by Savana Jade
~~~
“Dude, Check out the banjo.” Matt says as we walk into the overly decorated barn.
String lights are hung back and forth from wall to wall with a crystal ball hanging in the center. I can’t help but smile to myself noticing the country decorations. As much as I have loved seeing everything Gabe has showed me these past few days, even as beautiful as it is, I know I would miss the west coast drastically. But I have to admit, this country style is warming up to me. Brennan snaps me out of my trance when he asks Ashley if she plays. Shaking her head vigorously she states the fact that we have acquired the only talented member of their family.
“That’s a false statement.” Gabe says nudging his older sister. “Ashley here is an exceptional singer.” He winks at her as she scowls at him. “Not sure if she still is, but she is the star vocal at church. You’ll see on Sunday.” He finishes with a chuckle.
“No questions about it then, Ashley and Jenna will sing a song tonight.” My heart literally stops and my face flushes at Brennan.
“Um, Bren.” I say grabbing his arm shaking my head.
He turns and pulls me into him. “Don’t worry Jems. We will be right here okay?”
Gabe interrupts. “Bren, maybe tonight’s not the right night.”
“Gabe, she has to stand on stage tomorrow night in front of, what Ashley says, the entire county. And you don’t think she’s ready for this small town?” Brennan argues. My eyes dart over to Drew who is watching us closely. All it takes is one look for him to know what’s going through my mind. It’s only been a few months still for me and whenever there’s a confrontation, it seems so much easier to tuck myself away and avoid it. I take a step back and walk over towards him. Gabe takes my hand and steps between me and Brennan.
“Don’t push her man.” He stands tall as he stares down Brennan face to face. I keep my eyes on Drew who is by my side in just seconds. Gabe feels the tug from his hands, he sees its Drew and he releases me to Drew.
“I’m not pushing her Gabe, but she needs to snap out of it. What’s gonna happen tomorrow when she is standing on stage? Huh? We gonna let her choke?” Brennan argues.
Drew takes and turns me towards the bar. “C’mon Jenna, let’s get a drink.” He says, I quickly follow him towards the bar. I don’t really want to hear the rest of their argument.
“Fuck Bren. Do you really think she’s that weak?” Their voices slowly fade as we walk away from them. I can hear Brennan’s sorrowful voice say “No” followed by Gabe’s defense again. “Give her some credit man. We finally got her back into the studio just a few months ago. This is a huge step for her and if she needs one more day, then we will give it to her.” He turns to leave Brennan, Ashley and Matt standing together before finding Drew and me. Drew releases my hand and Gabe pulls me into him. “I’m sorry angel.”
“No, he has a point Gabe. I really should do this. I just… I just don’t know if I can do this tonight. Maybe it’s because it’s more personal being here with all your close friends and family.” Drew hands me my drink and Gabe a beer as if he’s not listening to the conversation. That’s one of the things I love about him. He is so discrete, but when it’s time to intervene, he’s right there.
“Brennan just caught me off guard is all.” I take a drink. “I’ll think about it okay?” Gabe glances in Drew’s direction. Drew shrugs in return and nods. He takes my hand in his and we walk towards the table that’s filled up with our group. Ashley nudges Brennan drawing his attention towards me and sheepishly he says he is sorry. I give him a hug and a kiss and reassure him that everything is ok.
The next few hours fly by. I have shaken hands with so many people; I lost count of who they all were after the twentieth person. The food was spectacular and the previous argument has long been forgotten. The music begins immediately; Gabe takes my hand and before we know it we are the only two people on the dance floor. I look at him with a slight case of fear. “Gabe. I can’t dance to this.” He laughs at my statement and pulls me into his body.
“Don’t worry Jenna, I’ve got you.” His face becomes more serious. “Remember, I’m never letting you go.” He takes my chin between his fingers as we begin to sway slowly to the upbeat music and he tilts my head up towards him before planting the softest and most tender kisses on my lips.
