by Jean Oram
Oz slowly raised himself into a crouch, rubbing his jaw.
Nash pushed himself in front of Beth, fists tight under his chin. In a flash, Oz lashed out with his legs making Nash do an awkward dance in order to stay upright.
"Stop it!" Beth shrieked.
The men, brows lowered, repositioned for another blow. Katie pushed her way between them, Mandy on her heels.
"You planned this!" Beth pointed a finger at Katie who slapped it away.
"Did not!"
"You don't grab a woman's breast," Nash bit out.
Mandy stepped in. "He didn't, you liar!"
Katie moved to stay between the men and said calmly to Beth, "Your shirt is ripped."
Beth looked down to see her bra's pink lace exposed through a large tear.
"I was being a gentleman," Oz growled, pushing his torso toward Nash. Katie placed a hand against his chest to keep him at bay. "Which is more than I can say for you." Oz gave Nash a look loaded with judgment. "You may have intentions for my girl but—"
"You call—" Nash squared his shoulders.
"Your girl?" Mandy cried.
"Where's your sense of honor?" Oz called.
"I was protecting hers!" Nash quipped.
"Well, it's a little late for that!" he spit.
Beth stepped away from the growing fight as Katie stayed between the men, her face lined with anger. "What are you?" She glared at Nash. "A Neanderthal? I expected more out of a man like you. Fighting and acting like Beth's your piece of meat."
Nash's fists fell, the fight gone.
"Nash, let's go." Beth pushed at Nash's tight shoulder and didn't dare look back. "This isn't worth our time."
***
Beth quietly placed her silent phone on Katie's coffee table. She'd sent her resume and application in to a nanny hiring service in Dakota an hour ago and called to make sure they'd received it. The director reviewed her application over the phone and was quite frank. No second language skills. No formal child development training. No experience as a nanny. She would be at the bottom of the pile. If she was lucky she might get a call for an interview in six months to a year, but due to the number of highly qualified nannies available and a slowdown in the local economy, the director didn't see someone like Beth getting a placement other than as a relief worker for three to six hours a week. Beth couldn't live off of that.
She rubbed her eyes. Plan Nanny swirled away like water down a gopher hole. Fast and furious. She was truly stuck in Blueberry Springs with a pissed off best friend, an ex-fiancé, and an ex-lover. She was going to have to stick it out.
And after taking sides in the park yesterday things were going to be tough between her and Katie—assuming Katie ever came home again. The fact that she had stayed over at Will's place—something she so very rarely did—demonstrated how much Beth either needed a new place to crash or a massive gesture of forgiveness combined with a fortuitous alignment of planets and stars.
She unzipped her ratty suitcase. The airline had finally found her biggest bag and delivered it to her an hour ago. She dug under some dirty laundry and pulled out a plastic bag with the Eiffel Tower on it. Perfect.
She heard footfalls on the back steps and the door opened, a cool, crisp breeze roaring in, winter having blasted in overnight reminding her how a mountainous November may as well be December. Beth shivered and waited for Katie to enter the room.
"Hey," she said, gauging Katie's mood. Shoulders stiff, mouth set at a firm line. Not good.
Beth picked up the gift bag. "The airline found my luggage. This is for you."
Katie slowly pulled the snow globe out of the bag, her expression softening. "Wow."
"Do you like it?" She knew she'd just added the nicest snow globe to Katie's eclectic collection.
"This is very nice. Thanks." Katie shook the heavy globe and Beth stood beside her, admiring the fine sparkles as they floated down over the pewter scene of Paris, the Eiffel Tower sitting in a place of honor at the center.
Beth pointed to a spot near the tower. "We had a picnic right there." A contented feeling enveloped her thinking about that evening. It was an experience she'd never forget. The way she'd felt with Nash that evening. The way they'd laughed and carried on... it was well worth all the BS piling up around her.
