And then it hit me. I didn’t want space today. I wanted him.
K
I didn’t even have time to put my phone down before it buzzed again.
wanna ride home?
I bit my lip to keep from grinning like an idiot.
Yes
Again, I caught his eye but turned away before I embarrassed myself further.
“What did he say?” Ava asked and I relayed the text. A giddy grin appeared on her face and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“So, what’s going on with you two?” Julia asked, putting her phone on the table. That was a first.
“I don’t know,” I said, somewhat truthfully. “We’ve been hanging out a little. The other day we went to the museum after school.”
“I’ve never seen you talk at school, though. What’s with that?”
Ava leaned her elbows on the table. “They do, too. I have class with them and they talk a lot.” ‘A lot’ was a bit of a stretch, but I appreciated her support. “Just because they don’t mark their territory in the hallway every day doesn’t mean nothing’s going on between them.”
I coughed, almost choking on a pretzel. Thankfully though, this seemed to appease Julia, and she and Ava launched into a full discussion of clothing and hair choices for Saturday. I listened with little interest until they focused on my wardrobe.
“You should wear your hair down, Jane,” Julia said, reaching across the table to tug on my ever-present ponytail.
“You think?” I asked. Ever since it had grown out I wore it back, proud that it was long enough. I fingered the ends and thought about it.
Ava swallowed a gulp of water. “And wear those dark jeans. Those look great on you.”
“Yep,” Julia said. “They make your ass look amazing.”
“What?” I touched my butt. My butt could be described many ways; big, round, curvy, hippy…but not amazing.
“It’s true,” Ava said.
Note to self: Wear Awesomeing Butt Jeans.
The girls continued around me and I couldn't help but forget for a moment all the bad stuff from earlier in the week. Evan's mom and her creepy boyfriend. Connor's anger. It was a bright spot in the middle of a dreary week and I planned to bask in it.
BY THE TIME CONNOR was supposed to pick me up for our date, I’d managed to work myself into quite the typical girl frenzy. I was working at my parents’ shop, wishing the time would go by faster, but instead it just dragged.
I’d dressed before my shift, yet found myself in the bathroom adjusting the shirt and sweater I had chosen. More than once I cursed myself for not bringing an alternative. The truth was, it was a good thing I was at work and not home because I would have changed a dozen times by now. Insecurities kept flooding my mind. My nose was too small, my hips too wide (despite butt-awesomeing jeans), my voice too loud. I was flooded by nerves and so many ridiculous thoughts that I almost called and backed out of this stupid date. Ava would kill me and Connor would have shown up anyway. I had a feeling no one ever told him ‘no.’
As I dusted and rearranged the pottery near a large, over-sized antique mirror, I caught myself checking my reflection more than once. I had redone my hair so many times that my father asked if I had a problem.
Oh, I had a problem all right.
My problem was that at any minute my not-boyfriend was coming to pick me up for some kind of quasi double date and I was freaking out. I’d been on dates before. Grace’s boyfriend Drew set me up more than once with his friends so we could all go places together, but I never cared for them like I did for Connor. Not at all.
The door opened and my heart seized. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, but when I looked over, two women browsed near the front of the store.
“Get it together, moron,” I said to myself.
My dad walked out of the back room. “What’s that, honey?”
“Nothing. Just talking to myself.”
He stepped over to the counter top and shuffled through some papers. “When’s your date getting here?”
Oh. God. “Not a date, Dad.” Just a friend. Just. A. Friend.
Iwantedhimtobemorethanafriend.
He chuckled to himself, causing my defenses to flare, but I knew better than to get into it with him. I was just happy they were letting me go out after getting caught the other afternoon. I started to change the topic when I saw his eyes focus behind me and I turned to see Connor standing a foot away.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” I said, trying not to notice how fantastic he looked. And calm. He looked calm. He always looked calm.
“Hi,” he said again and I ducked my head to hide the goofy grin on my face. Could we be any lamer?
My dad cleared his throat. “I’m Mr. Watts, you must be Connor.”
Connor stepped around me and I watched as he offered his hand to my father. How horrible to be a boy and go through this...this assessment. Connor hadn’t shaved, but I could see that the back of his hair was still damp from showering. I could smell the soap. I wondered if my father noticed these things. Probably not.
“Yes sir,” he said while pumping hands. “Nice to meet you.”
Well, who knew? Connor Jacobs had manners.
My dad released his hand, pleased.
“Where are you going tonight?” Dad asked, looking between the two of us.
“We’re meeting Ava and Connor’s friend Christian at the Thai place, remember?” I said, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice. Getting hostile wouldn’t help anyone. I did impatiently begin shuffling my feet in the direction of the door, hoping everyone would take the hint.
“Okay, then. Midnight?” he prompted.
I rolled my eyes and began to protest, but Connor stepped in. “No problem, sir,” he said, those inexplicable manners peeking out from under his typical air of smug overconfidence and bad boy charm. He lifted his chin in my direction and asked, “Ready?”
“Yeah, let me get my stuff.” I moved behind the counter and took my bag off the hook underneath and grabbed my coat.
