by Nicole Helm
Trevor closed the door and stood in front of it with his arms folded across his chest. “Chinese is not food. It’s disgusting slimy noodles and vegetables.”
“You asked where I wanted to go.”
“I get to veto.”
“That hardly seems fair.”
“Let’s skip dinner.” She was in his arms before she had a chance to react. “We’ll order in.”
Callie smiled against his lips. “Hunan Wok delivers.”
“That’s it. I’m taking you upstairs.” Despite her shocked screech, he swept his arms under her legs and carried her toward the stairs.
“You’re not seriously carrying me right now.”
“I seriously am. It’s a romantic gesture. Feel free to swoon.”
Callie held on to his neck, fought the flutters in her chest. “I’m not much of a swooner.” She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder as he huffed up the stairs. “But maybe this once.”
Chapter Twenty
Trevor sat on the couch staring at his Happy List. He’d added enough items to Pilot’s Point that it was now tied with Seattle. The additions weren’t even all about Callie, which was kind of surprising. He’d resorted to adding little things. Shelby’s cookies, Friday lunches at AIF, Evan’s incessant questions on how many guys he’d shot.
He just needed one more happy item to tip things the way he wanted.
Which was idiotic when he really thought about it. If he wanted to stay, why didn’t he just stay? What did this damn list matter in the grand scheme of things?
It would matter to Callie. She’d been bringing up September more and more each day. Over the past week he was pretty sure he’d heard the word September about a hundred times.
Almost as many times as he’d heard Callie complain about Em. He didn’t know how the two were related, but there was a correlation.
Em and Callie were in some kind of fight that had been escalating with every day, and as much as Callie tried to pretend she was unaffected by it, she had been sullen and broody.
Trevor stared at the list. He had to stay. Even if the list didn’t reflect it, a life without Callie, a life without AIF, a life different than the one he’d been leading for the past few weeks made Seattle or the FBI anywhere pale in comparison.
He was needed in Pilot’s Point. Callie needed someone to calm her down when she flew off the handle. Even with Lawson and the boys back, AIF needed an occasional hand. Shelby needed him to be in a place she could call home.
He always thought being needed felt like being choked, but it didn’t. Not when the people who needed him just wanted him to be Trevor. Not better or smarter or more successful. Exactly as he already was.
As much as it made him feel guilty, with his parents gone, Pilot’s Point didn’t demand any more of him than that.
The doorbell rang and Trevor folded up the list and put it in his pocket. He’d find that one last thing for the list. Maybe a few more for good measure, and then he’d tell Callie he was staying for good and he’d find a way to convince her he wasn’t going to leave.
When Trevor opened the door, Callie looked more sullen and broody than she had all week. That was a scary thing.
Trevor tried out a dazzling smile. “Hi, gorgeous.”
She rolled her eyes and pushed past him. “Make me vomit, why don’t you?”
So much for compliments. He should have known better. “I see you’re just as cheery as you’ve been all week.”
She shot him a killing look over her shoulder. “I’m fine.”
“Yeah, fantastic.” Trevor closed the door and followed her inside. “You want to go catch the movie or you want to stay here and tell me what crawled up your ass? It is your turn to choose, remember?”
Callie turned to face him, arms across her chest, lips in a firm, angry line. He hadn’t seen her like this in a while. In fact, it was a look he associated more with old Callie.
She opened her mouth, shut it, and frowned. “I don’t know who she thinks she is,” Callie muttered, sinking into the couch.
Ah, so they were going to talk about Em. Trevor hoped Callie was going to vent about the real issue so she would get it out of her system and finally talk to Em about whatever it was they were arguing over.
“Telling me what I think or feel. Pretty sure I’m the only resident of my brain.” Callie hopped up and stalked the length of floor in front of the couch, back and forth.
In between her pacing, Trevor moved onto the couch and made himself comfortable. He had a feeling this was going to take a while.
“Like she has any room to talk about this stuff.” Callie kicked at the floor. She paced, she stopped, she paced again. “She’s still pining after Luke and it’s been seven fucking years. She is not the world’s expert on relationships.” Her voice got louder with each word like she was hoping Em could hear them all the way back at the cabin.
“I really don’t think this is about Luke.” Not that he had any earthly clue what it was about, but he liked the word relationship peppered in there. Progress.
Callie crossed arms over her chest, blew a breath out that fluttered her bangs. “She says I’m reverting.”
“Reverting?”
“Yeah, walls up and all that other bullshit.” She threw her hands up into the air and then pointed a finger at him. “I am not reverting.”
He held up his hands. “On any other occasion I might be inclined to agree with you, but this, uh, outburst is a little old school Callie.”
She scowled at him. “You want to be on my fight list too?”
He reached out and took her hand, pulled her closer to the couch. “No. I want you to be happy.”
She sighed and let herself be led until she folded next to him. He moved his arms around her and she didn’t fight him. He tried not to grin. Em was wrong. Callie wasn’t reverting. She was giving in. Inch by little inch. A reverting Callie never would have leaned into him, never would have accepted comfort. Hell, she wouldn’t have told him what she and Em were fighting about.