Katie's eyes narrowed and Beth realized she'd done exactly the wrong thing. Mentioned Nash. She backed up a step and tried to think of a way to change the subject to make Katie see that they could still be friends even though she hadn't chosen her brother's side.
Katie banged the globe down on the shelf with the others. "I only suggested Nash as a way to divert your attention and help motivate Oz, not destroy him."
"I—"
"Haven't you noticed what your trip has done to him?"
"What do you mean?" she whispered.
"The drinking. Mandy... I can't believe he kissed Mandy."
"That was before I booked the trip," Beth protested. "Why do you think I left? I had to preserve a piece of myself."
"Is that what he told you?" Katie asked, her eyes flicking to the snow globe, her head titled to the side. There was a hard look in her eyes that told Beth she'd never understand Beth's side because in order to do so she'd have to abandon her brother, her own blood. And blood was always thicker than water. "Can't you see that it's you?" Katie asked. "You're the one pushing him to all this stupid-assed, self-destructive, humiliating behavior—"
"Am not!" She promptly clamped her mouth shut, knowing if she opened it again she'd lose her friend.
"You are destroying him." Katie prodded Beth's shoulder with a finger. "You need to stop seeing Nash and show Oz you still love him."
"I'm not seeing Nash," Beth said hotly. "And even if I was it wouldn't be anyone else's business because Oz BROKE UP with ME!" Beth tried to calm the shakes that had taken over her body. Her words came out fast and blurred. "Don't you get it, Katie? He's broken up with me! He told me to move on so he could go kiss Mandy. He doesn't want me. He wants her."
"Nobody wants Mandy and certainly not Oz! And yesterday, why do you think he—"
"She was draped all over him!"
"He shook her off like he always does! He still loves you. And he doesn't love HER!"
"Well, he has a really fucked up way of showing it! A real man would marry the woman he loves and not tell her they were over so he could get back together with his ex!"
The tenants upstairs banged on the floor for them to keep it down. The girls faced each other, puffing as their chests heaved, daring each other to be the one to take up the fight again, to prove the other one wrong and to make them admit defeat.
"I think I'd better find a new place to live," Beth said, turning to pick up her suitcase.
***
Nash nuzzled Beth's bare shoulder. "Why don't you move in with me?" he asked.
Forty-five minutes ago Beth had appeared at Nash's door, suitcase in hand. He'd let her in, no questions asked. He'd filled her with ice cream and listened without interrupting as she'd spilled the story of her fight with Katie.
As agreed, their Parisian fling had ended on the tarmac. But sitting on Nash's couch, his hand still slightly swollen from punching Oz, Beth found she hadn't been able to—or even wanted to—keep her hands off of him. She'd set her empty bowl aside and pounced. He'd greeted her renewed affections with the same desperate vigor and passion. The problem was, somewhere along the line her feelings had edged toward serious and she assumed Nash's hadn't.
"You have a guest bed?" she asked, gauging his reaction.
His eyes squinted for a split second and his body tensed. "Right. Of course," he said quickly, sitting up. "There's a Murphy bed in my office. You are welcome to take it over."
Was that disappointment in his eyes? Had Nash been offering her a path to her dreams?
She sat up and studied him, trying to see all of him without an enveloping cloud of hope. He was kind and supportive. Stable. Fun. A good lover. They'd been amazing in Paris. Add all
that to the total package, along with the potential of him being ready to hand over his heart...
But. But, but, but. Stop the bus. This had nothing to do with his heart. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious while in Blueberry Springs. He wasn't going to fall for a country bumpkin.
Had things changed, or was his offer simply a lonely man seizing an opportunity? Nothing more. After all, at their age, it was fashionable in small towns to be with someone. Not like in the city where it was fashionable to be single and independent.
"You okay?" Nash asked, the air between them electric and tense.
"Say I accept your offer to stay here. Can we—would it be okay if I didn't tell people right away?"
Nash raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.
"I mean," she said quickly. "I want to establish to everyone that we're friends, not lovers."
