So you know I didnt walk back towards the light, said Rosa. But I felt so dirty and my mind, it was in pieces. I wasnt strong enough. I put my cello and my bag on my back and walked into the night. I walked up the road, climbed the path. I was hurting. I came here. Nancy was here. It was as if shed been waiting for me. He took my cello and leaned it against the wall.
Noah Stern?
Rosa ignored Clares question.
I try to run the movie in reverse, another version. Me, walking back to the shop, back into the light, back inside. I pick up the phone. I phone my oupa, I tell him. He fetches me. I give him the money for his cancer pills, enough to buy him and me a few more days.
Rosa was quiet again, her exhalations marking the moments.
But it never happened. Thats how life is, she said. Nothing gets undone. It was like I had a fire under my skin. I left that place. I walked faster, faster down the hill, trying to get away. There was the garage. I went in. I had to find some water again. I got the key, but nothing helped their hands on me, inside me, burning, burning me. I wet my hair and I walked to the trees. I knew the path was there Id walked there before. I knew it went to Paradys. Nancy is his wife. I knew her, she had combed my hair in the sun and told me that I would find sanctuary there.
Rosa shifted, leaned on her elbow and faced Clare.
A woman makes you feel safe, said Rosa.
She sank back onto the bed.
I was wrong.
Me too, said Clare.
Ive thought so often about what Nancy knows.
Everything, said Clare. Shes his handmaiden.
Clare put her arms around Rosa.
When you first visited them, what did Noah say to you then?
It was Nancy who did the talking. He just watched and smiled and went about his business. I didnt really pay much attention to him.
And after you arrived here at Paradys?
The next morning he asked me if Id spoken to anyone. I told him no, Id come straight from the castle. I told him I didnt want to see anyone. Not after what I had done, not yet. He made me coffee. There was bread, a jar of honey. We sat at the table and he watched me eat. Then he asked me if I would help him in the shed.
Bastard. So thats where the entrance to this hole is.
Rosas breath quickened. Yes. He was standing at the door and said to me, After you like a real gentleman. There were three boxes on the floor. He gave me the smallest one. He pointed to a door, some steps. It was, a cellar, I thought. He came after me. There were seventeen steps. I counted, I dont know why. And then there was another door. It opens with some kind of code. He leaned forward while I held the box and he opened the door and then it was too late and the chain was round my neck.
Is that where you found the little girl?
Yes, she was curled up on a mat on the floor. Her eyes were open. He turned her onto her side, to face the wall. Then he took my dress, he took my panties, he bent me over the table, his hand on the back of my neck, his voice was in my ear telling me I was unclean
Clare shook her head in the dark, stroked Rosas forehead.
After a long pause, she asked, Where was her mother?
Thats exactly what I asked her, said Rosa. Poor little thing, she looked like she wanted to cry when I said mother. But that was all, and then he put the light out and it was as dark as it is now.
66
Riedwaans search had taken him and Njobe along remote tracks that led up the slopes of the Sentinel. Higher up they had found a dead dog, a strand of wire twisted around its scrawny neck, but no trace of Clare. That left Riedwaan with no comfort at all.
The cold sun was already sinking behind Judas Peak, the trees cast spectral shadows across the parking lot behind the garage and the KwikShop. Mandla Njobe, Riedwaan Faizal and two Mountain Men security guards were standing next to Clares abandoned 4x4.
Its nearly four oclock already, said Njobe. Weve been searching for Dr Hart all day. Why the fuck did you only find her car now?
We looked everywhere for the doctor, said the younger guard.
Cwele was looking for her too, chimed in the other. And for you, Captain.
You spoke to him? asked Riedwaan.
Didnt get a chance, said the younger. Cweles so busy telling you what a grootkop he is, you dont need to say anything.
Dont give me any shit about Cwele. Njobes voice was lethally quiet. I want to know why you only found the car now?
