“Oh, but I am. I couldn’t protect the people I cared about the most, and they’re dead because of me.”
“You can say that as much as you want, but you can’t convince me. I’ve seen much of your life, both in this world and in yours. I know how much you cared for your family, I know the pain Micah’s death brought, but that isn’t solely what haunts you, my bonded. I could not see any of the life you led before this one, so I don’t know what the cause is, but it goes beyond the death of your brother, doesn’t it?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
She stopped my busy work and kissed me on the cheek as she hugged me. “Tell me.”
I hung my head and couldn’t look at her. I knew I would see compassion and acceptance in her eyes, and I didn’t deserve either. I deserved to be nothing more than shattered and rotting bones beside my brother. Micah deserved better, and so did Sophia. If I had stayed by Micah’s side, she would have never met me and would still be alive.
We didn’t speak for a long time after that moment. I just listened to the water as it swept past us. Eris stroked my cheek while I fought within myself, trying and failing once again to come to terms with the monsters of my past.
Since I’d met Eris, my past had been shoved into my face, over and over again. I just kept pushing it down and running, running from the pain that had been with me for thirty years. Eris wanted me to forgive myself, deep down I knew I wanted that, but I couldn’t...not yet.
Forgiving myself would mean letting go of the last remnants of Micah and Sophia.
Eris caressed my cheek, sensing the change in me. The warmth of her hand brought a pain that seared into me; I felt the tears brimming in my eyes, but I wiped them away. I’d shed enough recently, and it wasn’t helping anything. For the first time, I welcomed the magic within my heart; it chilled the brimming emotions that threatened to spill over.
I‘d had enough of the water. It didn’t hold the same appeal as when we’d arrived. I waded out of and threw on my pants. Eris had neglected to bring any clothes, though she didn’t seem to mind being naked. It wasn’t like mosquitoes would bite her; they wouldn’t dare drink the blood of their queen. They didn’t bother me much either, but they buzzed next to my ears enough times that I knew they didn’t treat the Hive Knight with nearly as much respect as the queen.
The walk back to camp was a quiet one. Eris knew how I was feeling and knew that she couldn’t force me to shed the shackles of my past, but she held my hand firmly, letting me know she wasn’t going anywhere.
Knowing I would open up when I was ready.
We finally reached the small wooded area where we had stopped for lunch. In our absence, a band of insects had swarmed to our discarded lunches and were delighting in the food. I wanted to burn them alive, but Eris happily watched them while I readied Lacuna.
Eris got dressed in the skirt Makenna had provided for her, but it seemed she was vehemently averse to wearing shoes, so I stowed them in my inventory along with the armor Gil had given her. She donned one of my shirts, an emerald one this time, and one of my last truly clean shirts, along with her traveling skirt and cloak. The brown and greens played nicely off each other.
When she was dressed, she walked over and hugged me. “Just know that I’ll accept whatever’s in your past. And I’ll be here to talk when you’re ready to open up.”
I smiled into her hair. It smelled like my soap: cherries and cream. Even if I can’t fix myself, I can at least be there for her. I could be the immovable rock to which she tethered herself. She needed me in her life just as much as I think I needed her. I wasn’t ready to accept her when we met, couldn’t have known what she would come to mean to me, but I couldn’t run from the truth any longer.
I cared for her, cared for her more than I dared to admit.
Smiling, I kissed her damp hair and held my lips there, enjoying her presence. I’d like to stay here a bit longer, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
“C’mon, love. We’re burning daylight.”
Chapter 17 - Outlier Farmstead
Over the next day, Eris and I rode our way to the edge of the Compass Kingdom. Long before we ever spied the towering white walls that encircled the five kingdoms, we came across the outlier farms.
Too many farmers grew tired of the taxes and regulations of the Merchants Guild and the lax nature of the five kings when it came to hearing their plights. So one by one, the disgruntled citizens left the safety of Alliance and set up shop in the untended fields far enough away from the hands of the guild.
