“No, probably not. I just think about it a lot. He’s our kappa, along with Danny. Riley’s our omega. We’re part wolf pack, part military unit, all Venatores.”
“Protect and save those who can’t be protected and saved by conventional methods,” Lily said. “I read the brochure several years ago.”
Angelique grinned. “You got a brochure?”
“Michael had a hard sell in me.” Lily smiled at the memory. “I wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t trying to recruit me for some sort of Chinese crime gang, like the Triads. It took a lot of talking on his behalf to convince me that a British ex-soldier who’d been to Hell and back—literally and figuratively—could still do good in a military capacity.”
“Didn’t we all take a bit of convincing?” Angelique asked whimsically. “That’s why he recruits us. We have no place in our militaries or air forces or navies, and so along comes Archangel Michael to see if we want to join his own elite military to fight demons, monsters gone bad, and Fallen Angels.”
“Actually—” Lily straightened. “—that gives me an idea. Aren’t there Venatores veterans who have fought a Fallen Angel? Maybe we could get one of them to come and talk to the squad and tell us what we’d be up against.”
Angelique thought about that. “Not a bad plan. Might be worth getting the other squad leaders and alphas on board and making it a compulsory lecture for all Venatores to attend.”
“There, see? Proactive goodness.” Lily grinned and stood up. “I’m going to cook tea. You want to come over and eat with us tonight?”
Angelique smiled. “It’s a good thing I know you mean cook dinner and don’t think you’re going to cook tea leaves or something.” She laughed. “I’d love to, Lil. Thanks.” She paused, then asked, “Why do you call dinner ‘tea’?”
“Force of habit, I suppose,” Lily said. “My granny always did, and it stuck.” She stood and grabbed Angelique’s hand and tugged her to her feet. “Anytime, Jelly.”
THEY STARTED up the stairs, and at the first landing, Angelique heard arguing coming from above them. She gestured to Lily to be quiet and peered around the balustrade, peering up. Baxter was there, and he seemed agitated. Anna was standing in front of him, her hands on her hips, as her husband, Robert, stood looking on.
“What is it?” Lily whispered.
“I think Anna’s about to give Baxter a talking-to,” Angelique replied.
Even as they spoke, Anna swore loudly and slapped Baxter’s shoulder. “You’re an idiot,” she said. “Michael adores Gabriel. There is nothing to save him from, because Gabriel adores him just as much. If you think for one minute that Michael is going to look at you as anything more than a Venatores, then you’re deluded.”
“But—”
“But nothing, Baxter. Fucking hell, are there rocks in your head? They are bonded. Do you know what that means? Of course you don’t know what that means. It means, idiot, that they have committed to each other for eternity. It’s a ritual involving blood, magic, power, and soul. As you don’t have two of those, and oh, you’re human—”
“Shifter,” Baxter said sullenly.
“Whatever! Most of us Venatores are shifters! The point is that Michael wouldn’t look at you twice even if he was single, because he’s a fucking immortal! And you’re tempting the wrath of the Archangel of War, which has to be the single most asinine thing I’ve ever seen! You’ve seen what Gabriel does to beings who piss him off, or have you forgotten the Seventy Years War already?”
“No,” Baxter said. “But Anna, Michael’s gorgeous. And he’s so kind and generous and he’s a sweetheart. He deserves to be loved and treated with respect and tenderness.”
“Sweet zombie Jesus,” Anna cursed, throwing her hands up in frustration. “Gabriel loves Michael more than you can imagine. Get over this bullshit infatuation. Because it will not end well for you, if you don’t. Gabriel’s God’s fury and jealousy, and he won’t take much of you pining for his bondmate, you fuckwit!”
“Anna, maybe lower your voice a little?” Rob said diffidently. “The kids will hear you.”
“The kids hear worse than this at school,” she retorted. “Baxter, I know you’re still grieving for your boyfriend. But he’s dead. Gone. He isn’t coming back from a really long trip to the stores. You need to let all of this go and let yourself heal. Survivor’s guilt is one thing, but you’re really pushing this. I love you dearly, God help me, but I’m really scared you’re going to end up skewered on an Archangel’s sword because you’ve confused gratitude to Michael with love.”
