I don't know where that came from. But somehow I know that if he escapes the mirror lake and comes here, things will change.
Bram's voice interrupted his conversation. "Kai will take you to Tristan's right now."
Killian didn't stand. "What about my mother and sister? Can I talk to them soon? And no, I don't remember them. But Caitlin O'Shea gave up her freedom to help me. The least I can do is check up on her."
"You can have a video conference later, provided the Northcastle leader approves." Bram waved a hand in dismissal. "Take him away, Kai, and assign a guard."
Kai nodded his head and grunted. "Let's go, O'Shea."
Not wanting to risk the few privileges he'd won, Killian stood and followed Kai out of the cottage in silence.
As they walked past various clan members, they each paused to look at Killian. Some even whispered to their companions so low he couldn't make it out.
For the first time, he realized how lucky he'd been back on Glenlough. True, he may have had some restrictions but at least most people hadn't eyed him with suspicion or skepticism.
His beast chimed in. But didn't you hate how they tried to force memories on you? You are never happy.
I would be happy if I had Brenna by my side and we fled to some rural location where no one would bother us.
And Mum? What about her?
She has a new life to follow. An amnesiac son would only add complications and sorrow to it.
I wish you'd stop thinking we're a bother to everyone. People care about us. Why push them away?
He mentally grunted. And how can a baby dragon be such a philosopher?
I'm not a baby. And I'm clever. His dragon paused before adding, If they allow it, we could try shifting.
I think that requires knowledge and practice.
So you aren't ruling it out? his beast asked eagerly.
I suppose not. But shifting can be dangerous. I don't want to chance it.
And how do you know that? We've never tried.
I have no bloody idea. I just know.
So, you have more knowledge out of nowhere. Maybe the shadow dragon is slowly seeping into our mind.
Kai stopped at the doorstep of a cottage and Killian quickly said, We'll talk more about this later.
With a huff, his beast sat down and remained quiet.
Kai had barely knocked when the door opened to reveal a short, curvy female with a smile. A boy not much older than a year or so sat on her hip. The female looked at Kai and then Killian. "So this is Killian O'Shea."
The female's American accent made him blink. "You're American."
"Well, half American. I'm Melanie Hall-MacLeod." She jostled the boy at her hip and he giggled. "This is my son, Jack. Tristan is around somewhere. Once he catches Annabel, he'll find us." She stepped back and motioned with her head. "Come in."
The fact the female trusted a stranger into her home and around her children either made her stupid or extremely kind.
He had barely stepped inside the cottage before a tall dragonman carrying a little girl about the same age as Jack strode down the hall. He growled, "You weren't supposed to let them in yet, Mel."
Melanie shrugged one shoulder. "Kai's here, and I wasn't about to let them linger on the doorstep. After all, Killian's having a hard enough day as it is."
Tristan glared at Killian. "Harm anyone in this house and you'll pay with blood."
Melanie tsked. "Tristan." She looked at her son's wide eyes. "Daddy isn't going to hurt anyone. Fighting isn't always the answer."
Annabel chanted, "Pay, pay, pay."
Rolling her eyes, Melanie sighed. "I suspect she'll be going around the house soon, saying people will pay with blood."
Before Tristan could reply, Jack pointed at Killian. "Who he?"
Jumping on the distraction, he smiled at the little boy. "My name is Killian."
"Kill!" Jack shouted.
Melanie snorted. "That is an unfortunate nickname. But Killian is quite a mouthful for someone not yet two." She turned. "Come in and make yourself comfortable. I'm sure you have a lot of questions for Tristan."
The human seemed an odd choice of mate for the growly, glaring dragonman. But he wasn't going to insult the female who'd been kind to him, so Killian followed her. Tristan trailed two steps behind him.
Once they all settled down into a chair or sofa in the living room, with the children playing on the floor, Melanie spoke up again. "I've heard your story and want to let you know that you can ask Tristan anything without feeling stupid. Despite his growly exterior, he's good at helping students with their inner dragons. Trust him, and you'll have a well-behaved dragon soon enough."
His beast huffed. I'm already well-behaved.
Don't be offended. She's just trying to help.
Still, there isn't much I need to contain.
What about shifting? I have no idea what to expect.
Then ask him.
Killian met Tristan's gaze. The warning from earlier had vanished and had been replaced with curiosity. Tristan spoke before he could. "I've never seen a grown male with a young inner dragon before. Explain what he knows or doesn't and we can formulate a strategy from there."
It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why Tristan was offering his help so easily, but he resisted. Killian explained about the young dragon, shadow dragon, and how both Killian and his new dragon half both seemed to possess knowledge with no memory of how they had gained it.
When he finished, Tristan grunted. "You're in much better shape than Sid was. I think we should start with cooperation exercises and work our way up to shifting sections of your body, such as a hand or foot, before taking the next step."
Little Annabel stood, yelled, "Pay!" and attempted to body slam her brother.
Melanie and Tristan had just managed to each take a child in hand when Kai's voice filled the room. "That was Bram on my phone. I'm to take you back to the surgery, Killian."
