“And I’m Beth,” announced a shrewish brunette from the sofa; as if she were offended she weren’t introduced.
“Yeah, this is my wife, Beth,” Hank quickly chimed in.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Lilly,” I responded.
“Yeah. We know,” Beth snapped. I had no idea what Nancy was talking about, she seemed absolutely delightful.
Nancy fed us comically large portions of chicken and dumplings and went off to bed. She said she never was a night owl and would see us in the morning. I tried to make small talk with Beth while Hank and Cash talked about work. Cash bores me into a stupor when he talks about his job. I am not an outwardly social person, and am way outside of my comfort zone trying to talk to this woman. She has nothing to contribute to our conversation. She stays glued to her phone screen while I try to find some common ground. She is terrible. This is terrible. Someone please kill me. I interrupt Cash’s conversation with his brother.
“Hey I’m really, really tired. I kind of want to crash. What are sleeping arrangements?” I ask.
“Yeah, I think we’re going to call it a night, too,” Hank said.
“Oh, come on, I’ll show you to my old room,” Cash said. He grabbed my bag from where he’d left it in the foyer. I followed him up the stairs. His bedroom walls were covered in band posters, movie posters, and concert memorabilia. It was a typical teenage boy room. Like the typical teenage boy room, he had a twin size bed.
“How is that going to work?” I asked, gesturing towards the bed.
“We’re just going to have to cuddle,” he teased, “or I can sleep downstairs on the couch.”
“No, stay in here with me,” I begged. I dug through my suitcase and quickly changed into some frumpy pj’s. Cash stripped down to his boxers and jumped into the bed. I flipped off the lights and slid in next to him. His hands fumbled around me in the dark. He pulled my mouth into his.
“Nope. No. Stop. I was serious! I am not fucking you in your mom’s house! Hands to yourself,” I whispered, swatting his hands away.
“Why were you serious about that? It’s really okay. You know how many chicks I’ve banged in this bed?” he asked, sliding his hands up the back of my shirt.
“Gross. In what universe would that work. Now I’m just thinking about you banging other chicks. Maybe you should go sleep on the couch,” I suggested.
“I’m just saying. It’s not a big deal. Being this close to you gives me an instant boner, I can’t help it,” Cash whined, continuing to grope at me.
“No. There’s a house full of people. If you wanted to get lucky you should have sprung for us to stay in a hotel,” I teased. Cash laid back, defeated. I snuggled into his chest.
“This is nice. Cuddling is nice. Your dick will still be there when we get home,” I said.
“What if I am in a tragic penis accident? You’ll feel like shit for saying that,” he said.
“Compromise, I’ll suck you off if you promise not to come onto me the rest of the weekend,” I offered.
“Deal,” Cash replied, shifting in the bed. He guided my hand down beneath the covers to find him already exposed.
“I was fucking kidding. Dude. Seriously,” I groaned, pulling my hand away.
“Lilly, come on, you’re killing me. You just smell so good and you’re so warm,” Cash said, burrowing his face into my bosom.
“You’ll survive. Go to sleep,” I exclaimed, getting irritated.
“Fine, fine. I’m gonna tear that ass up when we get home,” Cash said through his teeth.
“Looking forward to it,” I promised. I was as turned on as he was. It was difficult for me to be inches away from him without my thoughts turning X-rated. But, being in this house that I’d never been in before, with people I didn’t know, made me extremely uncomfortable. I wonder if Hank is fucking his wife. Does that woman even enjoy sex? She looks like the kind of person who only uses sex as a bargaining chip, something she has to suffer through to get what she wants. She was extremely intolerable as a human being from what I had seen so far.
“Thanks for being here with me. I hope it’s not as bad as you’ve worked it up to be in your head,” Cash said, nuzzling my forehead. He’s got my anxiety down pat.
“No problem. I also hope it’s not as terrible as I’ve imagined it will be,” I tease.
“Well. Thanks either way. I love you,” he said, petting my hair.
“Go to sleep,” I whispered.