Baxter was silent. Finally, he shrugged. “If you say so.”
“Dude,” Rob put in, “she’s right. We’re all worried about you.”
Baxter huffed. “I’m fine. I know how I feel, and it’s not misplaced gratitude or whatever you said it was.”
Anna swore in Russian. “I’m going to watch TV with the kids,” she declared. “That’ll be less frustrating than trying to talk sense into you.” She stormed off into the apartment she and Rob lived in with their two children, leaving Rob and Baxter on the landing.
“Bax, come on,” Rob said when she was gone. “Do you really want Angelique to report you to Mike for this? Mike will have you in psych care so fast, your head will spin, and that’ll be the end of your Venatores career.”
Baxter frowned. “He wouldn’t do that.”
“Yeah, he would. Before your time, buddy, but he’s done it before. I’ve seen it. I’ve had to help take the dude to the Venatores care house. Crushes are one thing, we all have them, but you’re going overboard here.”
Baxter sighed. “I just…. I don’t know what to do, man.”
“Talk to Riley,” Rob advised. “Or Lily. Or any of your squad. Let them help you.”
“If you say so,” Baxter said again.
“I do, man, I do. Because I’m really damn worried about you, and I don’t want to lose my best pal.” Rob pulled Baxter into a tight hug. “Open yourself to new possibilities. I know it’s hard. It’s easy to say ‘get over it and move on.’ But this, what you’re doing to yourself, fixating on Mike and pushing Gabe’s temper at the same time, that won’t end well for you. Even with the least violent option. Please, Bax, please. Talk to Riley about counseling. Talk to Raphael. Keep a diary or something. Anything. But try and let yourself heal.”
Rob stepped back, and Angelique and Lily watched as Baxter hunched into himself and nodded almost imperceptibly.
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Rob said. “Good.”
Baxter turned away.
“Bring him to my place,” Lily said to Angelique. “I’ll get Riley, and then we’ll have a squad tea and intervention lite.”
“What’s an intervention lite?” Angelique asked as they started up the stairs again.
“A gentle version of an intervention. Rob’s got him thinking now, so we need to keep it going. And he’s right, Baxter needs to see a counselor, because this thing with Mike he has in his head, I would bet good money that it’s covering up deeper issues that he’s never addressed.”
Angelique nodded. “Gotcha. Okay, your place in five?”
“Yes,” Lily said. “See you there.”
THE LITTLE group in Lily’s apartment was somber. Baxter was trying to crack jokes and lighten the mood, but none of the squad would let him. Danny sat beside Lily, shaking his head each time Baxter opened his mouth.
“Bax,” Lily said gently, “Rob’s right.”
Baxter’s forced smile slid from his face. He looked down at the carpet and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
Lily and Angelique shared a long look. This was the first time Baxter had admitted it.
“I don’t know what to do,” Baxter went on. “I like Michael, and yeah, maybe a bit of my crush is because I’m grateful. But…. I feel sort of like I’ve lost an arm or a leg, only I haven’t. I feel like since Zach died, that apart from Venatores, there’s no real point to living. And I wouldn’t be upset if I died on a mission, e
ither. What do I have to live for? My family’s dead, my Marine brothers are dead. Zach’s dead, the world changed for the worse because of the damn war. I have nightmares of kids with bombs strapped to them running toward me, and I have to kill them or my patrol will all die.” Tears were falling down his cheeks now, seemingly unnoticed by Baxter. Lily moved to pull him into a hug.
“I don’t want to be alone,” Baxter said, muffled into Lily’s shoulder. “But I don’t want to live, either.”
“Oh, Bax,” Lily said gently. She stroked his mussed dark-blond hair. “You’re not alone, you know.”
Baxter pulled back from her and gazed at her skeptically. “I feel pretty alone, Tiny.”
“Stop calling me that,” she scolded gently. “Just because I’m the shortest one in our squad—”
“In this building,” Danny teased.