Things were going exactly right. Callie was softening, leaning on him. He was winning, just by being there. Pretty soon, he’d tell her he was staying and she wouldn’t freak out.
He just had to find a way to help her overcome those last little pockets of fear.
“You want to go back and work things out with Em?”
She pushed him away. “I do not have anything to work out with her.” Callie shot to her feet. “Let’s go. You were going to buy me popcorn at the movie, remember?”
Trevor pushed himself off the couch, Callie already at the door. So much for getting lucky tonight.
By the end of the movie and a walk around town, Callie had calmed down and eased up a little. She wasn’t totally present, but she wasn’t brooding every second either. Trevor would have to give himself a pat on the back.
They pulled into the Steele driveway a few hours later and Callie looked almost peaceful.
“The lights are off. Shelby must not be home yet.” Trevor glanced at the clock on the dash. “And an hour before curfew. You know what that means?”
Callie rolled her eyes, but her lips curved upward. “Well, considering you have a very one-track mind these days, I have a pretty good idea of what you’re getting at.” Though her tone was disdainful, she stepped out of the car.
Trevor hurried to get out himself. When he met up with her on the walk, he slipped an arm around her shoulders. “You’re coming in?”
“Certainly don’t want to go home,” she muttered.
Trevor stifled a sigh. “You two really need to make up. Sulky Callie is not my favorite version of you.” Trevor shoved his key into the lock, but when Callie didn’t say anything he turned back before opening the door.
She had stopped on the porch and was pouting up at him. Though he knew it would make her mad, he couldn’t fight a smile. He brushed his thumb across her protruding bottom lip. “Although the pout is pretty cute.”
Her lips flattened into
a scowl. “Maybe I do want to go home.”
He slid his arms around her waist, pulled her to him. “Don’t do that.” His lips brushed hers, once and then a few more times until the scowl softened and she relaxed in his arms.
It should have been getting old, all the feelings rushing inside of him. But nothing had dulled since the first time. Everything stayed at that same, scorching intensity. Maybe it had only been a few weeks, but he couldn’t imagine this ever getting old.
“What if Shelby comes home?” Callie’s words fluttered against his neck as her lips trailed across the line of his jaw.
“We’ll be upstairs in my room with the door locked. And we’ll be very, very quiet. If you think you can manage it.” He groped behind him to open the door, his other hand running over the curve of her ass.
As the door opened, he was distracted by the fact that despite the darkness, the TV was on. He flipped the lights on and two figures popped up into a sitting position on the couch.
It only took a second and a glimpse of rumpled clothes to realize what had been happening.
“What the hell is going on here?” Trevor demanded, getting a déjà vu flash of his dad yelling the exact same thing when Trevor had been in a very similar situation. The reminder of his dad didn’t ease any of the anger coursing through his veins, making his hands clench into fists as he detangled himself from Callie.
“You said you wouldn’t be home for another hour,” Shelby squeaked, trying to fix her shirt without calling attention to it. Dan’s face had paled considerably, but he wasn’t piping up with any kind of explanation.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Trevor realized he’d seriously neglected his basic guardian duties by thinking Dan was harmless. No teenage boy was harmless. Not with his sister who, knowing Mom, probably didn’t even know what a condom was let alone that she should use one.
God knows he’d only known because Dad had thrown a box of condoms on his bed and said, “Use these.”
Shelby’s guilty surprise morphed into irritation quickly. “It’s none of your business what we were doing.”
“Are you out of your fucking—”
“Trev, come on.” Callie tugged on his hand. “Leave them alone.”
“Like hell.” Trevor jerked his arm away, but Callie clamped back on a lot stronger the second time. This time when she tugged on his arm, he couldn’t fight her off.
She had him halfway out the door before he realized what was happening.
“Dan, you better disappear. Got it?” he yelled, still trying to pull away from Callie’s strong pull. Damn it, how the hell was she so strong?
“Don’t you dare turn those lights back—” Before he could finish, Callie had him outside. She gave him a hard push and he stumbled backward before she slammed the door and blocked it with her body so he couldn’t get in.
“What the hell? Did you see what they were doing?”
Callie’s head tipped to one side in disdain. “They were just making out.”
“How do you know that’s all they were doing?” he demanded. “On my mother’s couch!”
She shrugged. “Their pants were still on. Mostly.”
“Jesus. What am I supposed to do? If Mom and Dad were here, she’d be dead.”
Callie’s face softened, but she didn’t let him move any closer to the door. “But you’re not your mom or your dad and she is eighteen. It’s kind of hypocritical to go in there and tell her she can’t be making out with her boyfriend when you would have been doing the same thing at her age. And you were trying to do the exact same thing before you opened that door.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I don’t give a damn if it’s hypocritical. I’m responsible for her, and if she gets herself… Look, I don’t know what kind of stuff Mom talked to her about. What if she doesn’t know about…” Trevor grimaced. He couldn’t force out the words.
“She’s smart. I don’t think you need to worry about it. And Dan, the guy is harmless.”
