“You’re so right. No doubt in that. I just want you to promise me that, if it gets worse and goes beyond your hands, you will tell me the truth and trust me to give it my best, ok? I won’t let anyone ruin our family, dad.”
“I know that and it’s a promise. I keep all my promises, so you have nothing to worry about, ok? Just leave everything to me and give me time,” I reassure her.
“Of course, dad. Love you.”
“Love you too and I’m proud of you, Isla. I really am.” I grin, thinking of my not so perfect but happy family. I’m happy and content. I won’t let Serena mess with my family. I won’t let anyone tear us apart. “By the way, how was the basketball game you attended? Did you get to meet your all-time favorite sports star?”
“I couldn’t meet him, but I did see him up close,” she squeals in excitement. She’s a budding teenager, so this is expected. “He looks even better in real than on TV. I didn’t think that could even be possible. He’s so hot and dashing. Linden Gardner is the best. And that victorious grin on his face after his winning basket? There is no beating that.”
My daughter is actually fangirling over a guy. Nice. No one ever fangirled over me like this. Funny. I wonder how I would have reacted if some girl were to be this crazy about me. It would surely be an interesting and unforgettable experience.
“You didn’t get his autograph, then?” I enquire. “You were dying for one.”
“I know,” she sighs. “Only one of my friends actually pushed through the crowd and the security to get an autograph. She was relentless and he gave in. Linden is very aloof that way. He doesn’t interact much with fans and neither does he give them the time of his day. Nevertheless, I still like him. He’s an awesome player.”
“He reminds me a lot of me. I was kind of like him back in college. Those were the days when I was pretty popular too. Attitude comes with popularity.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine you that way at all.” She giggles. “Anyway, dad, I got to rush. I’ll catch you later. Keep me updated. Bye.”
“Take care, dear,” I tell, cutting the call.
Just then I hear the tap on the window. I check my watch. She’s on time. Am I glad about that. I lower the glass to be met with her sardonic smile. “Hi, Serena.”
“Long time no see, Nate.”
I unlock the door and she gets inside swiftly. Her proximity puts me off course. In fact, I can go as far as to tell it actually suffocates me. I wish I had gotten such vibes from her back when I first met her. So much hardship could have been avoided. Life is never that easy. Never. And as much as I try, as long as this woman is around, simple and easy is out of question.
“Why?” I grit my teeth as the veins in my arms protrude. “Why the fuck can’t you leave us alone? I’m not trying to interfere in your life. Why can’t you just let us be?”
She laughs haughtily. When I don’t entertain her with a response, she scuffles inside her bag and removes a pack of cigarettes. When I still don’t comment, she taps her acrylic nails on the dashboard. It’s annoying as fuck. That sound really gets on my nerves.
“What?” I snap.
“Lighter, please.” Her voice is spiteful.
With annoyance simmering just under the surface of my stoic features, I open the side compartment, hunt through the stuff there and finally having found the lighter, I throw it to her. She catches it and wastes no time in lighting it. After taking a puff, she turns my way. I immediately slide the window open.
“So, Nathan Bankers never quit smoking? I’m not surprised.”
I scoff and answer without turning her way. “Serena Stoke didn’t stop being a manipulative bitch. No surprise there either. And no, I’ve stopping smoking. I’m still a man of my words.”
“It depends on who you give your word to,” she sneers. “And manipulative? Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment. You’re the most manipulative man that I’ve met.”
“Flattering me won’t help,” I state coldly.
“I was just stating facts,” she calmly retorts. “And let me complete, I’m a manipulative bitch who always gets what she wants.”
“And what is that you want so desperately this time? Tell me the truth. I’m not Cecilia. I’ll never buy your lies.”
“A baby. I’ve been honest right from the start this time.”
“Certainly not because you wish to be a mother.” My tone comes out hostile though I try to keep my disdain hidden. If I expect her to heed to my words, I need to be at least civil.
“I never said that to you. You know that’s not the reason, but for the treasure I’ve set my eyes on, a baby is a necessity. There is no other way. And Cecilia won’t understand the language of money. It’s something that you’re very good at, Nate.”
This much was understood. I don’t even want to get into details of why it’s a necessity. It has everything to do with her husband’s claim on family inheritance. Money is the only thing she has ever been after.
“There are other ways to go about it. And clearly smoking won’t help the cause. It’ll worsen it.”
“To be honest,” she tells, snuffing the butt end and throwing it outside the window. “I’ve given up trying. I did try. I really did. But there is only so much failures that I could take before losing all hope. I’m not up for that kind of struggle again.”
For a change, I can actually sense the sincerity in her words.
“So, you’re serious about this current husband of yours and actually settling for him?”
“Peter is good. He’s the best I could get.” I’m actually glad to hear that. Every change of her husband brought some turbulence in my home too. At least that can be avoided now.
She turns my way and looks straight in my eyes. “Only after you.”
I’m dumbfounded. I didn’t expect her to make such a confession. I can’t even make out if she’s lying or toying with me like she did twenty years ago. As if it’ll even make a difference now. If I could reverse time, I would ensure to never even lay my eyes on her in the first place. She had ruined everything for me.
