by Ines Saint
A request for advice on ending a date? Noseclips? Gracie shook her head. He definitely wasn’t flirting. “It wasn’t a date. I was out with a girlfriend and a coworker,” she explained before slipping the mask over her nose and mouth. He wasn’t even looking at her.
Josh kneeled down in front of the box he’d been looking at in order to keep his eyes from drinking Gracie in. The blue dress made her eyes look brighter and the ruffle and cut made the rose-pink in her hair look even more fun. She was sweetness, joy, and color in a dark, musty room. Possibly in a dark, musty life. He didn’t even want to think about the relief he’d felt when she’d said she hadn’t been out on a date. Everything he was thinking and feeling pointed to complications in his life, and that he didn’t need any more of those was all he needed to know. “So, yeah. Clyde Cupcake.”
“Did Judge Monroe think Clyde was murdered?”
Josh riffled through some papers. “Maybe. His notes are long and detailed and the ink has faded, so they’re hard to read. I haven’t gotten through the entire file. I do know he was trying to figure out who really stole Tilda’s prize-winning recipes. See? He interviewed both Tilda, her rival, and two of Tilda’s employees: the pastry chef and a cashier. Her rival refused to talk, but Tilda said she had always believed Clyde had been framed. Turns out she had never accused him of the theft.” He handed the notes to Gracie and was surprised when her thumb brushed his hand. It didn’t appear to be accidental, but when he looked up, feeling more than a little affected by the brief contact, he saw her cheeks outside the mask were a fire-engine red. The brush couldn’t have been on purpose. Not with that reaction.
Gracie cleared her throat. “Oh. Look. Pretty handwriting. It seems like everyone had such graceful penmanship back then.” He gave her a moment to read through the notes, using her distraction to observe her more closely under the feeble yellow light. She looked like what he imagined angels must. Caring. It was in her genuine interest, the way she was appeasing him by kneeling down in her pretty dress, and the way she was handling the old, delicate papers he’d handed her.
The idea that she was ruining her dress stopped his wayward thoughts and he got up, holding his hand out to her. She looked up, her eyes showing her confusion. The mask was cute on her. It made him smile. “Your dress,” he said. “You’ll ruin it.”
“Oh.” She put the notes down and took his hand. He tugged her a bit and she bounced up, seeking purchase by holding onto his arms. Their eyes met and held, and her thumbs grazed his arms before she pulled back, as if his arms had been on fire. “Sorry,” she mumbled from beneath her mask. “I didn’t mean to . . .”
Josh watched her. She had definitely grazed both his arms with both her thumbs. That couldn’t have been an accident. “Didn’t mean to . . . ?” he prompted. Though he hated putting her on the spot, something was going on, but it was difficult to believe Gracie was suddenly flirting with him.
“Nothing.” She looked down, her cheeks a hot pink this time. “I’ll go and leave you to Clyde.” A moment later she was beyond his reach, lightly treading down the stairs.
Gracie reached the bottom of the stairs thinking she was home free, but Josh jumped the last few steps and went to stand between her and the door. “Wait,” he said, nearly out of breath. “Your coat’s still upstairs.”
“I don’t need it now, just leave it on my porch when you leave.” She tried to pry her mask off, but the elastic band got caught in her hair. He reached out to help her, but she shooed his hand away and finished untangling it by herself before reaching for the door knob.
Josh didn’t step aside. “What’s going on, Gracie?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s going on.”
He put gentle hands on her shoulders. “I thought you’d know by now that you can tell me anything.”
That really aggravated her. “I’m not a child, Josh.”
His hold tightened ever so slightly and his eyes burned into hers. “Trust me, I know,” he said, before dropping his hands and stepping away from the door.
“Then stop treating me like one!” She followed him, her anger making her more eager to get through to him now than to leave. “I know you probably think I’m behaving like one, but that’s because I’m inexperienced at being around men. And there’s no shame in inexperience. We’re all inexperienced at something. It doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be treated like a woman.”