We did one last patrol, said the older one. We drove this way. Came in for coffee. Those guys had fixed their truck and moved out so we saw the car. He pointed to the eighteen-wheeler chugging up Victoria that had blocked Clares vehicle from casual view.
I sent you here this morning. Njobes fists bunched. This is Dr Harts life were talking about.
We looked, sir, both of us. The truck
Useless fuckers is what you are, said Mandla Njobe. He turned on his heel.
Its my fault, Faizal, he said. I should have come myself.
It should have been me. Riedwaan walked away from the men. Leave them. We know this is where she was last. We start here. Now.
Riedwaan peered into Clares car. Everything seemed to be in order. Everything except for the fact that her car had been parked here for twenty-four hours and that its owner had vanished.
The KwikShop security cameras, said Njobe, what do they show?
Nothing much, said the older guard. Just going in to the shop, then leaving.
She buy anything? asked Riedwaan.
Nothing, the guard replied. She went in, she talked to the cashier, she went out, walked out of shot, then shes gone.
Heres Mercy, said Njobe. The girl who was on duty yesterday. Shes back on shift.
Riedwaan turned around when the cashier appeared.
You spoke to Dr Hart, he said to her.
Yes. Her hands inside the pockets of her uniform. She was looking for that girl who went missing. Rosie whatever.
Rosa Wagner, said Riedwaan. What did you tell her?
That she was here, said Mercy. It was a few weeks ago. Late at night.
What else?
I told her she used the bathroom and then she walked out and she vanished.
Thats it?
Thats it. Mercy chewed her gum, blew a pink bubble.
Then Dr Hart left?
Yes, said Mercy. She walked out. Round the corner. I didnt see her again either.
What about her car?
I didnt think about it. I didnt see it, that big delivery truck was parked here, it just left.
We radioed everyone, Captain, said the second Mountain Men guard. Nobodys seen her. Shes just gone.
You not the first cop who was looking for her, said Mercy.
What do you mean? asked Riedwaan. This wasnt the time to explain that, as of yesterday, he wasnt a cop.
He was here, she said. Got a fat stomach like a politician, drove a Pajero.
What did you tell him?
Nothing. I dont like him. Mercy eyed Riedwaan. I dont think he liked your doctor lady. Not like you.
Did he see the car?
He didnt park this side, so I dont think so, said Mercy. He took two Cokes and he didnt pay for them and then he left.
Cwele. Njobe turned to Riedwaan. Clare mustve seen him.
A bell tolled in the valley. Riedwaan counted four, one for each hour of the afternoon so far and already the light dimming, fading towards evening. He swept his field glasses along the neglected firebreak that ran below Savićs fence. The castle rose above the trees, silhouetted by the last rays of sunshine.
Riedwaan dropped his glasses. The overgrown track cut across the mountain to where Wewers had sat eating Sweetie Pies while a girl was running through the trees.
Keep looking for her here, Mandla, said Riedwaan. Right now, theres someone I have to see.
67
The light flickered on, illuminated the contours of Rosas face. Clare flinched, her eyes hurting. She braced herself, but there was no sound, no one approaching.
This happens sometimes, said Rosa. Theres light, theres food, and then its gone again.
Does it mean someone is coming? asked Clare.
Eventually, yes, he comes, said Rosa. The first time, he came back three days later. Three days of darkness. No clothes, just me and the little girl and a bottle of water and some biscuits. We broke them into little pieces to make them last. Then he came down and he told me to bend over the table again. When it was over, I ate the orange he peeled for me.
Clare brushed the tears from Rosas face.
Listen to that. Rosa inclined her head.
Clare heard nothing, just the sound of water.
You know, I arrange the sounds of the water. Its my own Water Music. Its what kept me sane for a while, but I cant hold on much longer. She buried her head in Clares arms. Clare, please help me, help me die. I cant do it alone.
Theres a way out of here, said Clare, aware of the pulse of the life deep within her her nameless comrade, her own reason to live. Well find it, Rosa.
