by Ashley Rose
I don't say his name right away because the fire is building in my stomach and my mind is on nothing but his cock. His fingers wrap in my hair and he pulls my head back forcefully, his lips right next to my ear.
"I said, say my fucking name."
He slams back into me until I'm moaning his name, screaming his name, and he moves deeper and deeper, hitting that spot inside me that could only barely be reached. He plunges as far as he can go, grunting and cursing and gripping my waist brutally. We're sweaty and sticky from the sex and the drugs, our body temperatures high, our pulses racing. I almost feel like I could have a heart attack, and I can sense my heartbeat practically pounding through my chest.
He knows what I want—what I need—to get there. He still somehow manages to fuck the shit out of me while bringing one hand underneath my body, his finger quickly finding my clit and rubbing furiously. I twist my head to look back at him and he stares at me with bloodshot eyes, pupils dilated, jaw locked tight, grinding his teeth.
"Don't you dare cum until I say you can."
His voice is strained and throaty and he's the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen. But it's too late. He sends my body into violent tremors, his name tearing from deep within my throat, the orgasm blazing through me like fire. It hits me like a bus and I cum violently, without warning, arching my back and releasing my head. I feel lightheaded and dizzy, completely swept away in an instant, and my body goes nearly limp.
I feel him start to twitch inside of me and his pace briefly quickens, his movements erratic and unpredictable as he chases his own orgasm. His breath pants against my skin, his hands gripping my ass.
"Leala...tell...me..." he grits out and I know what he wants, I know my words will send him over the edge. and I don't deny him.
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth before moaning against the pillow, "I want you to cum in my pussy, baby."
His pace becomes frantic and with one last thrust, hard enough to rattle my teeth, I feel him spill inside me and my body tingles at the warm sensation. He collapses against my back, his heart pounding against my spine. Expletives erupt from his mouth and his dick twitches violently, his breath ragged and deep as his movements finally stop. He crashes hard, pulling off of me and collapsing onto the mattress.
I try to catch my breath. Am I dead? I can barely breathe. My body still hums from the drugs but I feel completely used up, my brain slowly turning in my head. I feel like I'm tumbling head over feet as the room spins around me.
I open my eyes and see Lex's face right in front of mine, cheek pressed into the pillow, mouth agape, eyes looking at me with concern. The crystal blueness of his gaze makes me feel like I'm being pulled into a lake of frozen emotions. He touches my face slowly, still gasping for air himself, and my skin is prickly underneath his fingers, my senses still heightened from the high I'm riding.
"You alright?" he whispers.
I can tell his buzz has almost worn off. I just swallow hard, and nod. It was almost too much. It's always almost too much. But as much as it kills me, I want more. I want more of him, just like I want more of the drugs. Because once...once just doesn't cut it anymore.
Once is never enough.
3
"Well, well, well. Mary Jane, Snow White, and the seven addicts. How appropriate," I scoff as I shuffle out of the bedroom late that afternoon. Entering the living room, I see the couches filled with the usual suspects, the coffee table littered with blades and straws, rolling papers and plastic baggies.
Lex, Remy, Kyle, Fabian, Bruce, Tyson, and Seth. Every last one of them hopped up and blazed out of their minds. This is when I don't like to stay at the house. I refuse to stay. I snatch my paper bag off of the table and drop the cash in his lap before I head straight for the door.
"You leaving?" It's Lex calling out to me, head straight back and sunken into the couch. His eyes cut over sideways, following me to the door.
"No reason to stay here," I shrug, irritated. Sometimes he just fucking aggravates me. One minute we're in bed together and the next he's totally oblivious to me, like I'm just another junkie coming through his house.
"You can come suck my dick." It's Bruce this time, and all of the guys giggle. I throw a glance at Lex, but he's too busy laughing to even notice. Everyone gets the fucking ganoobies about immature shit like that, and I can't take it.
"Maybe if you could get it up," I say matter-of-factly and a chorus of "OOOHHHHH" fills the room. Of course they're still giggling like twelve-year-old girls.
