“Sure thing, baby girl. Hey, you watch this while I run over to frozen foods and grab some strawberries to go with it,” she said, rushing past me. There was a customer ahead of us with a large order, so I knew she’d make it back in time.
I placed the angel food cake on the conveyor, and glanced around at the magazine racks lining the checkout waiting for Mama to get back as the conveyor moved forward just a bit.
It was then I caught a glimpse of a headline on the new edition of the “The Revealer.” The words registered before the photo did. “Tiffany Blume is in full Bloom with her Attorney.”
My eyes lowered to the photograph. It was the actress, wearing a skimpy thong bikini. The top of the swimsuit was mostly a cloth-covered underwire with two triangles of fabric that barely covered her nipples, as her breasts threatened to spill over the top. Two spaghetti straps led from the top and crossed over her chest tied in the back.
My eyes focused in on her attorney. It was my father, also in beach attire, his arm wrapped around her waist and her face was tilted up, looking at him with adoring eyes. The backdrop was a beach somewhere. The story beneath the picture merely described the candid shot being taken the day after Thanksgiving on the pristine beaches of Cancun.
Thanksgiving?
He was supposed to have been in New York, not Cancun. I froze, still staring at the picture when I felt it being pulled from my grasp.
“Oh my God!” my mother screeched. “I knew it! I just knew it! And he told me I was being ridiculous that lying son-of-a-bitch! Her calling here all times of the evening with some contract dispute! Him and his traveling here and there for the last six months on business! Yeah, right. Come on Neely, we’re outta here,” she snapped, tossing a couple dollar bills at the cashier as she walked out with nothing but the tabloid in her hand.
“But what about our groceries?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
“Leave them!” she shouted, “because we’re leaving him. We’ve got some packing to do, girl! He can just come crawling back if he ever wants to set his eyes on you and me again!”
Mama drove like a maniac to get us home. Once there it was a whirlwind of activity. She was practically manic while dragging suitcases out, tossing clothes into them, and ordering me to do the same.
I was in shock.
Frozen with fear and panic. Not only did I have to try and digest the fact that my mother must’ve suspected this for some time now, but I had to deal with the fact that my father had found another woman to love.
I needed Seth. I didn’t want to pack up my life and leave without thinking all of this through. Mama needed to talk to Daddy, to find out just what this was all about. Maybe there was an explanation for all of it. Maybe it was just like Seth had told me about those…what had he called them?
Oh yeah.
Paparazzi.
Photographers who followed celebrities around to catch them looking ugly or doing something they shouldn’t be doing.
I wasn’t going to leave like this. I needed my father to explain it all. To give us the truth first. To tell us that he loved someone else and didn’t want to be a family anymore. And if that were the case, then I would go with Mama because I knew she would need me. But I wouldn’t leave before talking to Seth.
In fact, right at this moment in time, he was the one I needed most.
Mama poked her head into my bedroom. “Get your butt in gear, Neilah Grace. I’ve made plane reservations and we need to scoot.”
“No!” I screamed throwing a pair of my boots against the wall. “I am not going anywhere without talking to Daddy!”
“Oh yes you are, Missy! Don’t give me any sass, we’ve got to get going!”
I was desperate. This had all come crashing down so fast I needed time to think. “Okay, Mama,” I said, in a tone that sounded as if I was resigned.
“Okay then. Be ready in ten minutes with everything you can fit in those suitcases. Your daddy will have to ship the rest of it out to us later.”
She left the room and I crept over to the door and closed it silently, twisting the lock on the door knob.
I ran over to my bed, stood on it, and opened the window, pushing the screen out. I hoisted myself up and over the window ledge, dropping with a thud onto the shrubs that lined the side of the house. I quickly got my bearings and ran like hell out onto the road and down towards Seth’s house, tears pouring from my eyes like a waterfall, but I didn’t care.
There was a time for crying, and if this wasn’t one of those times then I sure as heck didn’t know what was.
I was out of breath by the time I reached the front door of the Drake home. I pushed the bell over and over again, afraid that if Mama discovered I wasn’t in my room, she’d be down here lickety-split to drag me home.
Kent Drake answered the door, and as soon as he saw me, a look of alarm and concern crossed over his face. “Neely, what is it? What’s happened?” he asked, opening the door wider so that I
could come inside.
