“She’s pulled away from me, and I have only myself to blame.”
The raw emotion in his voice was unlike anything I had heard from Johai, and it perplexed me. What if I had been wrong and he did not hate me? What if he felt something quite the opposite? A searing pain shot through my skull at the thought, and I doubled over from it. Starbursts formed behind my lids as I collapsed to my knees. I must have called out because Johai and Damara ran out of the study.
I felt Damara’s hands upon my face and heard her beyond the pounding of the blood in my head. Johai loomed over her shoulder, and the candid expression of pain on his face was too much for my pain-addled mind to comprehend. He pushed Damara aside and scooped me up in his arms. The pain did not fade, but I found my sense and breathed through the pain. His expression returned to a neutral indifference, but I knew what I had seen and heard. I was just not sure what to think about this new development.
The next morning, I entered the receiving room. I felt weak from the night before. The headache had subsided, but trying to process Johai’s words only doubled the pain in my head. Damara sat at the edge of a couch. She stared at a folded piece of parchment, her brows furrowed.
She glanced up to greet me. “It seems Princess Sabine wants to thank you in person for saving her,” she said. By the door, a servant in royal livery hovered, his expression placid.
My heart skipped a beat, but I tried to keep my excitement from showing on my face. This was the chance I needed. “Oh?”
Damara walked to a desk by a window and withdrew a piece of parchment from a drawer. “Yes. She requests you join her for her morning walk. Will you?” She motioned to the parchment.
I walked over, my hands trembling with excitement. “Are you sure?”
Damara smiled. “You can’t stay here forever.”
I exhaled. Guilt constricted my chest. I hated not being able to trust her. Perhaps she did have my best interest in mind. One slip of the tongue and nigh the whole court came knocking down my door. Then why the secrecy, why take my memories away? Damara patted me on the shoulder and leaned in. “Be careful, Maea. Not everyone at court is what they seem.”
Like you? I bit back my tart reply and penned a hasty response to the princess. Damara would have to wait. I needed to press my advantage while I had it.
I met the princess at the edge of the gardens. One of Damara’s guards joined me, Earvin, a quiet fellow who recently had joined her service. Today, two of Princess Sabine’s guards escorted her, and none of her usual entourage accompanied us.
“Lady Maea, well met.” She bowed to me as an equal, and I returned a deeper bow, feeling uncomfortable and uncertain. “Thank you for joining me.”
“It’s my pleasure, Your Highness.”
She smiled, but it did not reflect in her eyes. It struck me how sad they seemed.
“Shall we?” She motioned towards a pleasant verdant path.
We walked for some time in silence, unsure where to begin. The diviner’s clues led me thus far, and without the ability to exercise my craft, I reached an impasse. I was well and truly on my own. We turned a corner, and Princess Sabine motioned for one of her guards, the same one that had attended her in the Hall of Entertainment.
“Beau, can you give us a moment?”
He glowered at me, eyes narrowed. I am sure after the attack he suspected everyone and rightly so.
“Your Majesty, I don’t think that is appropriate.”
“Beau, Lady Maea saved me. I’m sure if I can trust anyone here at court, it’s her.”
I cowered beneath his stare and attempted to appear innocuous. He stared me up and down as if measuring my risk, and in the end, he gave way to his mistress’s wishes. I also instructed Earvin to stand down, and he obeyed with a crisp nod. We walked down a sloping garden and meandered through a series of gurgling fountains.
The air smelt of the sea, and a heavy marine layer kept it comfortable, but a tepid wind predicted another scorching day.
We passed by a group of gardeners hard at work when Princess Sabine spoke. “You said you knew I was in danger because you had a vision.”
“I did, Your Highness.”
“Don’t call me that,” she said. “I’m no sovereign here, merely a bird in a gilded cage.”
How I empathized with her, surrounded by caretakers whom wished to use me. I wished to express my feelings but feared it would not be welcome. She was a princess, even if she was a hostage, and I was no one of import.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, ’tis not of your doing. Now tell me, what are these visions you spoke of?”
