by Gina Gordon
Her mother's face was indifferent. She was neither angry nor sad. Just blank.
“I met him at a party. He…” Liv still couldn't believe she had fallen for his trick. “He blackmailed one of his employees into dating me…Jake. I stupidly fell for him. I let him in and the next think I knew, he had lured me into the lion's den.”
“What did he say to you?”
What didn't Jake say to get her to stay? He was practically on bended knee. “He said he wanted to continue with our relationship, that…”
Her mother looked confused. “I meant what did your father say to you?”
She had just twisted around this entire tragic disaster and centered it around Jake. How long was it going to take to get him out of her system?
“Nothing. I freaked and ran away. But he did send me a letter.”
Her mother acknowledged with a lift of one eyebrow.
Although Liv was scared to death, she wanted answers. “Why didn't you ever tell me why he left?”
“I didn't think it mattered.” Her mother waved her hand in indifference. “He left.”
Liv nodded. At the end of the day the whys never mattered. He had left. He had lied and manipulated his way into her life. And Jake had done the same thing. Overcome with anger, she blurted out the words she had always thought but was too afraid to say out loud.
“I don't want to end up you like you, Mom. I don't want to end up alone, knowing that I just wasn't good enough.”
Her mother's head fell forward.
“I know now it's better to be alone. But I'm going to be alone on my own terms. Because I want to be. Not because I'm broken.”
“Oh, sweetheart, is that what you think?” Her mother left the chair and perched herself on the couch by Liv's hip. “I've failed miserably, haven't I?”
Her mother was far from a failure. Just a victim of a selfish man's actions. She had raised her doing the best she could with the means she had available. Liv could never fault her for that.
“I should have taken the time to set you straight.” Ruth placed her hand over Liv's trembling hands. “The day I married your father, I knew he was restless. He was a good man and he married me. We bought a house, had you, and did everything that we were supposed to. It was enough for me. I had everything I ever wanted.” Her gaze darted away to the corner of the room and she sighed, squeezing Liv's hand. “But it wasn't enough for him.”
The bigger picture began to form. Her mom was playing the victim, but a different kind of victim. A victim of herself. She blamed herself for the fact that he had left.
“I won't lie. I was devastated when he left. But I can't fault your father for going after his dream. What if someone told you that you couldn't open your bakery?” Liv never expected her mother to be so candid. “Your father always wanted to live in the city. He asked me to go with him but I didn't want to leave here. He wanted the hustle and bustle, and that's exactly what he got. I'm better off without him, because I couldn't look into his disappointed face for one more day.”
Would things have been different if her mother had told her from the beginning? Would she have been able to live her life without a shield? Maybe she would already be married and have a baby on the way. Her thoughts immediately centered on Jake in a tux, waiting for her under an archway of flowers as she walked down the aisle.
She wasn't blaming her mother for keeping the truth. Things had worked out this way for a reason. “Maybe I would be able to love a man…and let him love me back.”
Her mother had tears in her eyes now. No doubt blaming herself for something else that was out of her control.
Regardless of the new information, it was still her father's fault. He had obligations. A child. There was no reason for him to disappear without a trace. He could have kept in touch.
“I always wondered how this conversation would go.” Her mother shook her head and smiled. “It's surprisingly calm.”
Liv didn't expect to ever have this conversation. At least not such an honest conversation.
“Who is this Jake fellow?” her mother asked.
Liv's heart fluttered at the mention of his name. She was hopeless. “He's no one.”
“That can't be true if he loves you.”
Liv tensed. “Who said he loves me?”
“Olivia, even you can't be so blind.” Her mother slid off the couch and returned to the chair. “He might have been wrapped up in a situation that ended badly, but a man who cares about only himself would not have followed you out of the room and asked you to forgive him. It's as simple as that.”
It wasn't so simple in Liv's mind. It was betrayal.
Ruth stood and fixed her robe. She leaned down and cupped Liv's cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb. “You may have the door to your heart locked, Olivia, but there is one person in this world who has the key. Don't be so blind that you let him get away.”
If that were the truth, Jake would have thrown out the key days ago. How was she supposed to forgive? How did she forget? She'd given him more than any other man, ever. And he'd taken advantage of that.
With a final squeeze, her mother let go and walked toward the stairway.
“I love you, Mom.”
Ruth stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned with a smile. “With icing on top.”
Liv fisted her hands and dropped them against her sides. This was not her. This was not the woman she had wanted to be. She was not the type to lie on a couch pining away for a man who had stolen her heart. She had a business to rebuild.
She was hiding. And it was time to come up from under the covers. Liv ripped away the blanket and stood. It was too late to venture home today, but first thing in the morning, she'd go back to her life. And set things straight. Without Jake Miller.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jake loved the smell of the ice. Especially on a crisp February morning when the sun peeked from behind large, billowy clouds.
It was Sunday. His favorite day of the week, when he and his friends played their favorite game. Hockey. It wasn't competitive, but it was organized, with goalies and line changes and the score being kept. But regardless of who won, it was about the love of the game.