Josh raked a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to treat you like a child. I’m trying to treat you like a friend, and that sometimes involves ignoring you’re a woman. Of course there’s no shame in inexperience. Is that what’s going on?”
“Is what what’s going on?” she asked. He was making less sense than she was.
He gave his head a quick shake, as if he were trying to clear his thoughts. He looked as confused as she felt. “That we’re friends, but I’m still a man and . . . you’re not sure how to act around me?”
Gracie dropped onto the bottom step and didn’t answer for a while. What was worse, she wondered: to come off as childish and temperamental or to speak the truth? Already she’d broken rule number one, not to overthink things, over and over again. “Yes and no.” She blew out a small, frustrated breath. “I mean, yes, we’re friends, and you’re a man and I don’t always know how to act around you. But that’s only half of it.”
Josh folded himself down next to her and placed his flashlight facing up on the step behind them, bathing them both in light and shadow. Gracie leaned into the shadows and sighed. “The thing is, I think I’d like to have my own family someday, but my experience with men was cut short at a young age. I don’t know if you’ve guessed it, but I haven’t been in a relationship, or even on a date, since Brad. I’ve been so focused on doing what I love for a living that I’ve forgotten how to act around men. My grandmother, my sisters, and even Rosa and Ruby thought I should practice flirting because I’m so . . . rusty.” She took a deep breath and let it out. This was the hard part. The embarrassing half-truth. “I decided to try practicing on you because I trust you,” she explained, conveniently leaving out that she was also massively attracted to him. “The problem is that I thought it would be easier to gauge whether or not you were game before things got weird, but I was wrong; things got weird first.”
Josh stared at the floor for a long while and Gracie watched him out of the corner of her eye. The funny thing was that now that it was all out in the open, she was no longer worried about what he’d think. In her heart she knew he’d understand. Finally, he turned to her with a mischievous grin and said, “You were doing a good job.”
She rolled her eyes. There it was. His innate kindness. “No. I wasn’t.”
His smile widened and it warmed her from the inside out. “You were doing a fantastic job. It confused me, though; that’s all. Usually when someone flirts with me, I gather it’s because she’s attracted to me, but I wasn’t getting that vibe from you. I guess that’s because you’re only practicing your flirting on me because I’m safe.”
Gracie hesitated. That wasn’t the whole truth, but she wasn’t about to spill her guts. “And because nobody thought you’d mind.”
His eyebrows went up at that. “Who’s nobody?”
“I told you.”
“You told me your sisters, your grandmother, and Ruby and Rosa told you to practice and that you decided to practice on me. So, who chose me, Gracie?” His gaze was amused, but something in his eyes flashed when he said her name, making her think that for some reason he really wanted to know.
“I chose you.” She swallowed. “And they thought you wouldn’t mind.”
“They were right. I definitely don’t mind. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t confusing the situation, that’s all, and I was clumsy about it. Smart, beautiful, infinitely interesting women have a way of rendering a man stupid, you know. You should probably get used to it.” He dimpled. “Experience has nothing to do with it.”
Gracie bit back a smile. The man actually sounded s
incere. As if she really had rendered him stupid. She shook her head.
He bumped her knee with his. “I was flirting. Very sincerely, by the way. But you look like you’re ready to laugh at me.”
“I’m laughing because experience has everything to do with it, I think. You’re very good at it. But thank you for the compliment.”
“You’re welcome.” His eyes were so bright and full of fun, she couldn’t look away if she wanted to. The thought that Josh was somebody anybody could love crept in, but she wasn’t ready to study its implications, so she hastily pushed it aside. “It’s very hard to beat you were chosen because you’re safe and nobody thought you’d mind, but I tried.”
She bit her lip. The feeling between them now was what she’d hoped for. It was giddy and happy, and yes, safe. “Okay, then, how’s this? The consensus was that you’re not only safe but that you’re attractive, too.”
