by Nia Arthurs
He peered at me as if waiting for me to fill in the blanks. At first I was not getting it, but after a few beats of silence, I realized what Archie was proposing.
“She wants us to date? That’s crazy? Why would Nicole even-”
He shrugged and scrubbed at his scruff with the heel of his hand, “The only way I can win her back is if I “figure out” if there’s anything between us. If there’s nothing, she promised we can work things out… providing that she’s still available.”
“That’s crazy. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Archie pivoted in his seat and fixed me with his silver stare, “I know this is asking a lot…”
My eyes widened and I shook my head.
No, no, no.
“No, no, no.” I said aloud.
“Look Susan, this is the first time in a long time that I’ve had such a solid relationship with a girl. I care about Nicole and if this is what she needs then I’ll do it.”
“Yes, but I won’t. How could you ask this of me, after everything I told you about my engagement?”
“Hey, hey, I know.” He soothed me, “That’s why we’ll only be pretending.”
“Pretending?” I repeated.
“If everyone is so eager to push us together then we can give them what they want… but only so they’ll know we tried.”
My jaw dropped open, “Oh my gosh.”
“What?”
“You’re as crazy as she is.”
“Look Susan, I know you’re a nice girl and I meant what I said that day on the back porch… your ex-boyfriend’s a dirtbag-”
“Right, which is exactly why I promised myself I would never get into another relationship with someone who wasn’t honest with me.”
“I’m being honest with you. I promise, it will only be for a couple of months and then we can go back to being the regular friends that we are.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Just think about it. Please.”
I nodded to pacify him, unbuckled my seat belt and hopped out of the car. “Good night, Archie.” I said before making my way through the entrance of the complex. He climbed out of the car and ran up beside me.
“I forgot to tell you something.” I halted in my tracks and peered up at him. The light from the streetlamp cast his face in a mix of light and shadow, but I could still make out the earnestness in his eyes when he said, “Whatever you decide, I still plan on getting to know you better.” With a nod, he trotted back to his car and started the engine. I gazed after his truck long after it departed into the distance.
How could Archie even breathe a word of such a harebrained proposal? I wasn’t that kind of girl. And yet, the pull of his plan spoke to me in such a genuine way. He was gracious enough to let me know exactly what I was getting into if I agreed to this. Ugh, I wrestled with the apartment door and stepped through the threshold, pocketing my keys. I had bigger things to worry about, like apologizing to my boss and best friend for yelling at them and preparing for an oral presentation for Peter’s class on Monday. Archie and his fake dating proposal would have to wait until later.
CHAPTER NINE
As much as I did not want to go to church the next morning, I dragged myself out of bed and did so anyway. I knew I needed to make amends and what better place to do it than in a sanctuary where forgiveness was a way of life? I showered and pulled on a soft white dress with a pair of low heeled tan pumps and then locked my apartment. As I made my way toward the Holy Ghost Gym, I practiced my apology.
I shouldn’t have lashed out on you. I’m dealing with something else right now and I took it out on my friends. I’m sorry.
A blue bird chirped right next to my ear and rattled me out of my reverie. I jumped, startled by how friendly it was. The bird landed on a tree branch right in front of me. I kept my eye on it as I walked on. It followed me with precocious persistence.
“What do you want, birdie? I don’t have any food.”
The bird tilted its head, appearing to say, “You really think I want your stinkin’ food?”
“That’s rude.” I chastised the bird and then realized that I was talking to a bird and that I probably shouldn’t in case someone saw and carted me off to the crazy house. I turned my attention to the houses in the neighborhood. Some were made of cement and others of board. Some houses had concrete fences with fancy designs, some had zinc fences, and others had no gate at all. Many of the locals had their clothing hanging out to dry on the clothesline. Children played in the street, chasing each other up and down in their fancy church clothes as their mothers tried to coral them into submission. Sunday mornings in Belize was so different from Sundays in Los Angeles. My city never slept and Sunday was just another day. Here things had a distinctly slower pace. Even the weather grew more balmy and laidback with a gentle breeze blowing away the worries of the week. I hoped that my outburst last night would blow out of my friends’ memories just as quickly.
A few minutes later, I stepped into the lobby of Holy Ghost Gym and spotted Mia. She came over and hugged me. Startled by her kind reaction, I hugged her back.
“I’m so sorry,”
“I’m really sorry.”
We both said at the same time.
“You first.” I allowed her to speak.
“Mel and I shouldn’t have pushed you into anything you’re not ready for. We get carried away sometimes. We just want our friends to be happy.”
“I understand and I shouldn’t have been so rude last night. I apologize.”
“No apologies necessary,” she hooked her arm around mine, “everything’s fine.”
“So, I’m not fired?” I asked hesitantly.
“Honey, if I fired you just for speaking your mind I wouldn’t be a good friend or a good boss. Of course you’re not fired.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Mia walked with me inside and we found our row. Melody spotted me and her contrite face broke my heart. Both of my friends only wanted my best interest and I reacted in a toxic way.
“It’s all good.” Mia nodded at me.
