by Nia Arthurs
“You did a great job with us, Ma.” I said, scooting closer so I could rub her back comfortingly. Sandra looked on with concern.
“I don’t want you to be skeptical of love because of the choices your father and I made.”
“Ma,” I repeat, “you did a great job all on your own. Maybe my view of love is all screwed up but you raised me to be an independent, intelligent, capable woman and I think that’s worth a lot more than a fairy tale romance.”
Mom squeezed my hand and reached over to grasp Sandra’s. “I’m proud of that.” she admitted, gazing at the both of us, “but I wish that you two would have both.”
Sandra tucked a strand of straight brown hair behind her ear and smiled weakly, “We’ll be okay, Ma. We’ll all be okay. I promise.”
I winced. I hated when Sandra promised things that she could not guarantee. I did not want to disappoint Mom, but I seriously doubted that my heart would ever be able to function romantically again.
On Monday, I handed in my resignation and official two week notice. Though I hadn’t shared my move to Belize with anyone but Ginger, I knew the news would be all over the office by Wednesday. Our department gossip vine worked that way. All week, I waited for a visit from my ex-fiancé. Though I expected a reaction from Brian, I was too busy tying up loose ends and stuffing my items into two suitcases to care. The fact that I could just pack up my things and travel the world felt almost like a dream. I knew that a part of this new, adventurous me was due to my failed relationship. If I’d been content with Brian, I would have never considered this opportunity. In a way, I owed him for his cheating, backstabbing behavior.
Wednesday flowed into Friday which flowed back to Monday and Brian still had not ventured down the hall to my office or called my cell. His silence was both refreshing and alarming. I knew Brian and he did not give up so easily. I feared that he was up to something. Fortunately, I did not have time to dwell on that fear. I spent my last few days at the office handing over my responsibilities to Ginger and closing down my role in the department. On Friday, the crew in the Public Relations office bought a cake affectionately marked, ‘THIS CAKE IS POISON, YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME IF YOUR DEAD’ in edible icing. I ate a huge chunk of it.
In the midst of our revelry, I heard a low tenor voice singing “L-O-V-E’ by Nat King Cole. I tuned my ears to the sound and stepped through the office kitchen to the lobby. A strange man dressed in a gray suit and a tan fedora sang,
“L is for the way you look at me.”
Suddenly another man popped out of one of the empty offices, snapping his fingers and joining the other man in the center of the room,
“O is for the only one I see.”
A third man jumped forward from out of the elevator adding his snapping to the chorus,
“V is very very extraordinary.”
Together the trio sang, “E is even more than anyone that you adore.”
I got a sinking feeling and covered my eyes as I realized several things.
A: This performance was for my benefit.
B: Brian was behind the trio. I doubted my superiors would invest in a group singing about love just to wish me farewell.
C: The entire staff on my floor had their eyes trained on the scene. Some of them had their cell phones recording what I knew in my bones would become a disaster.
And then I saw Brian, dressed in a black tuxedo looking as dashing as ever. In the smoothest voice he sang,
“Two in love can make it, take my heart but please don’t break it.” Stepping closer to me, he removed the hand blocking my face from this spectacle and held it in his grasp. I could hear the phone cameras zooming in to capture this. “Love… was made for me and you.” The trio harmonized with him and it was truly a beautiful sound. Too bad my belly was gurgling and I wanted to faint from embarrassment. With everyone and God looking on, Brian got down on his knees.
“Brian,” I warned warily as my stomach protested again.
“Sh,” he made a sweeping sound and encompassed the trio, then in a loud voice he said, “I’ve asked this before and you’ve said yes before, but then I messed up.”
Something was not right. I put my hand to my mouth to hold in the bile as the entire office sighed an ‘awww’.
Brian continued, “I humbly ask you again, Susan Bevans will you marry me.”
