by Skye Jordan
“Mmm-hmm. It’s tight, but I manage. I don’t need much.”
No, she certainly didn’t need much. She demanded even less. “Do you miss it? The money, the comfort? I didn’t go to college, barely made it out of high school, but this doesn’t seem comfortable or safe or conducive to studying. Or even life, for that matter. It’s not like you could exactly hang with friends here.”
“Depends on the friends.” She lifted her face to his again, and a smile curled her lips. “You’re here.”
He laughed. “Good point.”
She stroked her thumb across his jaw. “I prefer this sparse, autonomous life to luxuries that come with a price tag in the form of emotional blackmail. And no, I don’t miss material things. Those equate to confinement at best, imprisonment at worst. Material things don’t hold any more importance to me than title or fame or money.” She shot him a grin. “Sorry, hotshot. I’m pretty crazy about you for you. And, come to think of it, in spite of all your trappings.”
The thrill that cut through Beckett shocked him. He pulled her closer, lifted her chin, and covered her mouth with his. She opened to him, kissing him with a hunger that mirrored the one stirring in his body again.
Beckett pulled away with a groan. “What I would give for a few uninterrupted days with you.”
She thought that was funny. “That’s so far out of my realm of reality, I don’t even know what that would look like. I like to think I’d be able to take some time off after school, between jobs, but that’s probably not realistic.”
“You’re not staying at Capital Ambulance?”
“They don’t offer advanced life support. They’re a basic haul-and-drop outfit. As a paramedic, my base rate will double what I make now.”
“So, where will you work?”
“I can either work for another ambulance company that employs paramedics or get onto a paramedic rig with a fire department. I’ll stay at Capital until I find a paramedic job, but the good ones aren’t all that common. I don’t want to work for a transporter, where all I do is move people from one place to another. I want a job where I’m working directly with people who need the help.”
“The front lines.”
“Exactly.”
He chuckled. “You’ve got a little adrenaline junkie in you.”
“I guess I never thought about it that way.”
“I live it, so I recognize the signs of illness.”
She grinned. “I’m nowhere near as sick as you.”
That made him laugh. “Truth. I’m terminal.”
“No, two years on DC’s streets has given me enough of the holy-shit factor. I wouldn’t mind a slower pace. Somewhere I actually get a few hours sleep during a shift.”
“Metro is so heavily populated. Where are you gonna find that?”
She didn’t respond immediately. “Actually, I’m so busy putting one foot in front of the other, I hadn’t looked that far ahead.”
Her voice was thoughtful, as if she was realizing how her job location could very well interfere with this thing they were starting. For Beckett, it was a huge concern. Partially for him, sure. He didn’t want to finally find a woman he could fall in love with only to have her move away and make a relationship even more difficult. But more so for Lily. And if Beckett didn’t feel comfortable introducing Eden to Lily, how could this thing really be a thing?
“I’m also thinking about continuing on with school,” she said, softly, as if these ideas were all gelling now that they’d brought them up.
“For what?” he asked.
She shrugged and looked away, and even before she spoke again, he knew she was going to play this dream down. “I’ve thought about going further in medicine. Maybe becoming a physician’s assistant. My instructors have been trying to sell me on going on to get my bachelor’s with the thought of going on to medical school, but that’s…” She shook her head. “Unfathomable, honestly.” She laughed, brushing the whole topic off with “See why I don’t think ahead? It gets messy.”
Sure as hell did. Yet after a year of working to instill self-confidence in Lily and encouraging her to dream big, he sure as shit wasn’t going to sit here and tell Eden any different.
He tipped her head back, lifting her gaze to his. “Nothing’s unfathomable. Especially not for a woman with your intelligence and grit. Go where your heart leads you. We only live once, right?”
The shift in her eyes mirrored the movement in his heart. She had the craziest way of tempting him toward those three words he’d never said to a woman. Often believed he’d never find a woman he wanted to say them to.
Eden pressed a kiss to his lips, then rested her forehead against his. “I better get dressed.”
When she pulled away, he added a quick “Can I drop you at school?”
She laughed. “You’re adorable. Hopkins is in Baltimore, handsome.”
“Oh, right.” An hour’s drive one way. He’d never make it back to pick up Lily.
“But you can drop me at Union Station. I jump the Acela at two. Gets me to class right on time.”
He forced a smile, even though he was pretty sure they were parting again with nothing more concrete between them than when he’d been standing in front of the ambulance company this morning. “Deal.”
Beckett was weaving his way through downtown DC toward his mother’s house when his cell rang through the car’s intercom system. Kim’s name lit up the dash.
“Shit.” He drew out the word with dread, decided he couldn’t avoid her any longer, and pressed the button on his steering wheel to answer. “Hey, Kim. What’s up?”
“Well, finally,” she said, her voice carrying attitude. “I’m in town, and I’d like to meet.”
He made one of those I-don’t-know-how-I-can-fit-that-in sounds. “This is a crazy week—”
“It’s about Lily.”
She knew what button to push with him, and it pissed him off.