“I am a diviner, gifted with the ability to see both past and possible futures.”
“Ilusino,” she said in hushed Neaux.
Dreamer, I thought, a fitting title.
“Or so we’ve been called in other lands,” I replied.
She stared at me in wide-eyed astonishment. “You speak my mother tongue as well? It’s forbidden for me to speak it in public.” She did not turn her eyes away, as if she wished me to challenge her for daring to break the rules of her imprisonment.
The injustice galled me. She, a prisoner cut off from her homeland, could not even use her native tongue! I held back an angry remark. It wouldn’t be seemly to speak out to the princess.
When I did not comment, she continued. “I find it hard to believe… and yet.”
“It is true,” I said.
“But why save me? We have just met.”
I decided honesty would best win her trust, and Goddess knew, I needed an ally. “Because I am like you; I am trapped in a gilded cage, and yet worse, I know not why.”
“Tell me more,” she said.
And so I spun my tale for Princess Sabine, without censor. I had no reason not to trust her, and true, we were two of a kind, both pawns in the game of politics. I told her everything from my nightmares and the first diviner’s warnings, to my vision and subsequent collapse in the banquet, my suspicions about Damara, and before I knew it, I was telling her about what I had overheard the night before. When I finished, she stared at my face, scanning my features.
“I believe you. I cannot explain it, but I do.”
“Thank you,” I replied. It was cathartic to get it all out. Having released my burden, I felt much lighter.
“I wish I were the key to help you, but unfortunately, I have no answers for you.”
“Then my search continues.” I sighed.
We stopped alongside a fountain, and Princess Sabine gazed at the water’s surface. A few petals floated along its surface, having fallen from a nearby flowering tree.
“I have been a tool for political maneuvering since I was a child. I have learned a few things as a result, and if Damara and Johai plan what you suggest, then it could mean either chaos or the dawning of a new age, depending on who they choose to rule or who Danhad chooses to rule.”
“I know. I fear, no matter who is on the throne, the wrong people will be in control, and that is why I must find a way to stop them. That is what I think the diviner requested of me.”
Princess Sabine nodded. “Perhaps we could walk together a while longer and talk about your plans?” Princess Sabine raised her brow in question, and I realized she was asking me to spend time with her.
“I have heard the hedge maze provides much entertainment to those willing to attempt it.”
A half smile tugged her lips. “Indeed it does, would you be interested?”
“I believe I would.” I smiled, and we headed in that direction.
We chatted about inconsequential things, and I marveled at how relaxed I felt just strolling and talking with the princess. For a moment there were no dire warnings and no plots. We were two young women enjoying a summer day.
As we neared the entrance to the maze, two figures approached us from across the lawn. The taller of the two hailed us. Prince Adair and a little girl clutching his hand drew within sight. When the little girl saw Princess Sabine, she let
loose a great squeal of delight and wrenched free of Prince Adair. Her dark curls caught in the breeze like a banner behind her as she ran towards us. Princess Sabine crouched down to receive her, and the child threw her arms around Princess Sabine’s neck. I could have sworn they were sisters but for the piercing blue eyes on the child. Prince Adair strode over, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
I fell into a deep bow and peered at him through my lashes.
“Sabine, well met. And you, I have not had the pleasure of a proper introduction.” He held his hand out, helping me to my feet. My face flushed as I recalled our most recent meeting.
“I am Maea, Your Highness.”
“Call me Adair, if you will.”
Raising my head, I met his gaze. He pondered me for a moment and looked back towards Princess Sabine.
“Adair, how rare to see you lacking a multitude gathering about you,” Princess Sabine said.
“Indeed, but Edalene is all the companionship I need.” He ruffled the little girl’s hair, and she admired him adoringly.
