Living With Him

by J. L. Ostle

  I was just happy when all our furniture arrived and we booked the moving van to take us away. I love my aunt, but it’s my chirpy cousin that I can only take so much of. She was away for the summer with her friends but she came back, and the last four days were getting to be too much.

  “Let’s go take a look at our new home.” My mum smiles warmly at me and I smile back as we walk side by side while the movers start sorting out our furniture.

  I watch as my mum unlocks the front door of the building and we walk inside. Thank God, it’s clean. Dark grey covers the walls and floors. I see stairs and an elevator in front of us and we decide to take the easy route. I press the third floor and watch the numbers change on the dial. When the doors open, I see one door ahead of us and mum lets us in. I walk in first, taking in my surroundings. It’s bare for now until we unpack, but it’s clean and spacious.

  I head to the bedrooms and one is massive with an en-suite, so I’m guessing that will be my mum’s. I walk to the next door and see that it’s a bathroom. Everything in here is pearl white, and I am just happy that there is a separate bath and shower. I notice all the flooring around the place is laminated, which should make it easy to keep clean. It’s a sunny day and the sun is shining through the windows, making the place seem bright and cheerful. I get to the last door knowing it’s my room; I’m happy that it isn’t the size of a closest.

  Mum did say it was a double room, but I know people exaggerate when they advertise a double—it’s normally a single size but luckily this isn’t. I can already sense where I’m going to put all my stuff. So far this isn’t so bad. I take out my phone and Snapchat a picture of it and send it to my friends.

  God, I miss them already.

  I hated that I had to leave them, but we promised to Snapchat and FaceTime every chance we get.

  For the next couple of hours, the movers start bringing things in while Mum and I get to work. We made sure everything was labelled on the boxes so we’d know which box would belong where. I start unpacking in the kitchen first as I need my tea fix, and I know my mum will want her coffee fix soon too.

  When it comes to our looks we are very similar—long brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, with a decent figure. I am a size ten but I hate my stomach. I promised myself I’m going to start running and try to get the same figure my cousin has. I don’t think I’m ugly, but when standing next to my perfect blonde, model look-alike cousin, you start to feel dumpy, but one thing I have that she hasn’t though, is good-sized breasts. She went on and on about my D cup and complaining about her B cup. She said it was unfair and I wanted to pull her hair and drag her to the mirror and point to her face then to mine and say how is this fair? I look average and she looks like a celebrity.

  I know. I know I’m complaining, but trust me if you lived with her for more than two days you would be complaining too. I love her, she is family, but Christ, the girl can be annoying.

  When the movers finally leave, I have basically sorted out the kitchen, putting everything away, and making sure it’s clean and tidy. I don’t have OCD but I do hate mess. I put the kettle on and head to my room and I groan when I see my bed covered in boxes. I need my caffeine fix first before I can even make a start. I make myself a strong cup of tea and my mum a coffee and head to the living room where she is sorting out our entertainment centre.

  “Thought you may need this.” I place her cup on the coffee table and she turns around and smiles at me. I can see how the day is starting to take its toll on her. The dark circles under her eyes have started to become more prominent since we left my dad.

  “Thank you, sweetie, you are a star.” She takes a sip and sighs. “I am almost done in here so at least we will be able to watch television in the morning and have something to sit on without having a fort of boxes surround us.”

  I chuckle. “I got the kitchen sorted so we can have our breakfast without boxes everywhere also. I am just going to sort out my room so I have somewhere to sleep, then I think I’m going to call it a night.”

  My mum stands and walks over to me and gives me a tight hug. “Thank you for taking all this so well. You have been my rock, you know that?”

  I do. My mum has been a wreck and she is trying to move on with her life. I think if I was a complete bitch about the move and acting like a spoilt brat, she would fall apart.

  She needs me, and I will be here for her.

  “I know. So, try to not stay up too late, okay?” I tell her, and she rolls her eyes at me.