"Haven't we already done that?"
Beth paused. "Well... yeah."
"Are you worried what others will think and say?"
She nodded.
Nash gave her chin a light nudge with his swollen fist. "Since when did my Beth care about what others think?"
She gave a small smile, a warmth washing over her. More than anything she wanted to wrap herself in his arms and stay there. Instead she sat with her knees drawn up to her chest, thinking.
This was her life.
Was this the exit sign she'd been seeking?
Was this a way to start over? A lifeline? A stepladder into the life she wanted?
She let out a hefty sigh. "I guess I just don't want Oz doing something self-destructive if suddenly it's like—BAM!—here we are."
Nash ran a hand through his golden hair. "Uh... Oz. I see."
"It's not that way," she said quickly, eager for him to believe he wasn't competing with her ex. "I just need to be sensitive to the impact our actions might have because every time I move forward I seem to set him back and it's getting scary the way he's self-destructing." She watched Nash, hoping he'd understand that she still cared about Oz and what happened to him even if they weren't together.
Nash flipped the covers off his legs and stood. He pulled on satin boxers that urged her to forget talking and to pet its bulges. He paced the end of the bed, then eventually settled next to her. "You know you deserve better than Oz and his issues."
"I just need to take things slowly."
"Take what slowly?" he asked, hope lighting his eyes. He leaned closer, his eyes bright and clear.
Beth pushed her chin deeper into her knees. Wow. Could she do this? Could she pursue something with Nash? Could she live up to this life? Could she fall in love again?
Hadn't she already? Or were those feelings simply desperate need and lust?
Nash rested a hand gently over hers. "You can be free, Beth. You just have to decide on it. You don't have to run or hide. What this town thinks and believes doesn't define you. You are more than this town. You are adventure and independence." Beth's eyes welled with tears. She loved how he always believed she was more than who she was. But maybe others did too. Oz found her independent. How did these two men see the woman she wanted to be but didn't feel like she truly was?
"I fell for that strong girl I saw in Paris," he said. "She's really something. Full of life, light, and hope. The future... it's good." He tipped her chin to look her in the eye. "I know it's tough bringing that girl home to a town full of expectations and history, but you can do it, Beth. And I can help." He paused, still holding her gaze. "If you want me."
She gave him a crooked smile. "You fell for me?"
Nash smiled softly and pulled her against him. He gave the top of her head a kiss. "How could I not?"
"You realize I'm a country bumpkin, right?"
Nash roared with laughter. He wiped the tears from his eyes and held her face. "Even though you are a country bumpkin." He placed a kiss on her lips and wrapped her deep in his arms.
Her mind refused to process the conversation. It was like it got stuck in a groove and couldn't bump itself back out. Did he mean, move in together like lovers? Or as boyfriend and girlfriend in a serious and committed relationship? Did he fall for her as in love? Real love?
Nash was supposed to be a light and easy rebound fling and nothing more. Something new. If she moved forward, it would strike a finality to any future with Oz. But the end had already been marked. And a new beginning was what she was seeking.
And it was right here just waiting for her to leap. To say yes.
Step forward, girl.
It just felt so... unexpected.
Welcome. But uncertain. And not quite real.
But wasn't that the exciting part? How this unexpected man had swept her off her feet? How he assumed she was all these things she wanted to be? How he was confident she would choose him—confident enough to put himself out there even when she was still hanging on to an ex?
He was good for her. He understood her.
Screw it all.
He was hers and she was his. Starting now.
She caressed the seriously high-thread-count sheet covering her. She sighed, imagining a life with Nash. It would be good. Different and good. Sometimes you were handed a second chance, and all you had to do was close your eyes and step into it.
"So, do I have to stay on the Murphy bed?" she asked, peering up at him, head against his bare chest.
"You can sleep anywhere you like as long as I can be right there beside you."
