by Jana DeLeon
Ida Belle held up a glass object. “Drug pipe. No drugs though.”
“No money to buy them,” I said. “I saw a couple of empty shotgun shells in the sink. Do you think Floyd did his own refills?”
“Probably. Most of the hunters around here do. Is that important?”
“Not that I can see. I was just curious.” I looked around the room and shook my head. “I’ve got to tell you, I’m at a loss. I don’t have a single idea of what to do next. Not even a moronic, dangerous, almost-certain-to-fail one.”
Ida Belle frowned. “Me either.”
“Me three,” Gertie said as she walked back into the kitchen.
Ida Belle glanced over at her. “If Gertie’s out of harebrained ideas, then we’re doomed.”
Gertie leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I’m too depressed to argue.”
“Hey,” I said, “it was a long shot to begin with. We took a chance on it but it didn’t pay off. Things could be a lot worse.”
“Sure,” Gertie said. “Like the FBI could come storming through the door, guns blazing, and arrest us all for breaking and entering.”
The words had barely left her mouth when we heard a key turning in the front door lock.
Chapter Eighteen
Okay, so the FBI agents weren’t exactly storming into the house, but it was enough to send us into a panicked flight for the back door. Gertie was closest but her reaction time wasn’t as good as mine and Ida Belle’s.
Ida Belle bolted around the counter with me right on her heels and practically shoved Gertie out the back door. As I reached back to smash the porch light with my hand, I heard someone shout at us to stop. I ran to the edge of the porch and leaped off, landing on Gertie, who’d already miscalculated the plunge.
Ida Belle and I each grabbed an arm and yanked her up from the ground, and we all took off at a dead run for the back fence. The moon had disappeared behind clouds, leaving only the tiniest sliver of light to illuminate our way, but that meant the FBI agents couldn’t see us either. I increased my speed, hoping Ida Belle and Gertie were keeping at least 80 percent of my pace. Our only chance out of this was to lose them in the swamp.
As long as they didn’t start shooting.
The words had no sooner flashed through my mind when the first gunshot sounded behind me. “Warning shot,” I said as we ran. “The next one won’t be.”
I heard the FBI agents yelling behind us and knew they were in pursuit. I bolted across the fallen fence panel and set out into the swamp. The moon had reappeared, and a dim glow reflected off of the bayou, giving me a little light to operate by. Unfortunately, the FBI agents would have the same advantage.
I skirted the bayou and headed straight toward dense foliage, where I hoped I could lose them. One glance behind and I saw that Ida Belle and Gertie were keeping decent pace only twenty yards behind me. The agents hadn’t yet breached the backyard. I focused on a hedge in front of me and pushed harder, my thighs burning with the effort.
When I was five feet away, the growl I’d hoped never to hear again echoed through the swamp, and I tried to put on the brakes. As I slid to a stop, the bobcat launched out of the bushes and ran directly for me. I whirled around and took off in the opposite direction, flying right by a stunned Ida Belle and Gertie. But I had a plan. Sort of. Maybe.
“Keep running,” I told them as I passed.
I heard them continue behind me, and pulled out my flashlight, squinting to see Floyd’s back fence in the moonlight. As soon as the FBI agents came around the back of the fence and into the swamp, I flicked on my flashlight and trained it on the ground in front of the bobcat, swirling it around on the swamp grass and praying that wildcats and domesticated cats shared some of the same affinities.
The bobcat immediately locked in on the beam of light and pounced. I moved the light away and he took off after it at a dead run…straight toward the FBI agents.
I heard one of them scream, a very girlie scream, but I didn’t really have the time to enjoy it.
The bobcat let out a growl that sounded ten times bigger than the animal should be able to manage, and headed directly for the girlie screamer.
“It’s a mountain lion! Run!”
The agents scrambled to turn around, slamming into each other in the process, then ran back into Floyd’s yard. I waited long enough to see the bobcat follow them past the fence line, then took off after Ida Belle and Gertie.
