This fine moral sentiment, which was altogether an impromptu utterance, and which was delivered with the air of one who addresses a vast but invisible audience of young ladies in white dresses and blue sashes, seemed to add to the embarrassment of Uncle Remus, and at the same time to make an explanation necessary.
“Dey ain’t none er you young w’ite men never had no ‘casion fer ter strike up wid one er deze Mobile niggers?” asked Uncle Remus. “’Kaze ef you iz, den you knows wharbouts de devilment come in. Show me a Mobile nigger,” continued the old man, “an’ I’ll show you a nigger dat’s marked for de chain-gang. Hit may be de fote er de fif’ er July, er hit may be de twelf’ er Jinawerry, but w’en a Mobile nigger gits in my naberhood right den an’ dar trubble sails in an’ ‘gages bode fer de season. I speck I’m ez fon’ er deze Nunited States as de nex’ man w’at knows dat de Buro is busted up; but long ez Remus kin stan’ on his hine legs no Mobile nigger can’t flip inter dis town longer no Wes’ P’int ‘schushun an’ boss ‘roun’ ‘mong de cullud fokes. Dat’s me, up an’ down, an’ I boun’ dere’s a nigger some’rs on de road dis blessid day dat’s got dis put away in his ‘membunce.”
“How did he happen to get you down and maul you in this startling manner?” asked the commencement orator, with a tone of exaggerated sympathy in his voice.
“Maul who?” exclaimed Uncle Remus, indignantly. “Maul who? Boss, de nigger dat mauled me ain’t bornded yit, an’ dey er got ter have anudder war ‘fo’ one is bornded.”
“Well, what was the trouble?”
“Hit wuz sorter dis way, boss. I wuz stannin’ down dere by Mars John Jeems’s bank, chattin’ wid Sis Tempy, w’ich I ain’t seed ‘er befo’ now gwine on seven year, an’ watchin’ de folks trompin’ by, w’en one er deze yer slick-lookin’ niggers, wid a bee-gum hat an’ a brass watch ez big ez de head uv a beer-bar’l, come ‘long an’ bresh up agin me — so. Dere wuz two un um, an’ dey went ‘long gigglin’ an’ laffin’ like a nes’ful er yallerhammers. Bimeby dey come ‘long agin an’ de smart Ellick brush up by me once mo’. Den I say to myse’f, ‘I lay I fetch you ef you gimme anudder invite.’ An’, sho’ ‘nuff, yer he come agin, an’ dis time he rub a piece er watermillion rime under my lef’ year.”
“What did you do?”
“Me? I’m a mighty long-sufferin’ nigger, but he hadn’t no mo’n totch me ‘fo’ I flung dese yer bones in his face.” Here Uncle Remus held up his damaged hand triumphantly. “I sorter sprained my han’, boss, but dog my cats if I don’t b’leeve I spattered de nigger’s eyeballs on de groun’, and w’en he riz his count’nence look fresh like beef-haslett. I look mighty spindlin’ an’ puny now, don’t I, boss?” inquired the old man, with great apparent earnestness.
“Rather.”
“Well, you des oughter see me git my Affikin up. Dey useter call me er bad nigger long ‘fo’ de war, an’ hit looks like ter me dat I gits wuss an’ wuss. Brer John Henry say dat I oughter supdue my rashfulness, an’ I don’t ‘spute it, but tu’n a Mobile nigger loose in dis town, fote er July or no fote er July, an’, me er him, one is got ter lan’ in jail. Hit’s proned inter me.”
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Uncle Remus: His Songs and His Sayings first published in the United States of America by
D. Appleton and Company 1880
First published in Great Britain by
George Routledge and Sons 1881
Published in The Penguin American Library 1982
Reprinted in Penguin Classics 1986
Introduction Copyright © Viking Penguin Inc., 1982
All rights reserved
Harris, Joel Chandler, 1848-1908.
Uncle Remus, his songs and his sayings,
(Penguin Classics)
Originally published: New York: D. Appleton, 1880.
Summary: Presents the legends, songs, and sayings of Uncle Remus, following the text of the first edition of
Joel Chandler Harris’ attempt to record traditional black stories of his time.
ISBN 978-1-1012-2179-2
First edition (electronic): June 2001
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Uncle Remus Stories Page 20