He looked at the head Protector. "What? Why did he change his mind?"
Kai shrugged a shoulder. "Brenna wants to see you."
He stood and faced the head Protector. "She's awake?" Kai nodded, and Killian asked, "But won't me being near her stir the frenzy?"
"Her dragon has been drugged and will remain unconscious for a couple days."
As much as he wanted to learn more about being a dragon-shifter, Brenna was more important. "Then let's go."
Kai focused on Tristan and Melanie. "Someone will bring him back shortly. It'll give you more time to handle those two troublemakers."
Melanie grinned. "You know Annabel wants to start training as a Protector already, right? Maybe you should take her."
"Nice try, Mel. Your lively daughter is your concern." Kai motioned toward the door. "Let's go."
As they walked briskly back toward the surgery, Killian's heart rate ticked up. The upcoming conversation with Brenna wasn't going to be a light one. Somehow or another, he needed to find a way for him to stay with her. Having a child terrified him, but never seeing Brenna ever again made his heart heavy.
His dragon spoke up. I'm sure we can find a way to stay with her.
How? You say you have knowledge, but this seems unlikely.
Let me think on it.
By the time they reached the surgery, his beast still hadn't said anything else.
Before he knew it, Kai opened the door to Brenna's room. Killian rushed inside and Brenna instantly met his eyes.
While she was physically the same with her lovely olive skin and short hair that brought out her cheekbones and full lips, something seemed different about her gaze. He wondered if it had to do with her missing dragon.
His own chimed in. Where is her dragon? She seems different without it.
It will come back.
Are you sure? I don't like it. Maybe I should try to bring it back, like the kiss with Georgiana brought me back.
Kissing her right now is a bad idea. I suspect even drugged, her dragon could sense it and mayb
e wake up.
His beast huffed. I will hold back for now, but I'm going to work on solutions whilst you talk.
Brenna's voice prevented him from replying. "It's okay, Killian. Come sit next to me."
Dr. Sid added, "But no kissing or even hugging. I can't risk the dragon fighting off the drugs early."
Grunting his acknowledgment, Killian walked over and sat on the edge of Brenna's bed. As they stared into one another's eyes, he wanted nothing more than to pull her close, nuzzle her neck, and take a few seconds to memorize her feminine scent. After all, this could be the last time he ever saw her.
No. He refused to accept that outcome until Brenna specifically rejected him.
Killian cleared his throat and decided to get the conversation over with. "Well, it seems we have quite a few decisions to make. Let's start with the most important—what do you want to do about the frenzy?"
Chapter Twelve
Brenna moved to take Killian's hand, but quickly clenched her fingers into a fist. Touching him was a bad idea, no matter how much she yearned to feel his warm skin. Some might put it down to the mate-claim frenzy, but Brenna knew better. Killian's presence had always affected her.
What she needed to do was focus on the bigger picture. However, she wasn't about to decide her life in front of an audience. Never taking her gaze from Killian, she asked, "Can you give us some time alone, Sid?"
As the doctor exited the room, she took the opportunity to memorize Killian's face. For all she knew, it might be her last chance to do so.
His firm jaw covered in dark stubble and straight nose might intimidate some, but all it did was made her ache to kiss along his jawline and take his full lips. However, when she met his green eyes again, the concern there reminded her of what was important. No matter how it might turn out, she wasn't going to put it off any longer. "Last time we made a life-changing decision, I was the one asking you for help. This time, I'm going to ask what you wish to do and I'll try my best to abide by it."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Straight to the point, I see."
"Dancing around it won't make the problem go away, Killian."
Inching his hand closer, he stopped short of touching her finger. Despite the minuscule distance between them, she could feel the heat radiating off his skin.
She glanced down at their hands, wondering if their life would always be like this moment. Close, but never together in the way she wanted.
"Look at me." She met his green-eyed gaze and drew in a breath at the fierceness there. He continued, "Wanting you isn't the problem here. The fact my former self never saw how beautiful and strong you are tells me he was an idiot. I want you with each breath I take and not being able to touch you right now is killing me."
She almost fell for his lovely words, but she leaned back and took a deep breath. "Attraction isn't enough to form a home and raise a child."
"Then talk to me, Brenna. Tell me about yourself. I promise your silliest fear or greatest weakness won't drive me away."
Searching his eyes, she blurted, "Do you even want a child?"
He paused a second before replying, "Something tells me I never thought I'd have one. And now, I'm worried that five years down the line I'll wake up a completely different person, with my memories intact. Or, worse, my condition ends up killing me. Either situation would scar a child for life."
She risked taking his hand and ignored the rightness that came at the contact. "The best I can understand, the longer your memory is gone, the less chance it'll return. But even if it did, you'd have the memories you've made since waking up with amnesia. And I guarantee Dr. Sid and her mate will do everything within their power to keep you alive and with us for a long time to come."
He studied their clasped hands. "While I appreciate you wanting to comfort me, what about you?" He met her gaze again. "What do you want, Brenna? My part in the whole thing is brief. You'll have nine months of suffering, plus the rest of your life to deal with a child if I die or go insane."
