by ANDREA SMITH
The script instruction had me lowering my face to kiss his forehead, which I did, and running my fingers through his hair, which I did.
Seth continued reading. “I remember at that first hospital the way the doctors rushed to stabilize you. I remember praying to God to please let you live, to not take you from me. If only I’d gotten to you sooner! If only I’d shared with you what I knew about Kyzer Stanfield. It’s my fault you went through all of this, Lindsey. My fucking fault.”
“So. . . what?” I read from the script in front of me. “You’re going to continue beating yourself up? It’s not your fault, Taz. It’s not my fault. There are evil things in this world and I just happened across one. If you and I can’t get past this then Kyzer will have taken more than he already has.”
“What do you mean?” Seth—as Taz—asks.
“I mean you won’t touch me. You avoid making love to me. Is it because you think I’m dirty now? Because if so, I promise you I’ve scrubbed my skin so hard it’s bled in places. If you can’t get past what Kyzer did, then Taz we have nothing.”
“Cut! Beautiful!” Bernard called out, clapping his hands. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
Chapter 5
Seth was driving like a bat out of hell ever since we’d left the studio after his audition. He’d barely said a word to Diana as she’d tried her best to keep up with his quick strides out to the parking lot, his hand locked in mine, as he pulled me along beside him.
“Call me later, Diana,” he’d called back to her over his shoulder, “I need to decompress.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant. Maybe it was an ‘actor’ thing. Maybe auditions took a toll on him—on all actors, and they needed some time to recover mentally to shed the character they’d assumed in order to play the part the way it needed to be played. Seth had certainly done that. I was pretty sure he’d blown both Bernard and Barton away with his second reading. Of course, the author would have final say in cast selection, but I couldn’t imagine any of the other actors being able to portray Taz Matthews the way that Seth had done this afternoon.
When he blew past my exit, I looked over at him. He had a tick going on in his jaw, and suddenly I wondered if he was pissed at something or someone.
Me?
“Seth, you just passed my exit. Aren’t you dropping me off?” I asked tentatively.
He glanced over. His eyes were the deepest blue I’d ever seen. “No. You’re coming home with me. I need to decompress.”
There it was again.
“Okay, so what exactly does that mean? Wanna clue me in here?”
His eyes locked with mine briefly. “I need you, Neely. I need to be inside of you. To claim you. Any objections?”
My face flushed, and butterflies surged in my belly. “Um…no. I’m good.”
Once in Seth’s bedroom, the sounds of the ocean waves plunging against the rocky cliffs outside played a beautiful backdrop.
I watched as Seth pulled his sweater up and over his head, and quickly lost his jeans. I pulled off my top, and lowered my jeans to the floor, stepping out of them.
We sat facing each other on the bed. His hands gently reached over, cupping my chin and pulling my face towards his. We kissed, gently at first, and then allowed the passion to slowly mount. Our tongues explored each other as if it were the first time, as if it was unexplored territory.
His fingers softly caressed a breast, his thumb circling the nipple and bringing it to a peak, then moving to the other. My hands were on his back, rubbing his muscles, his beautiful skin, loving the feel of him against me.
He pushed me back so that his lips and tongue could capture my breasts, one at a time. He took his time with each, his tongue circling each nipple, and his teeth nipped gently at the nubs making my skin tingle with pleasure and anticipation.
“I want to be inside of you, Neely. I need to be inside of you” he breathed huskily.
I raised myself up and he lowered my panties. I scooted off of him, so that he could remove his boxers.
His erection sprang free. I wrapped my fingers around it, lowering my lips to taste it. This was familiar to me. My tongue ran the length of it up and down, back and forth, and then swirled around the swollen head. I loved the feel and the taste of him, because he was mine.
I heard his sharp intake of breath as my teeth gently grazed the sensitive tip. At the same time, I felt his fingers as he gently plied the sensitive folds of my sex, bringing me waves of pleasure with his touch. I felt him insert a finger and then another. I was immediately wet for him. I moaned softly as his fingers hit my special place.
“I know, baby,” he soothed. “I want it, too.” He pulled his hand from me and quickly grabbed a condom from the drawer of his nightstand, sheathing himself.
He lifted me up, and placed me over his erection. Our eyes locked as he lowered me until he filled me completely. We were facing each other, my legs parted on either side of his hips.
I heard his soft, husky moans and I felt my muscles flexing, squeezing him instinctively. His hands were on my hips, moving me up and down the length of him. My hands were on his shoulders, my fingernails digging into his skin with the intensity of the pleasure.
I rode him as he continued to thrust inside of me, harder now. My fingernails dug deeper as I reached the peak and began the sweet descent into my orgasm. He was right there with me, chanting my name like a prayer, as his lips captured mine with frenzied passion and carnal need.
We climaxed together, our primal moans mixed together as we rode it out, one pleasurable release after another.
I shifted to the side and curled up next to him. Our skin was damp and sticky. I traced his delicious treasure trail with my fingers while his arms encircled me protectively. He kissed the top of my head over and over again.