“Hush,” she said, shooting him a fond look over her shoulder. “You’re not alone, Bax. You’ve got us. If you’re feeling a little discombobulated, go wolf. When you’re wolf, you’re not alone, you’re part of a pack. It’ll feel a lot better, trust me.” She laughed humorlessly. “It got me through seeing my mate get shot and eaten by demons.”
Danny leaned forward, resting one large hand on her shoulder in silent support. Baxter chewed his lower lip as he gazed at her, weighing up her words.
“It’s a good idea,” Riley said. “I’ll call Raph in the morning and see about arranging a counselor, but you should take advantage of your shifting abilities. Feeling part of a pack will do a lot to help you heal.”
Baxter nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll try it. Now?”
Lily and Riley regarded each other and nodded. “Sure, if you want,” Riley said.
Angelique nodded in support as Baxter stood up and gazed at her. “Go for it, Sugarcube,” she said.
“Okay.” Taking a breath, Baxter stripped off his clothes. His expression became one of intense concentration, and he shifted, blurring into the shape of a large pure-white Arctic wolf. He sat on his haunches, tongue lolling out, looking at the squad as they regarded him.
“How do you feel?” Lily asked.
“A little better.” Baxter’s voice inside their heads was full of surprise. “You were right, Squirt. Feeling pack makes the loneliness less. Thanks.”
“Don’t call me Squirt, and you’re welcome.” Lily reached over and ruffled his head. “You’re a pretty wolf. Do you want bones for tea, or are you going to change back to eat with us as a human?”
The wolf tilted his head to one side. “I’ll change for dinner. But then I’ll go wolf again.”
“You can stay here tonight if you want,” Danny offered.
“Thanks, man. I’d like that.”
Lily stood up. “Jelly, can you give me a hand with cooking?”
“Sure thing, Lil.” Angelique stood up and followed her friend into the kitchen.
“I am so bloody glad that worked,” Lily said in a quiet voice as she started rummaging in the fridge.
“It’ll take a while,” Angelique said, quirking an eyebrow as Lily began to pile her arms with food, “but it’s a damn good beginning. I really did not want to have to sign off on him going to care. He’s an idiot, but he’s pack, he’s squad. If this works, better and better. Why are you giving me a cauliflower?”
“Because I’ll do some cauliflower cheese, Riley and Danny love it.” Lily closed the fridge door and moved to the kitchen bench. “I think it’ll take time with Bax,” she said, returning to the original topic. “But I think going wolf for the duration of his grieving and coming to terms with his loss and his survivor’s guilt will be good for him. He’ll realize he’s never really alone.”
Angelique shook her head as she leaned against the wall, watching Lily begin to prepare dinner. “You know, I do not envy you at all. You went wolf for what, two years?” At Lily’s nod, Angelique continued, “You lived off the land and were, for all intents and purposes, a wolf. A wolf who had once been a human. I cannot imagine the trauma you witnessed that made you think being a wolf and eating raw badger would be a good alternative.”
“Deer, not badger,” Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Badgers bite.”
“Whatever. You know what I mean.”
“I do, yeah. It wasn’t easy, Jelly. But being a wolf, I thought and felt things as a wolf. It made the pain of loss easier to bear, especially being the sole survivor of a brutal fight between a bunch of rock demons and my colleagues, friends, and lover. I followed those demons down into Hell itself, you know. I fought them there, and I killed two of them. Then I clawed my way out and back to Earth. That…. Hell was not fun. It’s not supposed to be, I guess, but even for a shifter who slipped through the cracks on a mission of murder, it wasn’t pleasant. And then Michael came and offered me a different job, and I’ve never regretted my decision to become Venatores.”
“I don’t think any of us do,” Angelique said. “I think you’d have to be pretty much at the bottom of the barrel of hope to regret this job.”
“Too right,” Lily agreed. “Let’s hope it never comes to that for any Venatores.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Angelique went to the fridge. “You got any beer?”
“Yes. Take some in for Danny and Riley, would you please? And there’s a bowl for water for Bax.”