I just walk out the door. I almost make it down the street when my cell phone rings.
"What?"
"Why'd you leave like that?" His voice is soft, but I can still hear all of the guys chuckling in the background. I just sigh.
"Cause I don't wanna sit around in the middle of a fucking tug-circle with you and six other burnouts. Not really on the agenda for today. And you know I have to go to work soon."
"Well fuck you then," he responds teasingly. "Are you at least going to Remy's tonight?"
"You know I don't like going to Remy's, Lex. It's a fucking filthy whore house."
"What is your problem? You know you'll be good as long as you roll with me. Nobody's gonna fuck with you." He's raising his voice at me now. He always gets mad when I don't wanna go party with him. I know parties are where he builds up clientele, networking and sizing up competitors, setting up deals. "Tell me you're gonna come tonight."
I sigh, pressing my palm to my forehead before letting it fall back at my side, my body slumping in defeat. I can't say no to him sometimes. "I'm gonna come tonight."
"Yeah, you are."
I hear the smile in his voice and I roll my eyes. With Lex, if it's not about drugs, it's about sex. But I know that's just a front. He talks a big game, but he doesn't like sleeping alone, whether he'll admit it or not. I know him better than that. He always wants me to stay.
"I'll see you tonight." And I hang up before he can respond.
I start wiping down the tables about twenty minutes before we're scheduled to close. I'm a little anxious to get out of here, even though I'm not looking forward to Remy's party tonight. I can say I hate my job, but it's not too bad. I could think of worse things to do than waiting tables, and the people who come in are usually friendly, a lot of locals and regulars because it's such a small restaurant. It also pays the few bills that I have, and keeps me from going coke broke.
I work during the weekends while Lex is hustling, mostly to keep my mind occupied so I don't go into fits worrying about him running the streets. And because I need the money, but I already explained that. Friday nights I close the restaurant though, which makes me even more restless to get out of here. Closing nights are always the longest.
The front door opens with the chime of the bells right as I glance at the clock on the wall. Ten minutes. Are these people serious?
"We're closing up..." My sentence fades as I turn over my shoulder and see Tony with some of his boys. Great.
"Sign outside says you don't close for ten minutes, baby. So how bout some service?"
They pull two tables together, shuffling the chairs, making a mess of what I had just straightened up. Fucking assholes.
Tony sits at the head of the table, slumping down in his chair, knees spread wide. "How's Lex? Hangin' in there since almost all of his dope business is gone?" He sneers up at me, and I roll my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek.
"Tony, don't come in here and start talking about personal stuff," I say, lowering my voice. "This is my job."
"Oh, I thought your job was turnin' tricks. You know, to help your man out, gettin' him a little paper on the side." He eyes me up and down, raising a hand to stroke the back of my leg. I cringe as he touches me and I hear a few distant snickers from his boys at the table.
"Lex has plenty of money." I toss the words as I turn to leave, slapping his hand away, but he reaches out to grab the back of my shirt, fisting it in his hand.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby
...where you runnin' off to? Have a seat, stay a while." He pulls up a chair and gestures down to it with his hollow dark eyes. His gaze is empty and frozen and it seems to reach down into my soul, right through my very being, destroying all traces of hope. And I know I don't have a choice. One false move and I'm fucked. Not only for me, but for Lex too.
I sit, turning my body away from him, but he grabs the leg of my chair, pulling it a little closer. He slowly runs a hand up my thigh as he grinds his words out against my ear, his breath hot on my neck.
"See, that's not what I heard. I heard he's allll bent outta shape from me swiping half of his customers. There's even talk about him tryin' to pay me back for it, tryin' to keep me high and dry out of the coke game. But you know what's gonna happen if he tries to fuck with me and my business, right?" He reaches up to hold my chin with his fingers, but I jerk my head away. He snaps, "I'm gonna fucking kill his ass. That's what's gonna happen!" He slaps the table with an open palm and I flinch.