“Consensus, huh? By six smart, beautiful, and infinitely interesting women. I’ll take it.” The laughter that had been bubbling up spilled out and he joined her.
They tried a few times to get serious after that, but it didn’t work. They’d succumb to laughter once again. But it was more than flirty laughter; it was a shared moment of fun and understanding and friendship and she treasured it. When their laughter died down, they settled into a companionable silence. Gracie began to trace her fingers over the chips and cracks on the marble floor. “I hope you don’t restore them to perfection,” she said after a while. “They’re so beautiful like this. I love that they show the passage of time. I’d have them cleaned of course, but I’d celebrate their hard-earned scars by filling in the cracks and chips with something that embraces their existence while protecting them from further damage.”
Josh kicked a rug aside and began studying the tiles, too. “I like them like this, too. Lived-in. I don’t want to feel like I’m living in some sterile museum. I want to come home.” She beamed up at him but sobered when she saw how serious and thoughtful his expression had become. “Why do you only think you’d like to have a family? Why aren’t you sure?” he asked, surprising her.
His eyes were roaming over her face and Gracie didn’t feel the need to hide. At the moment she felt like she could tell him anything. She drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Well, I love kids and I think I’d make a good mom . . . but the thought that they’ll someday find out about the whole mess I was involved in and judge me for it, and maybe even make bad decisions of their own over it—it scares me sometimes.”
Josh looked at the door, then, and something in the way he was holding himself told her he was giving her concerns serious consideration. She was grateful for that. The last thing she needed was a meaningless platitude rolling off his tongue. She adored her family, but they were so eager to make her feel better, they sometimes forgot real life was always there, even the hard parts that couldn’t be hand-patted away.
“I don’t know what to say. It could happen, Gracie, and I get that’s why you worry about it, but all I can really think of is that everything you went through would end up being a good example, not a bad one. Not with you.”
Gracie could barely breathe. The feeling she’d had before, that Josh was all too easy to love, slammed against her chest. “Sometimes I think that, too,” she admitted. And though she was grateful to him for his honesty, she was wary of making the conversation about her and the past. Again. She was tired of it. She wanted to be friends with him above all else. “What about you?” she asked. “Do you think being a dad is in your future?” And then, after a sudden, alarming thought, she added, “I probably should’ve asked you if you were serious about anyone before I tried Rosa’s flirting lessons on you.”
He laughed and leaned back. “Nope. I’m not seeing anyone, and yes, I would like to be a dad someday.” He cut her a sideways glance, his eyes crinkling in the corner. “And as flattering as it is to be thought of as a safe, easygoing, and attractive guinea pig, you probably shouldn’t keep reminding me of your plan if you don’t intend to go through with it. I’m willing, you know.”
“Willing? To help me learn how to flirt with men, you mean?”
“Uh, no. To be flirted with,” he clarified. “So go ahead. Try one of Rosa’s moves on me.”
Gracie repressed a smile as she turned to face him. She’d have to skip the teasing in step one because his own teasing had her feeling too giddy to come up with anything good. At least smiling wouldn’t be difficult because his own smiling eyes made the corners of her mouth want to sneak up. Step two was to face her target, and she was already doing that. Step three was to establish eye contact. But they were already looking at each other, both of them trying not to laugh. There was no way he’d take her seriously if she didn’t take it seriously first. Which meant it was time for step four; incorporating subtle touches to engage him in conversation.
She scooched forward, placed her fingers against his upper arm, and tilted her head to look up at him, to study his reactions to see if everything Rosa, George, and Eduardo had said was true. But his eyes were searching hers again, and while she had already given so much of herself to him, she realized he hadn’t giving anything of himself away. Not really.
She stroked her thumb against his skin once, lightly, and felt the hard muscle beneath her hand contract. His smile disappeared and his gaze became more intense, and Gracie couldn’t look away. Rosa was right. There was something about the eyes. What a mind and a body tried to deny, the eyes truly couldn’t. If there was potential . . .
