by Gail Koger
“Make it stop. Make it stop. Please help me.”
“Help you? Sure.” With one swing of Excalibur, I chopped her head off.
Aunt Sophie’s body disintegrated into a puddle of slimy yellow ooze.
I glanced down at my shoes. Nope. No ruby red slippers, but the wicked witch was definitely dead.
“Ding fucking dong.”
“Come home to me, Angel,” Derek murmured in my head.
I might not be in Kansas anymore but home sounded damned good. I focused on Derek and said, “Cuidam dicitur autem morsellus. There’s no place like home.”
The stone in Excalibur’s hilt pulsed brightly and a cocoon of energy engulfed me.
“There’s no place like home.”
Chapter Eighteen
“There’s no place like home.” The cocoon vanished and I was standing back in my circle with Excalibur clasped firmly to my chest. A shudder of relief shook me. Hallefrickinlujah. I had made it.
“Angel!” It was a joyous cry of relief.
I spun around and met Derek’s gaze. His eyes were full of possessive pride, joy and love.
I stepped out of the circle. “Miss me, snookums?”
His mouth brushed over mine in a light caress.
“What do you think? You’re my heart, my soul and without you I could never have sex again.”
“Funny man.” I leaned in and nipped his lower lip. “I fought my way out of hell for you.”
Derek examined my bloody, battered face, torn clothing and the yellow gunk decorating my hair.
“Looks like my warrior princess kicked some demon butt.”
“I did.”
“You’re one of a kind, Angel.” He tugged me closer. “But next time you pay a visit to hell, I’m coming with you.”
A smile curved my mouth. “Will ya now? It’s a damn scary place.”
“Things that go bump in the night don’t scare me.” Derek gave me a long, tender kiss. “But if I lost you, I would lose the other half of my soul.”
Elation filled me. He really did love me. Now if I could only get him to say it out loud. “Aw, I have my very own Prince Charming. Who said romance was dead?”
Derek grinned and held out a smashed candy bar. “What’s romance without chocolate?”
I took the slightly gooey bar. It wasn’t Godiva but my man was definitely trying. “Next you’ll be telling me you’re a happily ever after kinda guy.”
He took my grubby hand and kissed it gallantly.
“I am now.”
“Bella!” Fabian burst out of the motor home with a grinning Ed hot on his heels.
“You survived hell,” my cousin cried and threw his arms around me.
“I’m a bit surprised myself.” I winced as Fabian crushed me in a bear hug
Growling, Derek pried me loose from Fabian.
“Can’t you see she’s injured?”
“It’s nice to have you back, ma’am,” Ed said, his concerned gaze roved over me.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.”
My cousin voiced his outrage. “Who did this?”
“Sophie. She kept whacking me with her tail.”
Fabian repeated in astonishment. “Sophie has a tail?”
“Had. Had a tail.” The events of the last couple of hours hit me with a vengeance. A tear rolled
down my cheek and I began to shake uncontrollably. Omigod, I had actually gone to hell and lived to tell about it. What were the odds of that happening? A zillion to one? I sucked in a horrified breath. Had I really killed Aunt Sophie? Or could Asmoday resurrect her? Would I have to kill her over and over again?
My husband’s big arms enfolded me in a comforting hug. “It’s okay. It’s just a little adrenaline crash. It’ll pass. You’re safe now.”
“Safe? I won’t be safe until that monster, Asmoday, is permanently imprisoned in the Ninth Hell.”
Derek stroked my back soothingly. “I have Charlemagne’s Sword. If that demon comes anywhere near you, I’ll chop his fucking head off.”
A hysterical giggle escaped me. “I chopped Aunt Sophie’s head off. It was so easy. One swing of Excalibur and bam! She’s a puddle of stinky ooze. Does that make me a bad person?”
Ed patted my shoulder awkwardly. “You did what was necessary to survive, ma’am.”
“She was trying to eat me,” I added with a shudder of remembrance.
Outrage and confusion crossed my cousin’s face. “Sophie’s a cannibal?”
