‘We always do our best,’ he said wryly. But then he patted her shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her.’
He went through the doors leading into the ward and Verity turned back to where the others were waiting for her. Maggie was talking heatedly, and as Verity came up she heard her say, ‘But how could cultivated mushrooms possibly give you food poisoning? Mrs Chivers would surely have realized if ….’ She saw Verity and broke off abruptly. ‘Let’s go home; you both look terrible.’
‘I want to stay’ Verity began. ‘She might wake up in the night and need someone.’
But Sebastian said forcefully, ‘No, you’re going home. All Paula needs now is sleep.’ And, taking her arm, he led her firmly towards the main door. Verity resisted him for a moment, but suddenly found that she couldn’t defy the authority in his voice and let him take her outside.
Maggie insisted on driving, and neither Verity nor Sebastian argued. Verity sat in the back, her eyes closed, her head against the upholstery. She felt terribly tired, as if all her strength had been drained out of her, but the guilt and the worry were still there, hardly alleviated at all by the doctor’s reassurance.
When they reached the house Maggie insisted on seeing her up to her room so there was no opportunity to be alone with Sebastian, and somehow she didn’t want to apologise to him in front of his mother. And he looked quite ill now, spent and exhausted. Dimly it came to Verity that it must have taken a great deal of strength and determination for Sebastian to have taken care of Paula as he had without saying a word about his own illness. They owed him a great deal, but now wasn’t the time to tell him that, either.
She didn’t sleep that night, just lay in bed, mentally praying for her friend, and by six o’clock she couldn’t stand it any longer and went downstairs in her nightdress to phone the hospital. They merely told her that there was no change, which in itself was good news, she supposed, although it didn’t do much to alleviate her anxiety.
‘How is she?’ Sebastian was coming down the stairs, a robe pulled loosely over his pyjamas, or at least over his pyjama trousers—his chest was obviously bare.
Even then, when her mind was full of anxiety, Verity felt a stirring of awareness as she saw the smoothness of his skin. She wanted to go to him, touch him, run her hands over the rippling hardness of his chest. To be held and caressed as he had caressed her last night.
Last night when she should have been with Paula! The thought hit her like a blow and brought a sense of shame that made her say shortly, ‘She’s still the same.’
He came across the hall to put a comforting arm round her, but Verity moved away, her head down, not looking at him. Sebastian gave her an assessing glance. ‘Is something troubling you. Verity?’
‘Paula’s been terribly ill. She could have died! She still might lose the baby. Isn’t that trouble enough?’ she burst out on an anguished note.
‘Yes, of course. But is it any reason to shut me out?’
She bit her lip. ‘I’m sorry, I haven’t asked you how you feel.’
‘Thank you, I’m perfectly well again now.’
‘And yesterday; I’m afraid I didn’t thank you for helping Paula the way you did when you were feeling terrible yourself,’ she said in a small, formal tone.
His voice rough, he said, ‘You don’t have to thank me and you know it. Damn it, Verity, what is it?’
‘Don’t you dare swear at me!’ she retorted, her voice rising.
She went to go past him to reach the stairs, but he caught her wrist and swung her round. ‘Tell me!’
For a moment she fought him, beating her fist against his chest, but then Sebastian put his arms round her in a bear-hug, imprisoning her against him. Verity felt the hardness of his body through the thin material of their nightclothes and a great wave of sensuousness filled her, and with it a need to be comforted and have everything put right. She gave a great sob and burst into tears.
‘Verity, sweetheart.’ His lips chased a tear down her cheek and kissed it away. ‘What is it?’
i should have been here last night! I wasn’t here when Paula was ill and needed me.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Verity glanced up, and through her tears
surprised a look of relief in Sebastian’s face. ‘But
that’s nonsense, really it is. How could you possibly
have known that?’
‘Oh, nol Have you heard from the hospital? Has something dreadful happened to Paula?’ Maggie came running down the stairs towards them, her dressing-gown held round her and a look of fear on her face.