“I’m glad. I’m so sorry, Susan.” Melody’s eyes began to water and I felt even more like dirt.
“I am too. Please don’t cry or you’ll make me tear up.”
“It’s the hormones,” She explained, “I cry about everything. But I’m so glad you’re not angry at me. You know I love you.”
“I do,” I squeezed her hand and then let her go. “What happened after I left?” I asked, curious to see how things had gone down from their perspective. They followed me to the chairs and sat down on either side of me, their faces intent as they recounted the story,
“Nicole saw Archie’s face when you left.” Mia began.
“There was something in his eyes,” Melody agreed.
“And she got angry again. She stormed out in the opposite direction.” Mia explained and then Melody took up the tale,
“Archie followed her first. We all spied on him through the window of course. They got into an argument and then Archie came back into the house, picked up his car keys and went after you. Nicole got into her own vehicle and drove home.”
“So none of you heard what they argued about?” I questioned.
Melody leaned out in the chair and blew out a huge breath that caused the curls on her forehead to balloon with the breeze, “I wish. He didn’t tell us anything when he came back home.”
I glanced up at the pulpit and caught Archie’s eye. I hadn’t realized that he had already arrived. When he caught sight of me, his grip on the guitar grew lax. If it hadn’t been strapped around his shoulder the expensive instrument would have crashed to the ground. I looked away, but not before I noticed Melody and Mia eyeing me with awe.
“What did he say to you last night?” Mia asked suspiciously, her gaze moving from the fumbling guitarist to me.
“Nothing major,” I said breezily focusing on the fabric of the seat’s cushio
n.
“I don’t believe you.” Melody insisted.
I glanced up again and noticed the band strumming up a song. “Sh. The thing is starting.”
Whew, nice save. I put the girls off for a few hours. Unfortunately, I knew they would not let the matter go so easily.
Pastor Stanley was a man with boundless energy. He needed an extended stage or a bigger church to pace. At first I zoned out of his message. The theme for this morning was love, and I’d had my share of that, so I was quite fine… thank you very much. Instead, I noted his balding head, the sweat lining his forehead, making the bald spot on his crown turn shiny and the dark spots gathering on his gray suit. I wondered if his wife still found him attractive. I’m sure Mr. Stanley had been quite a looker in his day. Sadly, his day had passed.
“A lot of people think that love is an emotion, but this is a misunderstanding. Love has no feeling.”
My ears tuned in to this crazy talk and I snapped to attention. What did the Preacher Man mean? Love was all about feelings, happy feelings of hope and joy. Love was like Christmas morning every day.
“Love is not Christmas morning all the time.” I gasped. Did he read my mind? Mia gave me a weird look and I quickly closed my mouth, tuning in to hear what else the pastor had to say. “Love is a choice. Jesus tasked us to love our neighbors and love our enemies. If he meant ‘have nice feelings’ toward our neighbors I could probably understand, but it is almost impossible to ‘have nice feelings’ for our enemies. Feelings of affection are simply chemicals in the brain. Chemicals can change. In fact, the chemicals producing attraction can be stimulated when you look at someone … but they can be reproduced when you look at someone else. Love is not attraction. It is not lust. It is not a feeling. Love is the response of understanding the value of a thing.” He paced the end of the row and stared down his congregation, “Oh you missed it.”
He did a little jig and the organist played a riff. I smiled. This reminded me of the televangelists I watched on T.V. once… except Pastor Stanley made a lot more sense than the famous preacher that had spoken on the television that night.
“Some men have their car for a longer period than they have their marriages.” A murmur rose up from the congregation and I saw everyone nodding their heads. “The man values his car more than he values his wife. He’ll wash it and wax it and take it for regular service checkups, but his wife gets nothing!” He paused and then strode to the other end of the building, “If my wife has a $50,000 bracelet, she would never keep that with the bracelet she bought for $2.00. You see when you value something everyone can see it.” He stomped his foot on the ground beat at his chest. “Lord Jesus this is going right over their heads.”
A few parishioners stood up and yelled, “Amen! Hallelujah!”
“When you value something you care for it. To care means to anticipate a need and meet it. To care means I outthink you. I don’t let you ask for anything. If next week you’ll decide that you want a bracelet, I’ll give you a bracelet tomorrow before you even know that you need a fancy bracelet.”
“Amen!” Melody shot a knowing glance at her husband. He grinned mischievously at her. That was obviously an inside joke.
“I’m explaining love through material things, but truthfully the theory applies to simple things like sweeping the house before she gets home or giving her massage even before she asks for it. That kind of love is agape love. Agape is the only love that remains even when there is nothing in it for you.”
Pastor Stanley stared me down and I surreptitiously glanced behind me to see if indeed I was in his frame of vision. “Finding agape is not a matter of moving on feelings. By all means go on a date, but take your notebook. Discover if your vision matches this man or woman who says he wants to love you. Ask him if he plans on caring for you forever without expecting anything back.” Pastor Stanley finally looked away and chuckled, placing on hand on a man in the first row he quipped, “That will probably be the last date you have with that person.”
After a few closing statements, Pastor Stanley uttered the closing prayer and everyone milled about greeting each other and talking. Archie came up behind me and took me to the side for privacy.
