by Deanna Chase
“What about Lucas?”
“I’ve got Lucas covered. I’m filing to become his guardian, but obviously, my life isn’t set up for raising a kid. I got him a place in a boarding school in Chicago for psychic kids. The woman who runs it is a friend. The kid’s has had a crazy rough life. It’ll be nice for him to have a safe, stable place to finish growing up.”
“I’d like to meet him later, if you think that would be okay.”
“Of course.”
Neil checked his watch. “Well, it’s been a long night, and I still have to debrief Marley.”
“Me? What do you mean by debrief?”
He reluctantly straightened up and set his coffee on the end table. “I just have to ask you a few questions about what went down last night. Get your side. I’ll need to write up a report today. I don’t plan on including you in it, but I still need your statement.”
I swallowed down a lump in my throat. “Am I in trouble for shooting that guy?”
Neil shook his head, and JC threaded his fingers in mine.
“Nothing to worry about,” JC answered, dropping a kiss on my knuckles.
“As far as any official records will show, Officer Moreno was the shooter, and it was self-defense in the line of duty.”
I let out a breath that I wasn’t conscious of holding. A man was dead, and that sucked, but there was no way I’d stand back and let JC get in trouble for something I’d done. “Okay, ask away.”
“All right. Why don’t you start with when you arrived at the rave and tell me everything?”
“Don’t you need to get something to take notes with?”
Neil grinned and tapped his temple.
“Remember when I told you about his super-freaky IQ?” JC asked. “Well, it comes with a photographic memory.”
Neil shrugged. “Something like that. Go ahead whenever you’re ready, Marley.”
So I started at the beginning and told him the story as I remembered it. But when I got to the part where I’d nudged Nico into the Mother of all Orgasms, I hesitated.
Neil sighed. “Marley, I’ve worked with psy agents long enough to know when someone is more than they appear. Moreno wouldn’t tell me exactly what you did, but I heard enough through the audio feed last night to draw some conclusions. You want to fill me in on the details?”
JC nodded and said, “Go ahead.”
If he trusted Neil, I supposed I could, too. I took JC’s cup from his hands and guzzled down the last dregs. “Okay, so I do this thing called nudging...” And I explained everything.
“I have to say, I’m impressed,” Neil said after I was done with my story. “Not just with your nudging, but in how you handled yourself last night. I’ve seen experienced field agents who weren’t able to think on their feet as well as you did, and you haven’t even been trained.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” JC said squeezing my hand. “You were amazing.”
A blush spread on my cheeks. “Thanks.”
“Which brings me to the next item on the agenda...” Neil stood and crossed the chair where his jacket hung. He fished out a regular unmarked envelope and handed it to me.
I opened it and gasped. Inside was a small stack of hundred dollar bills. “How much is here?”
“Three grand.”
“Why are you giving me money?”
“You put your life on the line last night. The Agency owes you for your work. I could’ve gotten you more if you were on the payroll, but this is the most discretionary cash I could get.”
I considered briefly refusing it, but heck, I wasn’t a fool. I’d need first and last month’s rent for a new apartment. Not to mention all the broken things I had to replace.
“Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed this.”
Neil nodded thoughtfully, as if making his mind up about something. “You know, there’s more where that came from.”
“Neil, not now,” JC groaned.
I looked from one guy to the other. “What?”
“I think you should come to work for me,” Neil announced. “With a little training, you’d make an excellent psy agent.”
I glared at JC. “Did you put him up to this?”
“No. He came up with it all on his own. But he’s right, you know. I think we make a good team.”
I allowed myself a moment to envision it. A CIA agent and a stripper off fighting crime together? It sounded like the makings of a bad TV show. That said, it was kinda nice to do something good for the world last night. And it sure as hell was more respectable than giving lap dances.
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Here’s my number,” Neil said, handing me a card from his wallet. “I’m sure Moreno can answer all your questions, but if you need anything, just let me know.”
Neil excused himself to go home to bed. As soon as he was out the door, I pulled JC to his feet and into the bedroom.
“Come on, clothes off.” I tugged his shirt over his head. “Do you want a shower first or sleep?”
“Sleep,” he mumbled while holding my shoulder for balance as he shed his boots.
When he was stripped down to his briefs, I lifted the sheets, and we both slipped inside. I wasn’t very tired, but I couldn’t resist some snuggle time. I curled up along JC’s side with my head on his chest. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of my head, then settled back on the pillow. And then in the moment before he fell off to sleep, he said something that shocked me to my core.
“Love you.”
Chapter 14
JC
I’d never had a girlfriend before. Never wanted one. Any relationships formed undercover could only be based on lies. The women I’d been with in the past were typically the kind who didn’t bother asking if I’d ever call them again. And honestly, I’d been cool with that. Now though, I wanted something more than a hook-up. And I wanted that something more with Marley.
But did I have to go and drop the fucking L bomb on her?
I woke up sometime in the early afternoon alone. I vaguely remembered Marley leaving the bed a few hours earlier. As much as I wished to wake up with her in my arms, I welcomed a few minutes to think.
