This is the last time I’ll be on the grounds.
Once I left the gigantic gates, I’d never be admitted again.
I pushed away from that fact, burying it, denying it. I couldn’t think about that right now. Not seeing Davin again…
That wasn’t a reality I could live with.
I shook the guards loose and slid into my vehicle. The rest passed in a blur. Starting the motor, leaving the Compound, entering my apartment.
Time stood still.
It was like I detached from my body as if I was watching everything from above. I saw myself lay down on the couch and pull the covers up. I still wore my jacket and shoes. It was all surreal, like a bad dream. Yes, a dream. That’s what this all is. A dream. I hadn’t been fired. This was all just a nightmare and tomorrow it would go away. Davin would be back. I’d see him again.
This couldn’t possibly be my life.
A KNOCKING ON the door invaded the quiet, heaviness in my mind. I ignored it and pulled the covers higher, willing myself to sleep. All I wanted was unconsciousness. Nothingness. Sleep was the only way to achieve that.
The knocking came again, sharper this time. I burrowed deeper, but it wouldn’t stop. “Meghan? Meghan, are you in there? Open up, it’s me!”
The voice penetrated the fog, begging me to surface, but what was the point? I’d failed. Davin was gone. Nothing I could do would bring him back. I shut my eyes tighter, willing myself to lapse into oblivion.
Sleep would make it all disappear. Just like after Jer died. Six years ago, sleep had been the only way to get away from it all. The first few weeks after Jer’s death had been more painful than anything I could bear. It would be the same this time. Davin may still be alive, but he was lost from me forever. Already, the raw, aching sensation filled me, constricting my lungs until I couldn’t breathe.
“Meghan, I’m going to break this door down if you don’t open up! Get up and get out here! Now!”
Amy. But I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to get up.
“Meghan, I mean it. Answer the door! I know you’re here! Your car’s in the parking lot!”
I knew she wouldn’t leave. Forcing myself, I sat up, the blanket falling away. The clock ticked steadily on the wall. It was six in the evening. Have I really been lying here for eight hours?
“Meghan?” This time the yell was laced with concern, followed by another round of rapid knocking.
“Amy, I’m coming!” Somehow, I managed to stumble to the door and unlock it. When it finally opened, Amy practically burst through. A guy I’d never met before, followed her.
“What are you doing here?” I shoved hair out of my face.
She pushed past me into the entryway. “Are you kidding me? Do you really think I wouldn’t come here after what happened today?”
Amy took her coat off and threw it on a kitchen chair. Her hair was wild. Red curls flew everywhere. She looked ferocious and angry like a lioness come to protect her cub. The guy beside her just stood there, hands in his pockets.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “I’ve been worried sick. Nobody knows what the hell’s going on. One minute, everyone’s in the auditorium, waiting for you to show up, and the next Dr. Roberts is there, telling us you no longer work for the Compound, and he’d be presenting the findings.”
I covered my face with my hands. I didn’t want it to be true.
Amy stepped forward. “Meghan, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I replied automatically.
She snorted. “Like hell you are. You look like crap.”
My hands fell from my face.
“When did you last eat?” she asked.
Eat? Who cares about eating. “I don’t know, last night?”
“I’m making you food.” She pulled a chair out. “Sit down.”
I looked again at the guy Amy brought along. Converse sneakers adorned his feet. Straight-cut jeans, which looked stylish in an old-fashioned way, sat on his lean hips. I glanced back at his shoes and felt a brief twinge of curiosity. I wondered where he got them. I hadn’t seen Converse shoes in years.
“Meghan, this is Ben. Ben, Meghan.” Amy waved the introductions.
Ben had a crop of light brown hair. Dark rimmed glasses sat on his nose. I studied him. Something about him looked familiar. I welcomed the diversion. Anything to keep me from thinking of Davin.
“Do you recognize him?” Amy asked, her tone worried.
“Yes.” Even though I couldn’t place him. “Do I know you?”