“Susan, I wanted to apologize about last night. I was way out of line for asking you to do that and I-”
“I’ll do it.”
“What? You will?” His eyebrows arched in stunned surprise. “What changed your mind?”
“The message this morning.”
“Really?” He inquired. “Not to take away from my enthusiasm but what did that have to do with this.”
“I don’t know how to explain it.” I shrugged and turned so that I faced Peyton and Mia and Melody and Spencer, “If you’re going through all of this just to keep her, she must mean something to you. And I’m kind of the reason you’re not together anymore. I want to help.”
“I don’t see it that way, but I won’t argue with you. I really appreciate this, Susan.”
“No problem.”
“So we’re officially playing this game.” He sighed. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now.”
“You can start by hugging me, fake-boyfriend,” I suggested.
“Oh right.” He leaned down and hugged me. “I appreciate this.”
“I just hope it doesn’t backfire on you. I’m a great fake-girlfriend if I do say so myself.”
He chuckled and we went to join the others. I noticed Pastor Stanley was around my crew as I drew nearer. It was too late to run away. They’d already spotted me.
“Hi,” I greeted the Preacher Man.
“Hello, Susan. Melody’s been telling me a lot about you.” he shook my hand and lowered his voice, “She’s really excited that you’re here.”
“So I’ve heard.” I replied and he winked at me. Were pastors allowed to wink at their parishioners?
“Would you all like to come over for lunch?”
“We would love to.” Mia accepted for all of us.
“Thank you, Pastor, because I hadn’t even started my Sunday dinner yet.” Mrs. Reyes informed us.
Pastor Stanley grinned and wiped at his shiny forehead, “It’s no problem.” He soon left to greet his other patrons and I stepped closer to Archie as he discussed the rising gas prices with Peyton. Mia noted my position but kept her mouth shut.
“Should we divide the vehicles?” Melody, always the control freak, intoned. “Mom and Dad drove with me. Archie did you bring your vehicle?”
“I did.” He nodded.
“Okay, Susan would you like to come with us or-”
“She’s coming with me.” Archie interrupted the bossy Belizean woman. Melody’s eyes almost popped open. “Uh-okay. Will Nicole be joining us?” Melody asked softly but everyone knew what she was really asking.
Archie cleared his throat nervously, “Ah, no. She is not.”
I glared at him. Archie sounded like he was reciting a play in the third grade, a time when everyone was terrible at acting. I whopped him hard in the abs. He doubled over and everyone stared at me as though I were insane.
“Whoops, reflexes.” I explained.
“Yeah, be careful with those… reflexes.” Archie cautioned in a hoarse voice. The group grudgingly accepted our explanation and moved toward the front of the church and then separated to their respective vehicles. As soon as we got into the car, Archie whirled on me,
“Did you have to stick me in the stomach?”
“Did you have to sound so robotic? Gosh!”
“I thought I was acting natural.” Archie returned.
“That’s the problem. You can’t act.”
“Hey!”
I rolled my eyes, “List three things off the top of your head that you like about me.”
He glanced my way to gauge my sincerity and then gave in, “Three things?”
I nodded.
He thoughtfully replied, “I like your hair. It’s this really unique color but it suits you.”
“Okay that’
s one. What else?”
He cast about for an answer and I laughed.
“It’s that hard, Hamilton?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to come off like I’m flirting with you.”
“Don’t overcomplicate this. Just say anything that is on the top of your head.”
“Well, I guess I like your bubbly personality.” He added. “I’m the opposite. Sometimes I draw back and...” He looked a bit embarrassed and his words trailed. “Anyway, I like that about you.”
“Anything else?”
He groaned, “I don’t know why this is so hard.”
“Come on, Tiger, last one.”
“I like the way you argue with me.”
“Huh.”
“No, I do. You say what you think and you don’t change your mind, you defend it until the end.” He grinned briefly at me before returning his attention to the road. “I like that.”
“Fine, focus on that. Don’t pretend with me.”
He nodded and muttered, “Don’t pretend.”
Though I understood that the compliments had been an indifferent exercise so Archie could become more comfortable with our new roles, I felt warmth erupt in my chest as I recalled his words. I couldn’t help the reaction and hoped that it would go away before they developed into real feelings.
CHAPTER TEN
“We’re here.” Archie announced and pulled up behind the caravan of SUV’s and trucks lined up on the curb of a small, yellow bungalow house with a white picket fence and a well maintained lawn. I got out of the car and followed Archie to the front. The large group strolled into the sunny house and filed out to fill the living room sofas and ottoman.
“Do you need help in the kitchen, Cecilia?” Mrs. Reyes addressed the Pastor’s wife.
“No thank you. I’ve got it. I’m afraid everyone can’t fit in the dining room. I was thinking we could eat in the living room today.”
“Sounds good to me.” Mrs. Reyes nodded as everyone shuffled into the hall.
“Well, shall we pray over the food?” Pastor Stanley clapped his hands together almost gleefully. Whoa, the guy either really liked to pray or he really liked to eat.
