“Of a rock band,” he completes. “Before that I did try solo and I was very good. Being in the band actually made me very popular with the ladies. Then there was a lot of sex and eventually I lost my knack for it. Maybe I outgrew it, but I eventually stopped and changed tracks.”
“That’s tragic.” My disappointment is evident. “I would have become your die-hard fan. I can even now. Sing for me some time,” I plead.
“Let’s see. Now my voice is not that great, but for you, I can. Okay, so question two?”
“As a reward for your first answer, this will go,” I say, motioning to my bra. As his dark grey pupils go wide in anticipation, I unhook my bra and slowly slide the straps along my shoulders. The cups give away and my boobs spill out. I’m a modest C cup – 34 C to be precise, but going by the gasp that leaves his lips, I might be exactly what he sought and imagined.
“Next question. Quick,” he barks out.
“If you were to get a time machine, what would you do with it?”
“What?” his eyes snap to my face and he shakes his head. “Come again.”
“Time machine. What would you do?”
“I don’t know. It’s unrealistic. Not sure where you’re going with it, but maybe I would go to the future, understand my regrets then and try to correct it in the present to avoid that.”
“Seriously?” My brows knit in disbelief. “Such a calculated answer even for this? And you came up with it in seconds. Cool, Nate.”
“What would you do?” he asks with a shrug.
“Thought you would never ask,” I giggle. “But it’s decided for me. I would go back to the time you started college, and come into your life then. I would fall in love with you, made you fall hard for me and would end up marrying you, starting our own family. Sara and Nate Bankers.”
True delight shines in his eyes. His smile stretches across his face, giving way to a slight dimple on his right cheek that rarely shows up. I impressed him even without shedding my panties.
“That’s probably the sweetest thing you’ve ever told me,” he admits.
“I would really want that.”
“I know, baby. I would love that chance too.”
“My turn,” I tell bravely. Without much ado, I make quick work of my panties, shimmying out of them and throwing them away. This is it. I’m stark naked in front of Nathan.
I meet his heated stare head on. His eyes don’t rake my naked body like I had expected. They continue to hold my gaze.
“Nathan.” The intensity between us can spark a lightening, engulfing us in its fiery glow. The tension in the air is actually tangible. Despite the eerie silence between us, our hearts are thundering, causing the roars of passion. “Sara.” His voice is a just a hiss now.
Words are irrelevant now. What we wish to do to one another is swirling as lust in the depth of our eyes. If not for the confines of this screen, we would be in each other’s arms, limbs entangled and bodies flushed against each other’s. One seamless entity.
“Will you really let me fuck you, Sara? I want to. After being so intimate with each other’s body, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get you out of my head and until I really feel you, touch you, hold you, kiss you, fuck you, I won’t be able to rest. I need you Sara Waters. Need you in the most primal way.”
If I hold his gaze even for a minute more, I can wither away, getting lost in his trance. My heart will end up taking the fatal fall, and yet I can’t get myself to look away from him. His love guides me, gives me the strength to survive the fall and continue to live, not just survive.
All I can do is nod. Nod to everything he has to say and everything he asks of me.
“I love you.” Though I have said this many times before, now it feels different. Like these words of mine have sealed our lives for good. The weight of these words will be felt for the entire lifetime.
“I love you too.” And till the day I die, these words of his will act as a lifeline for me. We may never get a chance in this lifetime to be together, but this confession of his is more than enough for this lifetime.
“Lie on the bed and tilt your screen such that I’ll be able to still see you. Completely.”
I oblige without any resistance. After adjusting the screen, I raise my pillow to an inclined position and rest on it. I can’t see him clearly from here, but I can make out his dick that’s already jutting from his briefs. His hands are on it, already pumping.
“Touch yourself for me, Sara. My eyes are on you, flitting through every inch of your bare skin that’s carving to be touched by me.”