Ben stuffed his hands in his jean pockets, his expression sheepish. “I told you we couldn’t fool everyone, Aimes.”
The distraction helped bury the pain even deeper. I felt a twinge of my old self return.
Amy bit her lip. “He works at the Compound.” She ran an agitated hand through her hair. “Crap, if you recognize him, others might too. At work, he dresses like a lab geek so people won’t recognize him in public, but maybe that won’t work.”
Everyone knew it was strictly against policy to date others within the Compound. The MRI prohibited intimate relationships among co-workers, worried that confidential information might get shared. The only way to work as a couple in the MRI was to come into your jobs already married. That was the only exception.
I wasn’t sure where I’d seen Ben before, but I guessed it was in another lab. Definitely against the rules for him and Amy to be together.
“How long have you been dating?” I asked.
“Six months.” Amy reached for Ben’s hand at the same time he reached for hers. I watched the small, intimate gesture. A pang of envy filled me. I’d never get to do that with Davin.
“Nobody’s found out yet,” she added.
I hated seeing the worry on Amy’s face. I was also surprised. I’d had no idea she had a boyfriend. She’d hid it well.
“You’ll probably be okay,” I mumbled. “I had no idea, and I don’t think Mitch or Charlie do either. If you could keep that from us, and if you’ve been out in public together for the last six months and nobody’s reported you, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” I hoped I was right. Sioux Falls wasn’t a big town, and since the Second Wave, it was even harder to stay anonymous.
“Anyway, sit down.” Amy hurried to the cupboards and fridge and made a face when she saw the meager selection. “When did you last go shopping?”
“I can’t remember.” Weekends I usually shopped. Lately, my weekends had been rather busy. I’d spent the last two with Sharon.
“Come on, Ben.” Amy pulled him over. “Give me a hand.”
I sat back and watched as they moved around my small kitchen, working quickly and efficiently. It was obvious they’d cooked together before. Fifteen minutes later, Amy put a plate of steaming pasta in front of me.
“It’s all I could do with what you had.” An empty jar of canned tomatoes sat on the counter, and I was pretty sure that was the last of my pasta. It smelled good, even though I wasn’t hungry.
“How’d you do this?” I eyed the steaming food. As much as I tried, the best I managed with Italian was overcooked noodles and burnt tomatoes.
Amy shrugged. “You’d be amazed what seasonings can do. Now, eat.”
I ate, only because I knew she wouldn’t stop pestering me until I finished. It was awkward. The entire time I ate, Amy and Ben sat across the table, watching me. Amy wouldn’t shift her gaze until I swallowed the last bite.
She nodded in satisfaction and stood, whisking my plate away before I could protest. She returned with a full glass of water. “Drink.”
I rolled my eyes but did as she said.
When my belly was uncomfortably full, Amy finally let up. She sat and clasped her hands. “Okay, now tell me what happened.”
The morning came crashing back. Talking to Davin openly and honestly as if we were the only two people in the world. We should have known better. It was the weekend, unfamiliar territory. I should have been more careful.
“It was stupid,” I finally
said.
“So it’s true? Dr. Roberts actually fired you?”
“Yes.”
“Word is that you were alone with Davin in his cell and the guard was nowhere to be seen. Is that also true?”
I nodded.
“And you and Davin were holding hands or touching or something like that?”
I nodded again. It was amazing how news traveled so quickly within the Compound, especially since everything was supposed to be so secretive. How does anyone even know that stuff? Did a researcher overhear Dr. Roberts telling someone?
“And Dr. Roberts caught you? Talking about… something?”
“Yes.”
Amy sat back, crossing her arms. “That’s where the news gets fuzzy. No one’s sure what you were talking about.”
At least something Davin and I shared was still private. “It’s nothing, really. Besides, it’s probably best you don’t know. I don’t want you getting in trouble.”
Amy rolled her eyes. “Please, I’m not going to get in trouble. They can’t fire all of their researchers for being curious. The labs would be freakin’ empty if they did.”