I fell asleep practically on top of Cash, as if there was any other way for two adults to sleep in a twin size bed.
I woke up before Cash and headed towards the kitchen for some water. Nancy was already in there, bustling around. The counters were overflowing with breakfast foods.
“Did you sleep well, sweetie?” she asked with a big, genuine smile. She had a kind face.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said.
“Are you hungry? I’ve got eggs, and bacon, biscuits and gravy, uh, fruit. Starting on some pancakes now!” she exclaimed.
“No, I mean, yeah, but I’ll wait for Cash. Do you need any help?” I asked.
“Don’t be silly. You’re my guest. Grab a plate, help yourself to whatever honey,” she gestured to the buffet spread out on the counters. I grabbed a glass instead and helped myself to some orange juice. I headed back upstairs to get dressed, and heard Cash and his brother arguing quietly in the hallway.
“No. Absolutely not,” Cash whisper screamed.
“Please man. Please. I’m begging you,” Hank urged.
“No. It is not negotiable. It’s just not going to fucking happen, I cannot do that. I’m sorry. You’ll have to just be happy with-“ Hank had spotted me peeking around the corner and tapped Cash on the shoulder, interrupting him.
“Morning Lilly! How’d you sleep?” Hank asked.
“Uh, fine. Your mom almost has breakfast ready,” I said; pushing past them, back to Cash’s room. Cash followed me.
“It’s Christmas Eve! Are you excited, Santa’s coming tonight,” he joked.
“What the fuck was that all about? Why’d you have to stop talking when I walked up?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just my brother being an idiot,” Cash replied. I could tell from his dismissive tone that was all that I was going to get. I grabbed my clothes and headed towards the bathroom. I took an uncomfortable shower. The knobs were temperamental, and the water could either be scalding hot or ice cold. There was no in between. I braided my hair down my back and met the family at the dining room table.
“Cash, get her a plate,” Nancy called across the table.
“I can, I can get my own plate. It’s okay,” I stuttered. Cash stood up anyway and dashed to the kitchen. He came back balancing a plate of food, a cup of coffee, and glass of orange juice. I took a seat and he sat it down in front of me. Beth rolled her eyes.
“So tell me how you guys met,” Nancy suggested.
“Well, uh. We’re neighbors. We just, uh, I don’t know. Hit it off,” I awkwardly replied.
“That’s so sweet,” Nancy began, “you see God puts people into your life that are supposed to be there. What are the odds of you two happening to move into the same place? It’s fate, it’s God.”
“Oh, I’m not sure that he has a whole lot to do with our-“ Cash kicked me under the table, “I mean, uh, yeah. I- totally. Yep,” I stammered.
“So is this going to be the one to give me grandbabies?” Nancy asked, taking a sip of coffee.
“Ma, Jesus Christ. We don’t even live together yet,” Cash groaned. I covered my face with my hand.
“You don’t say that in this house! You know better. Anyway, you’re my last hope! I don’t want to die without grandbabies. Your brother is already a lost cause. Beth is too old,” she explained.
“Excuse me? I’m only thirty-four. Women are having children well into their forties,” Beth chimed in.
“Yeah, mom, come on. You know she wants to finish school first, give her a break. We’re just trying to be smart about it,�
�� Hank defended.
“Well then she should have gone to school when she was supposed to go to school. Did you go to school Lilly?” Nancy asked, turning to me.
“Uh, yeah. Um. I have a bachelor’s degree-“
“See? Lilly’s not letting her eggs die so she can finish school, how old are you, Lilly?” Nancy interrupted.
“Twenty…twenty five…” I said nervously. Kill me. Kill me now.
“See, you should have went to school when you were younger instead of wasting time doing whatever you were doing,” Nancy shrugged.
“Well I’m sorry we can’t all be fucking perfect and live our lives according to your plan. My uterus isn’t really any of your business,” Beth spit. Hank let out a sigh.
“You don’t need to talk like that. It’s not right for a woman to talk like that,” Nancy scolded.
“You know what-“ Beth started. Hank interrupted her.