“Cut the crap.” My grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I’ve had enough of your lies and pointless bullshitting. If there is something you’re incapable of, it’s loving someone with your whole heart. So, don’t even go there. It’s a fair warning.”
Her eyes narrow to slits, but I meet her stare head on. She doesn’t affect me anymore. Nothing she says or does will make a difference to me. Her beauty had captivated me once, turning me into a love sick fool. But not anymore. Now all I see is a vile woman, masking herself under various layers of makeup, who would go to any extent to secure herself financially. Feelings, emotions and people are just mere assets she uses at her disposal. She’s stone hearted.
“You wife is very easy to convince. She never tells no to me,” she bites back. There’s no emotion in her words or on her face.
“She’s also your sister,” I try to reason. “Don’t cheat on her and use her like this.”
“That makes her all the more useful. I need that baby and she already has one growing inside of her, which you clearly don’t want. So it’s simple. I’ll keep it and provide it with everything it wants or desires.”
“It? You’re talking about a living human being. And that too my baby. You really think I would just hand it over to you like this? You, of all people? No, way. No fucking away.”
“I don’t plan on harming it. I might be incapable of love but that doesn’t mean I’ll cause any misery,” she seethes. “Cecilia had already made your intent very clear. If you have nothing else to say, I don’t see the point of this conversation. I’m out.” Her hands are on the handle, ready to yank the door open. But I can very well see through her act. Her calculated hesitancy. She wants me to stop her. Give her another way out.
“Wait,” I tell coarsely.
A small smile sweeps her face and she releases her hold on the handle. “Tell me, Nate. It better be something sensible.”
“Not my baby. Ever thought of surrogacy? It can be your child. Your blood. A much safer and wiser option. I can even arrange for a trustworthy person.”
“You really think we didn’t consider that option? Peter and his dad are dead against it. They can’t have a third woman carrying the baby. I’m the one who’s desperate to have the baby. I need my share of the inheritance.”
This is just ludicrous. When did babies start to become part of inheritance deals?
“And how is he okay with adopting your sister’s baby? He should clearly have a problem even with that.”
“He’s not,” she confesses. “I’ll pretend the entire time that I’m carrying as well. But eventually it’ll be my sister’s baby that I’ll show him as ours.”
No fucking way. She’s going to act? Like seriously? It’ll never work out. It’s laughable. But knowing how smart Serena is, she might actually pull it off. It also depends on how successfully she fools her husband.
“I know what you’re thinking. It is possible. It’s well planned. Peter won’t even be in the States for the next seven months. He won’t come home. And by the time he arrives, I’ll have the baby in my hands. No one will know. And Cecilia and I even look similar, if the baby goes after its mom, it’ll work in my favor.”
“Why ours? If you just want a baby, you can get it anywhere. Adopt a new born. You can even try surrogacy in hiding. He won’t ever have to know. All you need is his sperms. How difficult is it for you to get it? It’s the best solution. Worse case, you can go for a sperm donor. There are many possibilities. You don’t have to make hell for us just for the sake of fulfilling your dreams. You ruined my life once. If you have any humanity left, don’t do it again.”
“Humanity?” she cackles. “You can’t move me by words, Nate. I don’t want the hassle of adoption. Too much money and legal process involved. Peter’s dad knows how I am. He will have an eye on all my spending. It’s a risk that I can’t afford to take. Either it has to be my sister’s baby or she’ll have to carry my baby. I’ll give you the choice. That’s the most I can do.”
Fuck. She has me trapped. Both the options are equally bad. Only if Cecilia were to listen to me and drop this idea. If she refuses, there’s nothing Serena can do. I just have to go against my wife’s wishes and convince her to not do this.
“Money? That’s all you ever cared for. You’re doing all this just for money. It’s not like Peter has given you an ultimatum that if not for the baby, he will leave you. You can still bank on your husband and lead a luxurious life. If you want more money, I can give you. In installments, bulk, however you wish. Just stay away from my family.”
“Really now?” Her tone borders on sarcasm. This time I actually narrow my gaze at her and see tears pricking her eyes. “You think I can stoop as low as to blackmail you for money?”
“Yes,” I answer briskly.
“Nate..are you?” she stammers. “Are you serious?” She shakes her head vehemently. “I don’t want your money. I’m not begging or blackmailing you. My sister is ready to help. That’s enough for me. I don’t need anything else.”
“Except money. Is there anything else you can settle for? You’re so damn greedy. There is no end to your cravings. It’s fucking annoying.” I slam hard on the wheel and my hand starts to throb.
“Well, yeah, there is one thing I can settle for, but it’s not something you’ll agree to either. So, this is a better alternative.” I can see the malice swirling in her eyes. Whatever the alternative is, it’s bound to really fuck with my head.
“Try me,” I seethe.
“You,” she replies calmly. “I want what we had before. No relation. No strings attached. You and I, back to our old days. Are you up for it?”
My knuckles turn red, almost bordering on white due to sheer anger. My pulse throbs in my jugular as I glare at her. It’s taking every bit of self-control to stop myself from shouting at her and shoving her out of my car.
“You’re asking me to cheat on your sister with you?” I ask incredulously.