Forcing a smile, she squeezed his hand. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."
"But it could. My mother had a difficult time when she was pregnant with me."
He may not realize it, but Killian had remembered something.
Careful to keep the surprise from her voice, Brenna asked slowly, "How so?"
For a second, she thought his temporary memory had left. But he finally spoke again. "She had extreme morning sickness the entire time and spent more days than not in bed. Once I was born, my father said they shouldn't have any more children because he couldn't stand to see her suffer."
Somehow, some way, some of Killian's memories were trickling back.
She wanted to yell for Dr. Sid and see what she had to say on the subject, but decided it was better to keep Killian talking for the moment. "What about when she carried your sister?"
"She was fine. My mother always joked that I was the troublemaker from the start. I think part of the reason I became a Protector was to prove her wrong."
Her heart beating double-time, she decided to ask him a little more. "Was that the only reason you became a Protector?"
He shook his head. "No. I wanted to protect my family after my father died." He frowned. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because you just told me something about your past, something I don't think anyone has mentioned to you."
"That's impossible."
"But it's true."
An undefined emotion flashed in his eyes. "Ask me something else."
"I'm not sure what to ask. How about your earliest memory?"
He answered without missing a beat. "Something about a toy sword and shield. Maybe for my birthday?"
"And what about your adult life? What do you remember?"
"I-I don't know. It seems only specifics work.”
She leaned forward a fraction. "Do you remember when you first met me, before the amnesia?"
He shook his head. "No. I can't remember anything about you before I woke up with the tattoo on my arm gone."
"I'm not sure if I should be excited or worried about some of your memories coming back. It could mean you're recovering, but there's still a lot of unknown variables. What does your dragon say?"
Killian's pupils turned to slits. Each second that passed only made her heart thump harder.
She wasn't sure if she wanted all his memories to return or not. But she wasn't a selfish person and would do whatever she could to help him test the new boundaries of his mind.
However, when Killian gripped his head and grunted, she quickly pushed the call button just in case. "What's happening? Tell me how to help."
As he said nothing and continued to hold his head, fear filled her belly. The last time Killian had fallen unconscious, blood had dripped out of his ear. She had no idea what could happen next.
After coming so far, he might still die.
And that scared her more than anything.
~~~
Inside his mind, a dark, shadowlike swirl churned around Killian's human form. Each pass of the darkness sent another shot of pain through his body.
His dragon yelled, I can't stop it.
Try harder.
A pause, and then, I'm sorry. This is my fault.
It was getting harder to concentrate as the pain coursed through his body, but he gritted out, What do you mean?
I kept pawing at the invisible walls, wondering if I could go back to the lake and allow you some time alone with Brenna.
His dragon was a child and lacked adult reasoning.
Before Killian could learn anything else, the shadow substance gripped around his middle and yanked him toward something.
He blacked out and regained consciousness beside the mirror lake.
With a groan, he sat up slowly and noticed the large crack in the lake's surface. What looked like black steam rose from it, and it slowly moved to gather around Killian's body.
Whether this was another dream or he was trapped in a different p
art of his mind, he had no idea. But something told him that he needed to find the baby dragon if he ever wanted to get back to Brenna.
Clenching his jaw, Killian slowly stood and surveyed the area. While the shadow cloud around his body continued to thicken, he could just make out the hills nearby. At the top of one sat the young blue and white dragon.
Killian needed to reach him.
Pushing against the cloud enclosure, pain instantly radiated up his arm.
As he gritted his teeth, he returned his arm to his side. If the darkness consumed him, he would never make it to that hill. That left only one option—the young dragon had to come to him. The question was how to reach him.
An idea flashed. Since speaking in his mind had always worked, he tried it now. Can you hear me?
The dragon's voice wavered as he answered, Yes.
Then come to me. I need you.
But I'm scared. The shadow dragon is coming out and wants to eat me.
Please, if you want to make Brenna smile again, I need your help. I can't get out of this alone.
The darkness continued to build around him, to the point he could no longer see his surroundings.
When the swirling blackness closed in on him and began to shrink, Killian was forced to squat to avoid coming into contact with it. Any time he chanced touching the black mist, it burned his skin. If he couldn't find a way out, he might die.
And then he'd never have the chance to hold Brenna close and make her laugh.
Because in that moment, it became clear that even if his future was uncertain, he wanted what time he had in the present with his beautiful female. He'd wasted too much time already. Time he could've wooed and gotten to know Brenna instead of being surly and acting nonchalant.
Killian would have to fight for what he wanted, even if it meant he could die in the process.
That meant he needed to escape the darkness. Just as he was about to chance standing up, the little dragon crashed through the swirling, thick mist. Within seconds, the cloud spread out and retreated a short distance away. The baby dragon stood in front of Killian and spread his wings wide. "Don't harm him."
The blackness morphed into the shape of a dragon. A deep voice boomed out, "I can't survive without him. You and I must become one."
Craved by the Dragon Page 14