We’d identified an escape trail as our backup plan before we went to Ally’s house, and left Gertie’s car parked at the curb where the trail ended in a vacant lot. We figured if everything went right, we would stroll down the sidewalk to the car and drive home. If things went wrong, we could run for our lives, then drive home. Just once, I wished a backup plan could go unused.
Once I’d traveled about fifty yards down the trail, I slowed enough to listen, but I couldn’t hear anyone or anything traveling behind me. I sped up again, but not at the death pace I’d had before, and a couple minutes later, I burst out of the swamp and into the vacant lot. Ida Belle and Gertie were hunched over beside the car, and as I approached, I could hear Gertie wheezing.
“I…may…die,” Gertie huffed.
“You’re not going to die,” Ida Belle said, less winded than Gertie, but clearly spent. “Let’s get out of here.”
Gertie dug the keys out of her pocket and held them up. “I’m too exhausted and dizzy to drive.”
I grabbed them and jumped into the driver’s seat, then directed the Cadillac straight for my house. We were a sad lot, shuffling up the sidewalk to the front door. I had my arm under Gertie, helping keep her upright as we walked up the porch steps, then I leaned her against the side of the house while I unlocked the door. Once inside, we all collapsed on the living room furniture.
For several minutes, the only sounds in the living room were of the three of us breathing and the occasional mumble of “I’m going to die” from Gertie. When I’d recovered enough to consider moving, I went into the kitchen and fetched bottles of water for everyone. Ida Belle and Gertie gratefully took the water and I plopped back down on the couch and took a sip.
“Brain freeze!” Gertie yelled and clutched her forehead with one hand.
Ida Belle shook her head. “She does it every time.”
Gertie lifted her hand about an inch off the armrest and gave Ida Belle a wobbly middle finger.
Ida Belle, who was in infinitely better shape and recovering much quicker than Gertie, sat up in her chair and looked over at me. “So what happened? I couldn’t really hear much while I was running, but I thought I heard a scream.”
I nodded and told them about my flashlight trick with the bobcat. By the time I was done, Ida Belle was doubled over laughing and Gertie was laughing so hard, she was back to gasping for air.
“I wish I could have seen it,” Ida Belle said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I bet the look on their faces was priceless.”
“I couldn’t really see that well,” I said, “but based on the screaming, it probably would have made great video.”
A knock on my door interrupted our giggling and I froze. “Crap. I bet the FBI called Carter.”
Gertie, who was slumped over the side of her chair, waved a hand in dismissal. “I’m too tired to lie. Let him throw us in jail. Probably be the best sleep I’ve gotten in weeks.”
I couldn’t disagree but somehow, giving up our secrets that easily didn’t feel right to me. I’d promised Carter I’d stay out of his investigation, and the fact that it was no longer his was a point the three of us used to justify our actions, but I had a feeling that Carter wouldn’t see things the same way.
I got up from the couch and went over to open the door. Sure enough, Carter was standing there, but unlike all the other times he’d shown up after one of our master plans had fallen apart, this time he didn’t look perturbed.
“Hi, everyone. Is Ally here?” he asked as he followed me into the living room. Ida Belle said hello and Gertie lifted one hand up
before dropping it back into her lap.
“No,” I said, “she’s on a date with David.”
“Really?” he said. “Good for her.”
“Why?” I asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Not really. There was a bit of an, uh…situation at Floyd’s house tonight, and I thought I’d check in on her. I had no reason to assume anything was wrong. I was just wanting to make myself feel better.”
I plopped back down on the couch. “What kind of situation?”
“The two FBI agents assigned to watch Floyd’s house said three people broke into it. The agents ran right into them when they went in to give everything a check.”
“Did they catch the burglars?”
“No. They got out the back door and ran into the swamp. The agents chased after them but were intercepted.”
“By what?”