You dont think Ive thought of everything, tried everything?
This time theres two of us, said Clare.
There were two of us the last time, said Rosa. It didnt help.
Did Esther tell you how long she was here?
She didnt know, she thought maybe ten years, said Rosa. She used the babies to count off the years.
And did she know about Isaac?
Yes, she knew, said Rosa. She told me she was his mother up there in the sunshine until he was two. Its what kept her obedient all the years she was buried here with her shadow children thats what she called them.
Little Esther, you mean?
Yes, her, the one who lived but also the others, the girls that died.
How many were there?
Three, said Rosa. He didnt come when she gave birth. It was only little Esther who lived.
Her mother was suffocated. I saw the autopsy report, said Clare. But why, after all this time, did Stern kill Esther?
It wasnt him.
Rosas face was close to Clares in the dark.
Esther was very sick. Shed been sick before, but this time she knew she was dying. Shed already tattooed her name onto her daughters skin, Rosas voice caught in her throat. She told me that the only time he let her out was to bury the babies that died, the ones that were stillborn. Thats where we got the idea.
Rosa stopped, her fists clenching.
What idea? Clare prompted.
Rosas voice broke, but she pushed through. He said it was her fault they died, that she must clean up her own mess.
Clare stroked her hair, untangling the curls.
We talked about all that, here in the darkness. And then we decided. She wasnt strong enough, so it had to be me that held my hands over her face until she stopped moving. Stopped breathing.
Rosa stopped speaking; her words faded into the silence.
Clare took Rosas hands, felt the bones, the strength that came from making music.
That took real courage, said Clare.
She endured so much, for so long, said Rosa.
I meant you, said Clare.
Rosa withdrew her hands.
Stern found Esther here, dead. He was so angry. He didnt say anything. Just went upstairs to fetch a hammer. He brought it back and he spread out my fingers, here, on the table. I thought he was going to break all of them, but all he did was break the little finger of my left hand.
She held it up crooked and swollen.
This is the hand that holds the strings so that my other hand can draw the music from the cello.
After he broke it, he told me that I would have to bury her. But first I had to bandage my finger so that I could dig her grave. He fetched a spade. The little girl clung to me, wouldnt let me go, and when he came back, he didnt care either way, and I was so frightened that my only chance would slip through my fingers that I tied her onto my back, even though I knew it would make the digging and the running harder.
Rosa was crying now, raw animal sounds. Clare held her tightly against her own body until she could find a way to speak again.
The grave had to be deep, he said. I dug and dug, then I put Esthers body inside and dropped the stones on her chest like he said I must so that she didnt swell up and betray us, and I filled in the grave again. The wet soil hit her face looking up at me
I saw her face too, when we found her, said Clare.
She must have been so beautiful once, said Rosa. But the horror of what happened to her was marked on her for ever.
As it will be on us unless we get out of here, Clare thought.
What happened then? she said instead.
Then the wind dropped, and there were mens voices, and he turned to listen, and thats when I ran. I ran until I fell. The child was too heavy, so I slid her off and tied her to a fallen branch. I told her Id come back. Her eyes were closed, I think the starlight hurt her when the clouds parted. Shed never been outside, never seen stars. I covered her an old piece of plastic lying nearby and I ran, and ran. There was a fence. A hole under it, it looked like it was burrowed by some animals, maybe porcupines. I tried to slide through it in the mud, it scratched my skin, all along my back. At the house I broke a window, it threw my face back at me. The alarm didnt go off. I wanted it to scream my throat was so tight but it didnt, I saw the phone and dialled the only number Ive ever known.
Rosa, I heard you, Clare said. Your oupa brought your message to me.
Thats why youre here. My message. My fault. Rosas voice seemed to stumble, fall. But he found me there, in that nice house, and it was him who hit me on the head and dragged me back into the forest, my feet were bleeding. When I woke up I was here again, in this hole.
The light flickered and went out, plunging them into an abyss of darkness.