“Sabine, will you try the maze with me? Brother promised to play if I can solve it,” Edalene asked, returning to Sabine and tugging upon her sleeve. I wondered at the girl’s parentage; though she and the prince shared a striking resemblance, they could not be full siblings.
Sabine crouched down to Edalene’s eye level. “But if I helped, you would not solve it on your own,” she explained, and Edalene’s lip quivered.
“I believe I can make an exception to the rules, this once,” Adair remarked, and she beamed at Princess Sabine and Adair in turn. It was hard to believe the same man I had seen chatting about women as if they were trophies to be won was also this man who appeared an adoring brother.
Princess Sabine glanced in my direction, where I stood unsure of my place. “I don’t mean to be rude, Lady Maea…”
“I’d be happy to escort Lady Maea through the maze, if she will allow.”
Adair’s eyes fell on me again, and a tingling sensation crept up my spine. I unwillingly thought of our last meeting, and a blush colored my cheeks. Perhaps he thought the same because he smirked. I met his gaze, refusing to be cowed by him.
“If my liege wishes.”
“It would please me greatly,” he said.
Princess Sabine’s brows drew together, but Edalene tugged and goaded her to join her. Sabine had not had the answers I sought, but she was only a piece of the puzzle, and the prince, I hoped, held the solution to my riddle. The prince offered me the crook of his arm, and Edalene grabbed a hold of Princess Sabine and dragged her into the maze, giggling as she did so. Prince Adair and I followed after, and I watched them disappear around the corner.
“I was not aware you had a sister,” I said, thinking to make small talk.
“She’s my half-sister,” he replied.
“Oh.”
“You’re probably wondering at her complexion.” He waved towards the path down which Sabine and Edalene had disappeared.”
“I was. She is clearly not full Danhadine.”
“No, she is half Neaux.”
The revelation was surprising. I did not recall any marriage between Danhadine royalty and Neaux.
“I was not aware we had made marital alliances with Neaux in the last decade.” Or so I guessed the girl’s age to be.
His expression darkened. “We did not. My sister was conceived against my mother’s will at the end of the war.”
Without anything appropriate to say, I remained silent.
We continued in stilted silence for some time. I thought to apologize for broaching such an uncomfortable topic, but the lapse in conversation made the timing inconvenient. The muffled sounds of Princess Edalene’s, as I assumed her to be a princess, and Princess Sabine’s laughter carried over the hedges. In the distance waves crashed against the shore thundering and echoing off the cliff face. Before long our time would be up, and I still needed to ask him for his help.
After a lengthy silence, Adair spoke. “Your eyes are a very peculiar color. I’ve never seen the like before.”
The opening I needed presented itself. “I don’t imagine you would, they’re unique to my family.” My heart pounded in my chest.
“You wouldn’t be a descendent of House Diranel, would you?”
I paused, and excitement rippled through me. He knows! None dared to speak my disgraced family’s name aloud besides Damara and then only in private.
“I am, Your Highness. You possess a long memory for one so young.” I treaded lightly, even if he was familiar with my heritage, it did not make him an ally.
“I prefer you to address me as Adair.”
“Adair,” I said, tasting his name on my tongue.
He laughed, and I found guilty pleasure in the sound. I chided myself; he was not someone I wanted to become enamored with. It would only end in heartbreak and maybe a belly swelling with a fatherless child. Sabine called out to Edalene, and she screeched in reply.
“And may I be presumptuous enough to call you Maea?”
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. “I would not be adverse to the sound.” Where did this playful banter come from? It spilled from my lips now as if I had been born to it, perhaps another side effect of my memory loss. Is this the real me, or is the fumbling Maea me? I couldn’t be sure.
“Maea.” His mouth caressed my name, some might consider it inappropriate, but I liked it. The way he spoke, it mesmerized me, and a dangerous thrill raced up my spine from our exchange. Like a child playing with fire, I was bound to get burned. Adair continued, “May I ask you, if you are a diviner, will you be reading people’s dreams here at court?”