Brian gazed at me with adoration in his eyes and I looked down at him with tears in mine. But my emotion did not stem from affection. Something in my belly was rioting. Before I knew it, I felt the contraction in my throat and watched in horror as vomit spewed from my mouth unto Brian’s upturned head.
“No,” I choked out between vomiting before I ran off to the nearest girl’s bathroom to wretch out my liver and probably a kidney or two. After heaving sufficiently, I rested my head against the stall door and wiped the sweat from my forehead. I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t believe that I’d ralphed on Brian. He didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserved that.
I saw a pair of sensible black pumps rush into the bathroom.
“Susan?” Ginger called.
“I’m in here.” I replied though I refused to open the door. I wanted to hide from the humiliation a little longer. “Is Brian okay?”
Hesitation sounded in Ginger’s voice as she quipped, “His ego is more damaged than anything else. But he’s fine.”
I groaned and closed my eyes wishing I could do over the last few hours.
“I have no idea what happened. I would never… I mean-”
“I talked to Phillip from Accounting.” Ginger interrupted.
“Phillip?” I questioned wondering what one had to do with the other. Phillip was a known prankster and had often been admonished for his childish behavior in the office. Unfortunately, he was also a relative of one of the board members so he was untouchable.
“He admitted to putting a bit of ipecac, which is a medicine that causes vomiting, in the cake as ‘poison’. He said he warned you and that you ate a huge piece of it anyway.”
“I thought the writing on the cake was a joke.”
Ginger’s voice was serious, “Apparently it was more than that. I’ve talked to the head of HR and Phillip has been fired. Someone could have seriously been hurt this time. He took things too far.”
I croaked out the next question as a statement. “Everyone was recording that.”
“Yeah,” Ginger replied.
“Is it too much to hope that they’d delete it?”
“Yeah.”
I moaned pitifully. This was the most horrifyingly disturbing day in the history of my life.
“Ginger, do you have a gun by chance?”
“No, why?”
“I was wondering if you could shoot me with it.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Later that evening, I chose to spend my last night with my family eating out at a fancy restaurant. They both thought that Brian’s proposal and my reaction to it were hilarious. It was too soon for me to laugh about it yet. I still wanted to sink into the earth any time I thought about his upturned face and hopeful eyes... and then the vomit splattering his cheeks. Soon, my mind settled on enjoying this outing. It was easy to be overtaken by the atmosphere in the pizzeria which was loud and fun. Mom and Sandra sipped on wine coolers while I went with a soda. My stomach still hadn’t successfully settled down yet, but I was determined to enjoy my pizza no matter the cost.
We were laughing and enjoying each other’s company when a young man in a backward baseball hat, black t-shirt, and blue jeans stepped up to our table.
“Excuse me ma’am.” He said, “Could I get an autograph.”
I looked expectantly at Mom. I assumed that the teenager wanted a signature from the woman who single-handedly saved the life of a baby in a Walmart bathroom.
“Miss, I’m talking to you.” he addressed me.
“Me?” I gazed at my sister and mother, “Why would you possibly want my signature?”
He gazed at me with joy and awe, “You’re The
Ejector.”
“I’m sorry.” I laughed warily at the young man. If he was emotionally unstable, I did not want to set him off. “You’re confusing me with the wrong person.”
He went for his pocket and my muscles seized, only relaxing when I noticed that it was just a cell phone. He quickly logged into his Facebook and tapped on a video. I sat in amazement as my face popped up on screen. There I was in high definition along with Brian, kneeling before me. The video Brian said,
“I’ve asked this before and you’ve said yes before. But then I messed up. I humbly ask you again, Susan Bevans, will you marry me?” Then the video me upchucked all over Brian’s head before squeaking out a low, but clearly audible ‘no’ and running away.
“You are so cool.” My young fan enthused as I gaped in open mouthed horror.
I grabbed his phone away, “How many people have seen this?”
