Make Me Lose Control

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Make Me Lose Control Page 22

by Christie Ridgway


  Amy rattled the candy in her box. “Want to swap a Mint for a Dud?”

  The mint would make her breath smell nice. “Sure.” They made the exchange.

  Then Amy glanced over her shoulder. “So that’s your dad?”

  London looked, too. “Yeah.” He’d taken her place next to Shay and was drinking from her bottle of water.

  “He’s cute.”

  “You think?” She stole a second glance. Cute was Colton, a boy. London didn’t mind admitting, though it was just to herself, that her father was actually handsome. Not like a movie star, like Ryan, Poppy’s fiancé, but in a more rugged, hand-me-a-hammer kind of way. Though Shay’s brother, Brett, and her dad didn’t look at all alike—their coloring was different—both he and Jace gave off the sense they could compete on a survival-of-the-fittest game show and win.

  Her dad could build a shelter, she was sure. Find food and water. It made her feel warm inside to think he could protect her from weather or bears or...whatever stuff life dished out.

  Though she only wanted to rely on herself, she remembered. And she certainly didn’t want Jace micromanaging her. She wasn’t five years old like Mason.

  Amy leaned over to sip from the straw in her soda, which was sitting between them. “Does he like Shay?”

  “Who?” London asked, blinking.

  “Your dad.”

  “Oh.” She shrugged. “Sure he likes her, I guess. She’s a good cook. Men always like good cooks, right?”

  “My dad is the one who cooks in our family. My mom makes good pies, though.”

  It reminded London of her planned cookie baking. Opal had recently sent the requested recipe. On a sigh, she descended into a little daydream. Cookies studded with chocolate chips cooling on racks. Colton stopping by. Maybe she could ask him to stay for Shay’s enchilada casserole and save the cookies for dessert. She’d wear that cute dress from the boutique, the one that tied at the shoulders...

  Amy was peeking up the rows again. “I think he likes-her, likes her.” She wiggled her brows. Giggled.

  “What?”

  “I think your dad likes Shay like a man likes a woman, not a cook.”

  London frowned. “He said he doesn’t have a girlfriend—”

  “Yet,” Amy said, giggling some more. “What would you think about that?”

  Something churned in London’s belly. She put her hand there, rubbing at the ugly, almost-sick feeling. If her dad gave his attention to someone else, who would build her a shelter? Who would find her food? Who would keep her safe from bears?

  She shook her head, trying to dash the silly thoughts away. For one, hadn’t she always done a fine job taking care of herself? For two, even if her father liked Shay, that didn’t mean she would care for him back.

  Though she didn’t like the idea of his heart being broken, either.

  Sliding down in her chair, she cast a look back, hoping they wouldn’t notice her staring. They were relaxed in their seats, their heads turned toward each other, their expressions... What did she know about grown-up romance and what it looked like?

  Her mother’s boyfriends had mainly stayed out of London’s way, so she didn’t know if there was a particular manner in which an interested adult party should behave.

  As she watched, Shay’s gaze shifted from London’s dad to look directly at her. Busted! She widened her eyes and smoothed out her forehead, going for innocent, when the woman gave her a little smile. Then an encouraging, though subtle, thumbs-up sign.

  The acknowledgment made her feel...good.

  Shay always made her feel good, even when she was making her dust the furniture or fold her laundry. While London saw her dad as capable, Shay made London feel capable.

  Smart and responsible.

  She thought of that thumbs-up again. Cared for.

  Sliding a little lower, a different daydream entered her head. A table set for dinner. Flowers in the middle, those pretty place mats that were the color of the lake, a selection of yummy food. Not a pea in sight. People gathered around ready to eat. Her dad, Shay, London.

  A real family.

  Colton landed in the seat next to hers just as the lights went out. She hardly noticed, her focus on the new dream building in her mind.

  * * *

  WATCHING THE GAGGLE of teenagers at the ice-cream parlor, Shay smiled to herself. London had done it. She’d found her way into a social group and she looked as if she were having the time of her life.

  When she and Jace had met the girl in the lobby after the movies, she’d begged for the chance to join her new friends for a treat across the street. Jace had said yes, and they’d gone straight there, to find the other kids sitting in a booth, each wearing expectant, hopeful expressions. “Oh,” London had said, a shadow of guilt crossing her face, “I kind of promised you’d spring for sundaes.”

  That’s what Jace was in line to order and pay for now.

  Since his back was turned to her, she allowed her gaze to linger on him. He was dressed in mountain-casual: a beat-up pair of chinos, a short-sleeved, rumpled sport shirt, tails out, and some boat shoes that might have been rescued from the bottom of the lake. The labels were luxury, she guessed, but he wore them with a casual air that she recognized from the other wealthy visitors to the Blue Arrow resort area.

  She glanced down at her leather sandals and remembered she’d purloined them from Poppy’s closet. Knowing her thrifty sister, they were likely from a local resale shop.

  When Jace moved, her gaze went with him. He strolled to the teen booth, where he propped a number on the table as well as a thick stack of paper napkins. It was such a dad thing to do that hope surged.