  “Yes, Mum,” she teases, and I give her a kiss on the cheek and take my tea to my room and make a start.

  I have finally made a dent in my room when my phone rings and when I look at the caller ID I groan seeing my cousin’s name appear.

  “Hi, Cara, what’s up?” I answer.

  “Hi, my beautiful cousin. How is moving day? Do you need me to pop around tomorrow to help?”

  I know she means well but her and helping wouldn’t happen. She would sit and talk as we did everything. “No, we are good. We just have our bedrooms to do and we are basically done.”

  “Wow, you two really did work your butts off. Well, I’m glad it all went okay, but I mainly called because me and some of my friends are going to a bar tomorrow night and wondered if you wanted to come. It would be a chance for you to meet my friends, and most of the people who go there are students, so a good chance to make friends, etcetera.”

  I bite my lip as I contemplate it. I do need to make friends and I don’t want to start college where the only person I know is my cousin. Plus, I love dancing and I think I need a night out. “Sounds good to me. I will see you tomorrow.” I hear her squeal and I can’t help but giggle at her excitement.

  “You are going to love it. Can’t wait to see you. Have a good night.”

  We say our goodbyes and hang up. I hang up all my clothes into my wardrobe as there is no way I’m living out of a suitcase again. I take out all of my makeup and toiletries, taking them to the bathroom.

  I can’t wait to have a relaxing bath tomorrow. As my mum has her own bathroom, this bathroom is basically mine. I look back into the living room and it’s all clean and sorted. You wouldn’t even think that we just moved in, well not until you walk down the hallway and see all the flattened boxes leaning against the wall.

  “Who was on the phone?” I jump and turn to see Mum coming out of the kitchen.

  “Don’t scare me like that! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?” I place a hand on my chest.

  “Yes, it is my life goal to give my daughter a heart attack so I can deal with all this mess on my own.” She waves her arms around indicating the boxes. “I heard you talking on the phone,” she says again.

  Sometimes I think she thinks I’m still talking to Dad, which I am not. “It was Cara. She asked me to go out with her and her friends tomorrow—I said I would.”

  “That will be fun. You can make some new friends.”

  “Well, that was the idea,” I chuckle.

  “Okay then, so I’ll see you in the morning. Thought you were going to have an early night?” She smiles at me.

  “I was until dedication took over. I’m not living out of my suitcase for another day. I just put some stuff in the bathroom, but I am going to bed now. My eyes are starting to get heavy.” I pout at her and she pats my head.

  “Aww, my poor baby. Go and sleep.”

  I watch her walk to her room and I head to mine. I change into a long black T-shirt that covers my ass and fall onto my bed, hugging my pillow. It doesn’t take long until sleep takes over.

  The day has flown right in and I’m now getting ready for my night out. We finally got rid of all the boxes and the place really does look homey, but it’s temporary. We even ordered Chinese takeout and sat on the couch looking around with accomplishment. I thought it was going to take days but like my mum, once we have something set, we are determined to get it done.

  I Googled Randi’s Bar, the rock bar Cara is dragging me to and
it’s a place where rock bands can play. Luckily for me, it isn’t far from here. I just hope her friends like me. I can’t believe this is going to be my first proper night out in America. It still feels surreal. My mum was born here, her family is here, hence why we moved here, but I miss England.

  I think I deserve a drink and to dance my little butt off. At least I have only a year left of college. I do want to move back after, but I don’t really want to leave my mum behind; it’s something I’m trying not to think about until I have to. All my friends were jealous when I told them I will be spending my senior year of college in the US. I will be at the same school as Cara since we are the same age—she is just a few months older than me—but just like appearances, we are total opposites.

  I look in the mirror, turning side to side, making sure my belly bump isn’t too noticeable. God, I look like I’m pregnant at times, so I nod once when I’m satisfied I look okay. I have decided to wear a black boob tube top with black jeans that make my ass look amazing. I went with my black suede heels to make me look taller than what I am. Being five foot four makes me feel like a dwarf.