68
Riedwaan walked down the side of the harbour where rusty fishing boats listed at anchor. The last boat pitched and rolled as the swell muscled its way into the sheltered area. Chadley Wewers squatted over a tangle of nets, iPod earbuds disappearing into his hoodie. He worked at the net, fingers familiar with the knots since he was a boy. Riedwaan stepped over the gangplank and Wewers looked up at him.
Entjie?
Riedwaan offered him his packet. Threw him a lighter.
You lost, Captain? Wewers stood up before lighting his cigarette.
Tell me about it, said Riedwaan, his back to the open sea. He had a clear view of the harbour, the marina, the parking lot, the Sentinel grim behind Hangberg.
That girl who went missing, said Riedwaan. Rosa Wagner. The one who was in that house other side of the valley. Whered she go?
You still scheme I know something about her? You fucken mad?
You tell me, said Riedwaan.
Me and DesRay, weve got a laaitie coming, said Wewers. I got a second chance. Im fucken taking it with two hands.
Changes things, a woman and a child, said Riedwaan.
You got kids?
I fucked up, said Riedwaan. Dont make that mistake.
Thats what Im trying not to do, said Wewers. I keep telling you the same fucken stuff and you dont hear me. My life, Im turning it around. Why do you think Im working here?
This girl, said Riedwaan. He held out the photograph of Rosa Wagner: gleaming skin, red dress, cello. You saw her.
Wewers studied the photograph.
Fuck you. He lit the cigarette.
You nervous?
Wewers was silent.
If you tell me, I can help you. You and DesRay. The baby too, said Riedwaan. You tell me whats happening. Where this girl is. Youre safe.
Ive got work to do, said Wewers.
You know whats been going on up at the castle? asked Riedwaan.
Why would I know anything about people in castles? said Wewers. Do I look like a fucking fairytale?
Rosa played music there, said Riedwaan. Maybe you saw her.
I like Tupac, not Beethoven.
Just wondering why you were walking up th
ere, said Riedwaan. You see anything?
Trees, rain, owls, mud, said Wewers, his face shutting down. Thats it.
Whats with the walks?
Part of rehab. Fresh air, community, exercise.
You think about it, said Riedwaan. A new start. You and the baby.
Why you trying to help me?
I was like you once, said Riedwaan. Someone helped me.
Cheap shoes, Mr Price jeans, old leather jacket, thats what it did for you. What did it do for him?
Hes dead, said Riedwaan. Gangster like you shot him.
Wheres the gangster?
Hes dead too. Riedwaan flicked his cigarette overboard.
What you trading? said Wewers.
The docket, said Riedwaan. The assault charge youre paroled for now.
Thats fuck-all. Chadley Wewers stood up. It cost me fifty bucks the day I was paroled. A little fish told me that the only witness is feeding the crayfish. Its gone long time, that case.
Wewers pushed past, but Riedwaan grabbed him, twisting him into an iron embrace.
Dont fuck with me, said Riedwaan, his lips almost touching the metal piercing of the boys ear, his pistol against his head.
OK, chill, man. I heard some weird sounds. A girls voice, maybe others.
What others?
Maybe a man.
Thats it? Riedwaan dug the barrel of his pistol into his temple.
Defeat in Wewerss eyes, the look of a dying man.
The girl.
Rosa?
I dunno. She was naked. Running.
Where?
Downhill.
To the estate?
Im telling you, he said. I dont know where, who the fuck she is.
Riedwaan twisted the barrel, the metal drew blood.
OK, OK, he said, angling his head away from the gun. She was running for her life. Like an animal. She made sounds like an animal makes.
She ran out of the estate?
No, man. She was running towards it. She went in. She ran down the hill. Thats why we saw her. Like a ghost with her shiny skin. Id been smoking a lolly, I thought I was seeing things.
What are you not telling me? said Riedwaan. He moved the trigger back, a loud click.
A man was after her, he said.
Who, you motherfucker?
Water Music Page 22