Gracie’s breath seized and her glance flitted away, both to hide her reaction and to do as Rosa had instructed. She focused instead on his arms. They were beautiful. Lean, muscular, smooth, and tanned. Not sure what she was doing or what she was hoping to accomplish, she dragged her index finger from the crook of his elbow to his wrist. Goose bumps appeared everywhere she touched. Her eyes flew back up to his.
“Hmmm. A reaction,” he teased. He held her gaze again and proceeded to run a light finger down her arm, just as she’d done. She didn’t have to look to know there were goose bumps. Inside, he’d left a trail of sparks. “What now, Gracie?” he murmured, leaning closer, his breath brushing her cheek.
Mouth dry and barely able to breathe, she wet her lips and whispered, “I think I’m supposed to try to make you crazy.” She took his hand, placed it on his upper thigh, and dragged a slow path down the center of his palm with her index finger before softly circling around and doing it again, her eyes never leaving his. His breathing became shallow, and she watched as his glance dipped down to her mouth before meeting her eyes again. It was a wicked trick. It had her mimicking the move. His looked perfect. Full and firm. Her heartbeat sped up.
He leaned forward, so slowly she was aching by the time she felt his warm breath on her lips. Oddly enough, she wasn’t scared at all. Only breathless. When he paused, she thought she’d hyperventilate if he didn’t close the distance. Just when she was ready to grab him by the shirt and pull him to her to find relief, he brushed his lips over hers, once, then twice, slowly and softly, before settling down to move over her mouth with caresses so thrilling and so dangerously close to piercing her heart, she had to pull away to catch herself before she shuddered. “I—I should probably leave,” she said against his lips.
His forehead rested against hers for a long moment, but he nodded once and pulled away.
Chapter 12
Josh groaned, turned over, and looked at the alarm clock on the table next to his bed. It was nine a.m. on a Saturday. And he’d been dreaming about Gracie. About slow, drugging kisses. Who the hell was knocking on his door? He took a moment to clear the sleep fog from his eyes and brain before yelling, “I need a minute!” He didn’t even want to know who it was. Hopefully, they’d leave by the time he was ready to open the door.
He loved sleeping in on weekends. It helped him recover from the constant adrenaline rushes he experienced during the week over going to court, obtaining new evidence, insights,
or breakthroughs, and from the low moments when he felt justice had not been carried. An aggressive game of soccer at noon usually finished ridding him of unhelpful regrets and demons. His new demon was the memory of Gracie’s warm lips, soft skin, and gentle touch.
He groaned again. A cold shower. That’s what he needed. Sleep had not come until early morning light for Josh. And someone was interrupting what could’ve been a much-needed restful morning in bed. He dragged himself to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, splashed cold water on his face, and pulled on a pair of sweats, hitting his knee against a chest in the process. Cursing, he took a quick, aggravated look around. The studio was tiny and sterile with its white walls and dark furniture. Now that he’d discovered the possibilities of a real home, he didn’t know how he’d put up with a studio for so long. Probably because time flew, and he was rarely there anyway.
He opened the door and gaped at his visitor.
It was Linda, and she was waiting for him with an inviting smile. He remembered the meaning behind that smile. Funnily enough, he remembered the meaning behind all her smiles.
He stepped out and immediately shut the door behind him. Her eyes roamed over his shoulders and torso and he wished he’d put on a T-shirt. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
Too tired and put off by her flirtatious smile to remember he didn’t want to be rude to a pregnant woman, Josh pointedly looked at her belly and then at her wedding ring. “Everyone in this building knows me, and most probably know you, too, because of your show. I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but I’m not too fond of rumors.” He crossed his arms. “Why are you here, Linda?”
“Because I saw the way you looked at me at your parents’ house, I know about the stuff that’s been popping up online, and I needed you to know that I had nothing to do with it this time.”