“So, bro… I am really looking forward to our hunting trip next month. You excited man?” he asked.
“You hunt?” I asked, “You never told me you hunt.”
“I don’t really, I don’t know, hunt, it’s more like getting drunk in a deer stand. We go to cabin for a few days a couple times a year,” he replied.
“They never catch anything,” Beth said.
“This year is going to be different. I can’t wait to bag some does man!” Hank says, excitedly.
“I thought the buck was what you wanted to kill,” I asked.
“No, no. The doe is juicy, and succulent,” Hank explains, licking his lips.
“Like I said, you never catch anything, if all you do is party in the woods, I don’t see why you never let me come,” Beth whined.
“It’s brotherly bonding time, no wives allowed,” Hank defended. Cash grabbed my hand under the table. Hank and Cash kept the conversation moving through the rest of the meal, much to the delight of absolutely everyone. We finished eating, and I helped Nancy with dishes.
“Is Cash going to show you around town while you’re here?” Nancy asked, handing me a frying pan to dry.
“I don’t really know what his plans are for the weekend,” I admitted. Getting out of the house sounds wonderful, but there doesn’t seem to be much to look at in this town. It was idyllic, post card Midwest. Not a shopping mall or worthwhile attraction in sight.
“How long are you staying?” she asked.
“I think we’re leaving Sunday. I have to be back at work Monday, I think he does too,” I responded.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here. It’s nice to see Cash happy. I’m glad he’s finally found himself a nice girl,” she said, warmly. I wonder what her relationship had been like with Madison. I wonder if she ever met Claire.
I walked back into the living room to find Cash and Hank watching television, drinking beer. Beth was typing furiously on her phone.
“It’s not even noon yet,” I scolded. Cash rolled his eyes.
“It’s Christmas. Time doesn’t exist on holiday vacation,” Hank insisted. Beth scoffed. We spent the day watching old Christmas movies and trying not to engage Beth, while Nancy bustled around us cleaning things that weren’t dirty and refusing any offers of help. I decide I want to give Cash his gift. I don’t want him to open it during the gift exchange tomorrow; I want it to be just us. That evening after dinner I pulled Cash aside.
“Hey, is there anywhere we can talk alone?” I asked.
“We can go up to my room,” Cash whispered.
“Anywhere with more adequate seating?” I teased.
“There’s a gas fireplace and porch swing out back. It’s enclosed,” Cash replied.
“Meet me out there in five minutes,” I said, standing and rushing up the stairs. I grabbed Cash’s gift from my suitcase, and opened the box to make sure it was still situated correctly. I bolted back down the stairs, and barely missed smacking face first into Hank as I skipped out the back door. That would have been awkward. I stepped onto the back porch to find Cash waiting on the swing.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I replied, “why does something have to be wrong?”
“I don’t know. You’re being weird. Are you going to tell me you want to go home? I know breakfast was painful. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to my mom,” he lamented.
“No, no. I mean. That was fucking awful. But, whatever. I just- I wanted to give you your Christmas present,” I said, presenting him with the tiny box. It wasn’t anything super awesome. It was an ornament. A bulb made to look like an antique globe. It said, “ashite imasu” over Japan, “iche liebe dich” over Germany, “je t’aime” over France. “I love you,” in delicate script over North America. I watch his expression as he takes the globe out of the box to look at all the interpretations emblazoned across the map. I start to feel a little stupid. I thought it would be this grand gesture, finally expressing how I feel, but now it just feels kind of corny. Cash looks at me, and smiles coyly.
“What does this mean?” he asked. Motherfucker was still going to make me say it.
“It is what it is it doesn’t mean anything. Do you like it?” I prodded.
“Yes. I love it. Thank you,” he replied, smiling.
“You’re welcome,” I said awkwardly.
“I love you, Lilly,” he purred.
“ I love you too,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek.
“Let’s go somewhere,” Cash suggested.
“Where?” I inquired.
