by Kole, Lana
He’d never really thought about it before, and maybe it was naive of him, but he’d never considered what would happen if Adra found a pack first. It was always understood that they were just placeholders in each other’s lives to stave off going feral.
Gently raking the long strands of Lyric’s hair across his thigh, he smiled.
Well, now he didn’t have to worry about it at all, because they’d found their pack together.
He leaned his head back against the bus seat, flashes of streetlamps strobing across his vision before he let his eyes drift closed.
He didn’t wake again until something scratched against his cheek.
Fluttering his eyes open, he found Lyric standing before him, one finger softly scratching at the bristles of his short beard.
“Bed?” she mouthed.
Half asleep, Emerson nodded and let her pull him to his feet. He barely avoided knocking into the wall and cursed quietly, the bus dark in the middle of the night.
As they went through the bunk room, Emerson stopped beside his bunk and prepared to say goodnight, but Lyric kept walking with her hand wrapped around his.
He blinked, not that it did any good against the shadows in the room, and followed.
A click, a flash of green, and then soft light sliced into the bunk room as Lyric opened the door to her nest.
Emerson followed, mute as she welcomed him into the most private space for an omega.
Lyric pulled back the covers and sheets, shimmied out of her leggings, and crawled onto the mattress before patting the space beside her.
“Let’s sleep.” Her gaze tracked him up and down. “Do not get in here with those sweats on.”
Emerson snickered, shedding the sweatpants and his shirt for good measure, before joining her in nothing but his boxers.
“Does this mean it’s my turn?” he asked, facing her and studying her profile. As if he hadn’t already memorized every single line and shape of her face.
“For what?”
“I played with your hair, now it’s my turn, right? That’s how these things work.”
Lyric chuckled softly and leaned across the bed, brushing her lips over his. “I’ll play with your hair.”
Emerson wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his head in her neck and drawing in a breath full of her sweet honey scent.
He painted a kiss there before they melted into a comfortable, sleep hazed cuddle. Her fingers brushed through his hair and chills spread from his scalp down his spine.
A purr slipped out, and she paused before a soft chuckle left her.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
“Oh, I’m laughing. Big strong alpha brought to a purr by me.”
“Anytime, anywhere,” he promised.
She simply hummed, and Emerson burrowed into her scent, her warmth, and her comfort.
Lyric hummed, nuzzling her head into Emerson’s chest. “You smell like rain. Like you’re washing away my worries.”
That was too soft, but he would take it. He’d be whatever she needed. A rain shower, a thunderstorm, a tornado ripping up the roots of her worries and carrying them far away. Out of sight, out of mind. As long as he was with her.
Good things always came to an end. Emerson knew that, but still, when he awoke the next morning to Lyric hunched over the bed, dread laced through him like a physical blow.
He shifted on the bed, curling around her as she spoke softly into the phone, shoulders shaking. Part of him expected her to push him away, but she didn’t, though she didn’t move at all, and he wasn’t sure if that was any better. He curled his arms around her waist, and she placed a hand on top of his forearm, digging her nails in.
“Are you sure you don’t want me—”
Emerson couldn’t hear the reply through the line, but Lyric’s shoulders stiffened, and he offered her support the only way he knew how—by being close.
“I’m so sorry, Andi. Let me come home—we can cancel the last few—”
Emerson’s heart thundered in his chest. Had something happened to Andi’s mother?
The thought that followed was selfish, and Emerson shook it from his mind before it fully formed. He didn’t want Lyric to go home early.
It would cut their time short.
He laid his forehead against her spine. She was cold to the touch, the chilly air from the outside sneaking its way into her nest.
It felt like he’d won a battle when she leaned back against him.
“Okay… I love you. Don’t hesitate to call me. And go stay with your cousin. Don’t be alone right now.”
That was good advice.
Had Lyric been alone after her mother died? Who had she leaned on for support?
It hurt his heart to think she hadn’t had anyone by her side.
She hung up the phone, dropped the device on the bed beside them, and released a sigh.
Emerson waited. He didn’t want to pressure her, he had to wait for her to confide in him.
“Andi’s mom died,” she admitted.
His chest lurched. “I’m sorry,” he said. Because it was what he was supposed to say. But deep down he had so many questions that he wanted to ask.
Was Lyric okay? Was she close to Andi’s mother?
Andi wouldn’t let her leave the tour, but Lyric wasn’t one to listen to the voice of reason often. Would she leave them anyway?
Despite the way his chest tightened, Emerson didn’t think she would make it off the bus without one of them talking her out of it. Surely between the five of them, they could say something that would change her mind…
Selfish.
What if Andi needed her and was too kind to ask for her best friend to be beside her during this difficult time?
There was only a week left on the road. They’d be circling back to Lyric’s hometown any day now.
Tour would be over.
“Are you okay? Andi?” he asked.
“Andi’s hurting, but that’s to be expected. I told her I could be there in a heartbeat if she wanted me to. But she wants me to finish the tour.”
“What do you want to do?”
Emerson let the question slide past his lips, but he was afraid of the answer.