“No, a big, fucking two ton demon,” I corrected.
“A demon that needed killing,” Derek snapped, his eyes burning with suppressed rage.
“More than you can ever know. She was truly evil and mad as a Hatter. It’s just… I’ve never…” I wiped at the tears.
“Killed anyone,” Fabian finished for me.
“Yes. I thought I wouldn’t have any regrets but…” I rubbed the front of Derek’s shirt. “I’m getting blood and demon gunk on you.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the blood or demon gunk or how that bitch died. All I care about is you’re alive and you’re home.”
I handed Excalibur to Fabian and wrapped my arms around Derek’s waist. I was home.
Granny Annabel materialized next to us. “I am so proud of you, bella. You have accepted your destiny.”
Sometimes destiny sucked. “It was great freeing all those souls but killing Sophie was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I mean, she was your daughter and family.”
“That creature was not part of our family. My Sophie died the day she murdered your mother and father and became that demon’s spawn.”
Pain twisted my heart. “Why didn’t you tell me? I had the right to know.”
Derek kissed my forehead and his arms tightened around me. “She was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me?”
Granny’s ghostly hand touched my cheek. “I could not…would not risk losing you, too. Before I
told you the truth, you had to be strong enough to defeat her.”
Derek picked me up. “Let’s get you inside and I’ll give Hank a call.”
“Excalibur’s magic healed most of my injuries.”
My husband cocked an incredulous eyebrow. “A magic sword, huh? Hank’s still checking you out.”
Fabian chuckled, “Excalibur?” He held up the sword and his eyes bugged out. “Dios Mio! It is Excalibur!”
I looked over Derek’s shoulder. “It sure is.”
“How?”
“You know the whole sword in the stone thing?”
“You are joking?”
“No. Excalibur and a bunch of knights were trapped in the Ninth Hell for centuries.”
“Until you freed them,” Granny inserted proudly. “A feat many have tried and failed to accomplish.”
A murderous roar reverberated off the mesa.
Derek calmly surveyed the area. “Asmoday?”
I clung to him. “Yes. Guess he realized I escaped his realm and killed his minion.”
My husband’s eyes were hard and menacing.
“Don’t worry, Angel. I’m going to introduce him to the sharp, pointy end of Charlemagne’s Sword.”
Implacable resolve stamped on his face, Fabian raised Excalibur. “We’ll send him to hell permanently.”
“It will take Asmoday several days to rebuild his power,” Granny advised.
I leaned my head against Derek’s shoulder.
“Good. I need a bath. I reek of hell.”
Fabian quipped, “I wondered what that stench was.”
My husband kissed me gently. “You smell great to me.”
“You, my love, are a liar.”
Laughing, Derek carried me inside the motor home and down the hallway to the bathroom. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”
“A Coke would be great.
“Ed bring Zelda a Coke.”
“Yes, sir,” Ed hurried off.
My husband set me down on the toilet and gave Fabian a sharp glare. “Out
.”
“There is something I must show you,” Fabian said, totally ignoring him.
Derek got in his face. “You can show her later, after she’s had time to catch her breath and clean up.”
“I think it is important bella knows now,”
Fabian growled poking my husband in the chest with his index finger. “Back off.”
Jumping to my feet, I wiggled between the two men and pointed to Aunt Sophie’s ring. “Didn’t we already have the testosterone talk?”
They both took a quick step back.
“Easy Angel.”
“You let her keep the ring?”
One look at their predatory expressions and I let the tears flow down my face and sobbed, “I just came back from hell and all I want hot shower and something cold to drink. Is that too much to ask?”
Ed squashed his bulk into the itty-bitty bathroom and handed me my Coke. “Here ya go ma’am.”
“Thanks Ed. You’re wonderful.” I sniffed loudly. “Not like some men I know.” Geezus, who would have thought three large men, would fit into this tiny room at the same time?
Fabian placed a gentle kiss on my bloody cheek. “Sorry, bella, it can wait. Come Ed there is still much to be done.”