Though the farmsteads were small in stature, their fields stretched for miles as we wound our way over the dirt road towards the East Kingdom. I thought the farmers both brave and stupid for their decisions. Living under the thumb of the guild was far from pleasant, but it offered protection too. Here, away from the walls and patrols of the Alliance, the farmers were subject to bandit raids and thefts.
The Merchants Guild is the lesser of two evils. Better the devils you know. Still, it was none of my business; far be it for me to meddle in the affairs of the guild.
I guided Lacuna over a thin dirt road next to a large field of barley. The ocean of amber twisted in the wind, bringing the wonderful aroma blowing our way. Eris giggled as a few loose stalks drifted past, tickling her exposed skin.
Her laugh invigorated me, and I drew her closer to my chest as we passed the numerous fields and the workers who raised their hands in greeting as we rode by. Eris couldn’t help but wave back, and as long as she kept her head covered, I didn’t care if she socialized to her heart’s content.
I slowed down as we rode next to a farmer coming from the field. The man wore stained trousers and a once-white linen shirt, but it had long since seen its prime, though a wide-brimmed straw hat covered his face in shadow.
“Howdy, there,” he said as he raised his hand in greeting.
He was an elderly man, worn down by the sun. His deeply tanned skin drooped like melted candle wax, but his eyes were bright, filled with warmth and humor.
“Hello,” Eris replied happily.
He smirked at the sight of me with my hands around Eris’s waist. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? It’s good to see young love in these troubling times.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Ah, where are my manners? My name is Oscar,” he said with a smile and a shake of his head. “And don’t mind me, jus’ ignore the ramblings of an old man.”
“Duran.”
“I’m Eris!”
I looked around, really looked instead of just a cursory glance. Plumes of gray smoke rose from the chimneys of dozens of farmsteads, but one trail of smoke was black and low like it had been burning for a while.
“Trouble with bandits?”
“Always, but that’s nothing new. Mos’ of the time, they take our ‘tithes’ and leave, but they’ve grown bolder over the years. The bandit kings are running wild without that empress of theirs to keep ‘em in line.”
“Could always pack up and head back to the East Kingdom,” I said with a shrug.
“Bah,” Oscar said, and spat onto the ground. “Bunch of fuckin’ thieves and snakes, the lot of ‘em.”
Oscar looked up, realized Eris was there and what he’d said and reddened.
“Ah, my apologies, miss,” he said with a sheepish grin. “Pardon this farmer’s uncouth mouth.”
“No worries, Oscar. You should hear this one. Could curdle milk with his filthy mouth alone,” she said, smiling while ribbing me lightly with her elbow.
He laughed. “I was just about to head home for some lunch. It gets lonely out here, would you two care to join me?”
I shook my head. “Thank you for the offer, but we’ve really got places to—“
“I’ve got a fresh batch of beer that just finished brewing. Homemade,” he interrupted, prodding me with a long stalk of wheat he picked off the ground.
“We’d love to join you for lunch,”
I said, relenting.
We followed Oscar up to his home, a single-story oak longhouse with a thick thatch roof, just dampened. It has been a hot summer. Wonder how common brush fires are out here? As soon as we entered the home, Oscar busied himself tidying up the place, opening the bay windows that looked out over the field and trying to make the house presentable for guests.
It wasn’t a sty, far from it, but it was clear Oscar hadn’t been expecting company. “Pardon the mess, friends. I haven’ had guests in quite a while.”
“That’s quite alright, Oscar. Thank you for the hospitality; you have a lovely home,” Eris said.
Oscar motioned for us to sit at the table, pulling our chairs out for us and heading to the kitchen. I sat down and leaned back against the wall, Eris had the view of the lovely fields while I had an eye on the door and the kitchen. She poked me under the table with her finger, smiling at me.
“You can relax, you know,” she said, wiggling her finger to let a single drop of her magic spill out. “There isn’t anyone around us except for Oscar.”