I’d never told anyone I wasn’t related to that I loved them. And if I hadn’t been so exhausted I never would’ve said it to Marley. Not that I didn’t mean it. It was just that I’d said it completely without thinking, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Now I was waiting for the regret to settle in, but so far, nada.
So I really did love Marley? Last night when I’d thought that bastard Nico was assaulting her, I went ballistic. He’d been lucky she was so good at taking care of herself, because if there’d been one scratch on her, I would’ve killed him. And I really did want her to quit her shitty job and join the Agency with me. Now that I was cleared for field duty, I’d be gone a lot. But if she were on my team, we’d be together all the time. She really was a natural.
I crawled out of bed and headed for the shower. I groaned at the sight of my newly bleached hair in the mirror. I looked like a gay surfer. Once it grew out a little, I’d shave it off. I hated the bald look, but I’d done it before, and my hair grew fast.
When I was washed and dressed, I went in search of Marley. I found her sitting cross-legged on the couch scowling at the classified ads and chewing on the end of a pen.
“Hey, whatcha doing?”
She raised her face so I could give her a kiss. “Looking for a new apartment. I can’t believe how much they’re asking for some of these shit holes.”
I poured myself a cup of lukewarm coffee and downed it in a few gulps. “You can always stay here.”
She gave me a dubious look. “I appreciate the offer, but this place is too small for two people.”
I opened my mouth to suggest we get a bigger place together, but then snapped it shut. What was I doing? First the L word, and now I was looking to move in with her? I needed to slow the fuck down, or I’d scare the woman off for good.
> Marley’s phone rang. She checked the caller ID before answering.
“Hello? Yes, this is her...No!”
She leaped to her feet, her hand pressed over her open mouth. I dropped the Cheerios box I held and rushed to her side.
“Yes. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she said, hanging up the phone. She looked up at me with her eyes shining with new tears.
“It’s my mama. She had another stroke.”
Chapter 15
Marley
“Get dressed,” JC ordered. “I’ll take you.”
I didn’t argue, just ran off to the bedroom to gather my things. Since I wasn’t sure how long I’d be gone, I dumped one of my paper bags on the bed and re-packed it with a change of clothes and a few things for overnight. I tossed in a change of clothes for JC, too. Thank god, he offered to drive. No way could I handle the five hours to McCamey behind the wheel. My hands were shaking like a crack addict in need of a fix.
JC was just hanging up his phone when I came out of the bedroom carrying the grocery sack. He had his boots on and keys already in hand. I shoved the sack at him and slipped into a pair of flats.
“Did they say anything about her condition?” he asked as we hurried to the car.
“No. I guess when the nurse brought lunch in, she found Mama slumped over the side of the bed and unconscious. Mama’s at the hospital for tests now.”
JC pressed a kiss to my hand and tucked me into the passenger seat. He peeled out of the parking lot, but instead of turning left toward US 290, he turned right.
“Where are you going? We need to go west.”
“It’ll take too long to drive. I called the Agency and arranged for a plane. I should have you to McCamey in less than two hours.”
My racing heart stuttered. “If you weren’t driving, JC Moreno, I’d kiss your face off.”
His mouth turned up in a sad smile. “Rain check?”
I squeezed his hand, grateful for his support. At some point I was going to have to have a talk with him about where this thing with us was headed, but for now, it was enough that he was here.
We pulled into the parking lot of a small private airport. JC led me straight through the small terminal and out the back door onto the strip where two men were running through a pre-flight checklist on a small twin-engine plane. The pilot greeted JC by name. “Go on inside, Moreno. We will be ready for takeoff in ten minutes.”
JC led me up the steps into the plane. He settled me in a seat beside the window and then went to fetch me a can of 7-Up, which I sipped slowly to calm my roiling stomach. Everything was going so fast, by the time I thought to get nervous about the flight, we were already in the air.
“I’ve never flown before,” I admitted, looking out the window at the dry golden land below.
“Ever?” JC wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Flying is fun. Sometime I’ll take you on a real trip. Where should we go?”
I knew he was trying to distract me from thoughts of Mama. I guessed daydreaming was better than imagining all the horrible possibilities awaiting me in McCamey. “How about Barbados? I always liked the sound of that place.”
“Mmm...white sand beaches and palm trees.”
“Have you been there?”
“Just the airport.”
“I want to go some place you’ve never been.”
He thought a minute. “I’ve never been to Alaska.”
“No?”
“No. I really haven’t been further north than Wisconsin. I think I’d like to see the glaciers.”
JC spent the rest of the trip telling me about all the places he’d been. I appreciated the attempt at distraction, but it really didn’t take my mind off Mama. For the millionth time, I kicked myself for not staying in McCamey. I knew I’d never be able to take care of her on my own. That was never a question. Even though Shady Pines was state-run and didn’t offer a lot of bells and whistles, the staff was nice and well-trained. So while I hated the idea of her in a nursing home, I knew it was for the best. Still, I felt bad about not staying closer so I could visit more often.