  “Oh, sweetie, you look amazing.”

  I see Mum standing in the doorway through the mirror. “You sure I don’t look wide?” I look at myself in the mirror again.

  She shakes her head at me. “You look beautiful.”

  Of course, she is going to say that, she is my mother.

  I decided to keep my hair down and my makeup natural. Well, this is as good as it’s going to get. I am putting on my cross necklace when I hear the buzzer. Mum leaves to let Cara in and I quickly grab my leather jacket and head to the door. When I reach it, Mum is opening the door and Cara walks in wearing a tight black dress and I start to feel like I’m underdressed.

  “O.M.G. I am so excited about tonight. It’s going to be so much fun,” Cara squeals, running to give me a hug. She steps back and she really does look like a model. She looks me up and down and beams at me. “You look so hot. Love the rocker look.”

  I wasn’t going for that look but I just nod and smile. “Thanks, well you look amazing.”

  She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder and smiles. “Thank you. It took me forever to decide what to wear but I’m happy with the dress. My future husband is playing tonight so I want to make sure he notices me.”

  With that tight dress, he will be blind if he didn’t.

  “Your future husband?” I ask her.

  “Yes, my future husband. He is the lead singer and guitarist in this popular band called Dark Players. He is so hot and his voice is orgasmic. I really, really like him but he is sort of a player. I think if he gave me a shot I could be the one to tame him. To tame the rockstar.”

  Okay, my cousin is delusional—if this guy sleeps around, he is going to use and discard her. “Just be careful, okay? Don’t spread your legs just because he clicks his fingers.”

  “Iris,” Mum says sternly.

  “Sorry, but it’s true.” I shrug.

  “I don’t care, please don’t talk like that in front of me, it’s weird.”

  Cara and I burst out laughing. “Okay, I will wait till you are gone.” I smile sweetly at her.

  “Thanks, I guess.” She kisses my cheek and then Cara’s. “Have fun but not too much fun.”

  Cara links her arm through mine and drags me out the door. “Bye, Aunt Chrissie,” she yells over her shoulder and we get in the lift and head down while Cara goes on and on about her future husband. I know his name is Sebastian and he is our age and goes to college with us. By the time we get to the bar, I feel like I know the guy, even though I have never met him.

  Randi’s looks massive from the outside and loads of people are going in. As we get closer, we can already hear the muffled music from within. Cara got a text on our way here saying her friends were here and waiting for us.

  Once we enter, I feel the heat hit me, and the music is loud but not too loud that I wouldn’t be able to hear anyone speak. There is an open space in front of us and a stage on the far end with a band already playing, which actually sounds decent. I look at the stage with a sigh and continue to look around. I see a bar on the left-hand side and I can’t wait to order my first drink. I look around some more and see tables and booths scattered around but still leaving plenty of space for people to dance.

  “The nights some of the popular bands play are the busiest,” Cara says, as she links her arm through mine again and drags me to a booth, which I assume her friends are at. “Hi, guys. This is my cousin Iris, so be nice to her.”

  I feel my cheeks blush for some reason. I feel their eyes go on me as they check me out.

  “Hey,” they say in unison.

  I give them a little wave. Cara sits next to a blonde-haired girl who also looks like she could be a model. Her eyes check me up and down and I can tell she doesn’t like me. I sit opposite her, which means I sit next to the guy, who is also blond but with spiked hair. He is attractive, with a boy next door kind of look, but how his eyes trail over my body, I can tell he is a player.

  “I am Calvin, nice to meet you, Iris.” He puts out his hand to shake, which I do, but at the last second, he pulls my hand to his lips and gives me a grin.

  “Likewise, I’m sure,” I say politely.

  “I love your accent.”

  “Thanks.” I turn to Cara and she looks happy; I think she thinks this is going well.

  “Yeah, heard you came all the way from England. What’s that about? I’m Anna by the way,” the blonde says, leaning forward.