I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
“I know, love.”
Oscar came back less than a minute later with three tall glasses filled to the brim with beer. “I hope you enjoy,” he said as he sat them down in front of us. “I usually make extra and sell what I can’t drink to the neighbors, but I made this cask special, so I hope you like it.”
I took a deep pull, draining half of it in a few gulps. It was a little hoppy, but it went down smooth, and I found myself draining the glass before I knew it. Eris, on the other hand, played it much more cautious this time around, only sipping at the beer, though from the way she licked her lips, I’d say she enjoyed the taste.
Oscar looked at me and laughed. “Finally, another man who can drink his beer,” he said, pushing his untouched beer my way. “I’ll go fetch us another couple mugs.”
He returned shortly with even more beer and kept happily plying us with drink. I slowed my consumption considerably, after the first two, despite being tempted with delicious beer. Oscar seemed genuinely happy to have people enjoy the work he put into his hobby, but as much as I wanted to stay and keep drinking, we needed to reach the East Kingdom before dusk.
After we dined on a light meal of chicken and steamed vegetables, we helped clear the table and said our goodbyes.
“Thank you for the meal, and the booze,” I said.
“Ah…I’m jus’ glad you enjoyed it. Makes meh old heart happy.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just smiled, thanked us for stopping by and wished us a safe journey.
We hopped on Lacuna and set off down through the farms. Eris hadn’t drunk nearly as much as I had, but her face was a little red, and she seemed to be in fine spirits.
“That was lovely,” she said, reaching for my hand.
“Yeah, it was nice to relax for a moment. Beer was damn good, too.”
“It was tasty, reminded me a bit of banlin.”
“Banlin?”
“It was a ceremonial drink for my people, only brewed during the celestial harvest. It was my favorite time of the year, since I could go out and meet other people without my parents watching over me. I loved banlin, though the children were never allowed alcohol. It was still delicious without it.”
“Color me intrigued. What do you say we figure out how to make it ourselves? Do you know what goes in it?”
Eris perked up at that, turning around to smile at me. “I don’t remember, but I bet I can find the answer in the Hive Mind if I look hard enough.”
We passed the last of the farms and were back into open fields. With the last of the farms fading behind us, the dirt road widened, and I spurred Lacuna faster, pushing her to a trot. “I still know very little of your people, so why don’t we try to change that when we get back to Gloom-Harbor?”
“I’d like that.”
We continued onward, talking intermittently. Eris had few truly fond memories of her childhood, so we couldn’t really talk about her past without inadvertently hitting a nerve, and my past was equally as damaged, so we talked about other things, stupid things like the names of trees and plants we passed.
Eris had extensive knowledge of fauna, and she lit up every time I asked her to name off an obscure plant.
I kept my eyes open for any sign of bandit activity since Oscar told us they’d been in the area, but I never saw any sign of them. By the time, the white walls of the Compass Kingdom came into view, I grew lax on my vigilance.
We’re five miles from an Alliance patrol route. We’ll be fine.
We were close to Grange, the hub of all things farming and one of the busiest towns in the area around the Compass Kingdom. More of a city than a town, as several thousand residents lived there permanently, and thousands more worked in the fields that surrounded the area.
Eris had been using her magic off and on all day, working to build up her strength and control. I’d long since gotten used to the strange scent it produced, and what little smoke dribbled out was quickly swept away by the wind, so I forgot she was even using it until she spoke up.
“How much farther till we reach the town?” she asked as we were about to enter a dense thicket of trees.
“Less than half an hour, why?”
She turned back to face me, holding a look of mild curiosity.
“Oh, I was just wondering. Do people normally come this far out of town?”
“It’s possible, I guess. Why do you ask?”
She pointed at the group of trees coming up. “There are people behind the trees, about ten of them, they’re just standing around like they’re waiting for something.”
I processed her words quickly, going through the possible options, and coming up with only one answer. Ambush!
