by Julia Latham
“And therein lies the problem,” he said, beginning to pace again. “When I received Lady Elizabeth’s letter about the death of her parents, I was in Normandy. I had not even known of my brothers’ deaths until she told me. To go from being the youngest son on his own, to the baron with a bride waiting for me—I was stunned.”
“I am sorry you did not know about your brother’s accident,” she said stiffly, trying to make excuses for his behavior in her mind—if he even was John Russell.
“There is a lot I didn’t know about my brother,” he said bitterly.
She felt defensive on behalf of the man she’d loved her whole life. “I do not understand your tone of voice.”
“He is the reason I had to come to Lady Elizabeth this way. I returned to Rame Castle almost a fortnight ago, only to discover that it had been grievously neglected. Most of the tenants were gone, their fields unplanted. The sheep and cattle had been sold, and the soldiers—they were off to seek a master who would pay them. My contingent consists of myself and three men-at-arms. Not exactly an army capable of winning and defending Castle Alderley,” he added with sarcasm.
Such cruel words about William could not possibly be true. “You make no sense. I had met Lord Russell, who was a charming, sincere man. He would not deliberately abuse his own people.”
“I tried to think that,” he said quietly.
When he sat down on the bed beside her, she jumped to her feet to put distance between them, holding her arms over her ruined gown.
“But the proof is Rame Castle,” he continued. “More than one servant swore to me that William preferred London to his own estate. And living at court requires money to keep up the correct appearances—according to my brother, anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just assumed that soon he’d be earl, with all the money he needed to return our home to its former glory. But our people…” He ran a hand down his face, his dark whiskers shadowing his cheeks.
“So you have no money,” she said slowly, avoiding the way he slurred his own brother, “no army, no way to prove that you are Lady Elizabeth’s betrothed.”
“Oh, I have proof, for all the good it will do me. I have the ring.”
But he didn’t produce it, and she realized just in time that she was only a maid, and could not ask such things of him. She remembered the ring well enough from her childhood. It had been the insignia used to seal her betrothal contract. She had been so young, so innocent; she had thought it meant freedom for her. At the time, the ring had freed her from men trying to take advantage of her. It had promised her a future with a handsome, smiling man who would someday wear it—
Now the ring tied her to another man—a liar, a user of women. A man who would betray his own brother’s memory.
She stared at him and realized to her dismay that the blue of his eyes had always attracted her—because it had been the same color as William’s. No wonder he had seemed familiar when first she’d seen him lying wounded in the great hall. He did not have William’s handsome looks, but his hair was the same shade as their other brother, Robert.
Could he really be John Russell?
She had thought this day would be one of rejoicing. Instead all she wanted to do was cry as her last dreams of a romantic, happy marriage died. This man did not hold women with the reverence they deserved.
“Do you believe me?” he asked.
“It is not for me to believe or disbelieve,” she said without expression. “It is my lady you must convince.”
“Nay, it is you, too, I must convince, Anne.”
His voice rang with the tones of truth and sincerity, but she could believe none of it.
“I have treated you poorly, and only because I had to. I could see no other way to reach Lady Elizabeth than to send a message through you. I didn’t know you; I couldn’t trust that you would believe me.”
“So you felt the need to…play with my emotions?”
He stiffened. “I did not mean it to go so far. Milburn kept us together, and I thought I could control everything. I am used to that.”
He was used to being in control, she thought bitterly. Hadn’t she wanted a husband she could control, so that she could live as she wished? Instead here was John Russell, manipulating her into doing things she had never thought she would be capable of doing. What had happened to the malleable boy she remembered?
“You must forgive my behavior,” he continued.
“Must I forgive that kiss?” she whispered. “Must I forgive the actions of a man who would deliberately hurt me?”
“Anne, I cannot explain—I never meant—” He sighed. “I have never met anyone like you, not in all of my years of wandering. The women I knew only wanted pleasure, and the coin with which I paid for it. I am not used to women raised as you and Lady Elizabeth were, free and intelligent, who act because it is right, not because they will be rewarded. But you have suffered because of my actions, so please tell your mistress whatever you need to. I will not ask for your silence for my indiscretion.” He gave her a measured stare. “But I am here to help; tell her that. I vow that I will make things right—for the both of you.”
Her eyes were burning now—she could listen no more. “I—I will tell my lady your words and give you her response.”
She tried to move past him, and he touched her arm.
“Anne—”
“Do not ever touch me again!” she whispered, mortified to feel tears escape her eyes. She ran from his chamber and shut the door behind her.
John bent over and rested his hands on his knees. That had gone just as he’d expected—badly. When the door opened, he looked up with relief, but it was only Philip.
“I saw her running down the corridor,” Philip said. “She turned her face away when she saw who I was. I think she was crying.”
John nodded. He ached inside for the misery he’d caused, for how he’d made Anne feel. “I told her the truth.”
Philip sat down on his own pallet across from him. “What made you decide to do that?”
“I must obviously trust her, because I kissed her this afternoon.”
His eyes widened. “You kissed her? How did flirtation lead to that?”