On the way out of the store I stopped and gave my dad a quick hug so he would know I wasn’t too annoyed. The minute we got outside I said, “Who taught you such fine manners?” I bumped him with my elbow.
He feigned offense, placing a hand over his heart. “My mother, of course. I was raised in the South. It’s in the water. Like sweet tea or grits.”
I hummed. “I suppose it’s true.” There were still certain expectations for a well-raised boy, at least in front of adults.
He led me to his car, taking long strides ahead to open the passenger door for me. I paused before climbing in, pushing my back against the metal frame. “Aren’t you pushing this a little, with the door and everything?”
He shrugged. “No. It’s what I always do when I take a girl on a date.” He emphasized the word.
I tried not to show any emotion to his declaration. I swallowed. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said, resting his arms over the top of the door.
“So what else should I expect?” I asked trying to be brave, yet feeling overwhelmed from his closeness and his words.
His eyes narrowed in thought, but then without warning he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. His lips moved gently and his mouth was warm and soft. He tasted like mint toothpaste and smelled like detergent and it was nice. Really, really nice.
He pulled away and smiled, slow and lazy. “What was that?” I asked, trying to retain some composure despite the fact that it was impossible.
“You asked what to expect. I was definitely going to do that tonight.”
Speechless at his unwavering confidence, I just turned and sat in the car. I used the time between Connor shutting the door and closing his own to catch my breath and will the redness from my face.
He cranked the car and he fiddled with the radio, eventually stopping on an acceptable station. Without facing me, he asked, “Was that okay?”
Was he crazy? “Yeah.”
That same slow grin crept across his mouth, and I could feel one on my own. I pretended to act nonchalant when he passed over the gearshift, and I allowed him to lace his fingers with mine.
He looked over and said, “I’ve been wanting to do that since New Year’s Eve.”
Me too, I thought, but I wasn’t brave enough to say it. “Took you long enough.”
He rubbed his thumb across the outside of my hand. “Oh yeah. I’ve regretted it every day since.” He moved his hand to shift gears but immediately came back. “Drunk and stupid. I’m glad you gave me another chance.”
I swallowed hard. “I’m not really sure I had a choice.”
With his eyes forward and his hand wrapped in mine he said, “Me either.”
“DID YOU JUST HUSTLE me?” he asked, leaning his back against the tiny blue car. We had left the bowling alley an hour ago. Christian and Ava took off in her car to go home, and Connor and I were now outside my house. I checked my watch in the street light. I had eight minutes until curfew.
“No.”
“You just schooled me and everyone else in bowling. How did you do it?”
The truth? I had no idea. I’d only bowled once before in my life but tonight I had kicked bowling butt. A fluke, but I didn’t plan on confessing that. “I’m afraid I can’t share my secret bowling skills.” I offered him a patronizing smile. “Sorry.”
He took a false menacing step forward. “I could make you tell me.”
I couldn’t even pretend to care. Every time he touched me, the swoony, silly girl in me got worse. I was starting to think he took every opportunity to make contact. I lifted one of my hands, and made a motion. “It’s all in the wrist.”
Connor half-laughed, half-coughed. “All in the wrist, you say?”
“What?” I asked.
His eyebrow arched and caught my hand in his. “Something to remember, I guess.”
Realization dawned on me and I slipped from his grasp. “Are you being perverted?”
Shaking his head, he took another step closer and pushed my hair behind my ear. “I like it when you smile.”
I liked seeing him smile, too, and tonight with Ava and Christian was the most relaxed I’d seen him. Once he’d convinced me, with that very real (and hot) kiss, that we were on a date, I shook off my nerves and had a good time. The boys were goofy and fun to watch and Ava and I always had a good time together. It had been a perfect night.
“I think my time is up,” I said, motioning to the light that flicked on and off once in an upstairs window. Connor followed me up the steps, hands and body hovering close to mine. At the top, I turned so we were eye level. “Thanks for tonight. I needed it.”
His hand moved from the railing to my hip. “Me, too.”
Connor tilted his head, causing his hair to brush across my forehead, and kissed me. It was softer than the first time, although his fingers switched from tentative to firm on my hip. My hands moved around his waist, clasping on his back, and he rested his forehead on mine. He was so close. He smelled so good.
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
“A little,” I confessed. “So, Mrs. Crawford gave you a permission slip?”
“Yeah, she called, too. I think they were a little worried about my record but she persuaded them to let me come with you.”
“She likes you.”
He shrugged. “I told you. I can be charming. Even Mrs. Crawford isn’t immune to my powers.”
“I’m sure that was it.” What I wouldn’t give for an ounce of his confidence.
“No, I think she likes the idea of me doing community service there and giving back. It’s not such a bad idea, considering.”
“Ava’s picking me up at ten. Meet us there?” I asked, slipping out of his arms. I needed to go in before someone came out and got me. Connor’s fingers grasped one last time at the waist of my jeans, but I tugged out of reach.
“Night,” I said, with my back to the door, fumbling with the knob.
