Night on Terror Island

by Philip Caveney

  Mr Lazarus was peering through the hatch at the cinema screen. He could see that Rose and her companions were moving cautiously through the dark building, guiding their way with a brilliant torch beam. He was just thinking of phoning Kip to advise him of this, when he heard the familiar whooshing sound that told him somebody was about to emerge from the film. Clearly Kip and Beth had run into trouble of some kind and had decided to make their escape. But they hadn’t got Rose because she was still up there on the screen.

  Mr Lazarus sighed. Now he would have to send them in again, but the problem was they were running out of time, the film was already at the halfway point. The projection room filled with an intense white light and something materialised on the wooden platform, which slid smoothly forward to the end of its track. Mr Lazarus stared in dismay at the creature that was sitting cross-legged on the platform. It certainly wasn’t Kip, or anyone else he recognised.

  The Neanderthal looked understandably baffled. He sat there, staring blankly around, his limited brain trying to work out what had happened to him. His long greasy hair framed a face that looked brutish and terrifying. His lower jaw seemed to extend further than his upper one and a series of broken yellow teeth stuck out from his mouth. He smelled even worse than he looked, like something that had been left lying in stagnant water for a very long time. The creature seemed to become aware of Mr Lazarus’s presence. He made a threatening growl deep in his throat and began to clamber to his feet.

  Mr Lazarus told himself not to panic. The obvious thing to do would be to push the platform straight back into the light, but to do this now would place the Neanderthal in the building where Rose and the others were currently searching through the rooms. The last thing Rose needed was this terrifying creature landing right beside her; and besides, it was necessary to get the Receiver out of the Neanderthal’s grasp before he did anything else. A creature so powerful could easily crush the delicate contraption and then there would be no way for Kip and the others to get out.

  What to do? What to do?

  Mr Lazarus had an idea. He reached a hand out to the sound system, which he used to play music in the intervals, knowing that a CD of Italian opera was already lined up ready to go. He punched the PLAY button and cranked up the volume. He realised that the music would intrude on the film but for the moment, there was nothing he could do about that. The sound of Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma filled the room and the Neanderthal froze in his tracks, staring around, trying to identify the source of the sound. For the moment he had forgotten all about Mr Lazarus. His mouth opened and he gave a kind of sigh.

  ‘Ah, so you like opera, do you?’ murmured Mr Lazarus. ‘Good.’

  He kept the music playing, telling himself that he had only one chance to get this right. It was an idea born out of desperation and he wouldn’t normally have tried something like this for a million pounds … but he really couldn’t think of anything else to do. He reached out a hand to the projector and stopped the film.

  One moment Kip was running for his life, as once again the tiger closed in on him and Beth. The next he was frozen, still in a running position, poised on his left leg. It was an alarming feeling. He wanted to turn his head to see how Beth was doing, but he could not move a muscle. And then, suddenly, horribly, he was running backwards at high speed, zooming back along the jungle trail. When he did manage to glance behind him, he could see Beth, a look of astonishment on her face as she sped down the trail in reverse. Just behind her, the sabre-toothed tiger was running backwards too and because it was so much faster than its prey, the gap between them was lengthening by the moment. Each time Kip glanced back, the tiger was further and further away until it had actually vanished from sight down the trail.

  Kip tried to think what could be happening but even his thoughts were going in reverse, a hideous jumble of confusion and it was the strangest, most unpleasant feeling he had ever had in his life. Luckily it didn’t last long. Quite suddenly, he was slowing to a backwards walk and after a few moments, he came to an abrupt standstill. There was a brief pause and then he was walking forward once more, at a normal speed. Thankfully his thoughts came back to him and he could at least understand them. And then there was a sudden noise.

  ‘What was that?’ asked Kip quietly. They had both heard it – the sound of vegetation stirring as though something large and heavy was moving through it.

  ‘Probably some kind of jungle animal,’ said Beth.

  ‘Such as?’ asked Kip.

  ‘Er … well, it depends which country the island’s in. It’s a rainforest, so it could be a tapir, or a jaguar …’

  They stared at each other. They had just simultaneously had the sensation of déjà vu – the feeling that they’d done and said this before – and what’s more, not so very long ago.