  Perhaps it made her as optimistic as the irrepressible Poppy, but Shay hadn’t given up on the idea that Jace would change his mind. Instead of sending London off to boarding school and heading back to Qatar, he’d adapt his lifestyle, stay in the States and be an on-site father to his daughter. No more solitary ways.

  She caught the pointed once-over he now gave the lone boy in the group, Colton, who was squeezed between London and another girl. Shay pressed her lips together to hold back her grin. Despite what Jace thought, it appeared to her he had the paternal instincts for the job.

  With a nod to the teens, he turned and made his way to the small table Shay had commandeered. When their eyes met, her heart did a little bump-and-grind and she redirected her focus to the marble-topped table, determined to disguise her reaction. It wouldn’t do for him to guess she’d fallen in love with him.

  The man who was intent on “blowing past” her.

  In moments since that night he’d talked of building a fairy house for her, she’d tried dredging up some righteous anger about that. How could he do this to her—find his way into the heart she’d kept inviolate forever—and then calmly take his leave?

  But she’d known it was his intention from the very beginning. She’d never expected him to be long-term in her life, from the night she’d turned to him in the Deerpoint Inn bar and blurted out it was her birthday.

  Now Jace pulled out the chair across from her, its metal legs screeching against linoleum. “Why the sad face?” he asked, dropping into the seat and setting another plastic number on the tabletop.

  “That sound,” she lied. “Like fingernails on a chalkboard.”

  His eyebrows rose and he studied her face as if trying to detect the truth.

  She dipped her chin and fussed with her hair to distract him, apprehension prickling along her spine. If he was intent on reading her mind, it might be better that she resign and leave the house immediately, she thought, in a little rush of panic. When he left, she’d only have her pride, and she was hanging on to that, by God.

  Laughter from the teen booth erupted, and she looked over, relaxing as she saw London grinning along w
ith the rest of them. The girl had never looked so happy. The days of raccoon liner and asking to be called Elko or Des Moines seemed like a lifetime ago. She’d stay, Shay decided, she’d stay as long as possible with the teen to ensure those old insecurities wouldn’t return.

  She glanced over at Jace, noting he was watching the teens, too, wearing his own half smile.

  Her gaze shifted away from him again, lest she be caught mooning over something she couldn’t have.

  Maybe her feelings for him would evaporate, she thought, desperate to find something to hang on to besides the anticipation of heartbreak and loss. Surely that was true. He was her first love and everybody knew first love never lasted.

  But then her mind leaped to her sister Mac and You Know Who and she wanted to stab herself.

  “So...”

  Jace’s voice pulled her back to the present.

  “Now that we’re pals and everything,” he continued. “France?”

  “What about it?” she asked, stalling.

  He linked his fingers on the table. “Where’d the idea come from?”

  “My friend, and former college roommate, Dee, she’s half-French and her uncle runs the school.” Shay had once been thrilled with the mere idea of visiting her there, saving for a time when she’d use it as a home base and travel throughout Europe for a number of months. But her bank account didn’t expand all that quickly and when Dee floated the notion of an actual teaching position with an actual, regular and fairly generous salary, she’d begun thinking beyond a vacation.

  “What’s the other Walkers’ opinion on you leaving the mountains?”

  She shrugged. “They like Dee. When we were in school, she used to come up here in the summers.”

  His golden eyes narrowed. “Brett, Mac and Poppy don’t know, do they?”

  “They will.” She waved a hand. “And they want me to be happy.”

  He sat back in his chair, stretching out his long legs. “Is leaving your family, leaving this place you love, going to make you happy?”

  “Poppy’s happy. She’s been splitting her time between LA and Blue Arrow.”

  “France is a hell of a lot farther than Los Angeles. You’re not going to be bopping over for a quick chat with your sisters or to see Mason whenever you get an urge.”

  Mason. That was a low blow. She adored her nephew. “It doesn’t have to be forever,” she said. “A year. Maybe three.” Mason would be well into elementary school then.

  “The money’s good,” she added, when Jace just looked at her.

  “Which you’re going to invest in the cabins.”

  She lifted her chin. “That’s right.”

  “I’ll be interested to hear what your sisters and brother have to say about that. Whether they think your sacrifice is worth it.”

  “Sacrifice! It’s France. Cheese, chocolate, coffee, baguettes. Wine.”

  His expression remained skeptical. “Who are you trying to convince—me or yourself?”

  Lucky Shay was able to avoid the annoyance of answering when a server came up to their table with two sundaes. Hot fudge for Shay, a banana split for Jace.

  She was happy to dig in and drop the conversation altogether.

  It took several bites of ice cream, fudge, whipped cream and nuts to begin to eradicate the bad taste the discussion had left in her mouth. It was the cherry that finally did the trick and for good measure, she stole Jace’s from the top of his dessert when he happened to glance over at the feasting kids.

  He looked back at his banana split, then at her just as she popped the little red orb into her mouth. “You! You stole my cherry.”

  “I’m sure that was gone long ago,” she said, chewing with relish.

  “You are a bad girl,” he said, frowning at her.

  “Never.” She laughed. “Not until the night I met you.”