He smiled, cute and confident, the smile of a boy who just scored a kiss. I forced my way inside, and latched the door behind me. My heart pounded wildly in my chest, and I leaned back on the door to catch my breath. In the dark foyer I forced myself to twist the lock before I went back out and gave him another kiss. I wanted to go out there. I wanted to hold on to the moment, the kisses and the laughing and good times with friends. Tomorrow we were going to the shelter, and I was afraid to let him enter that world with me. I wanted us to stay good and not be tainted further by the reality of our situation. Connor’s car started up with its usual commotion and I turned off the porch light before heading upstairs.
Halfway up to my room my phone vibrated in my pocket. There was no way he had even made it off my street yet.
did u have fun?
My phone glowed in the dark stairwell as I typed my reply.
Yes
Is it lame or creepy that I miss you already?
I sighed with relief. I was glad it wasn’t only me. Creepy? Yes. Lame? Totally.
Can I pick you up tomorrow?
Yes-I’ll tell Ava
Goodnight, Jane
I climbed the final steps to my room and texted my own goodnight, forgetting my worries about the next day.
SITTING IN THE MIDDLE of the utilitarian, lunchroom style table were two giant, handmade cards and a sloppy but endearing cake. Both cards had the words ‘thank you’ emblazoned across the front in glitter and marker, while the cake had thick chocolate icing with rainbow colored sprinkles scattered over the top.
I looked at Ava and smiled. It was too much.
“Everyone! Can I have your attention?” Stephanie commanded from the center of the room. Most of the children and adults quieted and listened to the director. “We wanted to thank Ava and Jane for coming over the holidays to help the kids make crafts.” She gestured in our direction and dozens of eyes landed on us. I hated being recognized.
Safehaven was different than the last time we were here. Last time we came it was a weekday, over school break, so there had only been children and staff around the facility. Today though, it was mid-Sunday afternoon and there were mothers and children filling the game room. More adults prepared snacks for the little party in the kitchen. Connor stood with his back against the far wall next to the door. After last night, I was happy he insisted on coming.
Stephanie said a few more complimentary things about us before she cut into the cake, which prompted squeals of delight from the younger children. She and several other workers doled out hunks on small paper plates for the children to pass around to the adults in the room. Jasmine, the little girl I met the first time, came over and gave me a large piece.
“Thank you!” I said, dropping to one knee.
“It’s chocolate,” she said, pointing at the cake.
I swiped the icing with my finger and popped it into my mouth. “Yum, I love chocolate! Where’s your cake?”
She whipped her head around, causing her braids to swish across her back. “Over there.”
She pointed to two women at a table with several other children who were already eating cake. I assumed the dark haired woman was Jasmine’s mother, since the other woman had blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and had two blonde girls next to her.
“Well thank you for bringing me the cake,” I said, tugging on a braid.
Jasmine giggled, her eyes lit up and she said, “We’re going home tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I bet you’re excited.”
“Mama says I can have my own room this time and not share with Xavier.”
“That’s great!” I remembered Evan left the shelter once, too, but maybe things would be better for this little girl. Connor appeared over her shoulder with two bottles of water clutched in one hand. I stood and took one. “Connor, this is Jasmine.”
“Hey, Jasmine,” he said, before twisting off the cap from his water and putting it to his lips. As usual, he was completely at ease in this new, different environment.
Nothing seemed to faze him.
She gave him a wide gap-toothed smile. Looking between us she said, “Is he your husband?”
I laughed and Connor choked on the water he was swallowing. “No, we’re not married. I’m only seventeen. I’m too young to have a husband.”
Her tiny dark eyebrows furrowed. “My mama had my brother when she was only fifteen.”
Again, Connor drank from his bottle. Chicken.”You should probably go eat your cake before someone else does, okay?”
Jasmine’s brown eyes grew wide, and she gasped at the thought before running back to the table. I turned to Connor, pretending that horrifying moment hadn’t occurred, and held up my plate. “Cake?”
Connor picked up the fork and stabbed a huge piece, shoving it into his mouth. “At our wedding, can we have vanilla icing? That’s my favorite.” He laughed before the words were all the way out of his mouth.
I rolled my eyes. “Shut it.”
Ava came over and said, “Did you see that little girl who came over to me?” Connor took the empty plates from the two of us and slipped to the trash can. I saw him snag another piece of cake from the table, giving Stephanie a charming grin.
“No.”
“That little girl over there—with the curly hair. She said she missed our last project and wanted to know if we could come back again.”
These kids. They shouldn’t want to be here. This place shouldn’t be better than home. I tried to get a better look, but all I saw was a mass of hair. “That was sweet.”
I did see Connor, though, cramming cake in his mouth. He detoured over to the photos on the wall, licking icing off his fork. I felt a sharp pinch on my arm. “Ouch!”
“Sorry,” Ava said, in a voice that implied anything but. “I was surprised to see Connor with you today.”
I shrugged it off. “He wanted to come.”
“How did he get permission? You know they’re secretive about this location. It’s dangerous for the women.”
“I know. He went to Mrs. Crawford and got a letter from her and clearance to do service hours here with us. I guess they have some arrangement with the school.” I’d wondered this myself and thought it would be close to impossible for him to come with us, but as usual, Connor seemed to have persuasive powers. I suspected it was his eyes. I was pretty sure they could convince me to do anything.
Wraith Page 15