“Floyd’s friendly bobcat.” Carter’s mouth twitched and the grin he’d been holding in finally broke through. “They claim a mountain lion tried to eat them and chased them back into Floyd’s house. They managed to get the door closed before the cat got in, then they called the sheriff’s department for backup. They refused to leave Floyd’s house until I arrived and escorted them to their car, where they will probably sit the rest of the night, refusing to leave, even if they have to pee.”
We all laughed, and Carter looked even more pleased.
“They’ll probably ask for transfers,” Ida Belle said. “Then maybe they’ll be out of your hair.”
Carter nodded. “One can only hope. Well, I’ve got some things to do before I can clock out.”
I hopped up from the couch and followed him to the front door. He stepped onto the porch and turned around to look at me. I knew that look.
I sighed. “Is this where you accuse me of breaking into Floyd’s house?”
“Plausible deniability.” He winked at me and left.
I shut the door and walked back into the living room.
Gertie gave a wistful sigh. “He may be the perfect man.”
Ida Belle shook her head. “He’s a man, so definitely not perfect. But I’ll give you dangerously close.”
I smiled. Good enough for me.
###
It was close to midnight when Ally returned home. Ida Belle and Gertie had stuck around, wanting to hear about the date firsthand. I had the fixings for nachos, so I’d made us a batch while Gertie whipped up some brownies. Then we put on an X-Files marathon because Gertie wanted me to see how real FBI agents should behave when faced with something out of the ordinary. The nachos and brownies were excellent, and I have to admit, I enjoyed the X-Files, although I quickly figured out that the real reason Gertie loved the show is because she thought Mulder was “smoking hot.”
We were stuffed, happy, and relaxed by the time Ally let herself in the front door, carrying an armful of tulips. She called out a greeting and took a seat in the living room. Her expression was pleasant enough, but she didn’t look like a woman who’d just been out with the man of her dreams.
“So how did it go?” I asked.
“All right,” she said.
I glanced over at Ida Belle, who raised an eyebrow.
“Only all right?” I asked.
She frowned. “Yes. No. I’m not sure.”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Ida Belle said. “You met at the General Store…”
“He brought me tulips,” Ally said and lifted the flowers.
“And here I thought you’d gotten those for me,” I joked.
“They’re beautiful,” Gertie said.
Ally nodded. “I’ve always loved them.”
“Did he take you to dinner?” I asked.
She smiled. “He took me to Luigi’s in New Orleans, which is my favorite Italian restaurant, and then we had pastries at Bernice’s Bakery, another of my old haunts from when I lived in the city. They have the absolute best pastries.”
Her smile slowly slipped away and she fingered the ribbon tied around the flowers.
“But?” I prompted.
She perked back up a bit. “He’s nice and mannered and so cute. And God knows, there’s a shortage of men who fit that description in the entire state, much less in Sinful.”
“But?”
Her shoulders slumped. “Something doesn’t work. I can’t put my finger on why. On paper, he seems perfect.”
“Hearts don’t run on logic,” Gertie said. “If the spark isn’t there, it just isn’t.”
She sighed. “Maybe that’s it. I don’t know. Sometimes I think it’s all me. That this is the worst time for me to attempt to date. Here I am living with Fortune, worried that someone will try to burn down my house again. Worried about the creeper. Worried about who killed Floyd. Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to go with so much else on my mind.”
“It’s all right, dear,” Ida Belle said. “You can always try again later on when things settle down. You’ll have a better idea then whether or not it was the situation or David.”
She nodded, but didn’t look convinced. “Maybe you’re right. I feel like such a bitch. Here’s this great guy who wants to spend time with me, and I couldn’t even muster up enough excitement about him to even agree to a second date.”
“He asked you for another date?” I asked.
“Yeah. He wanted us to see a movie this weekend, but I told him I’d have to check my schedule first.”
“Ouch,” Gertie said. “The big blow-off.”
“I know,” Ally said, looking miserable. “I felt horrible when I said it, and so cliché. But I didn’t want to come right out and say no, just in case I was feeling that way because of everything going on right now.”