John shrugged. “It wasn’t supposed to. Yet…I couldn’t help myself.”
“And now she’s running to tell Lady Elizabeth.”
“I apologized, told her things had gone too far. I know not what she’s going to tell her mistress. It is only fair that she make that decision.”
“Now Lady Elizabeth has much to hold against you, including the lie told about the estate supporting you in Europe.”
“I didn’t tell Anne that. She didn’t want to believe that my brother could have neglected the estate—how could I make him look worse?”
Philip groaned.
“We know that lie is untrue,” John continued. “It might not even have spread beyond Rame Castle, since I explained the truth to my people.”
“If they believe you over your brother’s steward.”
“How could they not? He took all their goods and rent, where I gave all the money I had to begin repairs.”
“That could look like guilt.”
“I intend to explain it all to Lady Elizabeth when we meet. I want nothing to stand between us.”
“Anne already does,” Philip said, shaking his head.
John sat down on the bed and faced his friend. “Let us put this aside for now. Tell me what you heard from Ogden and Parker.”
“There is no good news. They’ve spent the past night and day searching for Alderley’s soldiers, and have not found them yet. They’re going to start asking questions in the villages for at least a direction to expand their search, but you know how long that can take when one doesn’t want to arouse suspicion.”
John cursed, but it didn’t help his feeling of frustration. “There is little we can do until we have an army behind us.”
“And that is assuming, once we find them, that they trust us.”
“Believe me, I will make them see the wisdom,” John said grimly. “Did you make arrangements to meet with Ogden and Parker again?”
“Nay, because they’ll be roaming farther afield. They promised to come to us when they have the news you need.”
John nodded silently, already finding his thoughts on Anne again. “When I saw that soldier attack her,” he murmured, “it was like a part of me was glad that I could fight him. Have you found yourself…itching to train, to pick up a sword?”
“What do you think I’ve been doing to help you keep an eye on the soldiers?”
“Then you’ve been lucky. I’ve been feeling restless, as if my skills are fading away with every moment I remain on a bench because of this supposed broken leg.” He gave Philip a worried look. “What if it’s the adventure I need? I never thought I’d marry. Perhaps I won’t be good at being a husband, leading a life of leadership while others do the physical work that I’ve always enjoyed.”
“I’ve heard of many a man who worried about such things. They made it work.”
“How?”
“Maybe getting into their wives’ beds was the true challenge?”
Philip chuckled to himself, but John couldn’t see the humor. What if when he saw Lady Elizabeth, he wasn’t as attracted to her as he was to her maid?
Chapter 11
Elizabeth spent the night wrapped in a blanket in front of the kitchen hearth, wearing a gown from Adalia, feeling like she would never be warm again. She’d cried so much that her eyes were raw and fuzzy, and her brain seemed to be merely floating. She’d made it through mass, keeping her head down in prayer, having no idea if Sir John—Lord Russell was even in the chapel. She hadn’t even asked the true name of his friend, who’d seen her run by crying last night.
But now she could finally go to see Anne. She held a tray in her shaking hands, realizing she hadn’t even broken her own fast. Food didn’t seem to matter this morn. The soldiers stepped aside for her, and she sighed in relief and practically ran up the tower stairs.
Anne must have heard her, because she flung open the door to the solar. Elizabeth slid the tray onto the table, then turned and threw her arms around her friend. She wouldn’t have thought she had any more tears, but she found herself crying again.
“’Tis all right,” Anne said, patting her back. “The soldiers told me you were forbidden to bring me food for a day. Milburn discovered the letter?”
Elizabeth could only nod and hold her tighter. “You—you were not too hungry?”
“Nay, although another basket did not come, the first had enough to keep me fed for the day. It was you I was concerned about. I am an heiress,” she said sarcastically, “so he could hardly punish me too severely. But you—”
Elizabeth backed away, accepting a handkerchief to mop her face and blow her nose. “I was not beaten, or even denied food.” She related how Milburn had caught her.
“What did he do to you? Surely it had to be something. Come sit down and tell me. You look pale as a ghost. Have you eaten yet this morn?”
Elizabeth gave a shaky laugh and shook her head. “Food is unappetizing today,” she said, sitting down on a cushioned chair before the bare hearth.
Anne sat in the other one and took her hand. “So tell me.”
“He obviously wants to keep me away from you, so he assigned me to act as Sir John’s clerk.”
“Ah, Sir John, the one who looks at you with interest,” Anne said, wiggling her eyebrows.
Elizabeth sighed, her chest aching from crying. “I discovered yesterday that he’s not who he said he was.”
Anne straightened in surprise. “He’s not Sir John, a bailiff?”
“Nay,” she whispered. “He’s John, Lord Russell, my betrothed.”
Anne’s mouth fell open. “Are you certain?”
“He says he has the ring,” she answered dully, “although as a maid, I could not demand to see it. He has William’s eyes and Robert’s hair.”
“Well, I…I know not what to say. This is a good thing, is it not? You’ve been telling him our problems.”