“I’m sor-sorry, Mr. Drake,” I said, stumbling like an idiot over my words. “Can I please talk to Seth?”
“Sure you can, but first tell me if there’s an emergency over at your house, honey.”
I shook my head vehemently, “No, sir. Well, not in the way you’re thinking anyway. I just need to talk to Seth before we leave for the airport.”
“Go on upstairs. He’s in his room.”
I nodded and hurried past Mr. Drake. I knew by the question he asked that more than likely Laura had clued him in about my mother.
I didn’t even bother knocking on Seth’s door. I just pushed it open and barged in startling him. He was stretched on his bed, playing a video game.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly sitting up and tossing the controller on the bed. “Are you crying?”
I nodded not trusting myself to speak. He’d never seen me cry, and I was pretty sure I didn’t look my best while doing so.
“Tell me, Neely. What’s wrong?”
He was beside me now. All I could do was bury my face in his shoulder as I continued to sob. “It’s my Mama. We’re leaving. Going back to Tennessee.”
He pulled back from me, his voice full of confusion and disbelief. “What? Why?”
I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. “It’s those…papa-papar—what do you call them? The ones that take pictures and sell them?”
“Paparazzi?”
“Yeah. They took a picture of my father. We saw it in one of those magazines at the checkout. He was with some actress, on some beach. It was horrible!”
I dissolved into more tears, putting my hands over my face to hide my ugliness. “I just wanted to say good-bye,” I sobbed into my fingers.
He wrapped his arms around me. “Shhh,” he said in a soothing voice, “don’t cry, Neely, please? I can’t stand to see you upset. I’m sure your mother is just…well…pissed right now. She’ll think it through and talk it out with your dad. You’ll see.”
Even Seth didn’t sound convinced when he spoke those words, and he didn’t know Mama the way I did. “No. She won’t. I know her.”
“Where’s your dad?” he asked.
“Golfing. Supposedly. She wants to leave for the airport before he gets home. I snuck out. I’m supposed to be in my room packing my stuff. I climbed out the window,” I admitted sheepishly.
“You did?”
“I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye to you and letting you know what happened. And, well, if you want your promise ring back, I’ll understand.”
His hand cupped my chin and he tilted my face upward so that he could look into my eyes. “Stop, Neely. I gave you that ring to keep. No matter what.”
Just then Laura came into the room. “Honey, your mother is downstairs. She’s waiting for you.”
“Would you tell her I’ll be right there?” I asked.
“Yeah. And Neely? I’m sorry, hun.”
She left the room and I looked back up at Seth. “I’ll write you when I get wherever it is we’re going,” I said, sniffling. “And I’ll call you when we get a phone, I guess.”
“Neely—” he started and then stopped. His face was flushed. Seth was upset. I’d never seen him like this before.
“I’m sorry I’m gonna miss your sixteenth birthday party. I had something back at the house for you. I’ll leave it out on the back patio before we take off. You can come get it when you feel like it,” I continued.
He was quiet now. Staring at me. Then looking upward so that I couldn’t see his own tears starting to well up.
I stood there for a moment and then I wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled his face toward mine. Our lips met briefly for a kiss before another sob let loose from me. At least the tears had stopped for now.
“I love you, Seth Drake,” I whispered before turning away from him. “And I’m gonna miss you like crazy.”
I turned away from him and walked out of his room. I didn’t dare look back, because if I had, I knew there was no way I could’ve held the flood of tears back any longer.
Chapter 9
July 10, 1994
Our house looked the same, but for some odd reason, it seemed foreign to me. It had only been seven months since we’d left, but it might as well have been seven years for how alien it all seemed to me now.
Same furniture; same drapes, same bedspread on my bed. I opened the closet door and empty hangers rocked back and forth on the rod. They looked lonely.
The oil abstract painted by the blind girl my father had given me for Christmas still hung on the wall over my bed. My mother had forbidden me from taking it, or having my father send it on to us in Tennessee.
“He was with that floozie when he bought that Neilah Grace! Remember? Lied about being on business in New York and took that whore to Cancun? She probably even touched it. I won’t have it in my house, period!”
I hadn’t argued the point any further. What was the use?