He inches in close to me again, and I sink back away from him, curling farther into myself as he speaks. But he reaches for the seat of my chair, right between my legs, sliding it even closer, his thumb reaching up and brushing me against the crotch of my shorts...slowly, deliberately. I feel disgusting as he touches me, ashamed that he has so much control. But I know deep in my gut that I can't stop him. Tony isn't the kinda guy that anyone should fuck with, especially not me.
"You don't wanna see your little boyfriend dead in the gutter, now do you, baby?"
My stomach turns when he uses the affectionate term, his nose pressed against my cheek, but I know he's saying it merely to harass me.
"You're fucking sick." I grimace as I spit the words in his face.
He rips his hand from between my legs and snatches my face around to his, holding me by the jaw, his fingers pushing my cheeks against my teeth, bruising the flesh.
"What the fuck did you say to me, bitch? Do you wanna find your little cocksucking boyfriend in the ditch with his throat cut? Huh!? Tell me, you fucking slut!"
He grips my face harder, although I don't see how that's humanly possible, and I let out a small whimper as I slowly shake my head, swallowing hard, holding my breath.
He grabs me at my upper arm, smirking when I gasp a little. He's still holding my face as he pulls it close to his, the bill of his hat pressing into my forehead. His breath is hot on my face, the smell of cigarettes and beer filling my nostrils as he whispers tight in his throat.
"Then you just fucking tell him Tony came by with a few words of warning for his pussy ass," he hisses, making sure I hear every word, his dark eyes locked with mine. "Tell that motherfucker to stay out of my coke deals."
4
"So High" by Wiz Khalifa is playing loud in the house when I walk in the door. How fucking appropriate.
I'm so tired from work, but I smile when our eyes meet across Remy's crowded living room, and he throws his head a little in a come here gesture. I stroll up to him slowly and he softens his eyes at me, licking his lips a little.
"I was wondering if you were gonna show."
"I, uh...just had some people come in late at work. Had to stay." I don't want to get into the details of Tony's visit with him, not now.
He smiles down at me and I run my hands inside the front pocket of his hooded pullover to tug him closer, affectionately rubbing my nose to his cheek. But my face instantly goes straight when I feel the syringes against my fingers. I count them in my hands—1, 2, 3, 4—and I look up at him, swallowing hard.
"You're gonna take four spikes tonight?"
"They're for both of us."
"You know I don't like to mainline."
And it's true. I'd only shot up one time ever, and I hated it. It scares me, and I feel like a real junkie when I do it. I guess smoking and taking it in the nose doesn't seem that hardcore to me anymore, but when I need it directly in my veins...I don't know, it's almost like a slap in the face. I never wanted to be clean more than I did the moment I'd first shot up.
"I know, I just didn't wanna fuck with powder tonight." He shrugs like it's no big deal.
"So just 'fuck me' then, huh?" I pull my hands out of his hoodie when I say it.
"Look, if you wanna be straight tonight, fine. I brought the guns, if you don't wanna shoot 'em then whatever. Good luck getting high tonight with all these stingy motherfuckers around though. You're only gonna get a hit if you suck a dick in this place."
And I know he's right. "Fine...fine."
He smirks at me a little. "Don't worry. I'll hold your hand, little girl."
"Fuck you."
He pulls me into the bathroom and closes the door. It's the smallest fucking bathroom I've ever been in. I pull myself up onto the counter next to the sink, hugging one knee to my chest. And I wait. My heart is already racing.
He pulls the spikes out of his hoodie and sets them on the counter before pulling the fabric over his head in one swift motion, revealing a thin white t-shirt underneath. He picks up one syringe and uncaps it, cutting his eyes over to me with a smirk before lowering his voice a bit.
"Wanna get high?"
And I laugh a little, rolling my eyes. I take the syringe with a trembling hand as he passes it to me, hating myself more and more every second. I feel his strong grip smooth up my arm before closing above my elbow like a tourniquet.
"Oww, you're hurting me."
He loosens his grip on my arm when I say it, and I pump my hand slowly, open-close, open-close, waiting for a vein to surface, some part of me hoping that I can't find one.