Chapter 14
The phone rang and Beth stretched across Nash's bed to reach it. His alarm clock said 11:37 p.m. meaning it had to be the hospital giving Nash yet another shift since he always said yes. It was starting to get boring hanging out in his empty condo all alone. It had taken her a whole two hours to get her life's possessions unpacked over a month ago and since then had been dying of boredom whenever he went out. It was as fabulous as ever when he was home, but the man didn't return her texts when he was working. He used to, but now he said she was too distracting. She needed to convince him to get a game system or something. Anything. There was only so much hanging out alone before you started talking to the walls so your mind didn't turn to kibble.
She couldn't pester Cynthia because she was wrapped up in her wedding plans and didn't need help. And Katie was still in a snit (well, she assumed so since neither of them had broken the weeks of silence). She was scared what Katie must be thinking about her moving in with Nash—even though she'd been telling everyone it was only temporary. Although, holding Nash's hand last night when watching the carolers and fire performers downtown may have shown everyone it wasn't so temporary after all. That or the kiss she'd given his chilled lips. And true, she didn't know one-hundred percent what Nash was feeling seeing as she still hadn't shared the L word with him... but it felt real. Felt serious. Felt good.
She sighed and picked up the phone as Nash called from the bathroom, "Can you get that?" He ducked his head out of the en suite. "It's probably the hospital."
"Yeah, I know." Why was he always on the top of the list? She needed to teach him to live a little more. There was more to life than constant work with the odd big trip thrown in. Sometimes little weekend events like last night's Christmas festival could be just as memorable. Although still not as awesome as the pampering she got in Paris, obviously. She lifted the receiver. "Hello, Nash's answering service. How can I help you this evening?"
She winked at Nash who'd stopped flossing his teeth to give her a stern look. She winked and grinned at him.
Silence on the phone.
"Hello?" she repeated.
"Beth?" The familiar voice made her hands curl into fists. She snuck a glance at Nash over her shoulder. "It's for me," she mouthed, and Nash closed the bathroom, giving her privacy as he completed his fastidious oral hygiene regime.
"What do you want, Oz?" she asked in a low voice.
"I got in shome trouble," he slurred.
Beth took a quick intake of breath, her mind flitting from one horrible sc
enario to another. "What kind?"
"Can you bail me out?"
"Bail?" Her heart took up speed racing and she had to take long, drawn-out breaths to calm herself. "Where are you?" Please tell me you didn't kill someone drinking and driving.
"I didn't kill anyone," he said darkly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud."
Beth snuck a peek over her shoulder to check on Nash. Door still closed.
"What did you do?" She slid onto the floor, her back resting against the bed. Was she the only one he could call with his one call? And if so, how the hell did that happen?
No, it couldn't be. He had his mom, Katie and Will, Mandy, and a smattering of other relatives and friends. She was the one who had nobody other than Nash, Cynthia, and Gran.
"Why are you calling me?" she asked. She squeezed her eyes shut, reminding herself to push air in and out of her lungs. She opened her eyes and took in her now familiar surroundings. The cream colored walls, the original art, the bed that sent her off to sleep faster than if the sandman had personally bonked her over the head. And she had steady, reliable, loving Nash who didn't freak out at the idea of having kids. Who invited her in instead of shoving her out. She'd picked the right path. The right man. "Did you call your mom?" she asked.
"No."
"Well, since this is your first time I'm sure she'll come and get you, even though she'll probably go apeshit. This is your first time?"
"Yes," he said immediately, although it sounded more like yesh. "Are you and Katie still fighting?"
"We aren't exactly talking."
Oz sighed. "She's stubborn."
"I'll send your mom in to get you, okay? I'm busy right now." She began to put the phone down.
"Don't." Something in his voice caused her to pause before hanging up.
She waited, listening to his breath come in puffs through the line. She wondered what he looked like. How his eyes seemed. Those windows into his soul—were they empty? Dark? Rimmed with red or wide open?
"You moved in with him."
Beth braced herself as Oz's hiccups were followed by strangled noises.