“Shit!”
My instincts screamed at me, and I flung Eris off Lacuna a split second before an arrow pierced my chest, right where Eris’s head had been moments before. I fell from Lacuna and crashed painfully to the dirt.
A familiar voice screamed from the tree line. A voice that made me seethe with rage.
“You fucking moron! You almost hit the merchandise!” Darren raged.
So, the slaver returns for round two, and he brought more of his disgusting friends with him. All ten of the slavers strolled out of the trees, as cocksure as can be, and with good reason. Ten against one wasn’t so much a fight as it would be a slaughter. My slaughter.
It wasn’t time to abandon all hope, though. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve, and as long as I draw breath, they won’t lay one a single filthy finger on my queen!
I looked down at the arrow, amazed I was still alive. The archer is skilled. I shouldn’t have walked away from that. The arrow had gone through my chestplate and the studded leather with ease. What stopped it? I should be dead. It was then that a strange liquid poured from my wound. It wasn’t my blood—it was black. Chitin!
The chitin molded itself over my wound, pushing out the arrowhead and tiny slivers of wood and steel that had shaved off. It hardened over my skin and even filled the hole in my armor. Quick as I could, I leapt to my feet and drew my sword.
Darren gaped as I stood up from the ground, having assumed I was dead. Too bad for him. It seems I’m much more difficult to kill these days. I hated to admit it, but even as a level one hundred Blade Master, I wouldn’t have survived that arrow.
“You fucking missed!” Darren screamed at Slip. My would-be killer. “Quickly, shoot him again!”
Slip nocked another arrow in the blink of an eye and fired. The arrow took me in the chest, almost in the same spot as the first. He’s a damn good shot, but even with his abilities, his arrows can’t pierce chitin. I flicked the shaft of the arrow off my armor and marched onto the field of battle.
“Eris, stay back. Let me handle this!” I yelled.
But she refused to listen to me, running from behind Lacuna to join me.
“No! Never again will I sit back and leave you to fight alone. I won’t do it!”
Damn it, Eris! “I can’t protect you and fight at the same time!”
She shook her head. “No. I can help.”
She’s never been in a fight before. Even with her magic, she’s a liability.
“The queen is to be protected at all costs, knight.”
The voice rose up from my heart to whisper in my ear. It had spoken before, but this was the first time it had addressed me. My inner darkness terrified me, but I didn’t have time to worry about my growing insanity. I had to fight.
I know that, but she won’t listen to me. She's too fucking stubborn to sit this out!
“Allow me to try?” my Darkness asked, waiting for permission.
Have at it.
My heart froze solid, and the ice traversed itself to my head, filling my brain with its frigid touch. I wasn’t in control anymore, and my mouth opened on its own to speak.
“My queen, you shouldn’t be here. This is our fight.”
Eris looked at me, shocked. The voice that rose from my lips was mine, but it was twisted, sibilant—the voice of the Hive Knight.
She quickly shook away her surprise. “I am queen, my knight. Sam is my bonded, and I will not let him go into battle alone. You will obey me.”
“Foolish queen!” It hissed to me, but we couldn’t go against her orders. My Darkness released its hold on me and retreated inside my heart, the ice faded away, and a burning heat flowed through my veins—the power of the Hive.
“All right, but do as I say, promise me that!”
She nodded, and I tossed her the hunting knife on my belt. “Leave the main force to me and back me up with your magic. Use the knife if anyone gets close.”
“Got it!”
Because of our argument, we’d allowed the enemy to close the distance between us, and I had to put Eris out of mind and focus on the battle, or I would find my corpse cooling on the dirt before I knew it.
Darren and his group stayed behind while his peons flocked to us. Three of them rushed me, while the others held back and prevented us from escaping. They each wore light armor, black leather with minimal protection. Each also bore the same crest as their leaders.
Hive Knight: A Dark Fantasy LitRPG (Trinity of the Hive Book 1) Page 25
