“Did you know this was going to happen?” Alex asked him.
“No.” Jacob blinked.
From outside the window came the hoot of an owl, the only noise of the night that dared to interrupt.
“You blame Orpheus for this?” Alex asked Jacob.
Jacob formed his hands into a temple. “Jadeon would never have been there had it not been for Orpheus trying to turn Ingrid. And kill Catherine.”
The truth of his words stung deep. “But . . .” I shook my head, feeling the wrenching guilt building in my gut.
Jacob lowered his chin. “William, my concern is that you’ll start finding excuses not to revert.”
“You think I’d sabotage my way back?” I said.
“What will undoubtedly occur is a desire to stay like this,” Jacob said.
“Why would I want that?” My jaw tightened.
Jacob gave a careful pause, and then said, “Over the next few days you’ll continue to evolve.”
“Into what?” Alex asked the question that was on my mind.
Jacob appeared thoughtful. “You’ll settle into what you are.”
I clenched my fists but quickly relaxed them again. “Let’s make this happen.” I rose to my feet.
“We get the scrolls,” Alex said, “and interpret them.”
“Only then,” Jacob said, “can we attempt to restore Jadeon and Orpheus to their individual components.”
I pressed my hand against my chest, expressing my conviction. “What do I need to do?”
Jacob picked up Ingrid’s notebook. “Nothing.”
“You expect me to just pace these corridors waiting for you to find . . . Lucas?”
“Promise me one thing.” Jacob’s eyes widened. “You won’t leave these walls.”
My gaze slid beyond the window pane, settling on the darkening horizon; grey clouds were gliding inland. When I looked back, Jacob was zeroing in on me again.
“Sunaria and I were lovers,” I said. “That’s how I know her?”
Alex grimaced. “Orpheus’s lover.”
“How did she know it was me?”
Alex looked away. “She was there when you transformed.”
Fragile thoughts drifted back to the dungeons and how I’d mishandled her, shoving Sunaria into the tunnel and sealing the stone door between us.
“She’s been asleep for over two hundred years. She can’t be allowed to wander around out there,” I said, weighed down with guilt from abandoning her.
“Sunaria’s capable of taking care of herself.” Jacob suppressed a cough. “She’s over one thousand years old after all.”
“I didn’t know that,” Alex’s voice cracked nervously.
“Catherine was also there when it happened,” I said.
“She warned me,” Alex said. “I didn’t listen to her. I believed the ashes were . . .”
“Jadeon’s,” I answered for him. “Alex, it was you who resurrected me?”
“Sunaria persuaded me to pour my blood over the ashes,” he answered. “And then she did the same.”
“He didn’t know,” Jacob said in Alex’s defense.
“Sunaria thought the ashes belonged to Orpheus?” I made it a question, though knew the answer. “I thought she was dead.”
“Just as you were resurrected from ash,” Jacob said, “so was she.”
I focused on Jacob. “You knew where she was all this time?”
“Yes,” he replied calmly.
I loosened my collar, needing more air. “Alex, open the window.” Memories were flooding in and making my head foggy.
Alex twisted the lock and gave the window a shove to open it. The summer breeze was just as stifling.
“I was revived here in the dungeons,” I said, remembering the faces I’d looked upon. “And then I ran.”
“You were in shock.” Jacob shifted his position as though thinking twice about coming any closer. “You still are.”
I ignored Jacob’s remark. “Catherine’s here?” I felt relief to sense this.
Jacob broke my gaze.
“I’ve never heard of anything like this, ever,” I muttered.
“Jadeon,” Alex lowered his voice. “You gave your life to save Ingrid.”
“Where’s she now?” I ignored the name he’d just called me, remembering the intimacy I shared with Ingrid, the love affair that burned too brightly and should never have happened.
“I took her to the hospital,” Alex said. “She wouldn’t recognize you now anyway.”
“Do I look like a monster?” I feared the answer.
“No.” Alex came closer. “When you rose you shifted for the first hour between Orpheus and Jadeon.”
The painful transition still lingered in the very marrow of my bones. “And now?” I barely said.
“You have Jadeon’s eyes,” Alex paused. “Orpheus’s dark locks, his jaw . . .”
“More like Orpheus, then?” I glanced over at Jacob for confirmation.
Jacob gave a slow, deliberate nod.
“No wonder you’re so wary of me.” I sighed. “Why call me William?”
“William Artimas was Jadeon’s father,” Alex said. “My father.”
“You chose it to get back at me?” I asked. “Because Orpheus killed Lord William Artimas?”
“You pushed me for a name,” Alex said. “So I gave you one.”
“I’m joined with the man who killed my father.” My feet felt unsteady. “God help me. I’m joined with . . .”
“Your nemesis,” Alex whispered it.
Chapter 3
“I’M FINE, REALLY,” Catherine said, letting Jacob know she was ready to be left alone with me.
“Catherine, I’ll wait for you outside.” Jacob glared at me. “I’ll be listening to every word.”
I sat down in the pew opposite Catherine. Head down, she rested her hands in her lap as though finding the courage to speak. Her blonde curls cascaded over her shoulders and down her back and I imagined how soft they’d feel should I dare to reach out and run my fingers through them.