When we landed at the tiny Upton County Airport, we rented a car and headed straight to the hospital. The receptionist directed us to the third floor. In the World’s Slowest Elevator, I noticed JC looking a bit pale.
“Hey, are you all right?”
He nodded. “Yeah. It’s just hospitals are not the best place for mediums.”
I hadn’t even thought of that. “So, like, are you seeing ghosts?”
He sighed and clutched my hand. “Since spirits tend to linger in the places they die, yes, there are a few around. I just have to pretend like I don’t see or hear them. If I acknowledge them in any way, they’ll swarm.”
I cringed and started to tell him he could go wait outside, but the doors opened, and thoughts of Mama flooded back in.
“I’m here for Rita Sexton,” I told the nurse manning the desk. “I’m her daughter, Marley.”
She gestured to the small waiting room across the hall. “Go on and have a seat. I’ll send the doctor out to talk to you.”
I didn’t want to hang out in generically decorated waiting room. I wanted to see my Mama. She needed to know I was there for her. That she wasn’t alone.
JC led me to the couch where I reluctantly sat.
“Want me to get you some coffee or something?”
I shook my head no. The thought of ingesting anything made my stomach twist.
We didn’t have to wait long. Dr. Brewer entered the room and shut the door behind him. I’d met him a couple of times before, but I’d never seen his mouth set so grim.
“What is it? How is she?”
Dr. Brewer pulled a chair over to sit in front of me. “I’m sorry, Marley. Your mother passed about twenty minutes ago.”
I think he kept speaking, but I was no longer listening. My vision grew dark and narrowed. JC’s arms crushed me to his chest. It wasn’t until I noticed the dampness of his shirt that I realized I was crying. Mama couldn’t be gone. She was all I had left.
As if sensing my thoughts, JC pressed his lips to my hair and whispered, “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I need to see her.” I looked at Dr. Brewer. “Can I see her?”
He nodded. “I’ll take you to her.”
We followed him down a hall, though I didn’t know how I was able to walk, given how disconnected I felt from my feet. The doctor stopped in front of a closed door.
“She’s inside. Take all the time you need and let the nurse know when you’re done.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” JC replied before turning to me. “You ready?”
I nodded, but said, “No.”
He gave me a sad smile and opened the door.
I had to fight every bone in my body to make myself step forward. Bright late-afternoon sun shone through the window, making the white room almost uncomfortably bright. My mama lay on the bed with a sheet tucked around her shoulders like a child taking a nap. Only her head was exposed. With all of the muscles in her faced uniformly relaxed, the left-side slump that had been present since the first stroke was gone. For the first time in a long time, she looked like the mama I grew up with.
JC wheeled a chair over, and I took it gratefully. I peeled back the sheet and grasped Mama’s cool hand. Bile rose in my throat, and I had to swallow several times to keep it down. The tears still flowing steadily down my face dripped onto the white sheet, turning it light gray.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t make it in time, Mama. I got here as fast as I could. I didn’t want you to d-die alone.” My voice stumbled over the word, knowing that by speaking it, I was making it more real. “I just can’t seem to stop disappointing you Mama. Whether it was my grades, or choice of profession or not having the money to get you the physical therapy you needed...no matter how much I tried, I never got it right. I’m so sorry, Mama. You deserved so much more.”
JC’s warm hand rested on my back. “Stop it, Marley. You can�
�t beat yourself up over this.”
I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt. “But it’s true. She worked so hard to make a good life for me. We never had much by way of material things, but I knew every day when she went to that job she hated, she was doing it because she loved me. And what did I ever give her in return? You think I don’t know that she was disappointed in me for turning out the way I did? When she found out I was stripping, she just about popped an artery.”
“Trust me, Marley, she wasn’t disappointed in you. She loved you as fiercely as any mother could. She’s the one who feels bad because she knows if it wasn’t for her, you would’ve left that job a long time ago and gotten on with your life.”
The blood drained out of my head, and I met JC’s eyes. He struggled to keep them blank, but I recognized the indecision beneath the mask.
“JC, how do you know how my Mama felt?”
He huffed out a breath and squirmed in his seat. “Because she’s still here.”
Chapter 16
JC
No, no, no! I’m so fucking stupid! That was not what Marley needed at the absolute worst moment of her life. One look at her rapidly bleaching face, and I knew I’d made a mistake.
“Not a mistake,” the silvered spirit of Rita Sexton said from where she hovered at the foot of the bed. “A gift.”
“Y-you can see her?” Marley asked in the tiny voice of a heartbroken child.
I nodded once, but said no more out of fear I’d make things worse.
“What...what is she saying? How does she look?”
I glanced at Rita. She had the looks of a beautiful woman who’d led a rough life and didn’t have the cash to take care of herself. Even so, her eyes held a familiar relief that I often saw in those who no longer had to suffer through a long illness. “She looks...good. I mean, like she’s at peace.”
“Tell Marley I love her, and I never ever was disappointed in her. Does she think I don’t know how much she busted her behind these last few years to take care of me? I couldn’t speak, but that didn’t make me deaf to what was going on.”