  “I know it,” he said, looking arrogant and smug and so very male. “But you’re going to have to pay for swiping the cherry, darlin’.”

  Before she could do any more than smile at his mock-threatening tone, he’d swiped up a fingerful of whipped cream he then deposited on her nose.

  “Jace!” She grabbed her napkin, going cross-eyed as she tried cleaning off the mess.

  Then they both laughed and were still doing so when they noticed London standing nearby, staring at them, a bemused expression on her face.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked, her gaze darting between them.

  “Your father is very rude,” Shay said primly, only to be rewarded by another dab of whipped cream, this time on her chin. “Jace!”

  “Shay!” he mimicked, grinning at her. But he leaned close with a fresh napkin to clean her face himself. “And you missed a bit here,” he said, running his warm thumb over her nose.

  He was so near, she was breathing in that salty, soap-clean scent of him. Her heart started to hammer and she felt a flush spread up her neck. She pushed his hand away, afraid she’d do something inappropriate like crawl into his lap if he didn’t stop touching her. “You should see what your daughter wants,” she said, looking over at the girl.

  London was still watching them. “Not so weird,” she murmured. Then glanced over her shoulder at her pals and back to Jace. “Could we order a couple of drinks?”

  He pulled out some money and handed it over. She danced away.

  “I feel like I’m a wallet,” he groused, though she could see he was smiling again as he watched London chatter with the other kids.

  “You’re a father,” Shay said. “Same thing.”

  He continued to observe the teenagers and his eyes narrowed when Colton playfully blew the paper wrapper from his straw into the girl’s face. “I’m trying to keep an open mind about that kid,” he muttered.

  She hid her smile. “So what about you?” she asked. “Were you so dangerous at sixteen, seventeen?”

  He took his eyes from the booth and gave a sheepish shake of his head. “Probably not. At that time I had chores at home and a part-time job, so I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to get into too much trouble with girls.”

  “Ah.” That only came later, she supposed.

  “But I had thoughts,” Jace said darkly.

  Shay leaned close, whispered, “So you know...girls do, too.”

  “Don’t tell me that!” He sent an alarmed look over his shoulder. “Do not tell me things like that.”

  She grinned. “I know this crash course in parenthood is difficult—”

  “Look, I’m going to do what’s best,” he said, his expression turning serious. “I promised London that. I promised myself that.”

  “You’ll do what you think is best,” she countered, but then went back to her sundae. They’d been having a nice afternoon and she didn’t want to muck it up by overselling her point.

  They traveled back to the house, everyone in good spirits. London spent the boat ride texting, surely communicating with her new friends she’d only left minutes before. Jace cast his daughter a quick glance, and Shay thought he might say something disapproving about that, but she could see him think better of it.

  He’s learning, she thought. You’ve got to know which battles to pick and when.

  She caught his eye, mouthed “Good job,” and they shared a moment of silent communication.

  I’m not a complete idiot, he told her.

  She held up both hands in surrender. You’re right.

  Once back at the house, she found she was chilled and went upstairs for a sweater before returning to the kitchen to do some dinner prep. She could hear Jace and London murmuring as she approached the entry, and she slowed her steps to give them a longer chance to converse in private.

  They’re bonding, she thought, not feeling the least bit of shame as she shuffled forward to eave
sdrop.

  London was speaking. “...I saw the way you two are together.”

  Jace’s reply was unintelligible.

  “I don’t not like it, you know,” London said. “Shay’s cool. Like, really cool.”

  Shay smiled. That was heavy praise from the fifteen-year-old and it made her stupidly happy. Who said eavesdroppers never heard good about themselves?

  “I’m glad she was here for you,” Jace said, his voice a quiet rumble. “For us.”

  Hah! Us. That did sound like bonding!

  “So I was thinking...” London sounded more hesitant than usual. “Remember when you told me you didn’t have a girlfriend?”

  Shay held her breath.

  “I remember.”

  “Maybe Shay should be your girlfriend,” London said quickly. “My friends, they kinda wondered about it and I thought at first it was weird, but now...now I don’t think it’s weird at all.”

  Jace was silent. Shay couldn’t imagine what his expression might be.

  “I don’t need a mom or anything like that,” London continued. “But that doesn’t mean we couldn’t be...I don’t know...like a family. The three of us.”

  The three of us. Like a family.

  There was another long beat of silence, then Jace’s voice rang out, adamant. “That’s not going to happen, kid. Okay? Never going to happen.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  RIDICULOUS HOW JACE’S statement had hurt so much. Shay tried to talk herself out of the pain, knowing he only spoke the truth she’d already accepted, but it remained there, a tight and thorny constriction around her heart. That her love for him was going to somehow evaporate seemed even sillier a hope now.

  So she soundlessly let herself out of the house. Getting away for a little while would do her some good, she hoped. An opportunity to regroup and then return in a happier frame of mind.

  Gas prices were too high and conserving money too important for aimless driving. She considered escaping to Poppy’s, but she couldn’t face her sister’s sunny and romantic disposition right now. Mac would take one look at her and spot trouble Shay didn’t want to explain.

 

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