“Well it might have been all right,” Elizabeth said, her voice rising, “if he hadn’t kissed me yesterday, hours before telling me the truth!”
“Oh my,” she breathed. Tugging on Elizabeth’s hand, she said, “Upstairs.”
Elizabeth followed dispiritedly and allowed Anne to close the door behind her.
Anne looked at her with worry as she guided her to another chair. “But he likes you; surely that is a good thing between two people who are going to marry.”
“Do you not understand?” Elizabeth cried. “He kissed me, the maid, knowing that I was not his betrothed, knowing that he was lying to me.”
“But you are his betrothed, and you’re lying to him, too,” Anne said, her expression confused.
“But I didn’t kiss him! Well, all right, I kissed him back, and I felt terribly guilty. But he admitted he’s been using me to get to you.”
“You mean using you to get to yourself.”
“Anne, stop! You know what I’m saying. He deliberately targeted me because I am your maid.”
“He has been trying to rescue me—you?”
“So he says.”
“You are the only one with access to the tower. Doesn’t his reasoning make sense?”
“All he had to do was befriend me, Anne,” Elizabeth whispered. “Teach me to trust him and then tell me the truth. Instead he flirted and he teased and he…”
“He kissed you.”
She nodded. “He said he hadn’t meant to go so far, that he couldn’t help himself.”
“Again, I insist that you see this in a good light. Surely he must be happy now that he knows who you are.”
“I didn’t tell him.”
Anne groaned and sank back in her chair.
“How could I, after what he revealed? He used me, Anne! If I were a mere maid, I would have thought he had feelings for me, and my own feelings would have been crushed. And don’t say he was desperate. I care not. He is nothing like William, who treated me with reverence, with love; John uses women. He even admitted that the women he’s usually with are paid to be with him!”
“Well, I’ve heard that men—”
“And he has no money, no army!” Elizabeth interrupted. “He tried to claim that his own brother neglected Rame Castle, and that all the soldiers are gone, and the people poor!”
“Do you think he lies?” she asked cautiously.
“I know not if he’s lying or someone lied to him, but that cannot possibly be true. William would never harm his own people.”
“But Lord Russell has no army.”
“Only three men-at-arms, one of whom is Philip Sutterly—or whatever his real name is. I didn’t ask where the other men are. So he has no show of force to win my release.”
“I thought you didn’t want him to bring an army. You were worried our people would be hurt or killed.”
“I know!” Elizabeth jumped to her feet, unable to sit still a moment longer. “I wanted my husband to be respectable. But John…needs me for my money,” she whispered brokenly, hugging herself. “It makes me feel…worthless as a woman.”
“Any man you married would receive your dowry,” Anne insisted. “It is the way of things. For you to take that personally is foolish. So his estate has become poor, however it happened. Would you feel the same way were it William coming to you, needing your money?”
“Aye, nay—I don’t know! William is dead. The life I had hoped to lead has died along with him. And the worst thing is…though I’d felt guilty, for once I had felt desired as a woman. But that wasn’t true; John was using me to get to you. To me. Oh!” She dropped back into her chair.
“And did he feel guilty for kissing you?”
“He said he did, but what does that prove? I have no idea what is a lie, or what is the truth. Perhaps he stole the ring!” she said shrilly.
“You said he looks like his brothers.”
/> In a sullen voice, Elizabeth said, “Only a bit.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Elizabeth glanced at her desperately. “What do you think I should do?”
Anne put up her hands. “Nay, this is not for me to decide. This is your life, your future. I have not met Lord Russell, so I cannot give you my opinion.”
“You would tell me to confess the truth, that I am his betrothed.”
Anne shrugged.
“Well, I cannot, not until I can trust him. That would be putting too much power into his hands. I’m alone with him constantly—he could abuse that like he did yesterday.”
“His kiss was an abuse?” she asked hesitantly.
“I don’t want to remember it.”
“But…you enjoyed it.”
Elizabeth groaned. “Aye, I enjoyed it, but that matters not! He could compromise me, and then my choices would be lost.”
“But if he’s your betrothed—”
“If. King Edward thought he was uniting two powerful families—it sounds as if John’s family has fallen in the world. Perhaps that nullifies the contract.”
“You would go against your father’s wishes? Was not your mother dear friends with Lord Russell’s mother? And wouldn’t that leave you vulnerable to Lord Bannaster, or whomever the king chooses?”
“Oh, Anne, my head is spinning! I don’t know what I’m going to do about the betrothal. I only know that right now, I need to find out if I can trust this man. He might be our only chance to put things right. Or he might be the worst thing to happen to me. I have to find out.”
“All right, I understand, and I even agree. But you cannot withhold the truth from him for too long. It would be as unfair as what he did to you.”
“But he will have deserved it, whereas I didn’t.”
“Oh, Elizabeth, I hope you can make all of this work. It seems like a dangerous undertaking.”
“Mayhap. But I have to know the truth. Maybe I can eventually persuade him to show me the ring.”
“What will you tell him that I—you—said about his revelation?”
“That I don’t know whether I can trust him. That I’m confused, and worried about my people. And all of that is the truth.”