  I look at Cara and she is glaring at her friend. “Well, I wanted to spend my last year of college with my cousin.” I shrug and she still stares at me, not happy with the answer I gave her—well tough shit.

  “Hmm,” is all she says and they all start talking about people and places I have never heard of.

  After twenty minutes, I start to feel bored, so I tell Cara that I am going to the bar and she asks me if I want her to come with me but I tell her I will be fine. I just want to be on my own for a moment.

  I head to the bar and order myself a bottle of beer and a shot of tequila. The bartender asks if I want salt and lime but I decline, and he looks at me like I grew two heads. He watches me down the shot unflinchingly. I am used to my drink—I am not like those girls who make pouty faces.

  “Wow, hard-core,” the cute bartender says and I can’t help but smile.

  “Thanks.” I lift my bottle and take my first sip and I sigh with satisfaction.

  I turn around and lean my back against the bar as I look around me. I look at our booth and Cara seems to be in her element. If I was back home I would be in mine—talking about people and places that I know, not sitting here feeling lost. I watch the band playing and their music is catchy. It must be their original work. I know music and they are good. I know I should head back but I’m happy being right where I am.

  Alone.

  “Think you could do with another.” When I turn around, the same bartender is smiling at me. He lifts a shot glass indicating the drink and I watch him pour more tequila. “On the house.”

  I smile and take the shot as he watches. I drink it like it’s water.

  “You were right, bro, that was hot,” I hear another bartender say. They are both smiling at me. They look like they could be twins. Both have mousy brown hair and light green eyes.

  “I’m Cory, and this is Sean,” the bartender who gave me the shot says.

  “I’m Iris.” I shake both their hands and unlike how Calvin shook mine, theirs are friendly.

  “Nice to meet you. So what is a badass like yourself doing here?” They both lean forward on the bar, leaning on their arms.

  I look down the bar and see some glares from a few of the women nearby. “I just moved here from England. Doing my last year of college here.”

  “I guess we will be seeing much more of you then; we will be going to the same school,” Sean says, standing back up and returning to serving.

  “
Well, welcome to the States and if you need to know anything, you know where to find me. I work most nights, same as my brother.” He points to Sean; I knew they were twins.

  “Thanks, really appreciate that.” I do, I’m happy that I made two new friends. I take another sip of my beer and look back to our booth and he follows my stare.

  “You know them?” he asks me, nodding in their direction.

  “Cara is my cousin, just met the other two tonight.”

  “Cara is your cousin, now that’s interesting—wouldn’t have guessed.”

  Yeah, most people wouldn’t. “Yeah, I know.”

  I stay at the bar talking to either Cory or Sean and I’m actually having a good time. Cara comes over every now and then to make sure I’m okay. When the twins start to get too busy to talk, I just watch the band play. I am looking at the stage as the current band goes offstage. The lights overhead turn off.

  “Oh, my God, he is coming on.” I hear a shriek and see Cara standing next to me, pulling my arm.

  The crowd is cheering and already the floor in front of the stage fills with women. I must admit my interest is piqued. A single spotlight comes on and I see a guy’s silhouette. I try to squint my eyes to get a better look, but I still can’t see him well. I watch him as he walks to the microphone and he stops. No music, no sound, and the crowd quietens. I watch as he looks around him. Then I feel it. I feel like he is looking over in my direction, but surely he isn’t looking at me.

  I hear drums start off a beat, then the guitar and bass join in. When the first words leave his mouth, I feel like I’m frozen on the spot. His voice is husky but soothing all at the same time. I feel like his words are penetrating right through me. Full light now covers the stage and I can really see him and the band. But my eyes are trained on him as I take him all in.

  His black T-shirt looks tight on him, his jeans just sitting on his hips, and when he strums his guitar, I notice how his muscular arms bulge. He stops playing and holds the microphone with both hands, and even his hands look sexy. I have been attracted to men before, but not like this. I feel mesmerised.