With our lips still connected, I smile into his kiss. “Couldn’t even if you tried?” I finish the phrase.
His eyes glisten as he smiles back to me. “Yeah, something like that.” He replies with a chuckle. He takes my hand and spaces us appropriately. “Now, a good country dance requires the lass, that’s you, to do nothing but follow the lead of the lad, that’s me.” he smiles and winks at me. “Just hold on here.” He moves my hand to his liking and continues. “And let’s go.” He begins to move and suddenly, we are dancing around the dance floor. His parents have decided to join us. Hoots and hollers are filling the air and when we draw our attention to where the sounds is coming from, my face flushes a hundred shades of red with embarrassment.
Gabe chuckles and waves them on. Ashley takes Brennan’s hand and pulls him to join us. We laugh and dance with each other. Gabe takes Ashley’s hand and I take Brennan’s. Those two are remarkable on the dance floor. Brennan and I just stand and stare at them as they dance circles around us.
Emily has pulled Drew up to join us. Matt sits at the table and pulls out his phone so he can take pictures of us looking like fools. As the songs change from one to another, my rightful partner joins me once again. Someone from across the room has finally grabbed Matt and now he joins us for the musical exercise. By the fifth song, the dance floor was packed. Only a few people, mostly the elderly sit around and watch. We laugh and exchange partners. By the end of the sixth or seventh song, the band changes it up to a slow song.
Matt, who I was last dancing with, tells me he’s going to get a drink from the bar. I nod and ask him for a refill as well. As he makes his way to the bar, I make my way to the tables. A set of arms immediately wrap around my waist and a familiar set of lips land just below my ear. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Smiling and turning in his embrace, I answer as he begins dragging me back towards the dance floor. “I didn’t know where you were, so I figured I would sit this one out.”
“Oh, no you don’t. This first dance is mine.” He says kissing my cheek.
“Gabriel, we’ve already had the first dance. Remember, we were the only ones?” I remind him.
“How can I forget? But this is the first slow dance.” He takes my hand and raises it in the air. Gracefully as the first dance, he led me across the dance floor as if we were the only ones in the room. “Are you having fun?” he asks.
“Actually, I’m having more fun than I imagined I would. Thank you.” I smile up at him as he carries me through the room.
“My pleasure.” He dips me traditionally, I laugh in surprise. “I’m happy you are enjoying yourself angel.” he says pulling me back up but this time, he simply holds me in his arms like we’re dancing at home. My arms wrap around his neck as he pulls me closer to him. “I was afraid you were going to be bored and want to go home.”
“And miss the festivities?” I giggle. My fingers play with the curls that rest on the bottom of his hairline. “It warms my heart to see you so at ease. I almost feel guilty all these years keeping you from this.”
“You didn’t keep me from here Jenna. I chose to leave.” He slows our dancing to almost a complete stop. “Stop thinking that please. I choose my life. I choose you.” I smile up at him. “And, I wanted to apologize for what happened earlier between Brennan and me.”
“Will you stop apologizing please?” I ask tugging his hair slightly causing him to grin devilishly at me. The song comes to an end and someone taps the microphone drawing our attention to the stage.
“Welcome. Tonight we have a special guest. Well, I can’t say he is special, since I believe we’ve all changed his diapers.” The announcer laughs as does th
e crowd. “But now he’s fully grown and famous. Gabriel, come up here son.” I smile up at Gabe as he shakes his head at me before kissing my hand and releasing it before he hops on stage. “Ahh, a gentleman at that. I would like to say I taught him that sweetheart.” The announcer addresses me; I turn fifty shades of red. “Welcome home son. So, tell us, How’s the stardom life?”
Gabe takes the microphone and brings it up to his mouth. “Thanks Bob. But I don’t think we can consider ourselves famous just yet.”
“Nonsense son, so is what I hear true? You and your friends are going to play for us tomorrow?”