Ben chuckled. From the amused glance he gave her, I could tell he liked Amy’s feistiness.
I shrugged. “I broke the rules, simple as that.”
“Which rules?” Amy leaned forward.
Knowing she wasn’t going to let it go, I told her everything. About how close Davin and I had become, how we visited in private with the speakers turned off, how I’d gone to Rapid to meet his mother, how I’d smuggled things in from the outside since I was so desperate to get him talking. I told it all.
The only thing I kept private was my connection with Sara. I would never subject her to more testing. If Dr. Roberts found out about her ability…
I cringed at what he’d do.
When I finished, Amy gaped. “Are you kidding me?”
“It’s nothing to be proud of.”
Amy shook her head. “You’ve got balls, Meghan. I’ll give you that.”
I sighed. “Not that it did me any good.”
The entire time I’d told them my story, Ben had sat quietly, listening. I had a feeling he did that a lot. Stood in the shadows, picking up on the things around him, drawing little attention to himself. That was probably the trait that had kept others from recognizing him in public.
Amy was a personality that was hard to miss, and if that didn’t catch your attention, her hair surely would. But Ben had a blandness about him that one could easily overlook.
“I guess I understand now why Dr. Roberts sounded furious,” Amy said thoughtfully.
I grimaced at the way she said furious. I could picture my boss, well, former boss, throwing a tantrum. “Was it that bad?”
Amy sighed. “He’ll get over it eventually.”
“Do you know how Davin’s doing?”
She shook her head. “None of us do. Dr. Roberts closed the Sanctum this morning, to everyone.”
AMY AND BEN stayed another hour. Even though the dark spell that wound around me this morning had disappeared, Amy wouldn’t leave until I showered and changed clothes. I did it simply to appease her.
She gave me a fierce hug before they left. “Call me tomorrow.”
My wet hair stuck to her chin when she pulled back. I hastily swept it away. “I will, promise.”
After the door closed behind them, I turned around to face my empty apartment. Except this time, that emptiness didn’t weigh me down. Amy’s visit reminded me how driven I’d become to fight for the Kazzies, yet for eight short hours, I’d been reduced to a shell of what I was.
That had happened after Jer’s death too, but I’d been younger then. I hadn’t known I could survive something like that. I was older now, wiser if only a little. Curling up into a ball, wishing the world would go away, wouldn’t help Davin, and it wouldn’t help me.
I wasn’t sure what I could do now, but I’d be damned if I didn’t figure something out.
28 – NEGOTIATIONS
I spent the evening pacing my apartment as I tried to formulate ideas to get my job back. When the clock struck midnight, I finally called it quits. I had a few ideas, but until Monday morning, when the Compound administration offices opened, there was nothing I could do.
It was early Sunday morning when a scratchy feeling in my mind aroused me from a deep sleep. I bolted upright in bed. Pale morning sunlight peeked through my curtains. Pushing long, dark strands of hair from my eyes, I gripped my head and concentrated as hard as I could.
Sara?
Our connection clicked.
Meghan? Yeah, it’s me. So, you’re okay?
Yes. My head slumped into my hands. I’d completely forgotten about our connection amidst the whirlwind yesterday. I berated myself for not checking in with her earlier.
Are you okay? I asked.
I felt her nod. I’m fine. We’re all fine, but… Her nervousness strummed through our connection. There’s a rumor going through here that the Sanctum’s closed.
I grumbled in disgust. The MRI obviously hadn’t informed the Kazzies of their plans. Yes, that’s right. Didn’t somebody tell you?
Nobody tells us anything, but Victor overheard his guards at handover this morning. They must have forgotten his speaker was on.
What did they say?
That nobody’s allowed into the Sanctum right now, except for the guards and Dr. Roberts. Davin told me what happened yesterday, so I’m guessing that’s why it closed?
Yes, that’s why.
Sara sighed. I was worried that was the reason. Are you sure you’re okay?