This old dusty chapel hadn’t seen a religious service conducted in centuries, and despite the layers of time that gave away its neglect, it still maintained its dutiful Protestant presence. Catherine seemed to be trying to gain strength from the tipped-over crucifix resting on the once-used altar. Or perhaps I was just making her nervous.
“Jadeon’s father died in this castle.” She broke the silence at last. “At your hands, Orpheus.”
I broke eye contact with her, wishing I’d insisted that Jacob stay.
“And now you’ve outdone yourself.” Hate welled with her tears.
“I’m Jadeon too.”
She pressed her hand to her lips as though the true horror of what I was finally hit her. “Jacob promised he’d do whatever it took to protect Jadeon.” She flinched, as though the loss was too much for her. “Was your hate for Jadeon your reason for doing this?”
“What?” I sat back, surprised. “No. You think I planned this?”
“You tortured Jadeon for centuries and this is your ultimate revenge.”
“I’m finding a way back from this.”
“So now you regret it?”
“I chased you relentlessly trying to save you from . . .” It was coming out wrong. “It’s complicated.”
“I did everything I could to save Jadeon from you, but in the end those two hundred years of staying with you, loving you, being everything you demanded of me, meant nothing.”
“Loved?” I asked.
“I misspoke.”
“You loved God.”
“And you wanted to kill me for that.”
“You never once told me you loved me.”
“And that surprises you?” she asked.
“Catherine, I’m not ready for this.”
“You always hated the truth.”
“We were childhood sweethearts, you and I?”
She searched my face, as though hoping to catch a glimpse of her los
t love, though seemingly not seeing Jadeon she said, “Even now you manipulate me. Pretending that Jadeon has a say in any of this.”
I stood up, wanting to get closer to her but resisting the desire. “I’ve always loved you.”
“You want me to believe that Jadeon is communicating with me? That’s your way of further torturing me.”
I raised my hand for her to be silent. “I’m going to find a way to reverse this.”
“I’m not that naive girl you kidnapped two hundred years ago. I’ve been around you long enough to know all your tricks.”
“That’s not what this is.”
“So what have you discovered about yourself?” she asked. “Any new abilities which you failed to possess before? You were a Status Regal, a royal blood vampire, and yet it wasn’t enough.”
“This was a mistake. You must believe me.”
“I don’t. We’re going to reverse this. Jacob and I are going to London to find Lucas Azir.” She waved a pointed fingertip. “You’ll not leave here until we have undone this.”
“Have you considered you may be addressing Jadeon?”
She hesitated, as though hoping she was. “He would never be a willing participant in any of this.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
She paused and her pale blue eyes regarded me. “If you make one wrong move I’ll personally put you back in that coffin.”
“We grew up together. We used to swim behind the castle walls.”
“You stole that memory from Jadeon.”
“I am Jadeon!”
She weakened and looked away. “You do what we say, when we say.”
“Look at me, Catherine,” I snapped. “It’s me, Jadeon!”
Slowly, she rose. “No apology?”
“To who? I did this to myself.”
“No regret?” She motioned to me.
“This was a mistake. I should never have come in here.” I leaned against the back of the pew.
Her lip trembled. “I’ll never forgive you.”
I held back tears. “I need you.”
“Orpheus, you have no soul.”
“But Jadeon does?” I shook my head.
“You’re trying to draw me in.” She strolled over toward the altar and gripped the crucifix’s base with both hands and righted it. “It won’t work.” She faced me again.
“This thing is reversible,” I said, hoping it really was.
“And what then?”
“You and I will get a second chance—”
“Never,” she sounded distant.
I clutched the back of the pew as though it might stop me from falling.
“Jadeon would never try to entice me away from my faith,” she said.
A storm was raging outside, and now inside too, threatening to burst its banks and drown me in a tsunami of sorrow; leaving only regret for what could have been, should have been.
Catherine knew her words were destroying me and she folded her arms to emphasize her point and stand her ground.
“I’m sorry for everything I ever did to you,” I said softly, hoping she would hear the truth.
“Go to hell!” She stormed passed me and out.
The shock of her words threw me and my gaze stayed on where she’d been standing, as though I might turn back time and have her say the words I’d wanted—no—needed to hear.
And even if Jacob did find these scrolls and Lucas Azir could interpret them, there was still no promise of a way back for me.
I collapsed onto the pew and lay down along it, pulling my legs into my chest, hoping that daylight might do me a favor and seep in through the stained glass windows and punish me with its inevitability.
And then kill me.
I remained in the chapel like that for hours, waiting for dawn.
Even that was apparently ignoring me. When my spiraling thoughts became too much, pestering my very sanity, I rose up and headed out.
Sleep was a reasonable alternative to consciousness right now.
* * * *
The following evening I found a handwritten note from Alex stuck to the bathroom mirror, letting me know he’d stashed several 500ml units of donated human blood in the fridge.
Making my way toward the kitchen, I resented myself for the way I’d dealt with Catherine last night. I wondered if she’d ever look at me without disdain again.