‘No, it’s all right,’ Sebastian assured her quickly. ‘Things just got a bit much for Verity, that’s all. The hospital said that Paula’s still OK.’
‘Oh, thank goodness! For a terrible moment…’ Maggie visibly pulled herself together and looked at them with relief, her eyes widening a little when she saw how closely her son was holding their guest. ‘I think we could all do with a cup of tea,’ she said briskly. ‘Last night was one of the worst I’ve ever known. Verity, my dear, perhaps you ought to put something more on; we don’t want you going down with a cold,’ she said tactfully as she walked towards the kitchen.
‘Oh, yes, of course.’ Verity extracted herself from Sebastian’s arms, conscious now of how the silk material must cling to her figure. She lifted a finger to wipe away the tears and ran upstairs. At the top she turned to go to her room and glanced down. Sebastian was standing where she had left him, watching her, with such a look of flaring desire in his eyes that she gasped aloud in recognition. She stood there for a long moment, their glances locked, so totally on the same wavelength that she could almost feel the heat of his need for her. But then she gave a little cry and tore herself away from that smouldering gaze to run to her room.
She didn’t go down again, instead throwing herself back into bed and pulling the covers up around her neck, feeling quite unable to face Sebastian. Maggie brought the cup of tea up to her and stayed to chat, her words so reassuring that it was soon evident that Sebastian must have told her about Verity’s guilt feelings. ‘We can none of us blame ourselves,’ she said soothingly. ‘It was pure chance that you were the one who didn’t like mushrooms, or you would have been ill, too. But Paula is going to need you now, to help pass the time away while she’s in hospital, and to reassure her when she worries about the baby.’
Verity nodded, glad that there was something useful she could do, but said, ‘I just don’t understand how the mushrooms could have made her so ill.’
‘No, nor do I.’ Maggie agreed, a frown of deep anxiety in her eyes. ‘But we don’t know for sure it was that; it might have been something else.’
Maggie left soon afterwards, and Verity got dressed and drove to Melford, impatiently waiting for the florist’s to open so that she could buy a basket of flowers to take into Paula. She spent nearly the whole day at the hospital, holding Paula’s hand, talking to her, anxiously looking for any signs of improvement in the pale, weak figure, and often being rewarded with a smile that gave her great encouragement. Sebastian looked in in the afternoon, bringing with him a huge bouquet of golden chrysanthemums, but Paula was asleep and didn’t see him. He beckoned Verity outside into the corridor and she went reluctantly, afraid to leave Paula in case she woke.
‘I won’t keep you more than a moment. I just wanted to tell you that a health inspector came to see me this morning; evidently all cases of food poisoning have to be reported. He said that there must have been toadstools mixed up with the mushrooms. Just a few, not very many, not enough to kill us or anything, but quite enough to have made Paula and me ill.’
Her eyes widening in horror, Verity said, ‘But how could toadstools have got mixed up with ordinary mushrooms? Surely the shop where they were bought would have…..?’
‘They weren’t bought in a shop,’ Sebastian interrupted. ‘Mother spoke to Mrs Chivers this morning and it seems that the mushrooms Mother had bought were used up earlier, but as Mrs Ch
ivers knew that Paula has such a great fancy for them she bought some off Old Taffy.’
‘Who on earth is that?’
‘He’s a very old man who lives in the village. To earn some money he goes out early in the mornings to pick mushrooms, and he sells them and stuff that he grows in his garden to people in the village. We can only think that the poor old boy’s eyes are going and that he mistook some toadstools for mushrooms.’
‘But Mrs Chivers—surely she noticed the difference?’
Sebastian shook his head. ‘She was brought up in a town; she’s been buying mushrooms from Old Taffy for years and just naturally assumed that they were all right, the same as they’ve always been. She feels terrible about what’s happened, of course.’ He put his hands on Verity’s arms. ‘So, you see, in no way were you to blame.’
But she shook her head stubbornly. ‘I should have been there.’