He need not have to tell twice. My hands act on their own, connecting with the wet spot between my thighs. With my clit pressed with one of my hands, I use my other two fingers to thrust into my slick and damp opening. The sudden fullness makes my hips buck and a pleasured sigh escapes from my mouth
“Fuck, you’re so wet. That pussy is mine to feast on. I want to scrap it with my teeth, slurp it with my mouth and impale it with my fingers until my lips are soaked from your arousal.”
My head falls back as I close my eyes, lost in sensation, deriving pleasure from the erotic image he’s painting. My hands work faster and my wetness drips onto the comforter.
“Need you to fuck me.” My words are yet again followed by another moan.
“I will,” he barks. “But only after I watch your orgasm unfold in front of my eyes. Once my dicks starts to pound you, Sara, I’ll become a beast that only takes and might not even offer anything in return.”
“I want that.” I squirm and my own orgasm surfaces as I hear him reaching his own. My pussy clenches around my fingers as Nathan’s face explodes in front of my eyes, blinding me with pure pleasure. My muscles relax as tingles of joy ricochet from my core. I lift my head and open my eyes at the right time to see spurts of cum ejecting from his dick that’s fisted in his hands. He growls, murmuring my name over and over again. When his eyes meet mine, for the first time ever I see something beyond the lust that always enraptured me. His grey iris is clear, glowing in joy and shining with love for me.
We don’t speak, but just continue to stare at one another. This time his eyes take their own sweet time in gazing me from head to toe. His stare is so heated, it’s searing my body with unaltered and uncontrollable love, marking me as his. They are agonizingly slow as they continue their descent. I relish his sole attention on me and get high on it.
“You’re something else, Sara.” Burying his head in his hands, he looks up at me. “I give up. I’m in too deep with you. I can never forget you.”
I understand his defeat. It’s something even I fought against in the earlier stages, but I had given up much before him. I don’t stand a chance in front of Nathan Bankers and it’s my victory that he bowed in front of me too. He’s never a man to give up, but he just did, for and because of me. Me. I hold so much power on him.
“Me too, Nathan. Me too.”
Our silent moment is interrupted when Isla calls loudly for her dad. “Dad. You’re coming now. I can’t do it alone. I need a break.” There is no scope for argument in her tone.
He shrugs as I smile at him. “I need to go, I guess. Need to clean up first. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Sure. I loved this, thanks.”
“No regrets, right?” he asks uncertainly.
“Never. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
I lie naked on my bed. My hands and limbs refuse to corporate with me in putting on some clothes. I’m still reeling in the after effects of that long pending orgasm. A ping from my phone gets my attention. I open it, expecting a message from Nate but it’s from his daughter.
Hey. I have emailed you my mom’s article. The one she had sent dad. Check it out
Without giving it too much of a thought, I open my inbox and start to read it.
Once I’m done, I lock my phone and keep it aside. Burying my head into the pillow, I shed my first drop of tear. As happy as I’m after sharing thos
e intimate moments with Nate, guilt seeps into my heart and falls as tears, tainting those moments.
That article was long, elaborate, and beautifully written, depicting a story of a married woman, who falls in love with her husband over time, very well aware that he might never return her feelings, but would carry on with his responsibilities as a dutiful husband. It was crystal clear that she was writing about her own feelings for Nate. It’s undoubtedly love. True, pure love. What I feel for Nate, she feels it too. But is it really that intense? Despite having him in her life, starting a family with him and being legally bounded, she craves for his love.
That’s the reason she didn’t disclose her name to him. Even after reading, he couldn’t connect the dots and understand that it was referring to their relation. Nathan’s stubborn that way. By adding love to their mix, he doesn’t wish to complicate their relation and Cecilia doesn’t want to risk coming clean. I know Nathan loves and respects her, but maybe not the same way she loves him. Or maybe he does but he doesn’t wish to acknowledge it? Where do I even fit into this picture? My relation with him doesn’t even have a name and yet I shed all inhibitions with him, exposing my body and drawing pleasure from him.