“I love you,” he murmured as his face nuzzled against my neck, where his mouth peppered my sensitive skin with soft kisses. “It’s always been you, Neely. And when it wasn’t, it was only practice for you.”
My heart skipped a beat with his words. I pressed my body even closer to his as I whispered huskily, “I love you too, Seth. I always have.”
Chapter 6
The following day . . .
“Your dad has called twice, girlfriend,” Jazzy said, as she grabbed her leather briefcase from the entry hall and brushed past me as I was coming in the front door. “God only knows what he was thinking when he called this morning at seven a.m. thinking I had failed to give you his message from last night,” she finished with a huff.
“I’m sorry, my phone was off. I was helping Seth.”
“Helping Seth do what?” she asked, her tone still pissy with me for whatever reason.
“Decompress,” I replied sheepishly, a slow grin spreading across my lips.
And after a moment, Jazzy caught on and a smile followed. “Girl, it’s about damn time. But in the future, please let me know when you’re staying over somewhere. That’s just roommate etiquette,” she finished. “I was worried. Call your daddy.”
And with that she was gone.
I pulled out my cell phone and powered it on so that I could call my father. I knew what was coming.
“Neely,” he said, answering it on the second ring. “Are you okay?”
I rolled my eyes. Obviously Jazzy needed to be clued in on the proper roommate etiquette when it came to taking messages from parents, and how much information is shared.
“I’m fine, Dad. Just had a late night.”
“Or early morning apparently,” he replied sternly. “You had your friend and I both worried.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, “What’s up?”
There was a moment of silence as my father selected the words I already knew were coming.
“Tiffany and I have separated,” he said quietly. “And most likely, there will be divorce proceedings commencing soon. You probably…heard about her indiscretion.”
“Wel
l…yeah,” I answered truthfully. I didn’t need to tell him I’d had a front row seat and actually was behind the camera on that one.
I recalled the look of shock on Tiffany’s face when she saw the chap who’d served her up some yogurt at the party, now dressed as a hotel employee, as he entered their room with his key to drop off fresh towels. Little had she known there was a camera buried in the middle of those towels that was snapping the candid shots that would make front page news on all of the tabloids.
“I guess Karma really is a bitch,” he said.
I wanted to console him; to offer my heartfelt support, or show some compassion, but I just couldn’t. It would be a lie of monumental proportions, and he’d see right through it.
“I don’t know what to say, Dad. It’s no secret that I never cared for Tiffany. I won’t be fake about it now, but I am sorry it happened.”
“I know, sweetheart. I just wanted you to know. She’s not at the house any longer. So, I hope you’ll think about coming to visit me again. I’m sorry for the wedge I allowed her to put between us. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me that anyway.”
“I do, Daddy. And I’ll come by soon for a visit. I promise.”
“Good. How’s your mother, Neely?”
After all this time; after everything that had gone down between all of us, he finally asked about Mama. Did he really have that right, I wondered?
“She’s better. She got married a few months back. She seems happy.”
“Well that’s good. I’m happy to hear that, really. And how about you? What’s new in your life? We haven’t talked in a couple of months.”
I paused, not sure whether I should let him know about Seth. I didn’t want to jinx anything. “I’m seeing Seth Drake again,” I replied. “We’re kind of…together.”
“Ah. I see. And what exactly does together mean these days? Are you living with him?”
“Oh no, not that kind of together. At least not at this point. We’ve only just started seeing one another again. We had some…stuff to figure out. We’re still working on that, but it’s all good.”
I heard my father sigh over the phone. “Well that’s good news, honey. I always liked that boy. He seems to be doing well with his career too.”
“Daddy,” I said with a laugh, “He’s not a boy anymore. He’s almost twenty-three.”
“He’s still a kid in my mind. And so are you. I remember how inseparable you two were growing up. Hmm,” he said with a sigh, “sometimes I really wish I could turn back the hands of time. I’d have done things differently, that’s for sure.”
I thought about what he’d just said. Did he have regrets about Tiffany? Or about moving to California?
“What would you change, Dad?” I asked.
He was quiet for a moment. “I’d have spent less time building this career that seems to suck the life out of me more and more. I would’ve spent more time watching you grow up. Being there for you. Knowing you better. Not letting you slip from my life.”
“I haven’t slipped from your life,” I said. “But what about Mama? Do you have regrets about that?” I had to know, if just for myself.
“Neely,” he said, exhaling a breath, “I loved your Mama once. And I hate the way I handled things when I no longer loved her anymore. It wasn’t fair to her. She deserved better than that. I don’t regret meeting your mother, or loving her because she gave me you. But the truth is, I fell out of love with her years before Tiffany came into the picture. Our marriage just didn’t work. Hell, it’s probably me. I don’t have a winning record with relationships. I hope like hell you have better luck than I did in that department.”
“Me too, Daddy,” I replied quietly. “And for what it’s worth, if what happened with Tiffany made you sad, then I’m sorry.”