Sebastian looked as if he was going to protest, but some nurses came along, wheeling a patient, and he straightened up. ‘We’ll talk some other time. Mother and I will come back this evening to see Paula.’ But before he let her go he pulled her to him and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Verity’s eyes flew to his, her heart fluttering a little at this sign of possession, but then she drew quickly back. He gave a wry kind of grin, then lifted a hand in farewell before striding away.
Verity went back into Paula’s room, and when Paula woke told her about the toadstools.
‘I shall never eat another mushroom as long as I live,’ Paula said with a great shudder. ‘I really felt as if I was going to die. In fact, it was so painful I almost wanted to die.’
‘Oh, Paula, don’t, please. I was so afraid for you.’
Paula squeezed her hand. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to give you a fright.’ A bleak expression came into her face. ‘We don’t seem to have had much luck since we came to Layton House, do we? First you get knocked down and nearly killed, and now this.’
Verity lifted her head to stare at her. ‘No,’ she agreed hollowly. ‘We don’t, do we?’
CHAPTER SIX
The week that Paula was in the hospital passed terribly slowly at first. During the first couple of days she had several bouts of depression, but Verity was always there to comfort or talk her out of them, and luckily Paula’s condition improved and she bounced back remarkably quickly as soon as she was sure she wasn’t going to lose the baby. The day she came home they had a celebration dinner, but ‘definitely no mushrooms’, as Maggie said firmly.
Paula laughed ruefully. ‘No, I shall have to find something else to crave.’ She looked around at them and smiled. ‘You’ve all been so kind to me, coming to visit me and sending the flowers; I really feel as if I’m part of the Layton family now.’
‘Of course you are,’ Maggie responded at once. ‘Why, you were my stepson’s wife, and that makes you the equivalent of a daughter-in-law, you know.’ She looked at Verity and seemed about to say something, but then smiled and changed her mind.
Verily fussed around Paula for a couple more days, trying to make up for letting her down, until Paula turned round and firmly told her to stop behaving like a mother hen. ‘I’m fine now, really. And it’s time we got started on the nursery or it won’t be ready when the baby arrives.’
Verity opened her mouth to protest, but recognised the stubborn lift to Paula’s chin and shut it again, knowing that she would be wasting her time. ‘OK, so let’s get to work,’ she said with a happy grin.
When Sebastian came home from his office late that afternoon he found the old nursery almost completely cleared of its contents and Verity whistling contentedly as she stripped off the old wallpaper. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the jamb, an amused smile on his lips as he watched her work. Bending to pull off a piece near the floor, Verity noticed him and straightened up. ‘Hi.’
‘Hello.’ He strolled over to her and looked at the wall she was working on. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Quite well, really, although there must be half a dozen layers of paper on the wall. Didn’t decorators ever strip the paper off in the old days?’
‘Evidently not. Didn’t you know that old houses are held together by wallpaper inside and ivy outside?’ he told her teasingly.
‘Well, I hope the place doesn’t fall apart when I get this lot off.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if you found some cracks.’ He turned towards her. ‘Where’s Paula, isn’t she supervising?’
‘She was, but she’s having a rest now.’
‘And Mother’s out, so that gives us a chance to have a talk, doesn’t it?’ Sebastian said firmly, his eyes regarding her steadily.
‘Do we—do we need to have a talk?’ Verity temporised, her heart immediately beginning to beat faster.
‘Definitely. But first I think wc need to do this.’ And, drawing her to him, Sebastian took her in his arms and kissed her.
It had been a long time; not since that morning after Paula had been taken ill had they been together like this. That she could have gone to him for comfort, Verity knew, but she also knew that it wouldn’t have stopped at comfort and she couldn’t have coped with that complication when Paula was so ill. Even now she held back a little, almost afraid of this overwhelming sexual awareness she felt whenever he held her. And often when he didn’t; there wasn’t a day or night now when she didn’t think of him and hunger for his touch.
Sebastian raised his head and she opened her eyes to find him watching her, his left eyebrow raised questioningly. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a hesitating tone. ‘I haven’t been very—very receptive lately, have I?’