“Thank you,” I sniffled, making a big production of wiping away my tears.
Derek quickly shut and locked the door. “Nicely done.”
“Why thank you, sugar. I’d do just about anything to get my shower and spend some time with my snookums.” I popped the top on the Coke and took a long drink. It was pure ambrosia.
Slanting me a black look, my husband turned the shower water on and started stripping.
I eyed Derek’s chest and flat abdomen rippling with muscles. Hoo boy! Definitely a twelve pack.
My gaze dropped and I swallowed hard. His erect penis jutted over heavy testicles. “I see Mister Happy wants to play.”
“He can play later.” Derek tugged my t-shirt off and examined the bullet lodged in the vest. A killing rage filled his eyes. “That bastard shot you.”
“He did.” I kissed him.
Derek kissed me back, took control and ravished my mouth. “That fucking demon is gonna regret hurting you.”
I stroked Mister Happy. “Oh he definitely will.”
A groan escaped my husband and his hand clamped over mine. “I need to check you over.”
“I’m okay. It’s just a bunch of bruises.”
His callused hand stroked over my badly bruised ribs. “You might have a couple of broken ribs.”
“Had,” I corrected and ran my finger over the tip of his penis.
Derek hissed. “I thought you wanted a shower.”
“I do but can’t we do both?” I needed his touch. I needed to feel the warmth of his body against mine. I needed to chase away the horrific memories of hell, of the needless suffering and my aunt’s part in all of it.
“Hell yes.” In record time, he had my clothes off and we were under the streaming hot water.
Holding my face up to the spray, I let it wash away the blood and demon gunk. It was pure bliss.
My husband poured shampoo into his hands and worked it into my scalp. Marriage definitely had its perks.
I slid my hands around to his nice, firm butt and kneaded it. “You’ve got a great ass.”
His large soapy hands caressed my breasts.
“And you’ve got a great pair of tits.”
“Be still my heart.”
Derek nipped at my neck. “You want poetry and pretty words?”
“No, I want you inside me now.”
The muscles of his hard torso flexed with a sinuous strength as he lifted me.
I wrapped my legs around his hips and his cock slid home. A moan tore from me at the delicious stretching feeling.
“Like that?” He thrust into me in a steady rhythm designed to make my nervous system short circuit.
“Ohhh yes.” Every touch, every kiss twisted the coil of arousal tighter and tighter until spikes of ecstasy roared through me.
His decadent tongue never stopped moving as Derek pounded into me with deep, strong strokes.
Multiple orgasms shook my body and I came apart in his arms.
Fabian banged on the bathroom door. “Bella’s injured yet you ravish her like some starving wolf?”
I could feel the color rising in my cheeks. Had I been screaming again? “I like being ravished.”
Derek kissed my nose. “And I like ravishing you.”
My cousin pounded on the door again. “Unlock this door. Now! I wish to see that my cousin is unharmed.”
“Get lost, you Italian gigolo,” Derek bellowed.
“Gigolo? The ravening beast calls me a gigolo?
Hank come talk some sense into your boss,” Fabian commanded.
“I’m gonna muck up that pretty face of his,”
Derek growled, pulling out of me.
I slid down his fine body. “Did you forget your promise to me, sugar?”
“No, ma’am, I haven’t.” His fists unclenched.
“No pounding the crap out of relatives. No matter how much they deserve it.”
“Good boy,” I said, petting Mister Happy.
“You’re killing me, Angel.”
His cock swelled in my hand. “It’s a great way to die.”
“I did tell you, you’d be screaming my name and begging for more.” Derek groaned as I ran my tongue along his hard length.
“It’s your turn to scream.” My mouth closed around him and I suckled the broad head of his penis.
A hesitant tap sounded on the door. “Boss?”
Derek hissed through gritted teeth. “Give us a minute, Hank.”
“Yes, sir.”
His hips bucked as I drew him into my mouth and explored him with my tongue.
Another knock.