For the first time, the young man noticed my uncomfortable expression and accommodated me. He exited the video and logged on to Youtube, quickly finding my video on there as well. “Uh, so far it has over one million views.” He said, being helpful. At the look on my face, he quickly clarified, “That number will increase by tomorrow.”
Mom and Sandra exchanged wide eyed glances. Feeling like I was sinking in quicksand, I got up from the table and ran straight toward the parking lot to entrap myself in the car.
“Wait, no autograph?” The young man called after me as I crashed through the doorway of the pizzeria. Mom and Sandra got the pizza ‘to go’ and we sped out of that place as though the bats of hell were on our tail. As soon as I got home, I dove for my laptop and booted it up, logging on to Youtube to read the comments and watch the horror play out over and over again. The strange young man was right. The number had doubled in the short time it had taken to drive from the restaurant back home. I read the comments, my face set in an unchangeable cringe.
THIS GIRL IS A FREAK, one statement read.
Another typed: GROSS, SO GROSS. BUT I CAN’T STOP WATCHING IT.
I noticed the RECOMMENDED videos at the side of the screen and clicked on one called “The Ejector parody”. Some AV savvy punk had taken the various sounds from the clip and exaggerated my vomiting. The video showcased me before the vomit and after the vomit over and over again, slowing down the spewing and focusing on Brian’s comical expression as he realized that I was indeed upchucking on his head. That video had 500,000 views.
Oh crap in a box.
Thank God I was leaving the country tomorrow. Hopefully, no one else asked for autographs. Poor Brian. This was supremely embarrassing for me. I couldn’t imagine how much more terrifying this whole phenomenon was for him.
“Sweetie, get off that laptop and stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Mom scolded, when she entered the kitchen later that night and saw me glued to the videos of my vomit, “You’re going to Belize tomorrow. How many people get to say that?”
“I know but-”
“No buts.” Mom chastised, “Come and show me some of the places you’re going to visit and then tell us all about it when you call and check in.”
Mom’s distraction worked. The more I researched on the country I’d be living in for the next twelve months, the more excited I grew. Belize was so insanely beautiful; I could hardly believe it was real. I couldn’t wait to experience the culture and eat more of the amazing food that Melody always boasted about. The phone rang and Sandra went to answer it.
“It’s for you, Sus,” she yelled from the living room. I got up from my place in the kitchen and accepted the phone from her.
“Hello Susan.”
“Brian. Hi.” I felt the awkwardness sweep over me. “I’m so sorry about vomiting on you. I really didn’t do it intentionally.”
“It’s okay,” he said, “Ginger told me about Phillip’s prank.”
I nodded although he could not see me. Uncomfortable silence pervaded the line.
“Is it really over… between us?”
“I think so.” I admitted.
“You don’t love me anymore?”
I closed my eyes and decided to be honest, “I will always love you, Brian.”
“So why won’t you give me another chance.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear in shock. After all the embarrassment and public humiliation, Brian still wanted to be with me?
“I can’t. You betrayed me and I won’t get over that easily.”
“I told you, the woman was a mistake and the Lovestruck thing was stupid and immature.”
“I’m glad you feel that way, but I’m not ready to trust you again. I wish you all the best. Goodbye.”
Acknowledging that this conversation was not going anywhere, I hung up the phone.
Sandra tiptoed into the room and glanced at me, “It’s all good?”
I nodded soberly, “It will be.
I said goodbye to my family at the airport and boarded the plane. The flight from Los Angeles to Belize was only two hours so I was setting foot in my new homeland in no time. After passing through Immigration, I stepped out of the doors and was immediately bombarded by the intense heat.
“Susan!” I heard a familiar voice yell. My three-month pregnant friend took off like a bullet from a gun and tackled me like a professional quarterback.
“Whoa, hey you.” I laughed.
“It’s so good to see you! Ask Spencer, I’ve been talking about this non-stop for weeks.”
Spencer Braden, Melody’s amazingly good looking husband came next to his wife and gently extricated her from her cobra-like hold on me.
