Sighing, Annie headed back to camp, the eyes of all the women on her back.
She couldn’t deny that she and Mack had engaged in some scandalous behavior but she hadn’t done what those women thought she had. She was a good woman. Even if she had, he was an unmarried man and she was an unwed woman. It wasn’t as though she was going to try to steal any of their husbands away. What did they hold against her?
Mack might be right about needing some friends in California. But she could not commit to even a fake engagement. She crammed her bonnet on her head and tightly tied it under her chin. If Garrett were still alive, she would knock him out of his boots. He had made her afraid of any commitment, even a fake one.
Except for Mary Beth, the women in the camp continued to avoid her. She said a silent prayer for her friend as she approached their campsite. May Beth had beat her back and was already getting breakfast ready. “Mary Beth, thanks for sticking by me.”
Mary Beth slapped her on the back. “You’re all I got, kid. I need ya.”
“I need you too.” It had been a long time since she had said those words to anyone and it actually felt good. Annie shook her head in shock. Her own feeling surprised her.
“Someday are you gonna tell me why you’re heading west? I already told you I’m going to find my husband, if he’s still alive.”
Annie nodded. Albert had left for California, leaving Mary Beth nothing but a note. If anyone would understand Annie’s story, it was her friend Mary Beth. But Annie just hadn’t been able to tell her yet. It was too hard to admit what a fool she had been. And she was afraid that once she started it would all come out, including the hunt for gold.
Annie took a deep breath before she spoke, “I guess I’ve gone and made it into a big mystery and I will tell you, but not today, if that’s all right. I may have had all the emotion I can handle for one day and it’s only six in the morning.”
Her friend patted her on the back. “I understand. I know those ladies are wrong; although, I wouldn’t care one way or the other. But if there is one woman who wouldn’t have a tryst with a man in the woods, it’s you.”
Annie smiled weakly. No need to tell Mary Beth she was having a harder and harder time resisting Mack.
***
The river crossing took most of the morning. The water was fast and deep and it took a while to get each wagon across.
Annie watched Mack work. Though it was summer, the water was cold and he spent most of the morning in it. He crossed through the water countless times as he shuttled children, animals, and wagons safely to the other side.
Little Ellie was particularly frightened. Annie held her breath as Mack carried the girl across. Her arms were locked around his neck and she could see him whispering in the little girl’s ear. She gave him a small smile and he patted her head.
A lump formed in Annie’s throat. He was so good with that little girl that it made her heart ache, though she didn’t know why.
Soon Annie and Mary Beth were crossing the river. The wagon lurched and swayed as the water pushed it and the wheels bumped over unseen rocks in the bottom.
The dark churning water was frightening, and Annie gripped the side of the seat. She felt herself slide towards the edge of the seat as the wagon gave another lurch.
In an instant, Mack was next to her. “I’ve got you,” he said, his warm baritone washing over her.
“Stay close.” Annie hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
“I will.” He quirked a single eyebrow at her.
If she hadn’t been so frightened, she would have told him what she thought about his eyebrow but she was scared out of her wits and she couldn’t hide it.
The wagon jostled again, and Annie yelped in fear as she nearly bounced off the seat. Mack’s hand shot out and in a second, he caught her mid bounce, pushing her back on the bench. If Annie was honest, she wanted to do what Ellie had done, sit on his lap and wrap her arms around his neck. Her eyes fluttered closed. She was starting to depend on Mack; she could feel it. He was so strong and capable. A part of her wanted to curl up in his muscular arms.
The wagon heaved up the other bank and Annie sighed with relief. She wasn’t sure if she should hug him or yell at him. Mack tipped his hat and headed back in the water to help with the next wagon. Annie watched him go. She climbed off the wagon and started driving her ox forward. After the cold water, they needed to move. Annie needed a distraction anyway. She couldn’t just gawk at Collin Mackinnon all day long.
Some of the women gave her the eye, but Annie tipped her chin high and kept going. The back of her head throbbed. It seemed like this day would never end.
An hour later, the last wagon cleared the river. They tried to camp by water whenever possible and Annie wondered if they would stay here tonight or move on. Her eyes strayed to the patch of woods across the river where Mack had carried her. Visions of his hands on her, his face close, his lips on her lips filled Annie with heat.
“What are you looking at?” Mack’s voice was close to her ear.
Color flushed her face. “Nothing.”
His eyes strayed to the woods and a devilish grin split his face.
Her eyes narrowed and she turned away.
“Annie, we’re heading out. I want to make it to San Francisco by the end of the week.”
She nodded as she spoke, “Thanks.”
“You need to find a way to have more friends by the time we hit the fields. I don’t mean to push but I am worried for your safety.”
She nodded again. She knew he wanted her to make a decision about the pretend engagement. “I’ll make a decision by tomorrow.” Her head throbbed harder. She had very few choices. She could take her chances with just Mary Beth. She could pretend to be Mack’s fiancé. Or she could just stay with Mack and allow him to protect her. Annie’s fists clenched at her sides. Those were some rotten options.