  ‘That’s it,’ said Kip. ‘This isn’t working out. I’m going to use the Retriever.’

  ‘Good idea,’ said Beth. ‘Better make it snappy. If I remember correctly, there’s something coming down the trail after us.’

  ‘A sabre-toothed tiger!’ said Kip, remembering.

  ‘Oh God, hurry up!’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Kip. ‘We’re out of here.’ He reached instinctively to his chest. ‘We’ll get Mr Lazarus to sort something out and send us back in at a safer—’ He broke off as a dull sense of shock ran through him. ‘Oh no,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ Beth glared at him. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘The Retriever. I’ve lost it.’

  ‘You can’t have!’ protested Beth.

  ‘I have, though,’ wailed Kip. ‘I … I seem to remember losing it before … There was somebody further along the trail and—’

  A distant rumbling growl seemed to shake the ground beneath their feet. They looked at each other.

  ‘Leg it!’ yelled Kip and he didn’t have to ask twice. Beth had remembered what came next. They both knew that they needed as much of a head start as they could get. They took off just as fast as their legs would carry them.

  The Communicator started flashing. Kip pressed the button without even breaking stride.

  ‘Mr Lazarus!’ he yelled. ‘I’ve lost the Retriever!’

  ‘Yes, dear boy, I know,’ said a voice in his ear. ‘But please don’t worry, it’s back here with me.’

  ‘But … how did that happen?’

  ‘All I know is that a Neanderthal must have taken it from you … and I suppose that it must have happened somewhere between where you are now and the building where Rose is.’

  ‘How do you know it was a Neanderthal?’

  ‘Ah, that’s a simple deduction. He’s here with me too.’

  For a moment Kip was speechless. ‘Mr Lazarus, are you saying there’s a Neanderthal in the Paramount?’

  ‘Yes, I’m afraid so. Rather inconvenient actually. But don’t worry, it’s only a temporary arrangement. For the moment I’m distracting him with opera.’

  Kip looked back at Beth.

  ‘There’s a Neanderthal in the Paramount!’ he shouted. ‘Mr Lazarus is playing him some opera.’

  ‘Oh, that’s nice,’ yelled Beth. ‘And has he made him a cup of tea and some cucumber sandwiches?’

  Kip ignored that one. He lifted the Communicator again.

  ‘Everything’s going mental here,’ shouted Kip. ‘We’ve been running backwards.’

  ‘Ah yes, that was me rewinding the film. Very unpredictable, I hate doing it but it was the only thing I could think of.’

  ‘Well, thank God you did. We were about to be eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger!’

  ‘Really? That sounds most unpleasant. Listen, you are all out of breath. Can’t you slow down a moment?’

  ‘No we can’t! It’ll be coming after us again at any second and it’s way faster than we are.’

  Beth was glancing nervously over her shoulder down the trail. ‘I think I see it coming,’ she yelled. ‘Kip, we’ve got to do something!’

  ‘Kip, listen to me!’ Mr Lazarus had an urge
nt tone to his voice. ‘I don’t know how long I can keep the caveman’s attention. He looks dangerous.’

  ‘Not as dangerous as this tiger. Can’t you see it?’

  ‘I can’t see you, remember. I’m further on in the film, watching Rose and her companions. I’m assuming you’re still back somewhere on the trail?’

  ‘Yes we are!’

  ‘Well, I need to send this caveman back into the film. Now, don’t panic. I’m going to fast-forward you for a moment.’

  ‘What?’ Kip was horrified. ‘Don’t do that. The tiger will catch up with us even quicker!’

  ‘It’ll be all right, trust me. I can’t risk putting the caveman into the building where Rose is. Or at least where she will be in a few moments, if you catch my drift. I’m going to try and time it so he comes back into events after they’ve gone inside.’

  ‘Oh, but you’re perfectly happy to just dump him on us!’

  ‘There’s a long panning shot of the jungle just before Rose and her companions reach the building, I’m going to try and drop him in there. That should give her time to get back inside.’