“I’m asking you to be with me without having to actually lose your family. Accept it, Nathan, a part of you, much to your own disgust, still craves for me. Carves for the fun we once had. It was the best time of your life. Best time of my life.”
“But you traded it for money,” I deadpan. “And that’s exactly why I regret those best times of my life. I’m not sure if I should hate you or be grateful. If you hadn’t left, I would never have founded love in my wife and I wouldn’t have got gotten a chance at this perfect family life. I’m not trading them for anyone or anything. My answer is a definite no. Now, out. We are done.”
She laughs mirthlessly. It gets on my nerves. Meeting her was a bad idea. Did I really believe I could put some sense into this woman? The joke is on me.
“You love your family so much, Nathan? You’re ready to sacrifice anything for them?”
“Yes,” I snap. “They are my top priority. Be it Cecilia, Isla or Clay. They are all equally important. I can do anything for their happiness. I’ll never ruin what I have, especially not for the likes of you.”
She taps her nails on the dashboard again, clearly enjoying herself. “You do realize you never loved me, right? I always knew that.”
“That’s what you believed. Easy to ease your guilt by thinking that. I don’t see why it’s even necessary. You wouldn’t feel guilty about anything.”
“Neither would you. You’re not the kind to feel guilty about anything as long as you justify your deeds using logic that can be understood only by you. I know I’m not the nicest person, but the guys I toyed with or skirted around, the way you put it, were well aware of what they were getting themselves into. I wronged you, I admit it. But you never loved me, Nathan. What we had meant a lot to you. I was special but never once did you look at me with love brimming in your eyes. You made promises, alright, but they were never out of love. You just assumed our life would be perfect if we were to marry. Sex, day in and day out. No emotional baggage and not many expectations. It would just be a relation of convenience, that’s it. That’s why I never actually felt guilty of leaving you.”
“Are you done? I don’t care what you thought. Keep your opinion to yourself.” The internal turmoil has started again. I hate the memories she evokes. I can’t rationalize my actions back then. Till date, I question the way I reacted, what I actually felt and the other what ifs. But it’s too late to change anything now.
“Your desire to fuck can never cease, Nathan. It’s like the demon within you is craving for lust, needing to fuck, wanting to dominant. I know how desperate you get, how temptation drives you mad and how you don’t stop at anything until you clench that thirst. My sister won’t ever be enough for you. No matter how much you try, one fine day, when you find that right person whose desires resonate with your cravings, who teases that beast within you and who offers herself to you, you will forget everything else and go back to your old days. That’s just how you are.”
I have already found that person.
Sara.
I haven’t even touched her and yet, I already have the urge to pounce her on.
Own her. Make her mine. Fuck her senseless. She is the one.
“Even if you are right, I would never leave my family for anyone. They are a constant in my life. I can keep the two lives apart without forming any sort of attachment.”
I don’t get why I’m even sharing anything with her. She might bail on me and chalk me out anytime. And yet, she’s the only one, who at least to an extent, reads or understands me.
“You have done that so far because…”
“I’ve not had any affairs,” I state through clenched teeth.
“Let me complete. You’ve done it so far because you’ve never actually been in love. You didn’t love me and you definitely don’t love my sister. So neither of us should be expecting any loyalty from you.”
This is laughable now. Serena of all people is lecturing me about love?
&n
bsp; “You really think for the sake of love I can let go of everything? Even my family?”
“You’re a very passionate person, Nate. If you find the same passion in love, yes, you can.”
“Let’s just end this conversation. Do whatever you want. I’ll talk to Cecilia and convince her.” We are just going about in circles. Nothing can come out of this.
“When you truly love someone, they become your everything. Just their smile lights up your day.”
The first genuine smile I had in a long time was when Sara walked into that meeting room.
“Their mere presence makes you forget everything else. In that moment, time halts for you.”
Her voice was was my undoing. Her eyes, they were shining so bright, brimming with hope. I was so lost in them, there was no way out.
“They take your breath away, steal your voice, and yet, you feel more alive than you have ever felt before.”
I lose myself when I talk to Sara. It’s like I’m someone else. Someone born to bask in her beauty, breathe in her scent and lose his senses under her charm.
“They are embers of fire on a cold night, a surge of hope in a bitter living.”
She evoked in me a new zeal, rejuvenated my passion and gave a whole new purpose to my dull life.
Serena snaps her fingers and I snap out of my thoughts. “I’ve never understood love. It’s beyond me, but, you know who explained it like this to me? Whose words I just quoted?
I know the answer, but I need her to tell me. “Cecilia,” she states. “My sister loves you so much. You have no idea.”
“And you want me to cheat on her and fuck you?” Disgust laces my tone. This woman is certified mad.
“She loves her family more. If you were to even fuck me, you would never fall for me. You would never love me and you would never leave your family for me. Her family would be intact. But when you find love in someone else, I rather not think about what might happen.”
That will never happen. I’ll never fall in love like that. I’m beyond all that and I’m a family man now. I will never make place for love in my heart. It’s not required. I won’t go seeking anything. If it’s sex, I’ll keep it at sex.
Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1) Page 16