Gabe looks up at me and smiles proudly. “Yes sir, that’s true.”
“So, how about a sneak peak for what’s in store?” Bob the announcer asks.
“Um, I don’t know.” Gabe says. But the crowd cheers him on. My heart races as he makes eye contact with me before trailing his eyes to the rest of the guys. I can see the plea on his face for help. Gabe has a direct line to my heartstrings. Instinctively, I take a step forward and his brow crunches. Ironically, Matt, Drew and Brennan all make it to the stage at the same time. Gabe offers his hand for me, my shaky hand makes contact with him as he assists me on stage. The guys’ hop on and stand around us. “Bob, can you give us a minute please?” He asks. He turns to us. “What do I say? Help me out guys.” He begs.
Before anyone can respond, with no clue where the sudden bout of confidence comes from. I say. “Let’s do it.” Four set of eyes turn towards me. “What?” they all ask in unison. “One song can’t hurt right?” I continue.
Gabe responds immediately. “No, they can wait until tomorrow.” He looks over at me.
“No Gabe. Let’s do this.” I run my hand down his arm. “Remember the song, our song?” I look into his eyes. He closes them for a minute and nods. Looking over to Drew, “Do you remember the one I showed you on my iPod?” he nods. I glance at the others. “Think we can do it a little more low-key?” Brennan glances towards Matt and they both nod in unison. “Then its set. Gabe, ask him for five minutes okay?”
“Jems, you sure about this?” Gabe asks with worry in his voice. I nod. “I’m sure.” He swallow’s the lump in his throat and turns to talk to Bob who turns and announces that there will be a small 5 minute intermission so we can set up. As the guys begin to get things in order quickly, I duck out of the back door. A picnic bench sits just a few feet away. As I climb up and sit on the table portion of the bench, I lean on my legs with my elbows deep in thought.
“Penny for your thoughts?” a familiar voice startles me.
“Oh Mrs. Gonzales, you scared me.”
“Dear, how many times have I told you to call me Momma?” She smiles kindly at me. I watch her features as she sits. She has aged well. The beautiful wrinkles fit her face perfectly. Gabe is so fortunate and lucky to have come from such a beautiful woman, inside and out. “Can I be frank?” she asks. Afraid of what she’s about to say, I merely nod; there’s no way I can tell her no. “You’re scared right?” she smiles and takes my hand. “I know you are. It’s ok to be scared. Let me tell you a little something. Now you know Gabriel hasn’t been very, well, let’s say he doesn’t communicate with his father and me very well. But with the help from the girls, they have kept me in the loop with his life.” I’m feeling a bit confused as to why she’s decided to tell me this story now. “What I’m trying to get at is this.” She replies as if she can read my mind.
“Did you know Gabriel called me after the accident?” My breath catches. She pats me on the leg and continues. “He did. You were still being treated and stabilized. He told me everything. Of course it took me about an hour to calm him down, but once he did, he told me everything a little more clearly. I hadn’t spoken to him in probably two years prior to that, and that was simply because I had answered Ashley’s phone for her and he wasn’t expecting me to answer.” She smiles at the memory.
“Anyways, during your short time in and out of consciousness, I think I spoke to him about fifteen times a day.” Tears begin to fill in my eyes hearing this. She runs her finger under one of them as a tear escapes. Her voice so soft, “He was scared, so scared. At that point, I knew.” She took my hand in hers. “I knew that he was undoubtedly in love with you. I’ve never seen him so dedicated to another woman like he is with you. I had always thought he stayed away for another reason.” Her voice trailed away for a minute before coming back to me. “But then I realized that his world was wherever you were. He died a little each day you were gone. I know because I could hear it in his voice. He even told me he wished it was him that was laying in the other room and not William. He had said, if you went, he wanted to go to.” A tear escaped her eye now as the tears were in full flow at this new revelation.