I had to find a way back from this wreckage that was my life, pull myself back from the brink of hell.
Everything was wrong.
And hunger was gnawing away, making it hard to hold a thought.
Just as Alex had promised, inside the fridge were several thick plastic bags full of packed red blood cells. The labels had been ripped off. Alex’s way, I assumed, to help me cope with this cold clinical, nightmare.
My fangs pierced the icy bland plastic and I sucked. The consistency was glutinous and the sharp iron taste was nauseating. Leaning over the kitchen sink, I gagged.
I’d hit an all time low.
Yes, I had to eat, but this was cruel and unusual punishment. I longed to feed properly, and yet the guilt from considering burying my fangs into some unsuspecting mortal was unsettling.
Was I softening?
Then I noticed the note from Alex stuck on the front of the microwave.
“William! Empty blood into soup bowl,” he’d scribbled. “Heat for sixty seconds.”
I cursed myself for missing it.
And gagged again.
Unable to look at the half empty bloody units anymore, I threw them into the bin.
Making my way outside, heading down to the water’s edge, I wondered if peace might ever find me again. Although such solitary confinement was understood, the loneliness wasn’t.
The rocks were slippery and I chose my footing carefully, edging toward the ocean.
The bitterest taste of salt lingered and I swallowed several times, trying to get rid of it. Small crabs scuttled sideways near my feet and I carefully stepped over them. Turning slightly, I glanced up at the castle to check if anyone was watching, hating this feeling of my every move being tracked.
Reassured I was alone, I knelt low and swept my hand through the water, trying to suppress this suffocating ache. I let go, grateful that my sobs were drowned out by the crashing waves striking the rocks in their perfect relentless rhythm.
I’d swum in these waters as a boy, a reckless game that had almost got Alex and Catherine drowned one late night. But that was two hundred years ago.
Jadeon’s memories.
And what were Orpheus’s? A daring vampiric excursion to this island, seducing Alex and using him to get an invitation to his father’s ball, Lord Artimas the Stone Master. Trapping each and every last Stone Lord in the dungeons and then killing them.
The sweetest revenge for Lord Artimas murdering Sunaria, and yet only now did I know she was still alive. Two centuries of tormenting Jadeon and it had all been for nothing, a selfish endeavor based on lies.
Standing now, taking in the horizon, there was a welcome calmness, a resolution born out of understanding my once misled motives, as though forgiveness may just settle into my soul if I just let it.
I wondered how long it would take me to swim to the other side. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Alex watching me, and gestured to let him know I’d seen him.
“Jacob’s back,” Alex called out, frowning his disapproval.
A four-foot wave reached over the rocks and splashed onto my shoes, soaking them.
Alex was gone.
Desperate to further this inner numbness, I squelched back the way I’d come and strolled toward the winding castle pathway.
Just as Jacob had predicted, the urgency within me to change back was lessoning and this conflicting internal dialogue was starting to settle.
Just inside the front door I kicked off my shoes and ripped off my socks, throwing them down and trudging barefoot into the foyer, full of disdain for the place that confined me with its infinite number o
f long-neglected rooms and the timeless secrets they refused to share.
And its bloody cold floors.
Alex was standing halfway down the east corridor. “They’re waiting for you.”
I took a moment to consider the chandelier above me and then followed Alex down the corridor and onward through a familiar doorway. We descended into the basement.
“Tell me it’s good news,” I said when I saw Jacob sitting on the large trunk.
Alex gestured for me to come closer.
“What’s going on?” I sensed the tension and didn’t like the way the others were swapping nervous glances.
Jacob glanced at my feet. “We found Lucas.”
“That’s good news, right?” I said, trying to inject enthusiasm into what seemed like a dour gathering.
“He’s working on getting hold of those scrolls for us,” Jacob said.
“Well that’s progress.” I lifted my right foot and examined my dirty sole.
“Where are your shoes?” Catherine asked.
“We have a situation in London.” Jacob rose and started pacing. “It’s slowing our progress.”
Catherine leaned against the wall. “Something’s poisoning vampires.”
“We’re not sure what it is,” Jacob said. “Nightwalkers are becoming confused and—”
“Committing suicide,” Catherine said, visibly shaken.
“They’re becoming disorientated.” Jacob shook his head. “Strolling out during the day.”
A shiver ran up my spine. “How?”
“Drinking poisoned blood,” Jacob said. “We think.”
I studied their faces, trying to detect if there was something they weren’t telling me.
Jacob paused, his face full of worry.
Catherine flashed her anger. “Bravo. Perfect timing, Orpheus.”
I tried to keep the annoyance out of my expression and took in their faces one by one.
Catherine came closer. “Do you know anything about this?”
“No,” I said flatly.
Alex watched me carefully. “Hundreds have been affected.”
“And Lucas? He’s okay?” I braced myself for the answer.
“He’s fine,” Jacob said. “But if he stays in London he’ll be at risk.”
Catherine seemed to struggle with her anger. “When were you going to tell us about Lucas Azir? You didn’t think we’d find out about you both?”
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