by Jamie Pope
Victor nodded. “You should talk to your mother. Really talk to her. I think you’ll understand her a little better or at least understand why I fell in love with her so hard.”
Derek nodded. “One day.”
“Don’t wait too long.” He stood up. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but I would love to have dinner with you and your lovely girlfriend soon. I’ve missed this island. I think I’ll be coming back here more.”
His father walked out before Derek could wrap his head around what had just happened.
His parents were speaking again. He didn’t know what was going to happen between them, but he was sure he wasn’t going to get in the middle of it. If there was one thing he’d learned in these past few months it was that sometimes he just had to worry about his own happiness.
“Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, are you busy?” His happiness had just walked through the door.
He stood up, surprised and unbelievably happy to see her. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for another two days.”
“I came home early.” She dropped her bag and rushed toward him. “I missed you.”
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly to him. How did he go without this feeling for so long? “I thought you were heading to New York last night. You were at the airport when we last spoke. Did things go poorly?”
“No. They went really, really well. Everyone is incredibly nice and beautiful and they all have great clothes. It’s a great company to work for.”
“But...”
“I kept thinking I wish I had never met you.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s a compliment. I couldn’t concentrate. I kept thinking about you and what you were doing and how long it would be till I could speak to you again. How am I supposed to be my own person when every thought and action is tied up in you?”
A tear slid down her face, and he caught it with his thumb. “I don’t know. It’s something you’re going to have to figure out because you’re not allowed to end this, remember?”
“I know. I’m not ending this.”
Yet. He was expecting her to say yet, but it hadn’t come.
* * *
Ava sat on the sand, watching the waves violently crash against the shore. The wind had kicked up in the last hour, blowing her hair and dress wildly, but she couldn’t force herself to move. This tiny beach just down the road from her house was like paradise for her. Even with a storm moving closer to the island, she still found it peaceful. She could think here, think about how much her life had changed since she’d come here in April. It was early September now, and she hadn’t planned to be on the island this long. But a few weeks had turned into a few months, and her annoying next-door neighbor somehow turned into the love of her life. She went from being unemployed to having a dream job fall into her lap. This should be the happiest time in her life, but she was feeling so damn confused. She didn’t trust her instincts anymore. She didn’t know what was right.
She hadn’t realized that her entire family hated the man she was going to marry. She had no clue he had been splitting his time with his other family. She had given up everything for a man who didn’t really love her, and she had been blindsided when it all came crashing down. What if that happened to her with Derek? What if she were missing the signs again? She couldn’t take another heartbreak. She had been trying to keep her distance because she knew that this time would be worse. But she had failed miserably and only ended up loving him more.
“Ava?”
Derek sat down beside her on the beach. “I thought I would find you here. I was worried about you.” She looked up at him. He was in a green hooded sweatshirt and in his hand was a sweatshirt for her. “Put this on. It’s getting cold.”
The gesture made her smile. It was one of his sweatshirts. He could have grabbed one of her jackets, but he knew she liked this sweatshirt of his. She liked the way it smelled like him. She liked putting something on her body that had been pressed against his. He was so thoughtful, always. He didn’t give her big, lavish gifts, but it was the small things. Picking up her favorite ice cream when he left work, sitting through romantic comedies that must have bored him to tears, bringing her trinkets he’d seen in stores that made him think of her. A high-heeled-shoe key chain, a pen with a fire design, one of those paperweights in the shape of a diamond ring. He joked that no one would be able to give her a bigger ring than him.
He loved her. He must, right? Only he hadn’t said it. Not once. He hadn’t asked her not to take the job. He had only been supportive. He had even bought her a brand-new designer briefcase when she had gone to Miami.
She wanted him to ask her not to go. She wanted to hear that he loved her. She wanted to hear that he wanted to make his home on the island with her and he wouldn’t settle for anything else. But he was leaving it completely up to her. Maybe because he was unsure of them. Unsure they could make a life together.
He wouldn’t pressure her for it, and that made her hate him a little, but it also made her love him even more. The only one she could blame for her decision was herself, so it had to be the right one or she would never forgive herself.
“You always know where to find me. It makes it damn hard to hide from you.”
“That’s because I put a tracking chip inside your arm one night while you were sleeping.”
“Did you?” She laughed. “I thought that was a rather large mosquito bite.”
“Are you really trying to hide from me?”
“Not for long. The sex is too good.” She leaned against him, and for a moment they were both quiet as they stared at the ocean. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but we can’t sit here much longer.”
“Stupid hurricanes ruining my navel-gazing.”
“I want you to pack a bag. I’m going to take you to the other side of the island to your brother’s house. His house is built to withhold a storm this size.”
Storms had made her uneasy her entire life, and this one was projected to be the biggest one the island had seen in years. Rationally she knew that being with her family at her brother’s home was the best place she could be, but she didn’t want to be there without Derek. He was her safe place.