“She’s been really excited.” He agreed. Marriage looked good on these people. I stepped back and observed my friend.
“You look gorgeous.” Melody’s cocoa brown skin glowed with her coming pregnancy. Her little baby bump was only slightly obvious underneath the adorable yellow summer dress that she wore. Her brown almond shaped eyes sparkled when she looked at her husband who smoothed down a strand of her curly hair with affection.
“You do too!” Melody yelled.
I turned to Spencer, “Why is she yelling?”
The handsome Asian man grinned at me. “I have no idea. She’s been really excited about your trip.” He repeated shrugging his shoulders. Melody frowned.
“I’m right here, you know!” she shouted.
“We know.” Both Spencer and I exclaimed at the same time.
Melody huffed and then acknowledged the group that stood by the car.
“Let me get your bags,” Spencer said before diving for my two huge suitcases. I stepped aside so he could move unhindered and followed my friend as she trotted across the street toward her friends.
“Guys,” she yelled at them, “This is Susan. Some of you met her at my wedding two years ago.” She gestured to the tall, African princess with long black hair standing next to a tall, white guy with piercing blue eyes and a charming smile. “I don’t know if you remember Peyton and Mia. They’re one year anniversary is next month.”
The couple dipped their head and greeted me. Melody then turned to a well-muscled, bearded guy with tattoos all over his arms and peeking on his chest revealed by the one unbuttoned fabric of his shirt. His screaming silver eyes looked right through me and I caught my breath. My spell-bound state was broken when a beautiful Creole girl with a freefalling bob and bangs snuggled into his side. “That’s Archie and his girlfriend Nicole.”
I waved, encompassing the entire diverse group. “Hi.”
Mia stepped forward and hugged me, “It’s great to see you again.”
“You too.” I hugged her back. All of these people were insanely beautiful. There must be something in the water.
The men nodded at me and I tried not to feel too awkward. I knew they had internet in Belize, I just hoped that my video had not come to their attention.
“You hungry?” Melody asked me innocently.
“Does it matter if I am?” I replied.
She hooked her elbow through mine and gri
nned at me, “You know me too well. I’ve been craving the fried chicken at Sky’s for so long.”
“The fried chicken alone is worth the plane ticket.” Peyton confided.
“He should know. He wants to eat it every day.” Mia tattled.
“Hey, I’m young.” Peyton defended playfully before sharing a steaming smile with his wife. I was surrounded by couples. It was hard not to get pulled back into desiring a relationship.
Nah… I was glad for my freedom.
The boisterous group moved toward a silver SUV.
“Can we all fit in there?” I asked.
“Trust me, Mia won’t mind sitting in her husband’s lap.”
“Mel, you can sit in Spencer’s and I can drive.” Archie joked.
“It won’t come to that.” The woman introduced as Nicole piped in. She seemed a bit uncomfortable with the group. I probably looked just like her right now. This rambunctious crowd was slightly overwhelming. Despite the ribbings and teasing, everyone fit into the car quite well although Nicole and I as the newcomers were relegated to the third row at the back far from the action. That was okay with me. I simply enjoyed rolling by the greenery, watching the birds flying in the cerulean blue sky and breathing in the cacophony at the front like a sweet perfume.
“You knew Melody in L.A.?” Nicole asked, striking up a conversation as we traveled to the restaurant.
“Yeah. I was her assistant and her friend. I was there in the early days of Spencer and Melody’s relationship.”
“That must have been really cool.” Nicole said kindly. I liked the fact that she was going out of her way to be nice to me. I admired her friendliness.
“It seems like everyone is getting married. How long have you and Archie been dating?” I asked.
“Are you trying to get us married too?” Nicole joked.
“What, no. I’m just asking.”
Nicole smiled, “I’m only kidding. We’ve been together for almost a year.”
“So you met right around the time that Mia and Peyton got married,” I connected the dots.