“Honey, my point is, it’s alright to be scared. The difference is how we handle it. You took a big step of courage when you admitted yourself into rehab. I give you credit for that. My poor Gabriel didn’t know what to do with himself when you were gone. He showed up to see you every day, and they turned him away. I offered to fly him back home until you were released, but he refused. He said it was too far for him to be away from you. He also said when you got out; you cancelled the rest of the tour because it wasn’t the same without William. Sweetie, do you really think Will would have wanted you to go this long? Do you think if he was sitting right here, right now that he would be scolding you?”
“I’m almost positive he would have already had me onstage months ago. But Mrs.…” she scolds me immediately. “Maria,” I smile and correct myself immediately. “I am scared. But on the other hand, it just feels wrong. Will helped create what we have. But this is something that’s important to all of them. Gabriel has been so much at ease these past few days that I just can’t see not doing this for him.” I squeeze her hand. “I love him so much. I need to do this for him. When I woke up, my eyes first saw Brennan, but my heart was searching for Gabriel. I have denied him for so long that it’s become part of who we are. If he was able to get the courage to stick by my side,” I smile at all the cat and mouse memories. “I need to find the courage to do this for him. It means so much to him to have his family see what he’s accomplished, even if he denies it every step of the way.”
“Who’s denying what?” Gabe asks. Maria and I turn to see him leaning against the door frame. “Just came to tell you we’re ready for you. Whenever you are, angel.” He smiles.
Maria takes my cheek in her hand and motions my face away from Gabe’s, I frown slightly. “Don’t just do it for him sweetheart. I know you’ve not had a mother to help guide you in life, but know I’m always here if you ever need to talk. Okay?” I smile at her as a tear falls from my eye. She pulls me into a nice supportive hug and whispers. “Do it for you. You deserve it.” Then she releases me. A Twinkle in her eye shimmers as she hops down. She makes her way to Gabe who is now on his way over towards me. She hugs him and kisses his cheek. “You’ve got something special here, son. Something special indeed.” She says before releasing him and walking into the barn.
“I know Momma.” He says. I swivel my way to the end of the table to hop down. Before I know it, Gabe has me engulfed in his arms. “What was that about? And what am I denying?”
“Oh a little girl talk.” I say wrapping my arms around his waist and kiss him softly. “You can ask all you want, I’ll never break.” I smile into the kiss. A low rumble escapes him.
“Hmm, sounds like a challenge. Don’t worry angel, I have my ways.” He says matter-of-factly trailing kisses down my neck. I try to keep my breathing steady as his kisses make their way to just below my ear. A slight groan escapes me. “Let me ask again.” He drags his teeth on my earlobe. I whimper. “What am I denying?”
“Um…” Is all I can muster. He chuckles bringing his lips back to mine.
“Maybe later.” He says before taking my face in his hands. “Are you sure about this?” He sighs, “It’s just a song. The boys wanted to do two, but I told them no. I want to get thi
s done and over with. I have some more dancing to do with my girl.” His face lights up.
Bringing my hands to his face, mimicking his moves, I kiss him softly. “I’m sure Gabe.”
“Okay then, let’s do this.” He says lifting me off the table and walking me back into the barn. Once we step through the doors, Bob announces Gabe to sing a song. Brennan takes my hand and helps me onto the stool before handing Gabe’s guitar to him. He leans in and kisses my cheek before winking and walking into position. I turn to look at the remaining band members and they both give me encouraging smiles. Scooting his stool and facing me directly, Gabe turns my stool to face him. My heart is racing. Beads of sweat have formed on the back of my neck. “Hey.” He nudges his knee with mine. “I’ve got you remember?” I blink up at him, he takes his hand and with the back of his fingers, he brushes my cheek. The audience sighs in unison, guess this little public display was just enough to melt their hearts.
“Breathe Jenna. This song is solid. Just let go and give it to them.” He repeats those same words he said when we first sang the song together. Smiling, I take a deep breath and nod. Gabe gives Matt the cue and the song begins.
It’s Time