I quickly opened my suitcase to unpack. What I’d brought for the month wouldn’t fill my closet, but it would sure make it look less lonely.
My father had a housekeeper now. Her name was Elizabeth, but she preferred to be called Betty. She wasn’t full time like the Drake family’s housekeeper, Rita.
Betty came in three days a week to do laundry, go to the market, clean, and cook meals for the week according to my father’s menus.
Daddy had picked me up at the airport, taken me to lunch, and then dropped me at home where Betty was there to greet me and assist me in any way I required.
“Listen, Neely, I have to go back to the office. But I’ll be home around seven for dinner. We can go out, or maybe grill something—whatever my little girl wants,” he said, smiling. “It’s so damn good to have you here, honey.”
“It’s good to be here. Don’t worry about having to go back. Seth knew I was getting in today so we’re going to hang out.”
I saw a frown creep over my father’s face. “Well, that boy is driving now,” he said. “I don’t want you going anywhere in that sports car he’s got until I have a talk with him.”
“Oh Daddy,” I said, giving him an eye roll. “I’m fifteen and a half. I’m allowed to date, remember?”
“Since when?” he asked, his brow furrowing.
“Since now,” I replied. “He’s my boyfriend, remember? We’ve stayed in touch.”
“I see,” my father replied, still not pleased with the notion of me being on a date or in a car alone with my boyfriend. “Just stick around here for now, we’ll discuss it later. The three of us.” He kissed me on the cheek and left before I could protest any further.
The three of us?
The sun was starting to lower on the horizon. I raised my sunglasses up to look to my side. Seth was stretched out on his stomach, his head resting on his muscular arms, eyes closed. He was totally sleeping, which gave me ample opportunity to check him out without him knowing it.
I rolled to my side, propping my head on my hand so that I could assess my boyfriend thoroughly. I released a soft sigh.
Seven months had served him well, there was no doubt about that. He was several inches taller, and from what he said, he wasn’t done yet. His arms and shoulders had somehow developed definition and muscles. In his phone calls to me, he’d said he had joined a gym to start working out.
His dark brown hair had lost that boyish, wispy look. It seemed thicker and coarser, and I could tell he’d started shaving, too. His sideburns were neatly trimmed short, and his eyebrows were a bit bushier than I’d recalled.
But the first thing I’d noticed when he’d scooped me up was his Adam’s apple. Apparently it had made its appearance after he turned sixteen. And I’d missed it all I reflected sadly.
My eyes perused his tanned arms and flickered to where his left hand was exposed. He was wearing his class ring. He was going into his junior year of high school, but he wouldn’t b
e returning to Malibu High this fall.
He’d written to me a few weeks back, letting me know that his mother had pulled some strings and he’d been accepted at The Southern California High School of the Performing Arts for his junior and senior years of high school. He was super excited about it, and as much as I wanted to share the excitement for him, I just couldn’t. I wasn’t sure why.
Maybe it was because he was able to pursue his dream, and I hadn’t thought much about my dreams since the shit had hit the fan when my parents split.
As I continued to gaze at him, I realized that being here hadn’t automatically made us pick up where we’d left off as if the seven months apart had never happened. I had felt tentative around him at first, almost shy.
Oh, we’d definitely kissed and held one another. But then he’d immediately taken my hand and announced we were going to the beach to hang out.
“Can I at least change into my swimming suit?” I’d asked, giggling nervously, “and grab a towel and sunscreen?”
“If you hurry,” he replied, waggling his eyebrows up and down. So, we’d gone to the beach, hand in hand, and once we’d settled ourselves on the blanket, it hadn’t taken more than a few seconds before Seth and I were making out like crazy, and suddenly the months apart seemed to disappear.
Studying him now while he slept he looked so darn perfect to me. He’d grown into this boy/man creature who was beautiful and talented, and I realized that just might be the reason I wasn’t jumping for joy about his going on to pursue his dream of becoming an actor.
He was perfectly suited for it, there was no doubt about that, but he was still so young in my opinion. How was he so sure that getting his foot into that door of television or movies was what he wanted for the rest of his life?
It seemed to me that a lot of the younger television and movie stars ended up getting into drinking and drugs. At least that’s what I saw on the tabloid covers at the grocery store many times.