“’Kay.” Angelique gathered up beer bottles, a water bottle, and a bowl and went back into the living room. Baxter was lying on the floor, and she could feel that he was more relaxed and, blessedly, a little happier. Angelique made no mention of that as she handed around beer and poured water into the bowl for the wolf who was her squad mate. She retreated into the kitchen as quickly as possible and bit the inside of her cheek as she watched Lily.
“What’s up?”
“Hm? Oh. Nothing, not really. Just feeling a bit tired after all that emotional crap.” Angelique shrugged.
“You want to stay tonight, too, then?” Lily asked, shooting her a concerned look.
Angelique thought about it. “Sure. That sounds nice, actually. Thanks.”
“Anytime, Jelly.” Lily smiled. “Pack, squad, family, we’re all of that.”
Angelique smiled back. “True words, babe.”
From the doorway to the kitchen, Danny spoke. “And that’s why Riley’s staying tonight, too.”
Lily and Angelique glanced over at him. “That’s a good idea,” Angelique said. “Pack bonding time.”
“Yeah. What’s for dinner, love?” Danny walked over to Lily and pulled her into a hug.
“Guinness and beef stew, mashed potato, and cauliflower cheese,” she said, hugging him back.
“Ah, my love,” Danny said expansively, “you know the way to my heart.” He planted a kiss on top of her head. “I’ll just go out and grab an apple pie for desert.”
She smiled up at him. “And you know the way to mine. You’re such a good man, Danny.”
He grinned at her. “I’ll be back in ten. Hold the fort while I’m gone, ladies.”
Angelique saluted him. “Hurry back, soldier.”
“Count on it,” he promised.
Chapter Five
“MICHAEL, GABRIEL, you’d better get over here fast. And shield yourselves with every shield you know.”
Michael and Gabriel shared a glance. Raziel’s voice had come to them as barely a whisper, and his urgent summons had worried Gabriel immediately.
“This is bad,” Gabriel said.
“I fear you are right,” Michael agreed.
They moved together, using their power to shield themselves from all eyes save Archangel, and joined Raziel and Uriel where they were hiding behind a rusting, empty oil tank.
“What is it?” Michael whispered.
“Look.” Raziel pointed.
Gabriel followed the line of Raziel’s finger, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. The snow was still falling, a gentle yet steady curtain of white. However, despite that and the fact that it was the dark of night, Gabriel could clearly see the g
roup of people on snowmobiles who were heading toward their position.
“Who are they?” Michael asked, his voice puzzled.
“That is an excellent question.” Raziel was jiggling one leg. “I have no idea. I tried to identify them with my power. I couldn’t get a read on them at all. It was like trying to read volcanic glass. My power just… slid off them. So I tried to read their minds, and the same thing happened. They’re shielded, but not by anything we’ve encountered before.”
“I tried, too,” Uriel murmured. “I couldn’t get any sense of life from them at all. They registered as being moving shapes and that was it.”
Gabriel frowned. “Are they vampires?”
“No.” Raziel dismissed that immediately. “Vampires don’t have the magical ability to shield themselves at all. Even though they’re undead, we still can read them as existing. This lot coming toward us don’t register as existing at all.”
“Moving shapes,” Uriel repeated.
Gabriel pursed his lips. “They’re still coming toward us.”
From his left came the sound of a wolf howl.
“And so are the shifters,” Michael said. His voice was grim. “We must do something before there is bloodshed.”
“Cover me,” Gabriel said.
“What are you doing?” Uriel asked suspiciously.
“When stealth doesn’t work, one is bold,” Gabriel lectured. “So, I’m going to go and talk to them. I’ll be fine,” he added as Michael began to protest. Before they could stop him, Gabriel stepped boldly out from behind their cover and began to walk across the snow toward the group on their sleds, his feet crunching in the flakes that covered the ground.
“Shateiel,” Gabriel sent his thought to his lieutenant as a whisper, speaking in Aramaic and shielding his voice with his power. “Gather two battalions of Seraphim and meet me here immediately. Keep out of sight, shield yourself, and have the Seraphim do the same. Use every shield you know. Do not reveal yourselves until I give the order.”
There was a moment of silence, and then Shateiel’s voice filled Gabriel’s mind. “I will be there in five minutes, sir.”
The Wind-up Forest Page 6