“Where are you going to be?”
“I’m the head of the emergency response team. Part of our job is to prepare the island before a disaster strikes so that lives are saved. I’m going to be evacuating the houses that are in the direct path of the storm and helping our citizens board up the businesses on the waterfront. Then I’m going to be at the community center all night. That’s where most of the evacuated families will be staying.”
“And you are planning to stick me at my brother’s house?”
“Yes. This is more than just thundershowers. It’s a hurricane. I need you someplace safe.” As soon as he said the words, the first drops of rain hit them. “I won’t be able to work unless I know you are.” He stood up and pulled her to her feet.
“I can help prepare for the storm. I want to.”
“Ava.” He shut his eyes briefly. “Please. Just go to your brother’s house. I need you to do this for me.”
“And I won’t be able to think about anything else all night if I know you are out there combing the streets for foolish people and runaway animals.”
“I won’t be.”
“I won’t be going to my brother’s house, either. I’ll pack a bag, but I’m going with you and you can’t stop me.”
* * *
He couldn’t stop her from coming with him. She had been by his side the entire day as the storm grew closer and the wind started to tear apart the island. He knew she was terrified of storms. It was wrong of him, but he liked when there was a storm, when she would sleep so close to him, her body wrapped tightly around his, her nos
e buried in his neck. But today, even though he could see her discomfort, she was a force to be reckoned with. Ava had incredible organization skills. She could get people to mobilize in a way that he couldn’t.
She had gotten teenagers to help, young men and women who were quick and strong and by 3:00 p.m. they had boarded up fifteen restaurants and homes. By five, when the storm was dumping buckets of water down on them and the waves were eating away at the sand on the beach, they had evacuated most of the families who lived on the water and gotten everyone to safety.
Ava had card games going and bingo that night at the center. She had designated a room for movies and a quiet room just for reading or conversations. His grandmother, cousin and aunts had come, even though their homes weren’t on the evacuation route and they had cooked large vats of soups and made more than a hundred sandwiches. It was almost like a party, designed by Ava to keep their minds off the destruction happening outside. Derek was very aware, though. Most of the windows had been covered in the front of the building where everyone was gathered but not in the back of the building. Every half hour or so he slipped away to look outside. He could barely see, only sheets of water and trees that were being violently pulled by the strong winds. Every once in a while he would see an object pass by the window, a picnic table, a bicycle. Objects heavy enough to cause major damage to a lot of property. He was worried about his little island, terrified for the devastation that might be caused.
This storm had come out of nowhere. They were as prepared as they could be. But this was one of those things where the outcome was completely unpredictable. And Derek knew that one major storm could decimate this island, the recovery could cost millions, their economy would be devastated.
He felt arms wrap around him, and for a split second he thought they might be Ava’s, but they didn’t feel right. He would know Ava’s touch anywhere.
He looked down to see his mother, in sweats and rain boots, her hair up in a bun, looking quite unlike herself. “What are you doing here? Your house is in the center of the island. You didn’t have to evacuate.”
“I know, but my entire family is here, and I’m tired of feeling left out.”
“Excuse me?” He stepped away from her touch. “You feel left out? You left yourself out. For years. Birthdays, holidays. My graduation. You weren’t even there when I got sworn in for mayor and I’m supposed to feel sorry for you? Stop playing the victim all the time. If you feel left out, maybe you need to jog your memory and remember exactly where you were for the past thirty years.”
“When you let me have it, you really let me have it. Don’t you?”
“I’ve got more to say. I’m angry with you.”
“You should be.”
“You were a better girlfriend than you ever were a mother, and if it weren’t for Aunt Clara and Uncle Hal, I’m not sure where I would be.”
“I’m grateful for them every day.”
“Stop it! I’m trying to yell at you, and you keep agreeing with me.”
“I know.” She shook her head. “I’ve been a bad mother to you. Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I have seen how much I have disappointed you over the years? I was nineteen when I had you. I didn’t know how to be a mother. Or a wife, or even a good friend. But I had you, and I chased after your father like a crazy person for all those years.”
Derek found a chair and sat down heavily on it. His mother sounded sensible and rational. She didn’t sound like herself at all. “If you knew all of this, why did you continue to behave that way? Why do you still continue to behave this way?”
“I’m broken. I was eighteen and beautiful and full of promise. I had a full scholarship for dance at one of the best schools in the country and then a bad car accident took all of that away from me in a moment. I couldn’t dance anymore. I could no longer sit through classes in college. I was too scattered to hold down a regular job. I felt like less than nothing, and then when your father came along, I focused all of my attention on loving him. Because he made me feel worthy. And then you came along, and I thought I would finally be set. That we would be this perfect little family. But nothing worked out that way, and I was left with a man who didn’t really love me and a kid I didn’t know how to mother. I love you, Derek. You’re the best part of me, but Lord knows I don’t understand you. I never have. It was so easy for my sisters. They just looked at you, and you loved them. I knew you needed more of them in your lives and less of me.”