He laid his head on her shoulder and stroked a rhythm into her forearm where it curled around his own.
She nudged her cheek into his, and he turned his head to press a kiss to her soft skin.
“Part of me wants to tell Andi to shove it up her ass and let me be with her because I know she’s not okay.”
Emerson couldn’t help the curl of his lips, even as the fear tightened its hold around his heart. “And the other part?”
“The other part is logical. It knows she’s staying with her cousin, and it knows there’s not long left on the tour anyway.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Lyric was quiet for a long moment. Could she hear his heart pounding in his chest against her back?
“I think… I’m going to finish out the tour. I want to. Is that selfish?”
No, selfish was the flood of relief that filled him.
“Not at all. This is your job, and we’ll be back home soon.”
“I don’t think it’s set in that she’s really gone yet. Maybe because I haven’t been able to see her in so long. It’s going to hurt when I go back,” she said, her voice fading to a whisper at the end of her admission.
So that’s it.
She could pretend everything was fine until she had to go home and face the absence of that presence in her life.
“No, that’s not selfish at all,” he assured her. That was surviving, stalling the pain.
“I feel bad for not rushing to her side. Am I hiding behind the tour as a reason to avoid home?”
Her emotions were falling off her tongue so freely, it made his chest tight. Emerson tightened his arms around her. He liked that she was sharing them with him.
“I think you know Andi is going to be okay, else you’d already be on your way.”<
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“What if I’m wrong?”
“You gave her the flowers. It’s up to her to water them.”
Lyric’s grip tightened on his arms. “You’re right.”
Emerson almost laughed. He should take his own advice. No matter how much him and the others tried to make Lyric accept them as her pack, at the end of the day, she wouldn’t accept them until she was ready, and there was nothing they could do to rush it or make the choice for her. Despite how much they wanted to.
But that didn’t mean he’d stop trying.
Emerson squeezed her once more before releasing her and then stepped back. “You stay here. I’m gonna go see what the game plan is for today. Want coffee?”
She nodded, her mind and gaze far away even though she was looking right at him. He left the room quietly and passed through the bunk area, noting the absence of his bandmates.
Emerson hadn’t taken a full step into the living area before Adra’s voice prompted, “What’s wrong?”
“Andi’s mom died,” he announced. “And it’s hit Lyric pretty hard.”
Silence settled over the room. Not even Henry had anything to offer. Desi and Nohen shared a worried glance, and Javier’s brow furrowed at the news.
“As far as I can tell, we’re still playing tonight, so I think it’s best if we just…”
Even while Lyric wasn’t there to hear the words, he could just imagine her outrage if Emerson said coddle her. Though that was what he wanted to do.
“I know what we should do,” Javier announced. “I’ll fix some comfort foods while we’re stopped for a moment, and then I’ll be back. In the meantime…”
As Javier laid out the plan, Emerson smiled.
They’d give her what she needed whether she wanted it or not.
Tightening her fingers around the porcelain, Lyric sighed. “Thanks for the coffee,” she said softly.
Emerson hummed in response as the bed dipped beside her.
Silence ruled around them for just a moment, and Lyric sipped from the mug. The hot coffee slid down her throat, warming her from the inside just like the mug warmed her palms. It seemed to be the first thing she’d felt ever since she’d answered Andi’s call.
Besides gratitude. Emerson was surprisingly gentle and understanding for someone usually so gruff.
“Once you finish that, we can join the others,” Emerson said.
Lyric glanced up at him. “Why not now?”
She could just as easily drink coffee and drown in her own thoughts in the living area as she could in her nest.
“Work with me here,” he teased with a smile. “I’m stalling.”
“What are they up to?” she asked, heat infusing her cheeks.
“I dunno, guess we’ll find out when you finish your coffee.”
Lyric narrowed her eyes, curiosity getting the best of her. “Challenge accepted,” she said, and tipped the mug back. The coffee was just this side of too warm, but she ignored it as she drank.
When the mug was empty, she dropped it and let it dangle from her index finger by the handle. Emerson crossed his arms and shook his head. “Fine, if that’s how you wanna be, come on.”
The small victory was enough to bring a smile to her lips, and she stood from the bed. Emerson held out a hand, and she slipped her smaller palm into his with no hesitation.
He pulled open the door and then stepped through, pulling her along with him.
Lyric pulled up short just outside the door and blinked. “What did you guys do?” she asked, though the answer was obvious.
The bunks had been pushed back into their places in the wall, but all along the floor were the mattresses. Blankets and pillows covered most of the area, making the bunk room into one giant comfy space.
Nohen lifted his head from arranging pillows and sat back. “I guess I should leave this to you, but we wanted it to look nice. How do you feel about hanging out here today?”
Lyric’s chest swelled with emotion until it bubbled into her throat, making it tight and itchy. She cleared it once and tried to speak, but her voice was too close to cracking.
“Do you wanna finish arranging it?” Emerson asked close to her ear.
Lyric nodded, her fingers itching to fix and organize and fluff up the blankets the way she wanted them to be.
“Okay. We’ll be back,” Adra agreed.