“She’s fine, thanks for asking,” he said, still upbeat. “Great, actually. Listen, is this something we can discuss on the phone? Because—”
“It’s about the custody hearing. So, no, I think it would be better to do it face-to-face. I’m in the city now.” She named a coffee shop. “Or I can grab a taxi and meet you somewhere else.”
She was only six blocks away. He might as well get this over with. “No, that’s fine. I’ll be there in fifteen.”
Beckett disconnected and changed directions. On the drive, he considered approaches and tactics to use with Kim. He tried to call Fred, but his attorney was in a meeting. By the time he’d parked, all the happiness and relaxation Eden had created was gone.
He opened the center console and pulled out the school pictures Lily had brought home a few days before. After pulling the order sheet so he could buy more for his family, he headed inside.
Kim sat near the window, legs crossed, foot swinging restlessly. When the door closed behind him, she looked over and smiled. Sitting forward, she clasped her hands gingerly beneath her chin and kept her eyes on him as he approached.
He remembered why he’d found her attractive all those years ago. For starters, she was a beautiful brown-eyed brunette Barbie. She also made a guy feel like he was the only man on the planet, the way she was doing with Beckett now, never letting her gaze waver from him for a millisecond. Back then, she’d had a whimsical country-fresh girl quality with hemp bracelets, holey jeans, and white gauze blouses. Now, she’d graduated to the sophisticated hot-chick zone, decked out in designer jeans painted onto those long legs and a skintight blouse that showed all her cleavage. And she wore more jewelry and makeup than Beckett bet Eden owned.
“Hey,” he said, pulling a chair across the table from her. “Long time.”
“You look great.”
Nope, he wasn’t touching that. Instead, he lifted the envelope. “I brought Lily’s latest school pictures.”
She glanced at the envelope, then laughed. “How…cute. Who would have ever guessed such a badass ho
ckey player would turn so soft over a kid?”
Her insensitivity or attempted jibe or whatever the hell it was didn’t bother him in the least. The fact that Kim ignored the photos bothered Beckett far more.
“So, what’s up?” he asked, setting the photos aside.
She reached out and put her hand over his. “How are you, Beckett?”
He gently pulled his hand back, but revulsion rolled beneath his skin. “I’m good, but I don’t have a lot of time. What did you want to talk about?”
She sighed, and her smile turned petulant. “I know how much Lily means to you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And I know this custody issue is important to you.”
“It’s important because it’s the best thing for Lily.”
“And I’m inclined to agree to your request if you’d be inclined to agree to mine.”
Patience. Patience.
“It’s not a request, Kim. We had an understanding when I took over her care last year.”
“That was then. This is now. Things have changed.”
“You may have a hard time convincing a court of that considering the condition you left her in.”
“I really don’t want to take this to court, Beckett.”
Anger formed a rock in his throat. “What do you want?”
“Five million,” she said with a matter-of-fact air. “And I’ll sign over custody of Lily. Permanently.”
Beckett choked out a laugh at the sheer absurdity of the number. “Five million? Where the hell did you come up with that number?”
“Don’t act like that’s a lot of money to you.” Suddenly, she was disgusted. “I’m not an idiot. The way you’re playing, you’ll make that in your performance bonus alone this year.”
He shook his head. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t buy Lily from you. Lily isn’t property, and this isn’t a deal. This is about Lily’s welfare. Lily’s best interest. Lily’s health and happiness—”
“Don’t give me that shit. I know you’re not raising Lily. I know you’ve got a nanny doing all the work. And you’re probably also doing the nanny on the side. You’ve probably already got Lily’s boarding school all picked out and paid for. You don’t want her disturbing your lifestyle any more than I want her disturbing mine.”
“About that lifestyle,” Beckett said. “What does Henderson think of having to father another man’s kid?”
Kim’s lips pressed together, and her chin lifted.
“That’s what I thought.” He picked up his phone and offered her the envelope again. “Would you like any of Lily’s pictures?”
“No, I don’t want her pictures,” Kim spat, furious. “I don’t want anything to do with her. But you’re going to have to pay to get me to say that on the record.”
Beckett exited the café, stalking to his car and wishing he had a game tonight so he could smash some guys against the boards.
Since he didn’t and couldn’t, he spent the rest of the drive to his mother’s talking to Fred, which calmed him down enough to enter the house only a fraction as frustrated as he’d been twenty minutes before.
He heard his sister’s voice in the family room and headed that direction. She was on the phone, watching the girls playing in the yard out the window.
Lowering the mouthpiece, she whispered to Beckett, “Griff.”
Beckett could tell by her smile alone that Sarah was talking to her husband. “Say hi for me.”
He stepped outside, called hello to the girls, and sat on the steps. They yelled back in unison but didn’t run to him, and Beckett tried to remember that was a good sign, even if he really did need that hug right now.
The excitement and warmth in Sarah’s voice as she talked to Griff made Beckett’s mind drift to Eden. And as he watched Lily, Rachel, and Amy play in the leaves his father had raked into piles around the yard, his hopes for the near future plummeted.
Lily’s giggle rolled through the air and lightened Beckett’s heart a little. She could always make him smile. The screen door closed behind him, and Sarah sat next to him, curling her arms around her knees, her cell phone dangling in her fingers.