“He’s a grown man,” Ida Belle said. “Don’t you be putting pressure on yourself about this. When you’re ready to take on a relationship, you’ll do it, and not one second before.”
I nodded. “She’s right. The last thing you need is more to deal with. If he asks again, tell him you want to put everything on hold until this mess with the fire is over and done with.”
Ally smiled at us. “I love you guys. So let’s change the subject—did you find anything at my house?”
I glanced over at Ida Belle, who frowned. The three of us had already agreed that Ally needed to know about the window, but none of us looked forward to telling her. “We found something,” I said, and told her about the unlocked window.
Ally’s eyes widened and her mouth flew open. “Oh my God. If it wasn’t you guys telling me, I wouldn’t even believe it. I’ve never even heard of something like this.”
“I’ve never heard of it either,” Ida Belle said. “It’s most disconcerting.”
I nodded. “Can you think of anyone who’s been inside your house lately—someone who would have been left alone long enough to tamper with the window locks?”
“No,” she said. “Aside from Aunt Celia, I don’t think anyone’s been in the house since Mama moved.”
“Repairman? Cable guy?” Ida Belle asked.
She shook her head. “After I got the power of attorney, I had all of Mama’s accounts changed over to my name. I haven’t changed any of the services and haven’t needed any repairs.”
“What about spare keys?” I asked.
“I keep a spare in one of my kitchen drawers.”
“Does anyone else have one?”
“Only Aunt Celia. I changed the locks after Mama moved, because I wasn’t sure who she might have given a key to. Couldn’t someone have broken in the back door while I was gone?”
“Sure,” I said. “Unfortunately, between the damage caused by the fire and the firemen, it would be hard to detect if the back door had been jimmied. Can you remember the last time you opened the windows?”
She scrunched her brow. “It’s been too humid to open them for circulation. The last time must have been when I burned a piecrust. Yes, that’s it. I opened all the kitchen windows to try to get the smoke out. That was about two weeks ago.”
&
nbsp; I nodded. “At least that narrows down the frame of time it could have happened in.”
“Does that really help?” Ally asked.
She looked so upset that it made my heart clench. No one as nice as her should ever have this many bad things happening around them. It wasn’t fair, and it pissed me off. “Don’t worry. We’ll have the construction crew replace the window and change all the locks on the house. I know a couple of things about hardware. I’ll make sure we get you the best sets of locks money can buy.”
“And I’ll talk to Walter about a security system,” Ida Belle said. “He had one installed at the General Store last month. He can give us a contact.”
Ally sniffed and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys looking out for me.”
Suddenly, a thought hit me and I groaned. “We’re not that efficient. I forgot your bag at your house.”
“That’s okay,” Ally said. “I can get it tomorrow. Given the situation with the window, I can totally see how it would have slipped your mind.”
I wanted to tell her about the FBI agents and the bobcat, because it was certain to cheer her up, but I wasn’t certain Ida Belle and Gertie wanted more people knowing about it than already did. I glanced over at Ida Belle, who nodded.
I could barely contain myself. “That wasn’t the reason I forgot it. In fact, I didn’t really forget it at all as much as I couldn’t risk going back to get it.”
Ally stared at me for a moment, then looked over at Ida Belle and Gertie, who were already smiling. “Oh no. What did you do?”
I launched into the story about our futile break-in at Floyd’s house and the chase through the swamp. Ally was already smiling, but when I got to the part about the flashlight and the bobcat, she started giggling so hard, her face turned red and her entire body shook.
“Oh my God,” she said when I finished. “I would have paid a million dollars to see that.”
“And then Carter came by,” I said and filled her in on what happened with the agents and Carter’s parting words to me.
“What a great ending to a weird day,” Ally said. She rose from the chair. “I’m completely wiped out. I have the lunch and afternoon shift at Francine’s tomorrow. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to sleep in.” She grinned. “Which probably means seven a.m.”