“Boss? The Sheriff’s heading our way. There’s radio chatter about a big pile of bones, gunfire and bodies,” Ed advised.
With a moan, Derek pulled free of my mouth.
“Rain check?”
I glared at the door. “This is supposed to be my honeymoon.”
“How does two weeks in Maui sound?”
“Perfect. Just the two of us?”
“Yes ma’am.” His hot mouth moved over mine.
Granny Annabel popped into the bathroom and chided, “Children, there will be plenty of time for that later.”
I let out a long sigh. “Really? I find that hard to believe. I seem to be surrounded by demons, spirits and pesky relatives.”
“You must destroy the bones before the Sheriff arrives,” Granny instructed, floating around for a better look at my husband’s penis Derek quickly wrapped a towel around his hips.
“Can you stall him?”
An evil smile crossed Granny’s face. “With pleasure.” She vanished.
“Omigod, are you nuts?”
“No, I just want to spend time with my wife.”
Derek mouth closed over mine in a soul-rocking kiss.
A warm glow formed in my chest. He called me his wife.
Fabian banged on the door. “Don’t make me come in there.”
Derek roared, “Get away from the fucking door before I shoot you.”
My cousin laughed. “You do not have a gun.”
Derek pulled a Glock from under a towel and cocked it. “I’m always armed.”
I quickly grabbed his hand. “We’ll be out in a minute, Fabian, and I’ll need Excalibur.”
“Anything for you, bella.”
“C’mon, let’s get this wrapped up so we can spend a month in paradise.”
My husband dropped a quick kiss on my mouth.
“A month, huh?”
“At least.” Wrapping a towel around myself, I headed for the bedroom and some fresh clothing.
I came to an abrupt halt and stared at a twelve inch hand carved Aztec statue sitting on the dresser. It was the turquoise and gold statue from my vision. “How?”
“Gr
anny Annabel had me retrieve it while you were in hell,” Fabian said from behind me.
“Wasn’t that a bit dangerous?”
“No,” Derek growled, “it wasn’t. Asmoday’s and Sophie’s attention was completely focused on you. He simply swam down and fetched it.”
“No Aztec booby traps?
Fabian gave Derek a shark-like smile and his grip tightened on Excalibur. “There were none, bella.”
“Evidently the Aztec thought eight thousand guardian spirits were enough protection,” Hank added from the doorway.
“And they’d be right.” I quickly took Excalibur from Fabian before he decided to stick the pointy
end in my husband. “I’m starving. Could I get you to fix me one of your wonderful Grinder subs?”
“Si, bella.” Shooting Derek a deadly look, he turned on his heel and left.
Hank’s professional gaze roamed over me.
“Geezus. Who beat the crap out of you?”
“My Aunt Sophie.” I sighed in relief as the sword’s magic flowed through me, taking away all my aches and pains.
“She hit you with her cane?”
“No. Her tail.” I grabbed some underwear from my bag.
“Right. She’s the one that became a demon.
You’ve got one weird ass family, ma’am.”
“Hank,” Derek growled in warning.
“He’s right, I do. Just wait until you meet the rest of them.”
“I live for the moment,” my husband quipped.
Hank’s eyes widen in astonishment as my bruises began disappearing right before his eyes.
“How?”
“Excalibur’s a magical sword.”
He touched a vanishing bruise on my shoulder.
“Trying to put me out of business, boss?”
“Nope, you’re an essential part of our team and the plan.”
I tugged up my slipping towel. “Plan? What plan?”
Derek grinned. “Dante and his band of terrorists were planning on releasing a hallucinogen at the Sun Dance Film Festival in Park City.”
“Oh and your team of…?”
“Homeland Security agents intercepted them outside of Kanab and during the firefight some of the hallucinogen was released.”
“This hallucinogen makes people see demons and spirits and things that go bump in the night?”
“Exactly and courtesy of your cousin, Sebastian, Dante and his gang of thugs now have ties to a Taliban group called Harakat Mujahidin,”