“How’s Griff?” Beckett asked.
“Good.” Her smile looked the way Beckett’s had felt a short hour ago with Eden. “Only three more weeks.”
Lucky her. “Man, bet it will be nice to have him home awhile.”
“More than awhile. He’s getting a promotion. He’s going to be stationed at the Pentagon.”
The Pentagon was a short drive or Metro ride from Arlington, where Griff and Sarah had bought their house. “Hey, that’s fantastic.” Beckett reached around Sarah’s shoulders and hugged her. “Congratulations. Do the girls know?”
Sarah shook her head and focused on the kids. “I’m going to wait until he’s home to tell them. Otherwise, they’ll ask me a million questions I can’t answer.”
“And that way, you can say, ‘Go ask your dad.’”
“Bingo. Fair warning: he’s going to want season tickets.”
“I’ll wrap them up for him for Christmas.” He looked out at the girls again. “Hope I’m on the ice next year, not watching with him from the stands.”
“You will be.” She knocked her shoulder against his. “You’re having an amazing year.”
He grinned and nodded, because, yeah, on the ice, he was doing everything he was supposed to do and his game was falling into place. Off the ice… His game had gone askew.
“You’re going to have to pull out a rake when they’re done,” Beckett told her. “Or Dad will be all over you. Where’d he and Mom go?”
“I thought I’d leave the leaves for you. And they went out to lunch.”
“Good job, sis.” It was hell getting their parents out of the house and away from the grandkids, but he and Sarah agreed they needed their own time too.
They sat in a moment of silence while the girls jumped on the swings. But Beckett’s mind drifted to Eden and his sensation of being held at arm’s length unless she wanted sex. Which was ironic, considering that was really all he’d ever done with women. And that brought his mind back to Kim, and that frustrated the hell out of him.
“Everything okay with the team?” Sarah asked.
“Hmm?” Beckett glanced at her and found that worried crease between her brows. “Oh, yeah. Fine.”
“And Kim?”
In an effort to calm Sarah’s nerves, he decided to give her the information he’d learned in the car that had calmed his own. “I talked to Fred on my way over. I told him to go all-out, get all the ammunition he could, just in case. He had someone take a statement from the aunt.”
“Oh, that’s good, right?”
Beckett nodded. “And they’re in the process of interviewing people in both her past and current life with as few ripples as possible. He’s gathered Lily’s medical records and seems confident that if Kim doesn’t sign custody over willingly, it will be taken from her.”
Sarah exhaled. “That’s a relief.”
A slight relief, but after two and a half years of dealing with Kim’s manipulation, Beckett could feel the other shoe waiting to drop. And his sister didn’t need any more worries than she already had, so he hummed an affirmative. “Mmm-hmm.”
Another moment of silence lingered before Sarah asked, “Then what’s bothering you?”
He shook his head and watched Lily somersault down the far embankment and land in a pile of leaves. “Maybe I should start her in gymnastics.”
“She doesn’t have time for gymnastics. You’ve already got her schedule stuffed.”
He frowned at her. “Too stuffed? I don’t want to stress her out.”
Sarah laughed. “Does she look stressed out to you?”
Her cousins had followed Lily down the slight grade, and the three girls were now piled on top of each other, giggling at nothing. A grin broke out over Beckett’s face. “No. She looks giddy.”
“Then I think you have your answer. But she still doesn’t hav
e time for gymnastics. Now what’s bothering you?”
Beckett heaved a sigh and leaned back against one of the porch pillars. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s her, isn’t it? The EMT.”
He smirked. Nodded. Beckett didn’t know how to put everything he was thinking and feeling into words. He hadn’t even straightened it out in his mind yet.
“You really like her.” The surprised realization in Sarah’s voice drew Beckett’s gaze.
“Why do you make that sound as shocking as a fish breathing air?”
“Because this is different. I don’t think I’ve seen you like this since Stacy Dickler bailed on junior prom because of your broken nose. You looked hideous.”
He rolled his eyes.
“But you don’t look hideous now, and you’re making the kind of money women don’t chase, they hunt. So what’s the problem?”
Yeah, that hunting part was a problem. But not with Eden. “She doesn’t care about money.”
“I like her already,” Sarah said. “But that doesn’t explain the problem.”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure what the problem is. We’re good together. Really good. We don’t have a lot in common jobwise—she’s not a hockey fan—but we have the same values, the same sense of humor. She’s smart and sexy, and she doesn’t take any shit. Yeah,” he said on an exhale, thinking of all the intangible nuances about her that drove his affection deep. “I really like her.”
“Wait. She doesn’t care about money, and she doesn’t like hockey? Why is she dating you?”
“Ha. Good one.” But it got Beckett thinking. Maybe she really was only with him for the sex. And didn’t that suck donkey balls?
“What’s her name?” Sarah asked. “I haven’t heard Lily mention anyone.”
“Eden. And she hasn’t met Lily.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know if it’s going to work out, and I don’t want to introduce a woman into Lily’s life just to have her disappear, like Kim.”
Sarah stared, her brow pulled into the confused how-the-hell-does-your-mind-work look.