"There he is..." His voice is soft as he watches the vein appear under my skin and poke up a little. "Give him what he wants..."
I take a deep breath and exhale, my hand shaking as I point the needle towards my arm. I pop the skin, backtracking a little to make sure I'm in before I nod to him, the signal to let go. I take the plunge as his hands fall away from my arm and I close my eyes, removing the needle and leaning back against the mirror.
I take a few deep breaths as my head falls to the side, my eyes still closed. I feel his lips on my neck, his breath hot against my ear.
"That's my girl..."
He shoots up while my high kicks in, not even needing assistance to get a vein, and he comes to stand between my knees when he finishes, smoothing his hands up my thighs. He places his grip to my ribcage and leans me forward. My wrists rest on his shoulders and my cheek falls to the top of his head, the weight of me slumped over him, breathing heavy as I wait for the stimulant to hit my system.
I start to get warm and my skin tingles a bit. A moan bubbles up in my throat as his lips press to my shoulder and his hands rub slow circles on my thighs. Coke always makes us horny. When my pulse is high and my body is humming, I want him to touch me so badly that I'll all but beg him. And when he does, I just want more.
I feel my pulse quicken and my body flush warm. I grab Lex's face and press my mouth against his, our tongues slipping lazily against each other as his large hands grope my breasts through my shirt. When we kiss it's like the world falls away. It's slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His lips are chapped and my skin is tingling but I don't care because all I can focus on is the warmth that's quickly spreading through my body.
All I can focus on is him. On the soft moan he makes, on the intoxicating feeling of diving head first into an erupting volcano and most of all, the way he tastes like cotton candy and midnights under turning galaxies. The kiss is long and his mouth is hot and my heart feel like it's exploding.
His hands slide down, gripping me under my knees and pulling my hips to the edge of the counter. My mouth is still furious on his, my hands running underneath his t-shirt to smooth over his hot skin. One of his hands grips the back of my head while the other flicks open the button of my shorts and slides the zipper down.
God, why does coke make me so fucking horny?
His fingers slip inside my shorts to press against me, probing me softly, but m
y brain is swelling in my skull. The sensation of him touching me is too much, and I'm lost in it...
I can't get out..I can't escape...I'm losing control.
I push back on his shoulders, eyes wide in fear, panting. "Stop...Lex. Stop!"
I'm scratching at my legs. They're on fire and I pull them into my chest and lean back against the mirror. My brain is spinning.
I've been in this bathroom for hours. I can't get out.
I curl tighter into myself and he's reaching for me, but his hands burn, his hands are on fire and he can't touch me.
He can't touch me...
"Stop!" I'm losing control, this is taking over me.
Fire. Hot. Burning.
I'm sweating, and he can't fucking touch me.
I can't get out...I can't get out...I'm going to die in here...
I'm pulling on my clothes and curling tighter into myself, and my thoughts are trapped in a hall of mirrors. I hear Lex's voice somewhere in the distance as I close my eyes, and oh my God, I'm dying.
I'm going to die...
"Hey! Hey, stay with me, Leala. You're having a bad trip, okay? Dammit, look at me!"
I feel his hands grip my upper arms, shaking me suddenly. I squeeze my eyes tight and turn my face from him in panic. But I'm trapped. I'm trapped here forever.
"You're gonna be fine. In just a minute everything will be over. Stay with me."
I'm panting and squirming, trapped. It's so hot.
Trapped. Forever.
Loud pounding on the door echoes in my head and I push my forehead against my knees, curling tight into my body.
"Hold on a fucking minute!" I hear Lex's voice, quick and panicked, and I'm panting in anxiety.
It's so fucking hot in here...I've been in here too long...
He shuffles with the syringes, finally shoving them into his pocket and he snatches his hoodie from the bathroom floor, pulling it over his head desperately, a low and hushed string of curses falling from his lips. "This is just fucking great..." And there's the pounding on the door again, like gun shots. It makes me tremble. "I SAID GIVE ME A FUCKING MINUTE!"