She rubbed her head with her hands. Coming to California was a terrible plan. She was growing less certain that she could find Jasper and, even if she did, he would never give her what belonged to her. She hadn’t wanted to go back to New York, and St. Louis had never felt like a home. Wearily, she climbed in the wagon. Now that she was almost there, she wanted to be anywhere but the Sacramento Valley.
Two of the women glared at Annie with barely veiled hostility. Annie shook her head. No use crying over spilt milk.
She climbed up onto the seat of the wagon. Nothing to do but keep going now, but Annie had to face the fact. One way or the other, her foreseeable future was entwined with Collin Mackinnon’s.
They rode late and finally found some water to camp near. Everyone rushed to make dinner and once done, Annie was looking forward to collapsing for the night. It was nearly dark, but she could hear the whispers coming from nearby.
She rolled out her mat and pretended she didn’t hear, but they were getting closer. It wasn’t just women’s voices. She could hear men’s low tones, filtering through the din. Her insides fluttered. Gripping the pistol at her waist and squaring her shoulders, she turned towards the noise.
Annie swallowed hard. A group of ten or more settlers stood in front of her. Barney Michaels stood at the front of the group. He claimed to be a reverend but Annie didn’t trust him one bit. He looked at her like a piece of meat. There was nothing holy about this man. He had greasy hair and beady eyes with a long scraggly grey beard.
“We want to talk to you, Annie Sullivan. If that is even your name.” His voice boomed over the wagon train.
“Well then, talk.” Her palm gripped the butt of the gun.
“We can’t have an immoral woman in our midst,” he said. The other settlers murmured their approval. “You say you’re a widow but you refuse to tell anyone your past. You look…” He paused to look her up and down.
“I want to know what you’re hiding. Why won’t you tell anyone who you are?” another man grumped from the back of the group.
“I told you who I am. I’m Annie Sullivan.”
&
nbsp; “Why are you travelling to San Francisco alone?” A woman in the front crossed her arms over her chest.
Annie cleared her throat. Mack was right, she needed some of these people to be her friends. “My husband died there. He was searching for gold. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I’m going to find out.”
“How long were you married?” someone asked.
“Just over a year.” Annie searched the group for a friendly face.
“And he left you? Why?”
“We were travelling together but I got sick…” Annie paused, tears welling in her eyes. She would not let them out.
“Are you contagious?”
“No, of course not.” The crowd pressed closer and Annie took a half step back.
“Why would he leave you sick?”
“What did you have?”
“Why…”
“That’s enough.” It wasn’t spoken loudly but Mack spoke with an authority that left little room for argument.
“Wee want answers―“ Reverend Michaels started.
“You will stop talking or you will find your own way across this state. Am I clear?”
Someone else called from the back, “Why are you always defending her?”
“Why are you attacking her? I carried her into the woods to talk. That was it. She didn’t do a thing.”
“She’s hidin’ somethin’. I know it.”
“She’s too pretty to just be alone.”
“She’s after somethin’ in California. Women don’t just travel there for nothin’.” Everyone was talking at once and they seemed to grow more agitated with every accusation.
His hand came to her back. He gave her a questioning look. In response to the unasked question, she gave a single nod. “Annie didn’t want to tell you because it was so soon after the death of her first husband. We were in the woods yesterday so that I could ask Annie to marry me.”
The mood instantly changed. Everyone went dead silent. Annie held her breath for three seconds and then the group erupted in cheers.
The reverend slapped Mack on the back. “Why didn’t you say so? I’ll perform the ceremony right now if you want.”
“Thank you kindly, Reverend, but Annie needs to get a death certificate in San Francisco first. That is why she is travelling there. She needs all the documentation to move on with her life.” He gave them all a meaningful look and several people dropped their heads in shame.
Annie kept her face neutral but she was impressed. Mack had simultaneously shamed the crowd and given a reasonable explanation why they couldn’t marry now or even possibly after weeks in San Francisco. In her single nod, however, she had for real and for sure tied herself to Mack…at least for now.
“We are going to be riding hard the next few days to make it to San Francisco. You all should get some sleep.” He wasn’t asking, he was telling and the crowd quickly dispersed.
Annie shifted on her feet. Being alone with Mack was a terrible idea. As soon as his hands were on her, she didn’t seem able to control herself.
He grabbed her hand and started pulling her away from the wagons. Annie planted her feet and pulled her hand back.
“I need to talk to you,” he growled out. Annie loved the sound of his pleasant baritone but there was something primal about his growl that sent vibrations skittering all through her. Damn him.
“I can’t be alone with you. I can’t control…I mean we always…I don’t want…” Annie huffed a sigh. She sounded weak and silly no matter how she tried to word it.
He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a tug. When her body was almost touching his, he leaned down and whispered in her ear. “I’ll keep my hands to myself. I just want to talk.”
She eyed him warily, but finally gave him a nod. They did need to talk after what had just happened.
Annie rubbed her eyes. How was she tangled up with a man already? She was trying so hard to keep to herself, to take care of her own life instead of depending on another.