“I wanted you. You were my mother. You made me feel like you didn’t want me.”
“Of course I wanted you! Your aunt and uncle asked for you a thousand times, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give you up. But I didn’t know how to be your mother, either. I know I was selfish, and when I stayed away, it’s not because I wanted to be away, it’s because I thought you were better off without me. It’s because I knew I embarrassed you. I knew I could never be the type of mother you needed. And that’s why I always keep this distance between us. I can take you rejecting the vapid me, or the scattered me, or the hot mess me. But I can’t take you rejecting the me who tries and just can’t live up.”
“Damn it, Mom.” He didn’t know what to say. How to process it all. “I wouldn’t reject you.”
“I’ve been trying for years to get you to. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me off and cut me out of your life for good, but you’ve never done it. Even when I have really deserved it. You’re annoyingly moral and kind, and it’s really hard to be the parent to someone who is so much better than you.”
The corner of his mouth curled into a smile. “Ava says I’m annoyingly moral, too.”
“Ah, Ava. The little drill sergeant. I hate her.”
“She’s incredible.”
“That’s the reason why I hate her. She’s the kind of person I wanted so desperately to be. Beautiful, smart, talented. She snagged a billionaire and then dumped him! And she takes care of your heart. She loves you. She makes you smile. You’d be an idiot to let her go.”
“I’m not planning to.” He still didn’t know how she felt. Sometimes he felt like she had one foot out the door; the other half of her he was sure wanted to stay forever. All he knew for sure was that she hadn’t turned down the job offer yet. More and more phone calls had been exchanged. There was mention of spending next spring in New York. None of it was a good sign for them, and yet he was determined not to let her go. He would leave this island, leave the people he loved behind for her.
She had been asked to give up everything for a man before, but now it was time for a man to give everything up for her.
Chapter 20
Nearly everyone was asleep, and Ava was surprised by how silent one room could be with dozens of people in it. The only thing she heard was the howling of the wind. She knew she should go to sleep, too, but she couldn’t. There was too much on her mind. She had seen Derek’s mother follow him to the back of the building a couple of hours ago. Neither one of them had been seen since. Her first instinct was to go, to protect him from Anita, but she knew she was being foolish. Derek could handle himself. He was a strong man, and, despite everything, he loved his mother. He would honor her. He would try to work things out instead of cutting her out of his life. He would do what good men did.
“Ava.” She felt a touch on her shoulder as she heard his voice. “Come,” he whispered as he took her hand and led her to a small office on the far side of the building. He had turned it into a bedroom. There was an air mattress on the floor, a thick homemade blanket, a small portable television. There was even soup and bread left over from dinner. She realized that she had served people all night, but she hadn’t eaten anything herself.
“This is the best thing I have seen all day,” she said, squeezing his hand.
“I aim to please, ma’am. Even during a hurricane.”
“How are you doing, Mr.
Mayor?” She wrapped her arms around him. She knew that when he slipped away he was listening to weather reports, looking out the uncovered windows, trying to predict the damage to his beloved island.
“Worried, but by the sound of the reports, the worst of it is over. Sit down. Eat. You’ve been on your feet all day.”
“So have you,” she pointed out. “Sit with me.”
He nodded, and they both eased down on the air mattress. “You should eat.” He stroked his hand down her back. “I don’t think you have since breakfast.”
“I’m not hungry right now.” Holding him close was filling her up. “You were with your mother for a long time. Did you have a good talk?”
“Yes. I’m not sure if things will ever be good between my mother and me, but I know they will be okay. I think I understand her a little more.”
“She’s going to try harder?”
“Yes, I told her you’ll beat her up if she doesn’t.”
“I will.” They were quiet for a long moment. “I love you, Derek.”
“What?” He pulled away from her slightly and frowned. She hadn’t meant to tell him then, even though she had been feeling it for months. Still she expected a different reaction from him, a smile. Something more.
“I’m in love with you,” she said, unable to stop herself. “I’ve known it for a while now. I’ve been trying to think back to the exact moment it happened, but I can’t. I just knew that one day I woke up in love like I have never been in love before. Like I didn’t think was possible. I can’t see living my life without you in it. I want you to be the father of my children. I want to go to bed every night beside you. I want to grow old with you. You’re my home.”
“What about your job?”
“Do you want to know what I was thinking about on the beach?”
He shook his head.
“There’s a shop two doors down from your storefront that’s vacant. I was thinking about opening my own boutique. There are a lot of seniors on the island that would love to work, and there are teenagers that could use some job experience. We could do some mentoring there. There’s a lot of possibilities. I could be my own boss and...” She trailed off, realizing that she was starting to ramble. None of these thoughts were fully formed. This morning she was still unsure what she was going to do about the job, but deep in her heart she knew she couldn’t leave Derek. She couldn’t leave this island.