I heard him scoff. “What made it humiliating was the fact it was plastered all over the gossip rags. I’d suspected she’d had affairs over the years. It’s not that unusual in this town or in this business. And, I pretty much didn’t have to face the reality until it was shoved in my face like that.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, we are supposed to live in an enlightened and civilized society, aren’t we? Relationships can survive infidelity when it’s not shoved in someone’s face by bottom-feeding scumbag photographers who make their living by exposing everyone else’s dirty laundry to the general public.”
“Uh…do you mean even if you knew or suspected Tiffany had been cheating, as long as she was discreet, and no paparazzi exposed that fact, it would’ve been okay with you?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“So, then, what about with Mama? If she hadn’t found out about you and Tiffany…well, would you have stayed married to her?”
“That was different, Neely. I loved Tiffany back then. Where I screwed up was not being honest with your mother and ending the marriage before it got to the point where she found out the way she did. I shouldn’t have allowed that to happen. But I still love Tiffany. And I guess what I’m saying is that I could’ve overlooked her infidelity as long as it wasn’t front page news.”
I found that kind of sad…and pitiful. My father took my silence as disapproval I suppose. “Look honey, you’re still young and in a lot of ways, naive about the complexity of relationships. Everything isn’t right or wrong, black or white, yes or no. There’s a lot of shades of maybe in there when you love someone. You’ll find that out eventually.”
“I hope not,” I murmured. “Hey, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving you probably already have plans, right?”
“You know I completely forgot it was this week,” he admitted. “No plans for me.”
“Well you have some now,” I said. “We’re doing dinner over here. In fact, I’m supposed to start the prep today. Dinner is around four, so we’ll be expecting you.”
“Are you sure, honey?”
“Yes, Dad. I’m sure. See you then.”
“I wanted to take you home for Thanksgiving,” Seth grumbled over the phone when he called me later that afternoon. I’d told him about the call from my father. “Laura and Kent haven’t seen you forever. I thought I’d surprise them. You know, Laura never did care for Julia,” he continued, “But you and her always hit it off, remember?”
“Uh huh,” I answered quietly. I wasn’t so sure of that at all. Especially after the talk Laura had given me that summer I was fifteen and left to go back to Tennessee early. That was the ‘Summer of the Note’ I now called it in my mind. But Seth knew nothing about that conversation because we hadn’t gotten to that part with our ‘catch-up’ talks.
“Why so quiet?” he asked. “You do like my parents, don’t you?”
“Of course, but I already told Dad to come here for dinner, Seth. He’s kind of all alone, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it, babe. Okay, so how about we go out Friday night? There’s this new improv comedy club I’d like to check out on the strip. We could catch dinner first somewhere?”
“Now that sounds like fun,” I said, glad to get off the subject of his mother for now.
“It’s a date then, brown eyes,” he said with a chuckle. “I’ll pick your sexy ass up around seven-thirty. Oh, and you’re spending the night at my place just so you know.”
“Awful bossy there aren’t you, Seth Drake?”
“Yeah. And you fucking love it.”
#Truth
Chapter 7
It was Thanksgiving night and I was curled up next to Seth on his sofa. Yeah, he’d pretty much convinced me to start our sleepover early for the weekend. I didn’t mind one bit. Having my body molded up against his was becoming my favorite place to be.
The fingers on his right hand were playing in my hair, and his left hand was…well, south of the border so to speak.
“Seth,” I chided.
“I can’t keep my fucking hands off of you, can I?” he replied like the shit he wa
s. The shit I totally loved that is.
“I love you,” I blurted out of the blue.
His face softened immediately, and his lips kissed the tip of my nose. “And I love you, brown eyes,” he said gently. “I fucking missed you all day today. Can you tell?”
“Um…yeah,” I admitted as I rubbed against his growing bulge. “Just a little.”
He chuckled and kissed my lips this time. “How did things go at your place today with your dad?” he asked.
“It was good,” I answered honestly. “He loves our place. He seems to be okay after Tiffany left, although I know he’s kind of heartbroken. And he sends his regards to you,” I finished with a grin.
“So, you told him about us?” Seth asked.
“Well…yeah, I mean as much as I know about us.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
I turned my face towards his. “It means that it’s still new for us. As adults. It’s real now. At least that’s the way I see it.”
He pulled me closer against him. “I get it,” he said softly. “But part of me hates the fact that we seem to be having to restart it all, you know?”
“We have time, Seth. We’re still young,” I pointed out. “How did things go with your folks?”
He shrugged. “I told them about us. You know Kent. He’s down with anything. Laura acted kind of, I don’t know exactly. Kind of surprised, I guess.”
“Really? Surprised good or surprised bad?”
“Well, surprised kind of speechless. She didn’t say much one way or the other, which is unusual for her, but then, it was pretty chaotic at our house being we had a bunch of guests. My little sister has—” he stopped abruptly.
I was caught off guard when he said, “What’s wrong?”
“Wh-what? Nothing’s wrong. I was just listening to you.”
“No, you’ve had a funny look on your face ever since I mentioned Laura acting surprised. What’s up?”
I squirmed away from him, and pulled my pj bottoms back into place. “Don’t be silly,” I lied, stretching my arms out over my head and yawning. “I’m just sleepy. All that turkey I guess.”