“Somewhere we can talk without someone walking out on us,” he replied. That sounded ominous. I agreed. Cash went inside to let his family know we were taking off for a little bit, and I met him at the car. We drove out past the town and down a wooded back road. He pulled inside a covered bridge and put the car in park.
“You can’t just park in the middle of the road,” I cautioned.
“No one lives back here anymore. No one comes down this road,” he insisted. I shrugged and looked out the window. I wasn’t sure why we were here.
“Lilly,” Cash began, “move in with me.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely befuddled. I practically already lived with him. Most of my clothes were at his place because I was too lazy to drag them back to my apartment after using his washer and dryer. I showered there. I ate most of my meals there. I slept in his bed almost every night.
“Why not?” he challenged.
“Because,” I replied, “I would have to break my lease. What would I do with all my furniture that I just bought? I don’t want to pay for a storage unit either.”
“I’ll pay out your lease. And help you move your furniture to the dumpster. Where it belongs,” he responded.
“That’s ridiculous. I basically already live with you. Why does it have to be this formal thing,” I contested.
“What’s ridiculous is paying rent on two apartments just for yours to turn into some creepy hoarder nightmare because you’re never there and you never clean it. I bet if we went in there and kicked around some pizza boxes and Gatorade bottles we would find a mummified cat,” he teased.
“My lease is up in a couple months. I just don’t see the urgency,” I replied, ignoring his derogatory comment about my housekeeping skills.
“Maybe I just want to tie this down now that I know that you aren’t just tolerating me until something better comes along,” Cash said.
“Oh, come on. Theirs is no way you ever actually thought that,” I groaned.
“Maybe not. But, I don’t know. I want to cohabitate,” he mused.
“Fine,” I relented, “But you’re moving everything.”
“Say it again,” Cash prompted.
“Fine, but you’re mov-“
“Not that,” he interrupted, “tell me you love me.” I blushed and smiled like an idiot.
“I love you,” I whispered. Cash pulled me towards him and kissed me.
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” I breathed into his mouth. His kiss grew more urgent, hungry.
He was pulling me towards him, grasping to undo my seatbelt.
“Stop, stop. What are you doing? I’m not climbing over there. I don’t want a steering wheel up my ass,” I laughed.
“Let’s get in the back seat,” he suggested.
“No! You’re not supposed to be trying to get me to fuck this weekend,” I said sternly.
“I’m not trying to fuck you. I’m trying to make love to you. And I thought you just didn’t want to fuck in my mom’s house. This isn’t my mom’s house,” he countered.
“How the fuck we gonna ‘make love’ in the backseat of your car? Chill. I know we’re all fucking… emotional and shit right now. But let’s wait until we can be comfortable and give it our undivided attention,” I suggested.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. But, ‘fucking emotional and shit?’ You are a poet,” he teased.
“I know, I know. Let’s just… I don’t know. Is there anywhere to get a drink in this town?” I asked.
“It’s Christmas Eve, the bar is going to be a very depressing place, I imagine,” Cash laughed.
“Fuck it,” I sighed. Cash put the car in reverse and backed out of the bridge, heading back towards town. He parked in front of a sad little worn down bar with decades old beer advertisements and a flickering “Open” sign in the darkened window. We walked inside to find it bustling with life and movement. Commercial country poured out of the speakers as people twirled around the small dance floor. I don’t know what I was expecting. We sat at the bar and ordered our drinks. A busty blonde came and plopped down on Cash’s lap.
“Oh my goodness! I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. It’s fate. You coming home with me tonight?” she cooed. I burst out laughing as Cash nudged her off his lap.
“Uh. Absolutely fucking not,” he said, sipping his whiskey.
“Why? We had so much fun last time you were in town!” she insisted.
“Ha. You… you had fun. I had to go get antibiotics the next day, I’m pretty sure you gave me the clap,” he said, turning away from her.
“Oh, I’m so sorry about that. But hey at least it wasn’t one of the scary ones you can’t take medicine for,” she bleated. I bury my face in my hands to try to stifle my laughter.
Ricochet Page 11