Emerson let her hand go and led the others from the bunk room into the main living area.
It was mind-boggling that they knew her so well, giving her something to focus on, something to distract herself with while her thoughts tried to run wild.
Lyric dropped down on one of the mattresses and grabbed a blue fuzzy blanket. She ran her fingers over the soft material and lifted it to her nose. The soft heavy scent of Adra reached her, his marshmallow sweetness filling her senses.
It reminded her not only of the sugary treat, but the very first night she’d ever walked on stage, led out by a river of fog, that same scent had overwhelmed her.
Beginnings.
Lyric shook the blanket out with a smile. That was what this day could be. Despite the sadness overwhelming her, the worries for the future, she could burrow into her pack and—
Her pack.
Lyric’s hand went limp, the blanket pooling into her lap. Pack.
They were gathering around her when she needed them most, creating a safe space for her to let go of her emotions and be… raw.
Flicking the blanket out, she laid it over the seam of two mattresses, and then moved on to the next.
She arranged each pillow and blanket to perfection, until the space was filled with the mixed scents of her pack.
The stormy scent of Emerson, ready to wash away her worries. Nohen’s safe scent of comfort, mixing with the harshness of Henry’s scent, ready to fight all her battles—if she’d let him. Even Desi’s muted floral scent was there, and once Lyric was happy with the arrangement, she sat in the center and called out to the bus. “I’m good now.”
Nohen peeked his head in first. “You sure? It looks great. Does it feel ready?”
Lyric eyed every square inch and shifted one pillow to the left a little. “Yeah. It feels… right.”
There was something missing, but she couldn’t place her finger on it, so she didn’t say anything. No reason to complain if she didn’t know what exactly to complain about. It was probably all in her head anyway.
“Is Desi joining too?” Lyric asked.
“If you want me to,” she said softly, walking in behind Nohen.
“Of course I do,” Lyric said, and held out her arms.
Pack is pack.
And Desi was a part of their little misfit family, whether she liked it or not.
But Desi crawled onto the mattresses without hesitation and wrapped her arms around Lyric.
“I’m sorry about your friend’s mom. But we’re here for you, okay? Just tell us what you need. That’s what pac—friends are for.”
That’s what pack is for.
Lyric heard her words even though she’d stopped herself and almost wanted to correct her.
“I know,” she answered instead.
“This is actually pretty comfy,” Henry commented as he lay down. “I had my doubts, but you guys are right, this is nice.”
“I’m glad you agreed,” Javier said as he appeared in the doorway, and his presence was like a puzzle piece sliding into place.
Lyric glanced up at him and released Desi, who crawled to the right and set herself up on a pile of pillows.
“Was this your idea?” she asked.
Javi shrugged and shifted his grip on a tray, too far above Lyric’s head for her to see what its contents were.
“Whenever my sister was upset, nesting was her favorite thing to do. I thought you might appreciate something to distract yourself with.”
In any other circumstances, Lyric might have been embarrassed that her worries could be forgotten with some pretty pillows and soft blankets, but in that moment she
was just thankful to have someone to look out for her.
“Thank you,” she told him sincerely, and made grabby hands at the alpha. “What did you bring me?”
The blinding smile he sent her made her blink. How was one man so goddamned pretty? She wanted to run her fingers though his hair and trace the laugh lines with her fingertips.
“I had been storing these for a rainy day and, well, if the clouds had ever opened up and poured, I’d say today is one of those days. You’ve been eating well recently, but fried foods are welcomed on special occasions.”
The tray was filled with a pile of all the finger foods Lyric could dream of. Fries and tater tots, fruits and tiny sandwiches, crackers, and of course… gummy bears.
“You did all of this?” Lyric asked, heart leaping at the thought. Javi lowered the tray to the ground, glancing up at her from his crouched position.
“Of course, because you needed it, pajarita.” The endearment rolled off his tongue and pierced her right in the chest. “Enjoy.”
Javi stood and turned his back before Lyric understood what he meant.
“Javi,” Lyric called out. “Who said you could leave? Stay and hang out with us.”
Among the fresh smell of the fried goodness on the platter before her, another scent was mixing in the room with those of the rest of her pack.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude…” He turned back around and paused, gaze slowly drifting from one alpha to the next.
It was Adra who spoke up. “You heard the lady. Sit.”
Javi’s lips twitched but he obeyed. “Let me text the driver. We’ll be back on the road shortly.”
“How long until we get to the venue?” Lyric asked.
“Long enough,” Henry answered, tapping the face of his watch. “Get comfy.”
Lyric was already comfy, surrounded by her pack. Nohen was to her left, and he nudged her as she reached out to grab a fry from the platter.
She nudged him back, and he wrapped an arm around her waist as he leaned around her and snatched a tot from the pile.
It wasn’t until the platter was empty and the road once again rumbled beneath the tires on the bus that Lyric realized she no longer felt that something was missing. Because Javi was there too.
Her cheek was pressed against Adra’s chest, the rumble of his heartbeat comforting in her ear. Nohen was curled against her back, and behind him, Emerson was stretched out.