“Mayhap.” I needed to turn the conversation, lead him to the answers I needed without giving too much away.
“You saved Sabine with your gift, yet you are hesitant to ply it.”
“Do you doubt my authenticity?” I felt affronted. He had seen firsthand what I could do.
“I will admit I am a skeptic. I put little stock in the unknown; I am more a man of the present, of what is standing before me…”
He paused mid-stride, and I upturned my head to face him. “That is an understandable belief, though I cannot share it. It would go against my very nature.”
“It is hard to doubt when one looks into your eyes, Maea. Perhaps you will show me your way of thinking. I would be honored if you performed a reading for me… I would be your first… at court.”
Modesty bid me blush, and I averted my gaze to the grassy covering beneath our feet. His forthrightness unmanned me. To my simultaneous relief and disappointment, Edalene gave a cheer of triumph from somewhere at the other end of the maze. Prince Adair distracted me, and I forgot my goal. “It appears my sister has found the end of the maze, and with it, my time with you has ended. But we shall meet again, soon.”
Very soon, I hoped.
Chapter Seven
A formal missive arrived by the time I returned from my walk with Princess Sabine. Johai and Damara awaited me in the study. Johai jumped to his feet the moment I entered.
“What is this?” He pointed to the letter on Damara’s desk.
“I do not know,” I replied. My eyes flickered over to the desk and spied the neat even hand of the note.
“We received several inquiries in regards to your abilities, and today we received a request we cannot ignore,” Damara said, seemingly unaffected by Johai’s outburst. My heart skipped. He sent word so soon?
“Oh?” I asked in an attempt to appear coy.
Johai seethed, and white lines framed his clenched mouth. He glared at me, and I feared he might strike me. I recalled what I had heard the night before and averted my gaze. I could not look him in the eye. If what I suspected was true, it only complicated things further. If he cared for me, why keep me in ignorance? Why stand aside while I struggled with my lack of a past? Did someone else hold all the pieces here? My first thought was the queen. If that were the case, what did she have to gain from me?
“May I?” I approached Damara, my hand outstretched.
She proffered the letter to me, and I took it over to a box-window to read. I’ll admit I devoured every word. His bold but elegant penmanship laid out his request. He spoke frankly, asking me to read his dreams and prove myself. After reading it three times through, I dropped the parchment on the desk. Johai continued to glower at me from the corner, where he tapped his foot. Damara sat, calm and collected. The sensible part of me knew better than to fall for Adair’s charms, but the diviner’s warnings still loomed at the back of my mind. I had wasted my opportunity this afternoon. His request presented another chance to get the answers I sought.
“It appears you’ve had your first bite,” she remarked.
“But you’re hesitant?” I asked, half-fearing she’d say no and half-hoping she would agree.
“Not hesitant, surprised. I never thought you’d receive a formal request from the prince-heir himself, not for your first.”
Not my first, had I been the intended bait for the prince, or was I reading into her words? Perhaps not, from Johai’s reaction, I sensed this had not gone to plan. Damara’s brows pulled together in a line above her green eyes.
“Are you displeased?”
Damara regarded the desktop, perhaps reading the letter once more. “No, I am not. If you agree, I will make the arrangements.”
Johai burst from the wall and came to loom over me. “I forbid you to do this!”
His actions forced me to look into his blue eyes.
I pushed back thoughts of a lovesick man thinking about what was best for me and reminded myself that even if he did care for me, he was equally as guilty for letting this continue.
“Why not!” I snapped. “I thought I came here to reclaim my house. What better way to start than by working for the prince!”
“It’s not that simple, Maea!”
“Please enlighten me, your grace!”
He lowered his arms to his sides. “Don’t ever call me that.”
I did not expect this reaction. Defensiveness, maybe, but his air of defeat gave me a twinge of guilt. Who are you? I wondered. What are you hiding from?
[fan] diviners trilogy - complete series Page 7