“Yeah, your cousin wasn’t exactly a Romeo bad ass when he got a girl knocked up at sixteen.” He wanted to kick something, punch something. Preferably Dan, square in the thick, black glasses.
“You have to trust Shelby. She’ll be at college in a week. That means no big brothers barging in on her make out session.”
“Gee, thanks for that thought.” He shoved fingers through his hair as his stomach pitched. “You have to talk to her.” It was a desperate plea.
Her practiced calm disappeared into wide-eyed shock. “I have to what?”
“You’re a woman. You can talk about all that girl stuff. Birth control and self-respect and…” Trevor shuddered. “Whatever it is girls need to hear before they go around letting guys talk them into this sort of thing.”
“Get a grip, Trevor.”
“You have to do this for me. I can’t do it. Knowing Mom she just told Shelby not to have…” He could say the word. Sure he could. “S-sex until she was married. And Dan’s dad isn’t around. Who knows what that kid knows.”
“They’re not Amish. I think they probably have a pretty good idea about birth control.”
“If something happens, I’m responsible for it. Me. I don’t get to pawn it off on Mom or Dad. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let her make some kind of mistake.”
Callie stepped toward him, patted his cheek. “Honey, you’ve lost it. Seriously.”
“You have to talk to her.” He grabbed her hands, desperately hopeful. He couldn’t do this alone.
“Trev, I love you and all, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to talk to your sister about sex.”
Every angry thought flew out of his head. Every thought about Dan, Shelby, and his parents vanished. It all melted away as the words entered and rattled around in his brain. “What did you say?”
She shook her head, looking stricken as she dropped his hands. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s not?”
“No, it’s a saying. It wasn’t… I wasn’t… I don’t…” She took a step away from him.
“Say it again, Callie.” For every step she took away, he matched it with two toward her.
“You are crazy.” She swallowed, looked around the front yard. “I do not… love you, Trevor.” But she didn’t look at him when she said it, and that had him smiling wider.
“Your sister is in there right now probably having sex.” She pointed at the house, a last ditch effort to throw him off. Except, he didn’t care at the moment. This trumped everything else.
“Say it again.”
“I do not love you.”
All that panic, if only he could find the source of it, the real reasons behind it. Then he might be able to get through to her. Because she did love him. He knew she did.
She had run out of space, so he had her trapped against the front door. Trevor reached out and touched her cheek. “Yeah, I do not love you either.” When he pressed his mouth to hers, gently, sweetly, she didn’t kiss him back at first.
Eventually she acquiesced and her arms came around his neck. Yeah, she loved him. He just had to find a way to make her really admit it.
“What about Shelby?” she murmured against his lips.
Trevor sighed and leaned his forehead to hers. For a long, humming moment he simply looked at Callie. Really looked at her. She was everything he wanted. If only he could get rid of her fear.
“I guess maybe I overreacted. A little. But she could have done it in a more private place.”
“All those teenage hormones don’t always allow you to think. Sometimes you do things you shouldn’t.”
Even though she was talking about teenage hormones, Trevor wondered if she was talking about Shelby and Dan.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Give them some time to cool off. Then you go in and apologize. To both of them.”
Trevor grimaced. He’d almost rather give Shelby a lecture about safe sex. “You sure you won’t talk to her?”
&
nbsp; “Positive. You really don’t want to do it, throw some condoms in her room or something.”
That sounded all too familiar. “I’m going to be sick.”
“She’s leaving soon. You don’t have much of a choice if you’re really this worried about it.”
He moved onto the bench on the porch and sank onto it. “I officially hate this.” It wasn’t so bad when he could make jokes to Dan about his guns or argue with Shelby about curfews, but this big stuff? He was lost in it. A floundering idiot. A floundering idiot who missed his parents’ guidance.
Callie sat next to him, but toward the edge so there was a space between them. “It sucks. But, that’s life.”
“That’s the best you can do?” Even though it wasn’t comforting, having her there was. How could he articulate that on to a list?
She smiled. “Sorry, pep talks aren’t my specialty.” She was quiet for a moment, then looked over at him. “Speaking of Shelby leaving. You haven’t mentioned whether you’re going back to Seattle or if you applied for a transfer.”
Trevor shrugged. “Still thinking about it.” Now wasn’t the time to tell her he was staying. She was too unsure, unsteady. He still had some work to do. Call his boss in Seattle, call Sheriff Burns and see if he could get his old job back. Settle things before he told her, then she would know and understand he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Don’t you think you should make a decision? I’d think a transfer would take time if that’s what you decided on.”
Trevor looked at her, couldn’t read all the emotions ranging across her face. There were too many and they were too complex to figure out. He took her hand in his, brushed his thumb across her knuckles. Maybe now wasn’t such a bad time to tell her. Maybe in the midst of all this chaos would be the perfect moment to try and create an anchor.
“Callie—”
Dan burst out the door, Shelby on his heels.
“You don’t have to go!”
“Bye, Shel. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Dan scurried away without looking anywhere near Trevor.