  ‘I don’t understand …’

  ‘Don’t worry. You just need to be aware that the caveman will be arriving somewhere near the top of the trail and whatever you do, you mustn’t run into him. Keep the Communicator on and I’ll warn you when he’s coming.’

  ‘Wait, wait, what about the Retriever?’

  ‘Ah yes. Well, I’ll have to send that in later, to a safe place. Assuming I can get it away from the Neanderthal; he seems rather attached to it.’

  ‘He seems what?’

  ‘Never mind, I’ll tell you where it’s going to be once I’ve sent it in. Now, what is it they used to say on all the best fairground rides? Oh yes. Scream if you want to go faster!’

  ‘But wait, we—’

  ‘No time, Kip. I’m hitting the button now!’

  Kip’s mouth was open to ask another question but then, with a horrible lurching sensation deep in the pit of his stomach, he found himself whizzing along the jungle trail at an insane speed, trying desperately to avoid crashing into bushes and overhanging foliage. He risked glancing back once to see that Beth was right behind him, her astonished expression telling him that she was feeling just as confused as he was. And now, right on cue, the tiger appeared on the trail behind them, closing the space at incredible speed.

  ‘Don’t worry!’ he shrieked and his speeded-up voice made him sound like somebody who had been inhaling helium from a party balloon. ‘I think Mr Lazarus knows what he’s doing!’

  ‘God I hope so,’ shrieked Beth, glancing back down the trail at the huge pair of slavering jaws that were gaining on her by the second.

  Mr Lazarus hoped he was doing the right thing. It was risky, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything else that might work. He still had his Communicator pressed to one ear, from which issued the sounds of frantic, speeded-up motion, feet crashing through dense undergrowth and the occasional high-pitched roar. The caveman was now swaying from side to side on the wooden platform, seemingly entranced by the music, which was still blasting from the speakers. The Retriever dangled by its chain from one of his hands, totally forgotten.

  Mr Lazarus edged carefully closer and reached out his free hand for it. At the last moment, the caveman seemed to remember that he was not alone. His ugly face contorted into an expression of rage and his eyes blazed with feral anger.

  ‘Now, now, don’t be a difficult Neanderthal!’ Mr Lazarus told him. ‘I’m going to send you on a little trip. I’m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you?’

  Mr Lazarus glanced through the hatch at the screen, waiting for the right moment. Then he saw the start of the long panning shot. Perfect.

  ‘Time to go!’ he yelled.

  The Neanderthal grunted and gave him a questioning look.

  In the same instant Mr Lazarus grabbed the Retriever, wrenched it out of the Nenaderthal’s grasp and placed one foot against the edge of the platform. Then he pushed with all his strength, sending it gliding back into the light.

  ‘One large angry Neanderthal coming in!’ he yelled.

  The caveman gave a despairing bellow of baffled rage and then his huge body began to shimmer and dissolve. An instant later, he was gone.

  Kip heard Mr Lazarus’s voice shouting its warning and he tried to be on his guard – but it wasn’t easy racing through the jungle at a hundred miles an hour with a hungry tiger in hot pursuit.

  For the moment nothing happened, but he reminded himself that Mr Lazarus was further on in the film. The Neanderthal would most likely appear somewhere along the track. He glanced briefly back and there was the tiger, gaining on him and Beth by the second, his mouth open in a ferocious snarl and those hideous, oversized teeth glittering in the moonlight.

  Luckily Kip’s thoughts seemed as speeded up as his actions and, when he caught a glimpse of a heavy fallen branch at the side of the track, he managed to snatch it up without slowing his pace. He ran grimly on, steeling himself, and then he saw something materialising on the track ahead of him: a great big ugly creature with a hideous face. At the same instant there was that odd feeling of déjà vu again, but there was no time to think about that, because he knew he had to get past the Neanderthal – at all costs.

  As he ran, he lifted the tree branch in both hands. The Neanderthal was moving relatively slowly compared to Kip and he began to turn to face the oncoming runners, an expression of dull surprise on his brutish features. As the gap closed between them, Kip swung the branch at the Neanderthal’s head and it connected with a force that would have felled an ordinary person. As it was, the creature gave a grunt of surprise and reeled back a couple of steps, enough to allow the two frantic runners to whiz by him. He recovered himself in an instant and stumbled back to the track with a bellow of rage, only to find himself stepping right into the path of a very hungry tiger.