He loved the zip he got in his stomach when the buzzer went off, signaling a goal. He loved the sound of the puck slapping against the boards. He loved the way it set everything into focus.
Under normal circumstances.
This week, however, his focus wasn't on getting the puck in the net. It wanted to check the display on his BlackBerry to see if Liv had called him back. According to Patti's message, Liv had finally come home.
Two weeks ago, Jake was a no-show for the game. He had more important things to do, like Liv. On the kitchen island. With icing all over her body. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
The whistle brought Jake back to reality and he skated to center, extending his stick, catching a pass from Brian on his left. He skated over the blue line along the boards, narrowly missing a body check. He staggered, ducking, sliding across the ice on one knee, then scrambled up. He grappled with one of the players on the opposing team, winning away the puck and racing around the net. But the goalie was too fast. His foot had blocked the side of the net, denying him a classic wrap-around goal.
The whistle sounded when the goalie gobbled up the puck in his glove and Jake returned to the bench. He was greeted with encouragement from his teammates, like Tony, who had by-passed him on his way to take a faceoff.
Jake took a seat and grabbed his water bottle. Why hadn't she called him back? She should have been home by now. He needed to apologize. And it was going to happen today. She wasn't going to hide from him any longer.
“Jake.” He barely registered his name being called over his own thoughts. “Miller? You're up,” one of his teammates yelled from the end of the bench. Had it been two minutes already?
Brian nudged his arm, probably hoping it would snap him out of his trance. He stood just as Tony returned to the bench and shot B
rian a sideways glance. There were three other people he needed to apologize to as well. His friends had put up with a scatterbrained Jake for the last few weeks, more so the last couple of days since things had gone down the shitter with Liv. Without a job, Jake had no choice but to sit and mope. The only relief was the few outings he'd taken with his camera. But after seeing Liv through his lens, nothing was as beautiful.
Maybe if Liv knew he still played hockey every week it would be another item on his “pro” list. She said she loved hockey players. He wasn't a superstar, never had been. Unlike Brian, who had been a god on the ice in high school but had never played a full season. His asthma was too much for him to cope with. Despite Brian's skill and membership on the team, his nerdiness always won out. The glasses, Star Wars T-shirts, and science fiction novels never held the interest of the ladies.
The buzzer sounded and Jake's head shot up. He hadn't left center ice. The play had gone on without him even moving. He glanced over to the bench. Tony and Brian were huddled along the backboard where Miles hung over the edge. They all looked at him like he was a patient in the psych ward—with careful scrutiny and sympathy.
When the game was over, Jake removed his gloves and skates, throwing them in the trunk of his car. He slid his hockey stick in the back seat. Brian, Tony, and Miles were huddled around the open trunk of Brian's car over…something. He couldn't tell what.
The air had warmed a little now that there were fewer clouds in the sky. But it didn't mean he could be lax with his outerwear. His fingers and ears would fall to frostbite in minutes if left uncovered. He secured his post-hockey game toque and gloves and walked to where his friends huddled together. A quick glance at his watch told him he still had a few hours before he could show up to see Liv. He didn't want to disturb her so early in the day. Or maybe, he was just scared. But he knew only one thing was going to take his mind off his troubles.
“Are we going to grab a few beers?” Jake asked.
They all went rigid at the sound of his voice then turned to greet him. But they didn't look at him. No, they stared at each other. Not one of them answered his question. Miles wore a smug expression, his orange hat pulled down way too close to his eyes. Brian stared at Tony, blowing into his hands to keep them from freezing. Tony shuffled in his spot, holding one skate in each hand. They had been acting weird all morning, but this was a whole new level of quirkiness. But if he were honest, he was the one who was acting weird. He's the one who had completely spaced on the ice.
“I'll take that as a no, we're not going for beers.”
“We're going to help you win Liv back,” Tony said.
That comment came out of nowhere. “What?”
“You need to break out the big guns,” Tony continued. “And we're going to help you.”
“Guys, I appreciate the effort, but she's not taking my calls. I might have the chance to see her later, but…”
“Look…Jake.” Brian shoved his hands in the pockets of his black jacket. “We've always looked up to you in the woman department. You're always so smooth and confident. Nothing like me.”
Jake smiled. Brian was the best guy he knew. And the woman who took the time to get to know him would be the luckiest woman in the world. He was also the most sentimental of the group. And just because they had just finished a hockey game and were covered in sweat, ready to spend the afternoon drinking beer, didn't stop him from speaking from the heart.
“No matter how much you deny it, all those women you dated were only stand-ins. You were looking for someone, the someone. After all these years, you finally found her.”
“And you're just going to let her go,” Miles blurted. A white cloud of breath lingered in front of his face.
“I'm not. I'm going to go there to ask for her forgiveness. It's going to be tough. I fucked up. Big time fucked up.” He had told his friends the whole story. They already knew about the deal he had made with Shelton. The father that took off and deserted her when she was a child. Most importantly, they knew that Jake had fallen in love with her.