I rubbed my eyes. I’m okay, but I got fired.
What!
Sara’s loud response made me squint. Dr. Roberts found out I visited Davin’s mom and brought him that picture. He fired me on the spot.
A long paused followed. Holy crap. Davin’s gonna freak.
It was possible he’d fly into another rage. I sighed. I didn’t know how severely Davin would react, but I did know he wouldn’t take it well. I’m hoping tomorrow after I talk to Dr. Sadowsky, I can get this all straightened out.
Sara perked up. So maybe you won’t be fired?
That’s my hope. Davin and I had a major breakthrough. That can’t be ignored regardless of what I did.
Okay, then we won’t tell Davin. Not yet at least. Things are pretty tense right now. If he flies off the handle, I don’t know what Dr. Roberts will do.
My stomach lurched. Yes. I agree. Let’s not tell him.
Do you want to talk to him? I can try channeling you again.
More than anything, I wanted to hear Davin’s voice, but I also knew I couldn’t lie to him. If he asked me what happened, I’d have to tell him. I didn’t want to take that chance.
Not yet. Let me get my job back first.
Okay. She paused. Hey, Meghan?
Yeah?
Good luck.
IF ANYONE HAD the power to get me back into the Compound, it was Dr. Sadowsky. Since I didn’t have his number, I had to wait until Monday to call him. To burn time, I went grocery shopping Sunday morning and for two runs in the afternoon.
Each mile that passed under my shoes only drove me more. I couldn’t sit still. Pacing in my apartment only made it worse. Thoughts of Davin being hurt burned my mind. I needed to keep moving, so I ran and then ran again.
My muscles protested angrily when I picked up the phone first thing Monday morning. Even that little movement hurt.
I had to go through several channels to reach Dr. Sadowsky. His secretary, Emma Lehmann, answered promptly on the second ring. It was only eight in the morning, but she sounded bright and fresh.
“Dr. Sadowsky’s office. This is Emma. How may I help you?”
“Hi, Emma. This is Dr. Meghan Forester. I need to speak to Dr. Sadowsky. Is he in?”
She paused. “No, he’s not, Dr. Forester. May I take a message?”
“Oh… yes.” I left my contact information along with a note that it
was urgent. When we hung up, I sat at my bedside, willing the phone to ring. It didn’t. I spent the next two hours pacing around my apartment. Waiting.
Every little sound made me jump, but it was never my phone, only a neighbor slamming their door, or someone walking by on the street. By ten in the morning, I still hadn’t heard from Dr. Sadowsky, so I called back.
Emma answered again on the second ring. I told her it was me and asked if he was free yet.
“No, I’m afraid he’s still busy.”
“Is he in the office today?”
“He’s busy, Dr. Forester.”
In other words, it was none of my business. Frustrated, I hung up and turned on my computer. Maybe an email will be better. He’ll get that for sure. Right?
I typed one up, using my personal address since I didn’t have access to my MRI email anymore.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: URGENT
Dr. Sadowsky,
I’ve called several times this morning. It’s urgent that I speak with you.
I’m sure Dr. Roberts told you what happened Saturday morning. I can’t apologize enough for my actions, but if you’d let me explain, you’ll know why I did everything. It’s also important that you know another researcher will not be able to replicate the sample I withdrew. Please call me. I’ll explain why.
Thank you,
Dr. Meghan Forester
I reread the email three times, mulling over how he would interpret it. I eventually hit send and proceeded to bite off all of my fingernails as I sat by my computer, waiting for a response.
The clock ticked steadily in the living room, reminding me of time passing by. Each tick, tick solidified that the world kept turning, oblivious to my turmoil, as if mocking that my life was on hold.
The universe didn’t care. I was just another peon, nobody important, just another fleck in the space-time continuum. I glared at the blasted clock and considered throwing it out the window.
When early afternoon rolled around, and I still hadn’t heard from Dr. Sadowsky, I called Emma again.
Compound 26 Page 25