  Behind him Kip heard a stomach-churning shriek and then a heavy impact as the Neanderthal was knocked backwards into the undergrowth. Then there was what sounded like a pitched battle between tiger and Neanderthal. Kip kept right on running, not daring to look back.

  For a few minutes, Kip and Beth continued to race along but then with another lurch they slowed back to normal speed. They were still running, but compared to their previous speed, it seemed as if they were just creeping along.

  A few moments later, the jungle trail began to widen out and they were able to slow to a trot and then to a walk, glancing back as they did so to ensure that nothing was close enough to give them any trouble. At last they dared to come to a halt. They stood there, panting as they tried to get their breathing back to normal.

  Beth was the first to speak.

  ‘That was … mental,’ she said.

  Kip nodded, but for the moment, he couldn’t find words.

  ‘What was that about a Neanderthal at the Paramount?’ gasped Beth.

  ‘Oh no, he’s back in the film now,’ Kip assured her. ‘That was the one I … clouted with the stick.’ He pointed back down the trail. ‘The one who just ended up as dinner for a sabre-toothed tiger.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t help feeling a bit bad about that. He stepped right out in front of it.’

  ‘Never mind about him,’ snapped Beth. ‘Just be grateful it wasn’t us. Now, tell me how we’re going to get home without the Retriever.’

  ‘We can’t.’

  ‘Oh perfect. So that means we’re stuck here?’

  ‘No, don’t worry, Mr Lazarus is going to send the Retriever back into the film, once he finds somewhere safe to leave it.’

  ‘Oh really?’ Beth seemed amused by this idea. ‘And where would that be exactly?’ It was clear from the tone of her voice that she was starting to get very annoyed.

  ‘Maybe there,’ said Kip pointing. Up ahead of them, stark and grey in the moonlight, stood a dilapidated, three-storey building. ‘This must be the place Mr Lazarus mentioned,’ he added, starting forward.
r />   ‘It looks pretty scary,’ said Beth. ‘There could be all kinds of things hanging around in the shadows.’

  ‘Can’t help that,’ Kip told her. ‘I’m pretty sure that’s where Rose is, so that’s where we’re going.’

  Beth sighed. ‘It just keeps getting better,’ she said.

  ‘Look, I didn’t want you to come here in the first place,’ Kip told her. ‘You insisted on tagging along.’

  ‘Yes, but I didn’t know you were going to lose the Retriever, did I?’

  ‘I didn’t lose it. It was taken from me; there’s a difference.’

  ‘You should have been more careful.’

  ‘Beth, a dirty great Neanderthal pulled it from around my neck. What was I supposed to do, ask him for it back?’

  ‘Well no, obviously, but couldn’t you have grabbed it as we ran past?’

  ‘How could I? He didn’t have it any more. It’s back with Mr Lazarus at the Paramount.’

  ‘This is so confusing,’ said Beth.

  ‘Well there’s no point in arguing about it now,’ said Kip. ‘Come on, we need to check this place out.’

  They approached the shattered metal gates.

  ‘What do you make of it?’ asked Kip.

  Beth frowned. ‘In films like this, they usually turn out to be top-secret research centres run by the US military,’ she said. She noticed the sign above the open door and pointed to it. ‘Bingo.’

  ‘Looks like the fence used to be electrified,’ observed Kip. ‘But that gate’s been hit by something big and powerful.’

  ‘Probably a dinosaur,’ said Beth. ‘Like in Jurassic Park.’

  ‘Wrong era,’ said Kip. ‘You don’t get Neanderthals and dinosaurs around at the same time.’

  ‘Tell that to the people who made One Million Years BC,’ said Beth. ‘If you’re expecting this film to be historically accurate, think again.’

  They went in through the smashed gates and approached the building, gazing apprehensively up at the barred windows and sheer walls.

  ‘You really think we should go in there?’ muttered Beth.

  ‘We have to. I’m sure Rose is in there.’