“I’ve got to ask you something. Don’t get mad now, but how do you know your husband is dead?” Mack’s voice was soft and there was no emotion in his voice.
Her head snapped up to look at him but his face was shadowed. “He went to California with his friend and partner, Jasper Conway.” Her voice caught on the man’s name and she gritted her teeth together. She took a deep breath to continue without emotion. Her voice dropped to a whisper and she leaned closer. “He sent me the letter, along with the death certificate, to tell me Garrett was dead.”
She heard Mack’s exhale, and even in the dark, she saw his shoulder’s slump. Was he relieved? “My brother went to California too. He hasn’t written in a year. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive.”
Annie’s head snapped up. Mack had lost someone to the gold fields too. “Is that why you keep going back? Are you looking for him?”
“Well, I go to make money. I want to start that shipyard, Annie. But I am also looking for my brother. My parents are gone, and I am the only person in this world who cares enough to find him. If he’s alive to be found.”
“I’m sorry, Mack.” Her hand rested on his chest. She knew she had told him no touching but in that moment she wanted to provide some comfort.
One of his hands rested on her upper arm. “Thank you, Annie. If you have the death certificate then why are you going to California?”
Looking at the ground, Annie took a deep breath. “My father wanted me to marry another man…some tenement owner. He was twenty-five years older than me, and I couldn’t do it. I ran away with Garrett instead. It was not the smartest decision I have ever made but I did it. I can’t undo it now and I can’t go back to New York. My father would just find another husband for me. I couldn’t stay in St. Louis so…”
“Sweetheart, I understand you want some answers but San Francisco is the worst place in the world for a single woman to go. Why travel there for answers unless―“ He stopped short, sucking in his breath.
“I have no intention of mining, if that is what you are thinking.” Her head snapped up and she straightened her shoulders. Their eyes locked.
“Had Garrett found gold?”
Annie’s mouth fell open. How was he piecing it together? She stared at him. What should she do? Should she trust him? Part of her knew that she could trust him with anything.
“He said that he did.” Annie’s voice was quiet.
“Sweetheart, I know you travelled all this way but there are thousands of people in San Francisco right now. The chances of finding Jasper are so slim. If you do, you’ll likely never get the gold from him and even if you can, you’ll never get it out of California.” His hand came up to stroke her cheek.
Annie leaned her head forward until it rested on his chest. His arms wrapped around her. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. But I have to try. I left my entire life behind and I couldn’t just stay in St. Louis. It held no meaning other than the place Garrett left me on his way to California. That couldn’t be the rest of my life. I refuse to crawl back to New York and so my only choice was to finish what I started with Garrett. I had no other path.”
“Why did he leave you in St. Louis?” His hand was stroking her hair in a rhythmic way that was so very comforting.
“I’m not ready.” She softly shook her head. “It’s humiliating enough that he dumped me like a piece of baggage.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Jasper said they had to get to California quick before the gold was all gone and Garrett claimed he wanted to provide for me.”
Mack nodded his head. “That makes sense. Did he leave you with the money that got you here?”
Annie tensed. She swallowed a lump in her throat. “He didn’t leave me with any money. I got a job and I paid my own way. I never want to be in that situation again. He left me with nothing. I nearly starved.”
“Oh Annie,” Mack cursed under his breath. “That fool.”
. “I didn’t want my father’s path and I didn�
�t want Garrett’s. But he taught me how to find my own way in this world.” Her whisper rose in anger. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”
Mack dropped his face onto the top of Annie’s head, and she could feel his smile. “I won’t. You’re stronger than any woman I know. And I know you can take care of yourself. I can take care of myself too, Annie Sullivan, but I’m not sure I want to walk this world alone. They are two different things. And nobody should be alone in the gold fields. Nobody.” He gave her a squeeze. “It’s late. You should get to bed.”
THE GOLDEN RULES OF LOVE
CHAPTER FOUR
Annie stared at the city of San Francisco with her mouth hanging open. St. Louis had been overwhelming in its own way. It had been a virtual mud pit with buildings that had been hastily thrown up. People flooded the streets and disease was rampant.
But San Francisco was a ghost town. Half constructed buildings filled the landscape while empty ships littered the bay. “Where is everyone?” Annie asked.
“They’re at the rivers and in the fields searching for gold.” Mack’s lips pinched at the corners while his brow furrowed. He sat on his horse, next to her and Mary Beth’s wagon. “They are spreading out―the gold miners―but they are pouring into the state.”
“Why are all those ships just sitting in the harbor?”
“The crews abandon them to look for gold. Farmers have left their crops, men have left their families.” His voice had grown rough and Annie looked over at him. Her shoulders slumped. In her heart, Annie thought the hard part was getting here but now she knew the work had just begun.
“You don’t need to build ships. You’ve got a shipyard here. You only need sailors,” Annie said, looking out over the water.
“What did you say?” Mack asked.
“It’s a sea of boats. You only need to take them. But that would be impossible, I guess. You could never find enough men.”
Mary Beth stirred next to her, pointing. “I see people moving on a few of them…look.”
The Golden Rules of Love: Western Romance Page 4