He eyed his friends. They had the most curious expressions. Tony nudged Brian with his elbow and he smiled then turned, reaching into the trunk.
He pulled out a reusable shopping bag. “You need our help.” Brian glanced at Tony on his right and Miles on his left. “And we know exactly what you need in order to get Liv back.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Liv stood in the middle of her destroyed bakery, the pungent stench of smoke and ash filling her lungs. The sight of her dream, charred and ashen, grabbed hold of her, and it took everything she had not to fall to her knees.
The insurance company had finally gotten clearance from the fire inspector to go inside the building and assess the damage. With proof of loss forms and deductibles discussed, the renovations would start by the end of the week. And first thing tomorrow morning, the insurer was sending a company to remove all of the fire-damaged furniture and equipment. But Liv wanted to sift through her own things. As she looked around, she knew that salvaging…anything…wasn't a possibility.
She stumbled over burned pieces of wood and metal, making her way over to the counter. Walls that were once pink were now gray and black. The flames had eaten the curtain separating the kitchen from the storefront. Its only indication of existence was the rings that hung lifelessly from the track along the doorframe.
She was assured coverage for the damages. Since the fire was a result of the building's faulty wiring, it would be the landlord's insurance policy that paid. But looking around, her optimism at re-opening the bakery was swallowed up by the horrific scene. Liv second-guessed whether she wanted to take on this venture again. The fire had not only burned away the tangible parts of her dream; it had also burned away her drive and determination.
Her friends had tried to weasel their way into coming with her, but she'd refused. This was something she needed to do on her own. If she had any hope of starting over, she needed to purge. Get rid of everything that was burned and tainted by the fire. Unfortunately, throwing out herself was not an option.
She took one look at the formerly brown couch and decided that it was the first item that needed to make its way to the back alley. She struggled to get it behind the counter and into the kitchen. From there, it was a breeze…until she reached the back door and had to turn it on an angle in order to push it through.
Tears ran down her face without shame. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would be cleaning up after a fire. Renovating? Yes. Renovating and sweeping away the black layer of soot that covered everything she owned? No.
The couch caught on the doorframe as she tried to pull it out into the evening air. The sun was just about to set. Until then, the small piece that sat above the horizon shone brightly in the distance.
Liv maneuvered the couch on its side and it fell through the doorway. She stumbled but righted herself quickly and pulled it to the side of the building. The tiny glimmer of daylight setting to the left blinded her and she had to turn her head toward the wall.
She pushed the couch flush against the brick. Bending over, she grabbed on to one of the arms with both hands and began to cry. She cried for her business, for her broken dreams. Most of all, she cried for her broken heart—a heart that was never supposed to be given away in the first place.
Wiping the tears from her face, she stood tall. There was no sense dwelling over something she couldn't change. She couldn't turn back time. She couldn't go back to the day she met Jake at the bar and choose a different course. She couldn't go back and keep a closer eye on the bakery so as not to have it go up in flames.
The crunch of gravel behind her caught her attention and she turned. Lifting her hand to cover her eyes from the glare, she glimpsed a dark figure that slowly made its way toward her.
Her breath caught when she took in the square shoulders and lean body. She could pick out that body in a crowd. She could pick out that body with just her hands while blindfolded.
&
nbsp; Jake.
He walked close enough that his hulking frame blocked the sun and she lowered her hand. He looked different. The confidence in his step a little less, the sly grin that usually spread across his face replaced with a sullen look.
In his hand he held a reusable grocery bag. She tried to remember if she had left anything at his place. Wasn't that what usually happened after a break up? One party would show up with a bag or a box of items that used to mean something to the relationship. But it didn't matter why he stood in front of her, because seeing him made all the reasons why she hated him disappear. And all the reasons why she had been avoiding him no longer made sense.
He sidled a little closer, with no indication as to the thoughts or feelings running through his brain.
“I love you.” The words took a few seconds to register. “I thought I would start with that because it's the most important thing I want you to know. The second is, I'm sorry." He pulled out a small box from the bag. Too big for a ring. Too small for anything substantial. “I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to fix this between us. I want to fix this between us.”
He gestured for her to take the container. She lifted it off his palm and unhooked the opaque plastic.
Her breath caught at the sight of a single cupcake. Chocolate with white icing. On the top, red gel icing was squeezed out into the shape of a heart. By the shakiness of the piping and the uneven dollop of frosting, it was clear that he'd made it himself. But in the middle of the heart was a cartoon of a man and a woman. The woman wore an apron. It was supposed to be them. An avatar. He'd gotten Miles involved.
Even though she had forgiven him the moment he stepped into her view, this was the perfect peace offering. This container held something very substantial. A second chance.
“There's nothing a cupcake can't fix, right?” His voice traveled from where he was standing.
Her eyes began to water again.
“If it's too much to forgive me, if it's too big that even a cupcake can't fix this mess I've gotten us into, then I've brought reinforcements.”