She’s his wife. The mother of his kids. She has all rights over him and has every right to expect his love. He’ll give her everything, except for his heart, which solely belongs to me now. Despite that, he’ll never be mine. He’ll always belong to her, at least in the eyes of the society. I’ll just remain behind as the ‘other woman’ who tried to ruin his family. Nothing else.
What am I even doing??
Chapter 18
Nathan
I don’t maintain dairies. Never have I practiced it, but lately I have been writing, rather making entries. It’s just to transfer my feelings into something more tangible. Not just my feelings, but Sara’s words, statements and quotes too. It’s so unique. It ignites feelings in me that I haven’t experienced before and though I don’t know what to make of them, I do wish to save them and read them again and again, and feel happy that someone thinks so highly of me, considers me so special and loves me so much. Not everyone gets to be in the receiving end of such honest feelings in their lifetime, and given my age, it’s even rare. And yet I’ve become the lucky one. For now, I want to relish this without thinking of too many if’s and but’s. Live in the present and make the most of it. Simple.
As I start a new page, I get the call I was waiting for. Sara.
“I’m sorry I had to drop then. My sister was telling something important and I didn’t want her to feel less neglected neither did I wish for her to think I’m not taking her issue seriously, so…” she tells in a single breath, and pauses.
“It’s ok, Sara. Breathe. I understand. You need not have to explain so much. You have your priorities.”
“No, you are my top priority too. You have to understand that. Always. And it’s ok if I’m not and can’t ever be your top priority. Nothing will change from my end.”
Anytime now, Cecilia will be returning. After that my priorities will inevitably change. Not something I can ever control. I know Sara will be hurt, but for today, I’ll push it to the back of my head. It’s a special day for her and I also have a special gift just for the occasion. A gift that should be on her way.
“Happy Birthday again, Baby. Love you.” I kiss the phone and she giggles.
“I love it when you kiss me. Thank you, Nate!! It’s the third time you’re wishing me today and again, thanks for bringing it up in the stand-up too. Sadly, I had to treat them but I suppose their wishes were worth it.”
“Liar,” I scoff. “You wanted that. Me bringing it up, making you feel all the more special in front of those people.”
“Exactly,” she happily exclaims. “It’s Nathan Bankers who remembered and made a big deal of my birthday. That’s indeed remarkable. You should have seen the looks on their faces. They were beyond stunned. That’s indeed a good gift.”
“My pleasure, Sara. Before I forget, there was something you wanted to tell?”
I send a quick message to the courier guy who was supposed to be delivering the gift to her. It’s late already.
“Yeah. I wanted to make this confession or, whatever you wish to call it on my birthday. It’s a grand occasion for me.”
“Go on, I’m all ears,” I tell with a smile.
“I’ll start with something that I had written about love. It’s prose of sorts.” She takes a deep breath, clears her throat and starts. “Sometimes the gravity of reality makes us see past the naked truth but the true, scared feeling slips into every vacant thought.” She pauses and I hit record. I’m not missing this. “Every vein of our blood stream, every orifice of our subconscious mind, every beat of our turbulent heart, every tear shed by the hopeful eyes. Love is never hidden but it’s also the ultimate truth we choose to be blind to.”
“Sara..” I start but she doesn’t let me finish.
“No. Let me finish. I don’t want to be blind to such a love, Nathan. I love you. I’m in love with you from the bottom of my heart. It doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the harsh reality that we can never actually be together, but fuck it. People get high and intoxicated in love. Fuck maturity and being practical, they literally drown in love- the current so strong, there is no fighting it. Nathan, I honestly believe that no one in this whole wide world can love you as much as I do. Not even your wife. She might like you a lot, but does she know the real you? Can she love you with all your flaws? I don’t think so. I might be being selfish, but my heart just won’t listen. Love is not just an attachment. It’s a form of sacrifice too. Even if my love for you is unrequited, I can still scream from the rooftops that I love you. Have you ever truly been in love until now? Until you truly feel what I feel, my words might not even make much sense to you. It’s like asking a person who has never even touched alcohol, what intoxication feels like. Nathan, it’s you who I love. It’s not about sex, position or power. It’s the horny teenager inside of you, the kid with a contagious laugh, and the man with many years of experience and wisdom. I like the whole of you. Nathan Bankers, mark my words. Even twenty or thirty years from now, when you would have actually become an old man, worn down by life, bent and wrinkled with age, I would still love you the same way. My love for you is not the one that would die with time or age. It will live on. Forever.”