‘And you’re still not.’ He ran a finger lightly down her profile and stopped at her lips. ‘Not completely. But now that Paula’s better maybe we can rectify that.’
‘How—how do you mean?’ Verity murmured against his finger, turning each word into a kiss.
Sebastian smiled. ‘By seeing more of each other, for a start.’ He bent to bite her ear-lobe, his lips pulling gently, and let his hand move on down her chest to lightly brush her breast.
Just that feather touch was enough; Verity quivered and lifted her hands to his shoulders, her hips arching in involuntary desire. He dragged her to him then, his arms holding her pressed tightly against him in a sudden wave of hunger. His lips took hers fiercely, passionately, sending her mind reeling, her senses lost in a roaring tide of sensuality.
‘Verity! Darling.’ He kissed her eyes and her throat, raging kisses that made her give little moans of excitement. ‘Come out with me tonight,’ he said thickly.
‘We’ll have dinner and then we’ll dance. Say yes, Verity.’
‘What?’ Verity put her hands against his chest and held him away from her, her senses whirling so much that she had hardly taken in what he said. ‘What did you say?’
He laughed and, taking hold of her hands, kissed her palms. ‘I merely asked you to have dinner with me tonight. There’s a nightclub in Melford where you can eat and dance, and then we…..’
‘No!’ Verity broke away from him. ‘You know I can’t leave Paula.’
He became still, his eyes on her agitated face, and then straightened up. ‘You’re forgetting that Mother will be here. I’m not asking you to leave her on her own.’
‘I’m sorry, Sebastian, but that doesn’t make any difference. Paula might need me.’
His face hardened. ‘And what about your needs? Or mine, for that matter? It’s been over a week since I’ve even been able to kiss you. How long are you going to go on playing nursemaid?’
Verity frowned. ‘Just so long as she needs me, of course.’
‘You’re not Paula’s servant,’ Sebastian said harshly. ‘Neither-are you her wife.’
‘Well, of course not!” Verity retorted indignantly. ‘But I am her friend. I’m all she’s got, Sebastian. I let her down terribly badly once because of….’ She broke off abruptly ‘—and I’m not going to do it again,’ she finished.
‘Which brings us back to tha
t talk we were going to have,’ Sebastian said grimly. ‘And I see now that you’re not only blaming yourself, but me as well.’
‘No, it isn’t like that,’ Verity protested. ‘Of course I don’t blame you. You were marvellous when you were so ill yourself. I don’t know anyone else who could be so strong. I only wish that I had been as strong. But I wasn’t; I wanted to go out into the garden with you and I—I hardly gave Paula a thought.
‘Well, I suppose that’s something.’ He gave her a brooding look. ‘All right, I agree, maybe we shouldn’t have left her, although how we were supposed to guess that… But if that’s the case then I’m as much to blame as you, and we’ve both been taught a lesson. Neither of us would dream of leaving Paula alone now. But surely you realise that she’ll be perfectly safe with my mother?’
Verity hesitated, shaking her head worriedly. Common sense told her that he was right, but somewhere deep in her heart she had this instinctive fear that something terrible might happen to Paula again if she wasn’t there to look after her. ‘I’m sorry, but I feel that I must be with her—just until the baby is born.’
‘But that’s three months! Are you seriously trying to tell me that you’re going to act as Paula’s shadow for all that time? You can’t possibly mean that.’
Verity raised large, unhappy eyes to meet his. ‘I’m sorry, I’m afraid I do.’
‘And what about me?’ he demanded, his voice rising in the anger of rejection.
‘We’ll be in the same house. We’ll see each other all the time.’
‘You mean when you have an odd half-hour to spare, when you’re not running around behind Paula,’ Sebastian said sneeringly.
Goaded, she turned on him angrily. ‘Don’t be so darn selfish! I came here to look after Paula until she has the baby, and that’s what I’m going to do. You’re just like every other man—you just want to be the centre of attention. Well, this time you definitely come second!’
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