“Sara, I don’t know what to say…I’m overwhelmed.” I am. Her words have me bowled over. I don’t know how to react but there is no holding back my immense joy in hearing those words.
“Hold on, there is a knock on the door and that too at this hour..” she trails away.
“MOM!!! I missed you!!” Isla squeals from downstairs. Cecilia is back.
“It’s a gift for you,” I tell hurriedly. “It’s a diamond pendant. I wanted to go for something more grand and lavish, but you wouldn’t be able to answer your sister then. So went for this. I loved the design. It’s perfect for you.”
“But Nate, this…”
“Later. I need to go now. She’s back. Love you. Always. Bye.”
I don’t give her time to respond and cut the call.
“Hey,” she greets, keeping her luggage and backpack aside.
“Hi. I missed you,” I admit. Though not much as I was supposed to. I should have even looked forward to her returning, but part of me just dreaded it. And now is the moment.
“I missed you more.” Cecilia has changed. Not much in her appearance but I can feel it the way she is staring at me. There is some form of realization in her eyes that was not there before. A kind of maturity that even I don’t seem to have attained.
“I won’t debate that,” I tell with a small smile.
Before I can even move, she rushes forward and throws herself at me, burying her head in my chest and sobbing. It takes me a moment to band my arms around her waist and hold her.
I try to shush her. “It’s ok, Cecilia. Calm down. I’m right here.”
“I’m so sorry,
Nate. I shouldn’t have just walked off like that. I really messed things up.”
“Don’t apologize. It doesn’t matter now. We had an argument, you disagreed and took some time off. It’s no big deal. I’m over it now.”
Finally, she stops sobbing and looks up at me. One of her hands caresses my cheeks while she uses the other to clasp my hand. “I made my decision. It didn’t actually take much time, but I didn’t want to let you know until it was taken care of.”
My brows knit as I study her. I don’t see any form of hurt or pain on her face, but it must have been a difficult decision to make and see through till the end. “You shouldn’t have done it alone. I should have been there for you. And Cecilia, I wasn’t totally against us having a baby. We could have spoken about it.”
“No, Nate. I wasn’t really thinking straight and was being carried away with too many emotions. It wasn’t like I was actually ready to be a mom at this age. It would have definitely taken a big toll on my health and I have never been the strong one. Even the doctor wasn’t too in favor of me continuing my pregnancy. I just wanted to help my sister.”
“I’m sorry.” My apology is sincere and she gets it. “Unlike me, you’ve always been fond of your sister. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to help her, but this was something that I just couldn’t accept. I wouldn’t do that to our child. No matter how much of a good mom she might have turned out to be, I wouldn’t ever be comfortable in just giving away our child to her like that. And I think it’s too late for her to earn my trust.”
“It’s ok, Nathan. I was being selfish. Knowing the history between you two, I shouldn’t have even proposed it to you. There is a limit up to which I can push or expect from you. I was clearly crossing that.”
“No.” I shake my head. “You don’t even know the whole story. Just bits and pieces and it’s wrong for me to expect that you will understand my dislike for her. I owe you the whole truth and it’s high time I tell you.”
“Now?” she asks with wobbly lips. This is something that’s hard for her considering it’s her sister and her motives that’s under question. And family is family. My dad died a long time ago. My mom is in Orlando living with her younger sister. I don’t have a family to boast about, but I’ve been pretty close to my parents. If anyone were to say anything against them, I wouldn’t accept it easily. It’s the same with Cecilia. After her grandma, it’s her sister she is closest too.
Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1) Page 23
